Hosting Thanksgiving – 12 Top Tips

Holidays bring unexpected surprises. If someone shows up with an “extra guest” or new boyfriend in tow, welcome the stranger politely. Someone else’s rudeness is no excuse for you to drop your good manners. People without family, or with fractured families, are especially vulnerable to depression. Expect the unexpected and you’ll find that the day or evening will run much more smoothly.

  Twelve Tips for Hosting a Memorable Thanksgiving  

1. Make sure your home is clean and welcoming to guests, especially for those who have traveled a long distance. Is the powder room or bathroom clean and well stocked? Is there plenty of seating for everyone? Have you briefed your guests on parking in your neighborhood or parking structure? Imagine being someone invited to you place for Thanksgiving. Mentally walk yourself through every step in getting there, your arrival and being in your home as if it were a stranger’s home. Is there something you haven’t thought of that needs to be considered beforehand in directions or discussions with your guests
2. Holidays bring unexpected surprises. If someone shows up with an “extra guest” or new boyfriend in tow, welcome the stranger politely. Someone else’s rudeness is no excuse for you to drop your good manners. People without family, or with fractured families, are especially vulnerable to depression. Expect the unexpected and you’ll find that the day or evening will run much more smoothly.
3. If you ask guests to “bring a dish,” be specific. Asking for “a salad” can mean anything from a bowl of various fruit chunks, to coleslaw, to potato salad, a bowl of greens, etc…
4. If you aren’t in need of kitchen help or don’t desire help, have a list of easy tasks ready for guests who want to feel helpful. Myself? I’m always asked to set the table or make certain it is set properly. 
5. Be thoughtful and have a set seating arrangement. Place cards are easy to make. Seat anyone with mobility issues at either ends of tables or where a walker or cane can be placed within easy reach.
6. Rethink the “Kids Table.” After overhearing kids arguing with parents over their table one year, I enlisted the help of my own teen and pre-teen in setting up the “No Adults Allowed” table in the same spot. We had etiquette class bins in my car, so we used little dollar store toys to make ‘place cards’, added fun, curly straws to the beverage glasses, small treats and place mats that could be drawn on with crayons and gel pens. It was a big hit! We actually had to add 2 extra chairs for the teens who wanted to join the kids.
7. Keep your cellphone nearby for guests running late or having car trouble.
8. Before the big day, enlist a trusted family member or friend to help with guests who are known to over indulge in alcohol or other substances, who like to engage in loud, political discourse, and even those whose memories are fading or are hearing impaired. 
9. Accept all host or hostess gifts or food gracefully, with a smile, and a “Thank you for your thoughtfulness!”
10. Keep politics and other hot topics out of your conversation. Regardless of your passions or opinions, seasonal get-togethers are not the time for division, especially in your own home.
11. Prepare for guests who wish to take leftovers home with them. Have containers ready.
12. Don’t expect everyone to be as enthusiastic in helping with the clean up after the meal as they were when the meal was being prepared. Visiting with and enjoying your guests is important. Some things can wait for the next morning.

Contributor Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, since 1990, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years. Along with teaching and giving talks on old flatware, she is an etiquette consultant for the HBO – Julian Fellowes’ series, “The Gilded Age”

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia