‘At Home’ and Bonnet Etiquette of 1886

If a lady is not able to be present, she has but to mail her card to arrive on the afternoon on which the tea is given, and later when the hostess looks ever her cards she discovers who were present in person and who acknowledge her invitation by sending cards. The “At Home” is a miscellaneous after, and special acceptances or regrets are quite out of place. 

The etiquette of the “At Home” is by no means the etiquette of the ball, the lunch, or the dinner. People talk of sending “Regrets” in response to an “At Home,” which is not at all the thing to do. If a lady is not able to be present, she has but to mail her card to arrive on the afternoon on which the tea is given, and later when the hostess looks ever her cards she discovers who were present in person and who acknowledge her invitation by sending cards. The “At Home” is a miscellaneous after, and special acceptances or regrets are quite out of place. 

The practice of removing the bonnet at lunch is almost exclusively confined to Boston. In New York, no lady would dream of removing her bonnet at lunch any more than she would in church. In the dining-rooms at the Windsor and the Victoria, it is exceptional to see a lady without a bonnet at the luncheon hour, while in Boston, at the Vendome, it is as exceptional to see one with her hat, unless it is a transient guest.— Boston Traveller, 1886

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