Manners of the Ill Bred

Beware the little foxes which may creep in and destroy the vines of good manners.

Needless to Say!

THE socially impossible person may have spent many hours and many dollars in dressing with elaborate care, but a breach of etiquette will mark him at once as an undesirable. The general marks of being ill bred all have to do with violation of the laws of cleanliness or of honor. Chief among them are:

Theft, even of trifles such as five-cent pencils and paper.

Telling dirty stories.

Cheating.

Bearing false witness against one's neighbor.

Drinking.

Cheap familiarities.

Unpardonable performances which stamp one as unclean are:

Blowing one's nose without a handkerchief. Entering a toilet with another person.

Wearing soiled underclothing and stockings. Picking one's nose.

Cleaning one's ears in public.

Odors of perspiration.

Dirty teeth.

Dirty nails.

Wash bowls and lavatories, both at home and in public places, should be looked upon as a challenge to one's consideration for others and to one's regard for cleanliness. No wash bowl should be left splashed and spattered with soapy or dirty water. The plug should be pulled out and the waste water allowed to flow out completely. Then fresh water should be turned in, to rinse out the bowl.

No one must ever comb his or her hair over any wash bowl. All the signs put up in wash rooms of railroad stations and stores are there because careless people have ignored the rights of others in the matter of public health and cleanliness.

Every toilet must be flushed immediately after use. Two persons must never enter a public toilet booth together; and in private homes, two persons must not enter or be in the same bathroom or lavatory at the same time.

Never leave a toilet room without having thoroughly washed one's hands. If no individual towels are provided, the hands may be dried by shaking them briskly in the air and massaging them together.

Before leaving a toilet room or bath, be very sure that your clothes are completely arranged and adjusted. Twisting and pulling and straightening out one's clothes before strangers, or even friends, stamps one as shiftless and coarse-grained.

Never take off a ring and lay it down to wash your hands. Half the rings which have been lost have gone the way of the wash bowl. Save on plumbers' or detectives' bills, simply by holding fast to that which is yours.

In sleeping cars, persons going to and from the dressing room are expected to be completely covered either with their ordinary clothing or with dressing gown and slippers. At home and at boarding school, nothing less is good form (whether you believe the coast is clear or not). For the sake of the timid or even moderately reticent soul one meets on the way, put on slippers and bathrobe to travel to and from the bathroom.

At bathing beaches, whether there are rules or not, one should be careful to leave the bath house fully dressed in his or her bathing suit. No one may dress or undress on the beach, even in parked cars. A coat should be worn over the bathing suit if the path from the bath house to the beach is through a street. It is never good form to lie around the beach in a bathing costume when one does not expect to enter the water. No boy should sprawl on the sand with his head in a girl's lap or with his arms wrapped around her, or vice versa. Anything which renders the girl conspicuous must be avoided.

If lunches are eaten at the beach, neither papers nor food should be scattered about the beach.

Other obvious marks of being ill-bred are:

Mannerisms.

Overdressing.

A loud voice or an unpleasant one.

Failure to be courteous to older people.

Questioning the fairness of an award.

Staring people out of countenance.

Rudeness to servants.

Criticism of food.

Calling across the room or across the street.

Putting one's hand on another person. This includes tickling, nudging, patting, even picking off imaginary threads and straightening the hair or the costume of another.

Talking to one of two persons and ignoring the other.

Beware the little foxes which may creep in and destroy the vines of good manners. Actions which seem slight and harmless to the person who perpetrates them, but which offend the beholder are:

Manicuring in public.

Combing hair in public.

Powdering one's nose in public.

Picking one's teeth in public.

Putting fingers in one's nose or ears.

Spitting.

Coughing without covering the mouth.

Putting one's hand over one's mouth when talking, laughing or eating.

Kissing on the street or in public places.

Loud talking.

Walking in front of people.

Watching table games without permission and discussing the play.

These lists, intended to give a bird's eye view of bad manners, are anything except short-but they could be longer. If you will write to the publishers of this book, Doubleday, Page and Company, Garden City, New York, and tell them of an important omission which it would be of real service to readers of this book to know, your suggestion will be published in the next edition of “Etiquette Jr.” — By Mary E. Clark and Margery Closey Quigley, 1939

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