Etiquette for Offices and Artichokes

Experience will teach you that those careful about these discretions are those who gain the promotions; that the careless ones mysteriously and suddenly lose their jobs.

The secretary who is cautious will never allow herself to participate in office criticism that may lose her place for her. Moreover, as long as one's livelihood is dependent upon an organization’s money, one should-in conversation at least-be loyal to its officers. Even when away from the office you should not discuss your employer's business. Experience will teach you that those careful about these discretions are those who gain the promotions; that the careless ones mysteriously and suddenly lose their jobs.

Reader's Question Answered

Dear Miss Markel- How should artichoke be eaten? D. D. Answer- With the fingers. Each leaf should be pulled off sepa- rately and held with the fingers while the edible end is dipped into the sauce. When all the leaves have been eaten the heart should be eaten with a fork after the thorny part has been scraped off with a knife. —Copyright, 1939

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Book Browser’s Take on Emily Post

The modern ideal of hospitality… from the 1937 printing of Emily Post’s Blue Book of Etiquette – Friendliness, rather than formality, is expressed in every detail of this enchanting picture.

“The Browser” Talks of Books

LAUGH AT Mrs. Emily Post and her etiquette book if you want, but the Browser from now on is on her side of the car tracks. He has just given an hour of his invaluable time to hopping and skipping around in her massive tome, “The Blue Book of Social Usage,” and he is a changed man. If he ever sniffed at Mrs. Post he was a blundering idiot and did not know that the basis of her philosophy of etiquette is always tact, taste, consideration, convenience and courtesy Her “good form” is not conspicuous waste of gesture but a streamlined remodeling of conduct to suit the requirements of 1937. And the Browser approves, and he knows very few members of the human species who would not profit from rambling through the 877 pages of Mrs. Post's “Etiquette.”

The Browser doesn't go to opera, so he isn't interested in knowing what to do with an opera hat that he doesn't own. Neither does he dance, so he skips the chapter on dancing. He was raised among artichokes, so her little paragraph on how to eat them is wasted on him. But many of the other tips and commands she gives would be very useful to him, and they would keep other people from recognizing him for the savage that he essentially is.

She’s no fuss budget. Mrs. Post tells you not to put your elbows on the table in a private home, but at a small table in a restaurant she does not forbid it. She does not tell young women they mustn’t smoke; but she does say that it is not yet good form for them to smoke on the street. She gives advice on office manners; she teaches the young man how to avoid boorishness; she supplies tips on how to keep the conversational ball rolling, and after turning over the pages of her book the Browser understands why 25 large printings of it have been sold since 1922. No snob gets any comfort out of Emily Post. – By Marshall Marlin, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and “Grille” Flatware

What is “Grille” Flatware? 

Also known as “Vogue” or “Viande” Flatware, the following is the story of this briefly popular style of utensils…

“Longer handles are a logical development.” — Detroit Architect, Eliel Saarinen, one of nine architects invited by the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City to design thirteen room settings for The Architect and the Industrial Arts, its eleventh exhibition of contemporary American design. The organizers requested that all furnishings and accessories for a room be included, and they stipulated that no object to be displayed could already be in production.

– Copyrighted text and images from the upcoming book by Etiquipedia© site editor, Maura J. Graber, “More What Have We Here?: Yesteryear’s Etiquette, Tools and Dining Utensils from the 16th to Mid-20th Centuries”

Tea Time Magazine recommended its use at a Tea Table back in December of 2022, “The grille or viande style was popular through the 1950s. This knife design has a shorter blade and a longer handle and is usually the size of a luncheon knife, approximately 8½ inches, which makes it attractive on the tea table. ” Etiquipedia disagrees with this advice, and believes that “Youth” or “Pudding”/ “Dessert” sized flatware is much more appropriate, if one does not own “Tea” sized flatware. In fact, many Youth sized pieces were listed as Tea sized flatware and were interchangeable.

Above, a grille-size knife… I was amused when one well known company suggested that grille sized flatware was invented for eating “delicacies from the grille.” The same company also surmised that the knives were “used for carving and serving food directly from the grill.” Perhaps this type of flatware did become popular at some point with outdoor grillers, but I have yet to find any evidence of this trend. Nor can I find any suggestion of this in advertising of the period. From a practical standpoint, knowing these feature fairly dull-edged knife blades, I cannot imagine using them for “carving” anything from the grille, unless we are discussing hamburgers. 

The Style Made its Debut in 1929

In 1929, House Beautiful Magazine interviewed Eliel Saarinen, the Finnish architect who immigrated to the U.S., on the Metropolitan Museum’s exhibit he participated in.

“Table knives,” says Eliel Saarinen, the Detroit architect who showed a dining-room at the Metropolitan Museum exhibit, have been constructed on the wrong principle. “The blades have been much longer than necessary, while the handles have been much too short, so that the user, when cutting, has always been obliged to brace his finger well down on the blade, which has obvious disadvantages.”

Mr. Saarinen has designed some new knives which are quite as attractive as they are practical, and one wonders why we have so long clung to the old irrational and conventional kind. This search for the logical and simple is leading us away from some of our outdated habits.” — House Beautiful, May 1929

More on the briefly popular Grille Flatware

This settings above feature the style flatware known as, “Grille”, “Viande” and “Vogue.” The knife is about 2/3 handle and 1/3 blade, as opposed to the normal 1/2 handle with 1/2 blade. The handle of the fork is nearly 3/4 of the fork with the bowl and tines 1/4. This “modern” style of flatware was introduced first to the public in 1927. 

According to a 2003 article by William P. Hood of Magazine Antiques, “The story begins in 1927 or 1928, when nine architects were invited by the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City to design thirteen room settings for The Architect and the Industrial Arts, its eleventh exhibition of contemporary American design. The organizers requested that all furnishings and accessories for a room be included, and they stipulated that no object to be displayed could already be in production.

The new flatware designed was sleek with patterns reminiscent of the skyscrapers dotting the skylines of modern cities. Several different American flatware companies produced the knives, forks and spoons. “The dinner knife executed by International Silver, for example, was 9 1/4 inches long, with its handle measuring about 6 inches. The handle of its dinner fork was about average (approximately 5 inches), but the functional end was shorter than usual, to match the abbreviated knife blade. The idea for the new style of table knife came from the perception that it is uncomfortable for the extended index finger to press against the narrow back (or ‘top’) of the blade when one cuts with a conventional knife.”

By 1930, the new style of flatware was available to the public, but its popularity only lasted about 25 to 30 years. The flatware shown in the setting above is the 1940 “Treasure” pattern, by Wm. Rogers. The dishes are early 1940’s “Desert Rose” Franciscan ware. — Maura J. Graber, 2023

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Decor Advice 1940

Like your prayers, their locale should be your sanctum sanctorum - your boudoir, bedroom or private den to which also confine photographs and other portraits of your family. 

Good Taste

The picture on its walls will either make or mar your living room. If its general motif is to be gay or modern, do not adorn it with religious pictures. Like your prayers, their locale should be your sanctum sanctorum - your boudoir, bedroom or private den to which also confine photographs and other portraits of your family. 

For modernistic rooms, select modernistic pictures. For pictures with simple subjects - farm landscapes, peasants, etc… - select only simple frames. Court scenes or pictures of royalty in regal regalia look best in elaborate frames.

Where walls are light, pictures should be light and vice versa. Tall, narrow pictures and wide horizontal spaces require broad pictures. Hang the picture dominating your room so that its center of interest is at the level of your eye, if you are of average height.

Readers’ Questions Answered

Dear Miss Markel: As a recent bride, I am wondering how I should sign “thank you” notes and other letters John and Mary Smith or Mary and John Smith; also how should I sign my name- Mrs. Mary Smith or Mrs. John Smith?-M. S.


Answer- “Thank you” notes for wedding gifts should be signed by the bride, but in the body of the letter some reference should be made to the groom, thus: “John and I are simply thrilled with the lovely candlesticks you sent us.” When you sign your joint signatures, “Mary and John” is better. Your signature should be Mary Smith, omitting “Mrs.” You should, however, be addressed “Mrs. John Smith” and not “Mrs. Mary.”– Francine Markel, 1940

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Tardy Dinner Guests

Tardiness for dinner being one of the cardinal social sins, the detained guest should certainly call his hostess on the telephone, explain his delay and insist that she shall not wait for him. On his arrival he should go to her and offer a profound apology.

How long should dinner wait for a tardy guest? This question I am asked continually.

Not more than 15 minutes at the most. Tardiness for dinner being one of the cardinal social sins, the detained guest should certainly call his hostess on the telephone, explain his delay and insist that she shall not wait for him. On his arrival he should go to her and offer a profound apology.

Reader's Questions Answered

Dear Miss Markel: Recently I was bridesmaid at the wedding of a close friend. I gave her a wedding gift. Do I have any other "musts" regarding this? –Anne

Answer: Wedding attendants, whether best man, maid of honor, bridesmaid or usher, owe a social call to the mother of the bride.

Courtesy and etiquette demand that within three weeks after the wedding you pay your respects in this manner to the family of the girl who was thoughtful enough to have included you among her very best friends.

All wedding guests, too, are expected to call. You might also entertain in honor of the bride and groom, if you wish. – Francine Markel, 1939

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette Advice for Apartment Living

To afford more space, place the table against the wall rather than in the center of the room and if possible place it against the window to afford a view of the out-or-doors. 

Dear Miss Markel– I have taken an apartment with a dining alcove. Please give me some points as to how to furnish it.- Κ. Κ.

Answer- It should have furniture harmonizing with the living room, if it opens into it. To afford more space, place the table against the wall rather than in the center of the room and if possible place it against the window to afford a view of the out-or-doors. 

If your choice lies between a case of drawers and a sideboard, choose the former which is more suitable for such a space. Unless they are unusually decorative pieces, dishes should be kept out of sight.

 

Dear Miss Markel - My living room has five windows. Could you give me any hints about decorating them ... whether I should use draperies or merely glass curtains, etc., etc.? – І. М.

Answer- The windows should be dressed uniformly. You may use draperies if you wish. If so, they should be of plain rather than of a striking pattern. Let the view from the windows, as well as the objects in the room supply your decorative effect and in this way avoid the confusion of overemphasis. — Francine Markel, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Travel and More, 1937

The cost of your room and meals, tips to hotel porters who carry your luggage and any other expenditures which you personally incur should be paid by you.

Dear Miss Markel- I have been invited to go on an automobile trip with four of my friends. Please tell me just what share of the expenses are mine? – Judy

Answer- The cost of your room and meals, tips to hotel porters who carry your luggage and any other expenditures which you personally incur should be paid by you.

You should offer to share the cost of gasoline, oil and garage rent for the car. Perhaps your friends will not allow you to assume any share of these items, but you will feel more comfortable for having offered to pay.

Some people on joint trips, such as this, add up the entire expenses of the trip and divide it by the number of travelers (five in your case) each bearing an equal part. 

 

Dear Miss Markel- I am to be married and intend to continue working. How should I sign checks, receipts and other papers that require my name-Mrs. Mary Smith, Mary Smith or Mrs. J. Smith? J. L. D.

Answer– “Miss” or “Mrs.” should never be used in a woman’s signature. You should sign your name: Mary Smith. – By Francine Markel, 1937

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Queen and “Good Taste” in 1939

Queen Elizabeth II’s mother had only been the Queen of England in for 3 years in 1939. “The Queen Mum” had never expected to be Queen to the British Empire, but suddenly found herself the symbolic mother to the nation at a time of turmoil, when her brother in-law abdicated the throne and her husband was crowned King. Learning the nuances and unique royal family etiquette must have been daunting for her. The former Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon reportedly turned down her husband’s first two proposals of marriage, even though at that time, he was merely the Duke of York. She knew there would be strict rules she would need to adhere to if marrying into the royal family.

Q– Dear Miss Markel- When one is wearing mourning what social restrictions should be observed? – “Bereaved”

A- Such social invitations as to dances, evening theater parties, teas, receptions and afternoon affairs should not be accepted, but it is in good taste to enjoy with a few intimate friends a matinee performance of a more or less serious play or picture, a quiet dinner or luncheon. If such diversion will elevate your spirits, it would be foolish in these modern times to deprive yourself of them. But regardless of your feelings, make a heroic effort to maintain an existence as active, as normal and with as many direct personal contacts as before your bereavement.

On Good Taste

“A widely read authority on etiquette states in her book that it is bad taste to wear elbow-length gloves turned back at the wrist. But in the news reels I noted that the Queen of England does this,” writes one of my myriad correspondents.

I have replied that the Queen of England, aside from being the chief mentor of etiquette within her own empire, is a higher authority on that subject than any textbook author could be. For years she has had to study minutely the technique of social usage. It is one of the major studies of every reigning house.–By Francine Markel, Watkins Syndicate Distributors, 1939

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

BBQ Etiquette for 1968

According to Elizabeth Post in 1968, fine “meals carefully planned, well-prepared, and attractively served are an essential element of etiquette.”

Barbecuing Out of Doors 

Fine meals carefully planned, well-prepared, and attractively served are an essential element of etiquette. Those of you who plan to give outdoor parties, barbecues or picnics this summer would do well to chock your knowledge in the following quiz, and to get some suggestions to make your menus better.

1. The best choice of meat for a barbecue is a big thick steak. True or False?

2. Only dishes that can be prepared on the grill are correct for a barbecue. True or False?

3. Lamb or beef “kabobs” should be prepared in advance. True or False?

4. Corn on the cob may be cooked on the grill as well as boiled. True or False?

5. Hamburgers and hot dogs are not considered “fancy” enough for adult picnics. True or False?

6. Anyone can easily prepare a clambake. True or False? 

7. A keg of beer is a good way of serving a beverage at a cook-out. True or False?

8. Potatoes must be cooked in the kitchen and brought out when the barbecue is ready. True or False?

The correct answers contain some hints for you:

1. False. Steak is the most "common” choice, but there are many equally good or better. Try kabobs, spareribs swordfish, lamb steak, or whole stuffed bass or bluefish for variety. 

2. False. Vegetable or potato casseroles may be cooked in the kitchen and taken out when the meat is ready —or kept warm near the edge of the grill. 

3. True. The actual cooking is quick and easy but the preparation of the ingredients takes some time. Some hostesses put the various items out in bowls and let the guests olad their own skewers. Messy, but fun for an informal group. 

4. True. But it must be well wrapped in foil or it will char. Some people leave the husks on instead, but I find this risky. 

5. False. “Doctored up” with cheese, herbs and seasoning, they can be real gourmet fare. 

6. False. Except for the variety prepared in a huge pot, a clambake is an all-day affair for the bakemaster. The pit must be dug and lined with rocks and the fire kept going in it for at least four hours. 

7. True. But always have soft drinks available, too. Coffee, cither iced or hot, is almost a “must.” 

8. False. Potatoes, like com on the cob, may be wrapped in foil and cooked in the coals or one the grill. – By Elizabeth Post in the Herald, 1968

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Typed Correspondence

While handwritten notes and letters are wonderful to send and receive, even Emily Post sent out personal letters and notes in which the bodies were typed, but signed by her. Perhaps Emily suffered from arthritis in her hands. — Image source, Etiquipedia private library

DEAR ABBY: I know that etiquette demands that ALL personal letters and notes be handwritten, and it is considered very poor manners to use a typewriter on these occasions, but this is my plight: I suffer from arthritis in the fingers of both hands and it is extremely difficult for me to use a pen. I am able, however, to use a typewriter, so I type all my letters and notes. Is it necessary for me to mention in my typewritten notes that I know better, but because of my arthritis I beg to be excused? KNOWS BETTER

 

DEAR KNOWS: I believe that regardless of what the etiquette books say, consideration, convenience and common sense should dictate behavior. I personally appreciate typewritten notes, the propriety of which never enters my head. – Abigail Van Buren, 1967

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette….the Invisible Skills

 

Using her etiquette or “invisible skills” while looking tidy at her neat desk and politely getting on with her work. Julene, as she normally looks when she transcribes dictation for her boss, Bill Keeley, Sylvania task manager.

Secretaries... Lead Your Field with Invisible Skills

There's no doubt that Julene Casamayou, secretary at Sylvania, is leading a field -at least of MEN- in the accompanying photos.

Too many secretaries fail to realize the importance of office etiquette in dress as well as manners. Happily cooperating with these gag shots were Sylvania officials, including Gary Meeker, a project manager.

This was not what Cabrillo College secretarial instructors Linda Anderson and Nora Wilson, had in mind when they chose “Secretaries, Lead Your Field” as the theme for their Secretarial Workshop next Saturday.

But the instructors and Julene, who completed the two-year Cabrillo secretarial course, agree that too many secretaries fail to realize the importance of office etiquette in dress as well as manners. 

Secretarial “Don’ts” : Julene committed the unpardonable sin of combing her hair AFTER arriving at the office and worked at an untidy desk with a cigarette hanging from her mouth…

To illustrate some of the “Don’ts,” Julene hiked up her skirt, committed the unpardonable sin of combing her hair AFTER arriving at the office, worked at an untidy desk with a cigarette hanging from her mouth and posed for leg art. Happily cooperating with the gag shots were Sylvania officials, including Gary Meeker, below, a project manager.

Julene foregoing good manners, or what people call “soft skills”now. In the 1960’s good manners were called “invisible skills.”

Keynote speaker for the Cabrillo workshop, open to all secretaries and others considering going back to work, will be Dr. Jack Blumenkrantz, associate professor of psychology at San Francisco State College. Speaking on “The Invisible Skills,” he will stress that a job description never contains the words “empathy,” “sensitivity” and “flexibility”-yet these personal attributes are of vital importance in becoming a successful secretary.

Julene leading the wrong way in the office.

In addition to a choice of workshops both in the morning and afternoon, a buffet luncheon and fashion show are planned Saturday. The complete workshop schedule appears on the next page. Registration deadline is February 21. Reservations may be made at the Cabrillo community services office. Fee is $5. – Santa Cruz Sentinel, 1968

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Women’s Banking and Check Etiquette

A “Second Debut” article from 2014 – Because older articles often get overlooked.

Who is the Bank? 

“A bank is not a building of brick, steel and concrete, with marble fixtures and metal bars with piles of money behind them. The human element is dominant there, just as in every other successful business organization.”

Before perforated checks in books were available, businessmen and women had sheets of checks like this shown above, and they needed a “check cutter” or a ruler which would double as a check cutter. This fabulous gilded age example was designed by George Shiebler

Banking Etiquette “Don'ts” for the Housewife of 1928

Hubby: “The bank phoned me today that your account with them was over-drawn.”

Wife: “That must be a mistake, as I still have a lot of checks left in my book.”

That old joke's been man's standby for years. Mere man has always been of the opinion that it was absolutely impossible for a woman to keep her bank account as it should be kept. 

Without taking the side of either party in the controversy, we're listing below several banking "don'ts" for the housewife, that if strictly adhered to will enable her to keep her account absolutely correct it all times -- and eventually win the argument.

• Don't — write checks with lead pencils.
• Don't — use counter checks if you can possibly avoid it.
• Don't — ever write a check without first filling out the stub in your check book.
• Don't — fail to keep the amount of your checks totaled, also the amount of your deposits. The difference is the amount you should have in the bank.
• Don't — write checks for an amount greater than your balance. They will not be honored and will therefore cause embarrassment to you.
• Don't — fail to make deposit slips out in your own hand when making deposits to your account. Hand the teller your book and have the teller enter the amount of your deposit. This protects both you and the bank.
• Don't — ask the bank to give you the amount of your balance over the phone. This can not be done accurately for the reason their books might show one amount and a check you have given them previously, may not have been charged your account.
• Don't — fail to call for your bank statement the first of each month.
• Don't — leave either your bank or check book laying around — keep them locked up.

As soon as you get your statement, see if the amounts check with your figures and if so, you are ready to start out the new month in balance with your bank.

The officials of the bank you do business with, will gladly assist you in any way possible, in following the suggestions given above.— From “The Southerner Magazine”, January, 1928

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia      

Etiquette for Champagne

According to the Piper-Heidsieck party consultants with Piper-Heidsieck in France, whichever glass style you choose for serving champagne, you must “make sure the glassware is properly washed. Many detergents leave an invisible film on them which may make them sparkle but which inhibits the formation of the bubbles. The invisible detergent also can give an off-smell to the wine.”– Image source, Pinterest

Be Aware of Etiquette in Serving Champagne

Whether it's a private wedding party dinner for 10 or a catered reception for hundreds, the gathering is effervescent when champagne is one of the featured attractions.

Over the centuries, certain rules of "champagne etiquette" have evolved, according to party consultants with Piper-Heidsieck, a family-owned firm in Reims, France, which has been making the bubbly liquid for more than 200 years.

There is general agreement that the best glassware is tulip or flute-shaped, which allows the bubbles to rise the length of the glass, adding to the visual appeal as well as the length of time the bubbles last. Other glass shapes just dissipate the bubbles.

Other suggestions include:`

✓ Make sure the glassware is properly washed. Many detergents leave an invisible film on them which may make them sparkle but which inhibits the formation of the bubbles. The invisible detergent also can give an off-smell to the wine.

✓ Chill champagne before opening it. Two hours in the refrigerator should bring it down to the proper temperature. If you have less time, put the bottle in an ice bucket half filled with ice and half with water. Every few minutes rotate the bottle in the ice water.

✓ Open the bottle by pulling the bottle away from the cork. After removing the foil and metal cap- sule, hold the cork firmly in one hand, and with the other firmly grasp the bottle. Twist it slowly and surely away from the cork. Chilling the wine and opening the bottle properly should keep the cork from ex- ploding out of the bottle.

✓ Point the bottle away from people when opening it. (And away from yourself, too.)

✓ Show people the label when serving champagne. Properly held, with the thumb in the "punt" or in- dented portion at the bottom of the bottle, the bottle should be turned so that those interested may see.– From The Associated Press, Feb 1987

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Kitchen Appliance Aids in Etiquette

Etiquette experts say it’s rude to wash dishes while guests are still present. Let the machine do the work for you.

Electric Dishwasher Aid to Etiquette

Etiquette experts say it’s rude to wash dishes while guests are still present. Clear the table, scrape and stack the dishes if you must, but don't wash them until guests have left, even if the sight of dirty pots and pans, dishes and glassware piled in the kitchen is almost unbearable.

Party manners can be remodeled, along with the kitchen, if an automatic electric dishwasher is installed. It will be the hostess’ answer to the dinner guest dilemma. She can put the pots and pans in the dishwasher before sitting down at the table. They'll be done automatically during dinner, ready to be put away so dinner dishes can go right from the table into the dishwasher.– National City– Star News, 1960

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Home of US Presidents

The second in rank working for George Washington was Col. David Humphreys, who had been one of General Washington’s aides during the Revolution. He acted as Chamberlain, or Master of Ceremonies and established the rules of etiquette at the first United States Presidential mansion, and what would eventually become the White House in Washington D.C.– Above, a public domain image of Col. David Humphreys.

Bypaths of History

How does the cost of the secretarial staff of the incumbent of the White House compare with that of President Washington? That administrative functions and the consequent costs at present have vastly increased over, what they were when the first President carried on his executive functions, is illustrated in a comparative cost for their secretarial work. According to data received from the recent issue of the World Almanac, the White House staff, directly rendering service to the President, consists of seven persons, whose combined annual salaries total $57,200. 

It is interesting to note that two of these secretaries each receive salaries of $10,000. per year, the same as that received by the United States senators. The private secretary to the president, Grace L. Tully of New York, receives $5600. annually, and this is the lowest salary given to any of the seven personal attendants upon the President. In contrast to this, it is interesting to note the salaries paid to the five secretaries of President Washington, and also their duties. All five of these secretaries lived in the president's house and received their board at his personal expense.

The first and Chief Secretary was Tobias Lear, a Harvard graduate, who had been secured in 1786 as a tutor to the children of the financial end of the household, attended to correspondence, kept the books, and accompanied Mrs. Washington and the children. He managed on their shopping tours. He was paid $800 a year. The second in rank was Col. David Humphreys, who had been one of General Washington’s aides during the Revolution. He acted as Chamberlain, or Master of Ceremonies and established the rules of etiquette at the mansion. He received $600. per year. Maj. William Jackson, the bodyguard, always attended Washington wherever he went. He received $500. annually. Robert Lewis, a nephew, and Thomas Nelson, a son of a Virginia governor, were the two personal Social Secretaries. They each received $300. per year. – Guy S Allison San Pedro News Pilot, March 1945

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Spotlight on Bernadette Petrotta

Meet our Contributor in the Spotlight for August, Bernadette M. Petrotta, of “The Polite Society of Etiquette.” An author of several books on etiquette and the art of afternoon tea, Bernadette founded The Polite Society School of Etiquette in Southern California, after a lifelong affection for etiquette and social graces led her to attending a 9 course etiquette dinner seminar she had read about in Victoria Magazine in the mid-1990’s. Her love and vast knowledge of  the social history of tea, tea rooms, and the art of hosting an afternoon tea, has made her a sought after speaker on tea throughout the Pacific Northwest, where she has resided for the past 14 years.

Below are links to some of Bernadette’s contributions to Etiquipedia:

• Basic Dinner Seating Etiquette
• Tea Etiquette and the Pinky Debate
• Dinner Party Etiquette
• Both Sugar and Slavery Shunned

The following is a Q. & A. with Bernadette:

1. What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?

I have always been interested in everything beautiful. Gracious manners, etiquette, the pleasures of a relaxed afternoon tea and the arts. When I was young, I lived next door to my Aunt Margaret who was the epitome of grace. She set a beautiful table every day and dressed impeccably. Her home was organized, clean, and nothing was out of place. Each time I visited her, she made us a pot of tea and we shared stories and everyday life experiences. I was also very interested in the graceful world of ballet and every year I purchased season tickets to the American Ballet Theatre. One afternoon as I was reading Victoria Magazine (I’m an avid Victoria reader!), I read about a nine course dining etiquette seminar at the home of Maura Graber in the mid-1990’s, I immediately made a reservation and enjoyed all of the aspects of dining. I thought that teaching etiquette would be something I would really enjoy, so I began my training with her.

Speaking on my favorite subject, afternoon tea. I enjoy making my own organic, low sugar scones to enjoy with my favorite teas.

2. Why did you start when you did?

After receiving my degree and working in an administrative position with the City of Los Angeles, I decided to take some time off to raise my son. I also wanted my son to grow up with an appreciation for good manners and etiquette, and the importance of social graces in today’s world. It seemed like a good fit for my life at that time. I eventually went back to work but continued to teach etiquette.

Meeting “Tea Sage,” and author, Norwood Pratt and his wife, along with Julie Rosanoff of the Perennial Tea Room, when I was a guest speaker at the Northwest Tea Festival in Washington, back in 2011. 

3. What do you enjoy teaching the most regarding Etiquette?

I love all of it, really, but I particularly enjoy teaching on the pleasure and art of afternoon tea. It became an integral part of my life many years ago, and I have enjoyed tea rooms around the world. Exploring new tea rooms is one of my favorite things to do. It was an honor to be featured in Tea Time Magazine a few years ago, as I have been a faithful reader for so long.

Teaching how to set up a Tea Table Buffet and Tea Tray etiquette to a gracious audience in Seattle.

4. What do you find rewarding about teaching Etiquette?

I find it rewarding to change peoples’ perspectives on etiquette and manners. People have the idea that good manners mean something stuffy or stiff, when living a well-mannered and etiquette filled life actually offers one a structure and way of doing things that really can help with daily stress. To quote the former First Lady, Barbara Bush, "Protocol is not there to dictate to you. It is there to help you."

Bernadette’s books are available on Amazon. This revised book is Volume V, The Art of Timeless Étiquette, Graceful Dining Manners, & Afternoon Tea is the Revised Edition. It features, “Social Graces, Étiquette History, Introduction Methods, Entertaining Guidelines, Correspondence Protocol, History of Tableware, Dining out Manners, American and Continental Style Dining, Appropriate Dress Attire, Personal Care and Home Management, History of Tea, Types of Tea, Tea Pairings and Tastings, Afternoon Tea in England, Tea Food Dining Instructions, and Formalities for Preparing a “Proper” Afternoon Tea. This revised edition is an updated compilation of Volume I, Volume II, and Volume IV with additional étiquette information and home management guidelines.”

5. What types of classes do you offer?

I offer In-Person and Online Courses for adults and young people. I offer Beginning, Advanced, Business, and Tea Étiquette Courses. I also offer restaurant and hospitality staff training.

Meet Emma the Etiquette Cat… Emma is Bernadette’s Ragdoll cat and though adorable and quite lovable, she can get into trouble around the house. This is Bernadette’s book for young children. It is also available on Amazon.

6. What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?

I offer classes to all ages, but you most enjoy teaching and working most with adults, as I can relate to them on a common ground. I think a lot of adults are like me, and miss the more pleasant days of their youth. Thirty to 40 years ago, the world seemed much more polite and well-mannered. Airports weren’t filled with people in their pjs. Flights weren’t regularly delayed due to poor behavior by passengers. I think it’s why period dramas like “Downton Abbey” gained such popularity. When I was growing up, people watched their language in and politics didn’t seem so divisive. People dressed more conservatively when going out and being seen in public. I would love to see the world become a more polite place to live for my son, my daughter-in-law and my dear little grandson. I love being a new grandmother and hope my grandson understands and appreciates the importance of manners and etiquette as he grows up.

7. Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading most?

I don’t have any particular favorites. I love reading etiquette books from all over and I enjoy many different authors, though I do have a lot of the books from older authorities in my bookshelf collection for reference.

If you’s like to contact Bernadette, she can be reached through her website Polite Society School of Étiquette and directly via email at BMP@PoliteSocietySchool.com

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia