Gilded Age New Year’s Entertaining

Hot oysters, salads, boned turkeys, quail, and hot terrapin are offered by the wealthy, and wines are poured ad libitum, but this is a difficult table to keep in order when 10 men call at one o’clock, and 40 at four o’clock, and none between. The best table is one furnished with boned turkey and jellied tongues and pâtés which cut easily, sandwiches easy to eat, with cake and fruit merely as an ornamental aside, while the modern and admirable adjunct of a spirit-lamp under a tea-kettle keeps the bouillon, tea, and coffee always hot.

A lady who expects to have many calls, and who wishes to offer refreshments, should have hot coffee and tea and a bowl of punch on a convenient table, or, better still, a silver kettle filled with bouillon standing in the hall, so a gentleman can take a cup of it, unsolicited, going in or coming out. If she lives in an English basement house, this table can be in the lower dining-room. In a house three rooms deep, the table and all the refreshments can be in the usual dining-room, or, if she pleases, in the upper back parlor. Of course her “grand spread” can be as gorgeous as she pleases.

Hot oysters, salads, boned turkeys, quail, and hot terrapin are offered by the wealthy, and wines are poured ad libitum, but this is a difficult table to keep in order when ten men call at one o’clock, and forty at four o’clock, and none between. The best table is one furnished with boned turkey and jellied tongues and pâtés which cut easily, sandwiches easy to eat, with cake and fruit merely as an ornamental aside, while the modern and admirable adjunct of a spirit-lamp under a tea-kettle keeps the bouillon, tea, and coffee always hot.

These, with the tea-cups necessary to serve them, should be on a small table at one side. A maid in a neat cap and apron should be in con stant attendance on this table, and a man-servant or two will be needed to attend the door (which should never be left for a moment unattended) and to wait on the table. The man at the door should have a silver waiter or neat card-receiver, which he holds out for the card when the gentleman enters. If the gentleman is not known to the lady of the house, he sends in his card; if he is, he does not send it in, but leaves it with the waiter, who deposits it in some receptacle, where it is kept until the lady can examine all her cards the next day. If the gentleman is calling on a young lady, and is not known to the hostess, he sends in his card to the young lady, who presents him to the hostess and to all the ladies present. 

If the room is full, she can content herself with presenting the gentleman to her hostess. If the room is comparatively empty, it is much kinder to introduce the gentleman to all the ladies, as it tends to make conversation more easy. There can be no objection to this. As a gentleman rises to make his exit, the lady can say, “Won't you take some refreshment?” and motion him toward the dining-room. But this hospitality should never be urged upon a man. Few gentlemen accustomed to dine late like to spoil their dinners. In a country neighborhood, or after a long walk, most gentlemen, however, do like to break their fast, and go in willingly to eat a slice of boned turkey and to take a few pickled oysters, or simply to eat a sandwich and take a cup of bouillon.

The etiquette of New-Year’s is also peremptory in not asking a gentlemen if “you can relieve him of his hat,” or asking him to leave off his overcoat. He will prefer probably to wear his overcoat and to carry his hat in his hand during his brief visit. If he wishes to leave off either, he will do so in the hall. But on that point he is a free moral agent, and it is not a part of the duty of any hostess to even suggest what he shall do with his clothes.— Harpers Bazar, 1883

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia