Top Ten Etiquette Changes by 1950

Trousers on women... “Slacks are not incorrect dress for resort areas, sports, and lounging at home,” says this expert, “but are improper for city wear. Of course,” she adds, “some women are mistaken to wear them ever.”

10 Important Etiquette Changes Listed by  

Emil Post’s Assistant

Anne Kent, personal assistant to Emily Post for more than 15 years, has listed for the December issue of Cosmopolitan magazine the ten most important changes in etiquette. Here they are:

1. First-name calling. Miss Kent finds no fault with this practice in circles where it’s taken for granted. She says that position and age should be respected, and children shouldn't call adults by their first names.

2. Trousers on women. “Slacks are not incorrect dress for resort areas, sports, and lounging at home,” says this expert, “but are improper for city wear. Of course,” she adds, “some women are mistaken to wear them ever.”

3. The younger set (past eighteen) after midnight. The modern young woman and her young man head for home alone or with other young friends, stopping off for a late snack.

4. Posture. “I don't believe we should revert to the ram-rod stiffness required when our grandmothers were young women,” says Miss Kent, “but a little more gracefulness of posture would eliminate a great American eyesore.”

5. The typewriter supersedes the pen. The typewriter for personal correspondence is now not merely approved but favored. Formal notes, such as answers to formal invitations, should be penned by hand. And letters of sympathy seem warmer and more sincere if handwritten.

6. Manners after divorce. Years ago, divorced couples shunned each other. But today, many of them remain good friends or, at least, on speaking terms.

7. Women and nicotine. Sherry’s, a famous old New York society restaurant, forbade any woman to light a cigarette on the premises. The modern woman reaches for a cigarette almost whenever or wherever she has the whim.

8. Calling on new neighbors. This old American custom is vanishing, a casualty of World War II. Miss Kent believes that “people’s instinctive kindness will eventually bring back the courtesy call.”

9. Buffet meals replace big dinners. The modern hostess who gives a dinner party can prepare ahead of time, relax, and ask the guests to help themselves.

10. The decline of chivalry. Since gaining a more equal status with men, women no longer expect deference as the “weaker” sex. Unless she’s infirm or elderly, the modern woman must hustle for a seat on the subway. And that old hats-off-in-elevator rule has been completely revoked in business-building elevators.

According to Miss Kent, feminine independence has been paid for out of the currency of male chivalry. And many a woman seems to believe the purchase isn’t worth the price. – Whittier Star Review, 1950

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the People of Peru

Today, Peru reflects a mixture of ancient sites, colonial architecture, diverse cultures and many languages.

I grew up with my nose buried in Enid Blyton's Famous Fiveand Secret Seven, and later devoured every page of Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew mysteries. Those stories ignited my passion for solving mysteries and unravelling intrigue. As a teenager, my imagination was set ablaze by the cinematic magic of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark—a whirlwind of treasure-hunting adventures spanning South America to the Middle East. So, when the opportunity to visit Peru arose, I didn’t just say yes—I was all in.

The Backstory of Peru

Archaeologists have discovered that Peru’s rich history spans thousands of years over 15,000 years, beginning with the ancient Norte Chico civilization to the Moche, Nazca, and Chavín, then to the Inca Empire in the 15th century. The Spanish conquest in 1532, led by Francisco Pizarro, toppling and plundering the Incas, led to the colonization of the region and a fusion of Spanish and indigenous cultures. Peru gained independence in 1821, driven by revolutionary leaders like José de San Martín and Simón Bolívar. Today, it reflects a mixture of ancient sites, colonial architecture, diverse cultures and many languages.

What Not To Say or Do with Peruvians

When interacting with Peruvians, it's important to be mindful of certain cultural sensitivities, such as:
• Refrain from making jokes about illegal drugs, as such comments are considered offensive rather than humorous. The Peruvians have held the coca leaf in high regard for thousands of years for its medicinal properties, which especially help with gastrointestinal ailments, motion and altitude sickness.
• Never use the term “cholo” to refer to indigenous or mestizo Peruvians. Dictionary.com states its derogatory meaning; “an immigrant who is considered to be low-class and poorly educated”. On the flipside if you’re referred to as gringo, it’s usually not intended as an insult but as a general term for foreigners, every country uses a similar term.
• Avoid bringing up political topics unless you have built a strong rapport, as these can be polarising and sensitive. Also, avoid talking about the historical rivalry between Peru and Chile, as that can also be contentious.
• While Peruvians take pride in their Inca heritage, avoid stereotyping modern Peruvian culture as solely tied to ancient traditions, as it has evolved significantly. Also, be cautious not to generalise Peruvians with other Hispanic or Latin American populations, as each country has its own distinct culture, which you will find out once travelling through the Americas.
• Lastly, I made the mistake of casually referring to South America as “America.” I quickly learned that when referring to the United States, it's more appropriate to use “United States” or “Estados Unidos” in Spanish. South America, on the other hand, is often referred to as part of “The Americas,” while Canada is recognised as part of North America. After being corrected several times, the lesson stuck with me—it was as unforgettable as the fiery experience of eating a single Paqui tortilla chip! (which I highly do not recommend).

Social and Greeting Etiquette

Peruvians place great importance on introductions and greetings. Common greeting phrases include “buenos días” -good morning, “buenas tardes” - good afternoon and “buenas noches” for good evening. The greeting is done by a firm handshake and eye contact, while professionals are addressed by their titles, especially in formal settings or when meeting someone for the first time. This is a way to acknowledge and welcome individuals into a home or business.

Among friends and family, the “abrazo” or embrace, is common, consisting of a handshake and hug between men or a hug and kiss on the right cheek between women. Men often add a pat on the back when greeting close friends or family. Addressing people is also culturally significant. Friends often use first names or nicknames. Older individuals are typically addressed as “Señor” or “Señora” followed by their surname, or more informally as “Don” or “Doña” with their first name.

Reflecting on my journey through Peru, I couldn’t help but feel like I was channelling Indiana Jones himself. As Indy once said, “It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage,” and my time in Peru added miles of unforgettable experiences to my life’s map. Peru’s treasures—its culture, cuisine, and people—proved to be as priceless as any artifact Indy might have sought.

Explore Peruvian Dining Etiquette

The traditional cuisine of Peru is deeply embedded in the nation's cultural and culinary heritage. Iconic dishes include ceviche, and fresh raw fish marinated in lime juice and served with sweet potatoes and corn, which are best eaten fresh with a fork to combine the flavours. Popular street foods like anticuchos (grilled beef heart skewers) are eaten straight off the stick with lime and spicy sauce, while hearty Andean dishes like pachamanca are earth-cooked meals of marinated meats and vegetables, enjoyed family-style, and fingers can be used to eat this amazing meal.

Peruvians enjoy a variety of meats that may be considered exotic elsewhere, which I did try whilst travelling through Peru. Cuy (guinea pig), a traditional Andean delicacy, are often roasted or fried and has a tender, gamey flavour, which I really enjoyed. Alpaca and llama meat, both lean and protein-rich, are common in the Andes, with alpaca offering a mild, slightly sweet taste and llama resembling lamb or venison. I found the meat to be quite fatty, which makes sense given that these animals spend much of their time in cold environments, requiring extra fat for insulation.

Reflecting on my journey through Peru, I couldn’t help but feel like I was channelling Indiana Jones himself. As Indy once said, “It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage,” and my time in Peru added miles of unforgettable experiences to my life’s map. Peru’s treasures—its culture, cuisine, and people—proved to be as priceless as any artifact Indy might have sought. It was an adventure that deepened my appreciation for this remarkable country. — By Elizabeth Soos, Founder of Auersmont School of Etiquette & Protocol

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth is currently traveling throughout India and brushing up on her Hindi.

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Spotlight on Kseniia Markova

                                   

        Meet Etiquipedia Contributor, 

Kseniia Markova

Below are links to Kseniia Markova’s articles on Russian etiquette you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

• The Etiquette and History of Vodka
• Etiquette and the Russian Zakuski Table

I'm very proud that I've never given two same lectures in my entire career, I always add something or change the way of view. To be honest, I'm not a teacher, but a researcher. 

The following is a Q. & A. with Kseniia:

What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?

I would say it was happening by accident, but on the other hand, it could not have been any other way. It is very logical. On my dad's side of the family, we have a dynasty of diplomats, and on my mom's side, writers, artists, screenwriters and historians. No one forced me to choose, but these are such different fields of activity... 

When you grow up among people who are passionate about their work, who have achieved s real success and recognition, it is very difficult, but you really want to find your own way and make your own contribution to something good. And so, in our Etiquette748 project, I managed to make “homage” to both parts of my family. I write about etiquette, about history of etiquette and cross-culture. 

Kseniia is a holder of diplomas and certificates from leading schools and teachers in Europe. (including: Institut Villa Pierrefeu, Debrett’s Academy, The Minding Manners etc... She is the author of several books, including, “European Etiquette: Conversations about good manners and subtleties of behavior in society,” and “Etiquette. Traditions and history of romantic relationships,” and “Dress code: Etiquette and classics as ways of self-expression.” In 2022, this book won an award as the best in the field of etiquette. She is a member of the National Association of Protocol Specialists (NASP)

I write not only in Etiquette 748 as a blog, but I have a few books published already and one more, I hope, will “born” before the end of the year.  I am engaged in social European etiquette, Most of the diplomas and certificates I have received are about this. Now I find the topic of the history of feasting, table settings, table manners and the study of various rules related to this important issue in the history of people very fascinating. 

Food is the engine of progress at absolutely any stage of human evolution, because it is our basic need. People need to eat in order to live. Some products that today seem to us the most ordinary have gone through an interesting and long historical way and have become the basis of culture. Table setting, table manners are not just knives and forks lying on a certain side. Not at all! There are many different meanings and nuances in this.

I believe that we make the world a better. I believe that studying history and the peculiarities of different cultures makes you think about the diversity of the world, learn to respect the past, better understand the present and have some hope, be optimistic about the future. Etiquette, certainly, sets some boundaries, but they allow different people who grew up in different worlds and have different values ​​to find a common language and communicate comfortably, and most importantly, safely, find common topics. The main thing is not to offend anyone. It is especially unpleasant to do this out of ignorance or when you did not want it or just meant something else, but the someone understood it incorrectly, in a wrong way. 

Kseniia is a specialist in European social etiquette. Project creator & author for ETIQUETTE748, Kseniia won a national award in the field of protocol, image and etiquette, “For contributions to the development and popularization of the profession” for quality content that supports the ETIQUETTE748 project - 2018, and was a national award winner in the field of protocol and etiquette, in the category “Best educational project in the field of etiquette” -2022.

What do you enjoy teaching or passing on to others most?

I don't have any regular classes and I don't have a regular program. I'm very proud that I've never given two same lectures in my entire career, I always add something or change the way of view. To be honest, I'm not a teacher, but a researcher. Etiquette748 is already 10 years old and all this time we regularly publish articles 2-3 times a week on various topics related to etiquette. 

I try to keep up with what is happening in the global etiquette community, what books and interesting articles are coming out, new or previously published. 

What types of services do you offer?

We still don't have any plan, we write about what seems interesting for us. And taking this opportunity, I would like to thank my colleague Elena Fujiyama, a specialist in Japanese etiquette, for such a long and pleasant collaboration. Our articles can and should be read in the morning over a cup of coffee and we are very glad that we have been doing this for more than 10 years, it is for everyone and it is completely free.

I would like to thank my colleague Elena Fujiyama, a specialist in Japanese etiquette, for such a long and pleasant collaboration.

What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?

I have worked with a variety of groups, except children. This, in my opinion, is a completely different world and I am not competent and good enough in this. I do not really deal with business etiquette, so I only have a few business clients.

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy most?

I like primary sources of etiquette history, for example, memoirs or letters of some famous people. There are many interesting things there, but, of course, it is impossible to definitely attribute them to historical sources. Opinions, observations and conclusions made by a specific, even very intelligent person are usually subjective. But you can feel the mood, aroma, tempo of some era that has long since passed away. These touches and nuances so beautifully complement the overall picture. 

Cookbooks of the past, articles in old newspapers and magazines, photographs of people and cities, castle interiors, guidebooks, paintings, catalogs of old exhibitions - all this is very interesting and very important. But in general, any information should be treated very carefully and checked many times. But still, I am an etiquette specialist and the blog is not only educational, but also entertaining. 

Thank you one more time, for me it is a big honor and pleasure to be a small part of your great Etiquipedia community!

If you’d like to reach Kseniia, she can be contacted via her feed @etiquette748 on Instagram

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia