Proper Use of the Finger Bowl

For less formal use, the finger bowl is set up on a doily on the dessert plate and is removed with its doily and set at one side to wait until needed. It is bad form to pass a finger bowl without a plate and doily underneath it. The latter should never be omitted, though it is sometimes done ignorantly.

We have all laughed at the story of the country guest who drank from his finger bowl, and his hostess, to put him at ease, followed suit. It would scarcely seem possible in these days for such a mistake to occur, but many well bred people are uncertain as to finger bowl etiquette. Finger bowls are now used at every meal. At breakfast, they are sometimes on the table with the fruit plates and removed with the doily to the side. In some families they are only used with the fruit course; and in others, fresh ones are passed at the close of the meal, after the breakfast plate is removed. 

For lunch or dinner, the finger bowl is passed at the close of the meal; though occasionally it is used if grape-fruit in the rinds is a first course. And in formal families, where servants are trained never to have a vacant space in front of the guest, except just before the dessert course, when the table is brushed, a finger bowl on its plate is set down in front of each guest at the other hand. For less formal use, the finger bowl is set up on a doily on the dessert plate and is removed with its doily and set at one side to wait until needed. It is bad form to pass a finger bowl without a plate and doily underneath it. The latter should never be omitted, though it is sometimes done ignorantly.


A finger bowl doily may be as plain or as elaborate as the taste of the hostess and her pocketbook dictate. For ordinary use, those of fine linen or damask, embroidered with a simple scallop and with the initials of the hostess at one side, are very nice. The popular crocheted doilies are also liked for steady wear, or those in Madeira embroidery. Sheer lace doilies, or heavier ones of fine Cluny, Russian lace, or combinations of filet and eyelet embroidery on fine linen, are in best taste.


When the finger bowl is passed by itself, it is allowed to remain on the doily on the plate; when it is passed on the dessert plate, the bowl and doily are removed together. A finger bowl doily should about cover the center of the plate and must be spotless and well laundered. The fingers should never be wiped on it. A finger bowl is filled with clear, cold water, to a little more than a third of its depth. It can have a slice of lemon in it, a rose geranium, or other scented green leaf. Lemon verbena is delightful in season. Occasionally, a single flower of those used in the table decorations, floats in the finger bowl. Nasturtium blossoms are especially effective. 

If you have not enough finger bowls to go around, better do without them. One bowl shared by two persons is absolutely impermissible. Do not feel it necessary to take a bath with your finger bowl. Dipping the tips of the fingers in the water or rubbing them over the scented leaf, should be all that is needed for a dainty eater. Some well bred persons run their moistened fingers over their lips, but its propriety is a mooted question. Dry the fingers on the napkin unobtrusively. — The New York Times, May, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia