Who Are the Well-Bred?

On the left, the Countess Olenska in Edith Wharton’s, “The Age of Innocence,” was not considered well-bred. On the other hand, her cousin May Welland, was considered very well-bred. – Image source, Pinterest

Habits That Denote the Well–Bred

Forming the Right Sort of Habits: 

Montaigne said that “Habit is second nature” and the truth of it has never been questioned. It is largely by the habits we form as we go through life that we are judged by our fellow men. These denote among other things our standing in the world where courtesy and good manners prevail and by them we shall rise or fall in the estimation of those with whom we come in contact.

In an office, where one spends so great a part of his life, there are little acts daily performed that will prove at once one's good-breeding. The first of these is self- control; the habit of holding in check, without apparent effort, a flash of temper, an inclination to sulk over a possible slight, a desire to “get even” for some affront, or an impulse to weep or to “talk back” if one’s work is criticized. 

Poise, the ability to retain one’s mental equilibrium, and the power to meet emergencies as they arise without loss of dignity and without an over-exhibition of feeling are hallmarks of good-breeding. This is difficult sometimes for one who is naturally of a high-strung and independent disposition but it can be cultivated. — From “Office Etiquette for Business Women,” by Ida White Parker, 1924

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