After Dinner Coffee Etiquette

The custom of serving coffee in the drawing room or living room after dinner is one that we have borrowed from France, and it is such a simple ceremony to perform that it is sure to become more usual among us. At ceremonious dinners it is still customary among some persons for the men to remain at the table after the women have withdrawn. 

After Dinner Coffee in Favor

“Coffee, which makes the politican wise, And see through all things with his half-shut eyes.” – Pope

The custom of serving coffee in the drawing room or living room after dinner is one that we have borrowed from France, and it is such a simple ceremony to perform that it is sure to become more usual among us. At ceremonious dinners it is still customary among some persons for the men to remain at the table after the women have withdrawn. Then coffee is served in the drawing room to the women, and to the men—usually with cigars and liquors —in the dining room. Now it is quite plain to see that this custom is not one that will ever be adopted in this country in any great number of families. 

Where men neither smoke nor drink liquor it would be absurd. Moreover, many women dislike the custom, as it seems to imply that the men of the party will enjoy talking better when they are not present. At any rate, it would never be popular at the small family dinner. However, the custom of serving coffee in the drawing room is one that could be adopted in every household. Where one man is kept it is a convenience, as lingering at the table is then not a temptation and the servant does not have to wait till after coffee has been drunk leisurely before clearing the table. 

Even in the household where no servant is kept, it has its advantages. One clever housewife I know, who dexterously puts the dinner dishes away in a large, closed tin box, to be washed in the morning, so she may enjoy after dinner leisurely with her husband. She hastily cleans the table and with the assistance of her little daughter, starts the coffee immediately after the family has risen from the table, and then, within five minutes, is ready for coffee in the drawing room, with as much appearance of leisure as the woman who has five servants. 

The coffee service on a tray should be placed on a convenient table, where the mistress of the house should pour it. Then a servant, or preferably in small establishments, a daughter of the house, should hand around the cups. She should take one cup and saucer in the left hand and the sugar the the right. Most persons do not use cream in after dinner coffee—in fact, it is not the conventional thing to do—so it is not part of the usual after dinner coffee service. 

Where it is served, a little combination sugar and cream set may be passed, or the sugar dish and cream pitcher placed on a tray may be held in the right hand it is customary to take the coffee slowly, though it should never be scooped up. The spoon is to use merely to stir the sugar and then to test the coffee —to see whether it is of the right temperature for drinking. – By Mary Marshall Duffee in the Morning Union, 1917

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