Etiquette for Christmas Greetings

A personal message on a late 19h century photograph served as a Christmas card– “The experts urge us not to add greeting cards to our Christmas list of woes. ‘I've never gotten offended by not getting a card,”  ~ Image from the Etiquipedia private library

Keep Christmas greetings brief, experts say

The Do’s and Dont’s of Sending Greetings

If you've had triplets in Brooklyn but haven't told a buddy in Biloxi, go ahead, break the blessed event in your Christmas blurb. Otherwise, please spare the details.

“Some kind of megalomania seizes people at this time of year. They write all kinds of things they wouldn't dream of telling you,” says “Miss Manners” Judith Martin. "If you're going to write a letter, for heaven's sake, write a letter."

A card-carrying greeting card-hater, the syndicated columnist says the holiday season is one exception: if it's done “write.” The only yuletide words she sends come from her own pen, but Martin says painted cards are proper as long as you at least sign your name.

And about that trail of names you'll soon pull out with the artificial tree. “If your husband says, ‘I thought they were friends of yours,’ and you say, ‘I thought they were friends of yours,’ maybe it's time to drop them,” Martin says.
“Eventually, they'll do the same,” adds another Queen of Courtesy, Elizabeth Post. Post, author of “Etiquette: A Guide to Modern Manners,” has her list down to 80 names. And most years, her message benefits UNICEF or another charitable organization that puts out cards.

The experts urge us not to add greeting cards to our Christmas list of woes. “I've never gotten offended by not getting a card,” says Joseph Gonzales, of Masterpiece Studios, a card company out with a brochure called “Christmas Card Etiquette.”

Other do's and don'ts:

• DON'T use a Christmas card to announce your wife just died. Also, no fa-la-la-la-la's to anyone in mourning. Choose a card that says something like “Peace on Earth,” but…
• DON'T kick in condolences.
• DO save it for another season, if you must send off-color jokes or dirty messages.
• DO give your postage meter the day off. Stamps are more festive.
• Send cards to business contacts, but…
•  DON'T overdo it - you won't spruce up your image if the recipient doesn't remember who you are. And…
• DO sign all cards.

–By Jane Gottlieb, Gannett News Service, 1987

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia