Great 19th C. Social Reforms

Though Queen Victoria’s own manners were questionable at best, the period in time named for the Queen – the Victorian Era– conjures up images of gentility and gracious living. 

The following is a list of Victorian Social Etiquette and Manners:

Bowing: “A gentleman should not bow from a window to a lady on the street, though he may bow slightly from the street upon being recognized by a lady in a window. Such recognition should, however, generally be avoided, as gossip is likely to attach undue importance to it when seen by others.”

Dignity: “To greet someone by saying ‘Hello, old fellow’ indicates ill-breeding. If you are approached in this vulgar manner, it is better to give a civil reply and address the person respectfully, in which case he is quite likely to be ashamed of his own conduct.”

Small talk: “No topic of absorbing interest may be admitted to polite conversation. It might lead to discussion.”

Conduct to avoid at the ball: “No gentleman should enter the ladies’ dressing room at a ball.”

Card-playing: “If possible, do not violate the rules of the game and do not cheat. Should you observe anyone cheating, quietly and very politely call it to his attention, and be careful that you do not get excited. People who experience ill-feeling at the game should avoid playing.”

Marriage: “Anyone with bright red hair and a florid complexion should marry someone with jet-black hair. The very corpulent should marry the thin and spare, and the body, wiry, cold-blooded should marry the round-featured, warmhearted, emotional type.”

Husbands: “Always leave home with a tender goodbye and loving words. They may be the last.”

Train travel: “People with weak eyes should avoid reading on trains, and those with weak lungs should avoid talking.”

Street etiquette: “When crossing the pavement, a lady should raise her dress with the right hand, a little about the ankle. To raise the dress with both hands is vulgar and can only be excused when mud is very deep.” - From The Old Farmer’s Almanac.com

Since Victoria Was Crowned

“Great social reforms belong to Queen Victoria’s reign,” writes William George Jordan, in the Ladies’ Home Journal, narrating the progress of the world since Queen Victoria ascended the throne sixty years ago. “The degrading practice of flogging has been abolished in the armies and navies of America and England. Children are no longer permitted to work in the mines of Britain. Press gangs no longer force men into the service of the Queen’s navy. The Red Cross Society, approved by forty-nine nations, has softened the horror of war. The transportation of criminals, with its many evils, has been suppressed. Executions are no longer conducted in public. The treatment of criminals has become humane. Factory laws and building acts make life easier for the poor. 

“Inventive science has made marvelous progress in every department during Victoria’s sixty years as Queen. Cantilever bridges have surprised the world. Travel has been wonderfully quickened by street cars, cabs, trolleys, cable cars, elevated roads and other triumphs of invention. In 1837 there were no typewriters, no passenger elevators, no modem bicycles, no soda-water fountains, no horseless carriages, no chemical fire-extinguishers, no ironclads, no perfecting presses. Fully chronicling the inventive progress of the last six decades would make it seem as if nothing of real consequence to man’s comfort had been done before 1837.” –Placer Herald, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia