Good Manners and Good Breeding

Pictured from 1912, a young Georgia Lacey. In 5 years, she would, her parents hoped, be a well-mannered, well-bred, young lady… full of hopes and dreams for her future.

Best of Manners Are Indispensable in One Who Wishes to Appear Well-Bred

If the need of good manners evident in mankind, how still more evident is it of womankind. Granted that truthfulness, gracefulness, considerateness, unselfishness are essential to the breeding of a true gentleman, how infinitely essential must they be to the breeding of a true lady! That her tact should be even readier, her sympathies even more tender, her instincts even finer than those of the man, seems only fit and natural. 

In her, all the minor observances of etiquette are absolutely indispensable. She must be even more upon her guard than a man in all those niceties of speech, look and manner, which are the especial and indispensable credentials of good breeding. Every little drawing room ceremonial, all the laws of precedence, the whole etiquette of hospitality must be familiar to her. And even in these points, artificial though they be, her best guide, after all, is that kindness of heart which gives honor where honor is due, and which is ever anxious to spare the feelings and prejudices of others.

Every mistress of a house, be it remembered, is a minor sovereign upon whose bounty the little court depends. She must take especial care that her servants are capable, well trained and reliable, and that her domestic arrangements are carried on as noiselessly and easily as if by machinery. In a well ordered household, the machinery is always in order, and always works out of sight. No well bred woman talks of her servants, of her dinner arrangements, or of the affairs of her nursery. One feels these matters to be under her surveillance, and that fact alone is guarantee of their good management. 

The amusements and comforts of her guests are provided for without discussion or comment; and whatever goes wrong is studiously withheld from the conversation of the drawing room. And let no lady, however, young, however beautiful, however gifted, for one moment imagine that the management of her house can be neglected with impunity. If she is rich enough to provide an efficient housekeeper, well and good; but even so, the final responsibility still rests upon her, and her alone. No tastes, no pleasures, must stand in the way of this important duty, and if even that duty should at first seem irksome the fulfillment of it is sure to bring its own reward. – The Morning Union, 1917

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia