1958 Soviet Socialist Etiquette

For 40 years no effort at all was made to “inculcate” manners. But now, four decades, dozens of steel mills and thousands of collective farms after the revolution — with the advent of pink kapron (nylon) stockings, washing machines and frozen green peas — etiquette is being re-emphasized in Russian life... Although good manners are created by the people, they came to us from the bourgeois Court society which imprinted upon them their class coloring, and in many cases, distorted their very essence. Bourgeois morals consider manners as a kind of screen behind which one can can conceal the surrounding people's one's true essence.

Russians Briefed on Socialist Social Conduct

If Emily Post were to visit the Soviet Union she would probably be both amused and horrified by the state of etiquette here. Officially, etiquette does not exist in comradely, friendly Soviet society, for it implies the cold superficiality of bourgeois and Court life. As with both things here, etiquette is politics. 

For 40 years no effort at all was made to “inculcate” manners. But now, four decades, dozens of steel mills and thousands of collective farms after the revolution — with the advent of pink kapron (nylon) stockings, washing machines and frozen green peas — etiquette is being re-emphasized in Russian life.

The most important exposition of the new etiquette line has appeared in a volume called “For a Healthy Way of Life.” Among other things, this book treats of the material and moral foundations of Soviet life, the preparation of healthy food, hair hygiene, care of the teeth, how to dress tastefully, and how to have good manners.

Here are a few excerpts from the chapter on good manners, written by N. Gordienko:

Bourgeois and Socialist Etiquette

If good manners serve as a certain manifestation of good breeding how then can one explain the distrust and at times scornful attitude toward them by some people? Why are these manners sometimes considered “trifles” which allegedly do not deserve attention and are even considered as remnants of capitalism?

Although good manners are created by the people, they came to us from the bourgeois Court society which imprinted upon them their class coloring, and in many cases, distorted their very essence. Bourgeois morals consider manners as a kind of screen behind which one can can conceal the surrounding people's one's true essence.

In socialist society we're all together. Different relationships have been established between people. Manners are completely freed from those alien distortions to which they are subjected in bourgeois and Court societies and they become the outward expression of the high internal culture of the Soviet man.

Being a Guest or Having Guests

• At the table, the man pays attention to the woman sitting to his right, not forgetting, of course, the woman sitting to his left.
• People should not be forced to drink at the table. Forcing a person to drink more than he wishes is a sign of bad taste.
• When a lot of toasts are made, you must not always drink to the bottom.
• The glass should be held at the stem and not raised too high.

Table Manners

• One must observe the necessary hygienic and aesthetic requirements. One must not sit down at the table without washing one's hands. 
• While eating, one must sit straight, not too far and not too close to the table. 
• One must not bend too much over the plate, nor rest ones chest or elbows on the table. 
• Keep legs near the chair and not stretched out under the table. 
• Some have had the bad habit of looking at papers or books while eating. 
• At the table it is improper to gesticulate.
• When pouring soup, do not pour out a full plate since some may spill over. If it is hot it can be cooled by noiselessly stirring with a spoon. Do not blow on it or you will soil the tablecloth.
• Meat dishes, “weenies” and chops are eaten with a knife and fork, but do not slice or cut everything up at once. You should cut off piece by piece. While doing this, of course, the knife should be held in the right hand and the fork in the left. 
• You never eat off a knife.
• When you are eating fish, you usually do not use a knife. This is dictated by reasonable measures of safety, for when cutting fish with a knife you may accidentally cut and swallow a small bone.
• Fruit compote is eaten with dessert spoons and if there are none, then with teaspoons. 
• Fruit pits are soundlessly spit out into the spoon by bringing the spoon up to your lip then dropping them on the plate or saucer.
• Tea, coffee, cocoa and milk are not poured full into the glass or cup. 
• You usually do not drink from the saucer.
• It is not recommended to take food from platters with your own spoon and fork. This is unhygienic and is not pleasant for the other people. — T. Frankel for The NY Times, 1958

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia