Bridal Etiquette and Thanks

In 1957, Amy Vanderbilt wrote that no one may write notes of thanks for the bride. Wrote Vanderbilt, “It is a social responsibility she alone must fulfill.” But a more modern etiquette has evolved since then, and it is refreshingly common for new spouses to assist one another in writing notes of thanks for wedding gifts they receive. We believe Amy would approve!

Q. “What is the most frequent error that brides make?”

A. People can smile tolerantly and forgive any little mistakes that can easily happen at a wedding or a reception. But the thing they are most often deeply hurt by is the bride’s failure to acknowledge their wedding gifts promptly and properly. It is never correct to send printed cards of thanks for wedding gifts.

Wedding gifts should always be acknowledged with handwritten notes as soon after their receipt as possible, within 3 months at the very outside. They may be short, but they should be sincere, appreciative, and should mention the gift itself, even where literally hundreds of gifts have been received. And no one may write them for the bride. It is a social responsibility she alone must fulfill. –Amy Vanderbilt, 1957 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia