Etiquette Guide for Stationery Company

…there are certain ways to word a wedding invitation. It should be engraved in black on two-fold, white or ivory watermarked stationery. You should use a black pen to address envelopes. But what if someone wants to use pink stationery with purple butterflies or unengraved wording? “The customer is always right,” Mac Leary says emphatically.

Stationery Etiquette Expert Still on Duty

If someone needs to know the manner, style or type of stationery for formal or informal engraved, printed or handwritten messages, Kathryn Mac Leary, 71, has the answer. Mac Leary is the guardian of stationery etiquette. She works for Styron Engraving Co., an 84-year-old Louisiana stationery store, where she's been a buyer or salesperson since 1955. But Mac Leary is best known for answers she gives people around the world in matters of proper communication and stationery etiquette.

In 31 years with Styron, she's helped hundreds of brides get married, debutantes get presented and military affairs be planned. She's had a hand in thousands of proper invitations. Her answers always come from a book, usually Emily Post's "The Blue Book of Social Usage," 10th edition, purchased 52 years ago at New York City's Grand Central Station while Mac Leary was on her honeymoon.

"It's worn out," she says. "In shreds." The book's spine separates from its blue cover and is put back together with tape. The title's gold letters are faded. The pages contain written notations. Page 262 is turned down because it refers to wedding anniversary themes, a frequently asked question.

"Emily Post is my favorite," she says. "The others are too modern." It is still up to date, she thinks, because good taste and manners never go out of style. Another book Mac Leary refers to is "The Social Stationery Blue Book" by Crane & Co., manufacturer of fine watermarked stationery and maker of the nation's currency.

Also well-thumbed is the "Vogue Social Book" by Millicent Fenwick. Mac Leary doesn't rely on memory. If a question comes up, "I've got it all written in the book in a million places." Basically, though, when you're talking rules, you're talking formal. "If it's a printed, informal invitation, you can do anything you want to," she says. "You can be wild. If it's formal, engraved, you have to go by the 'Blue Book. There are rules even on sizes of paper for everything."

For example, there are certain ways to word a wedding invitation. It should be engraved in black on two-fold, white or ivory watermarked stationery. You should use a black pen to address envelopes. But what if someone wants to use pink stationery with purple butterflies or unengraved wording? "The customer is always right," Mac Leary says emphatically. However, "it is my responsibility to tell you this is not according to the 'Blue Book.'"

Mac Leary tries to guide customers, but she is not judgmental. She just wants everyone to do it right. She even disagrees with Emily Post on one point. "I say don't take the tissue out that comes with the wedding invitation. She tells you to take it out. But I disagree. I know engravers. It protects the engraving."

In matters of etiquette, she urges people to ask if they don't know. Mac Leary's not snobbish about her knowledge - she's never too busy to guide a newcomer or the socially uninitiated into the uncharted waters of etiquette. – By Margaret Martin for Gannett News Service, 1987

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia