Etiquette of Weddings

A modern wedding is one of the most intricate and exhausting of social customs. Young men and women of our better classes are now forced to devote a large part of their lives to acting as brides, grooms, ushers and bridesmaids at various elaborate nuptials.

“Matrimony,” says Homer, the poet, “is a holy estate and not lightly to be entered into.” The “old Roman” is right. A modern wedding is one of the most intricate and exhausting of social customs. Young men and women of our better classes are now forced to devote a large part of their lives to acting as brides, grooms, ushers and bridesmaids at various elaborate nuptials. Weeks are generally required in preparation for an up-to-date wedding. Months are necessary in recovering from such an affair.

It was not “always thus.” Time was when the wedding was a comparatively simple affair. H. G. Wells of England points out in his able, “Outline of History,” there is no evidence of any particular ceremony conjunctive with the marriage of a “man and maid.” Even with the advent of Neolithic men, a wedding seems to have been consummated by the rather simple process of having the bridegroom “pop” the bride over the head with a plain, un-ornamented stone ax. There were no ushers and no bridegrooms in those days. Each age has added its particular bit of ritual until today… it is an artistic and solemn ceremonial.– Los Angeles Herald, 1922

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Banknotes in Japan

In Japan, there are books on etiquette for children, where there is always a chapter or even a separate book that talks about banknotes, who is depicted on them, and how to correctly understand and manage something. Moreover, for example, in Japan, according to tradition, children are given envelopes with money - “otoshidama” - on New Year’s Day. 

The topic of money and financial status is not directly a topic of etiquette. It is not customary to develop your own well-being, much less be interested in the well-being of other people. And just as we live in a world where paper bills are still used, I think it is important to know and have small talk on this topic.  

For example, in Japan there are books on etiquette for children, where there is always a chapter or even a separate book that talks about banknotes, who is depicted on them, and how to correctly understand and manage something. Moreover, for example, in Japan, according to tradition, children are given envelopes with money - “otoshidama” - on New Year’s Day. 

There are rules on how to put money in envelopes and how to give them. This suggests that traditions are preserved in this way, and children can learn to manage money from childhood. Perhaps this is why there are a large number of millionaires living in Japan.

Each country has its own traditions about who and what is depicted on banknotes. Since I live in Japan, I want to tell you that new banknotes will be issued this year, namely on July 3, 2024. This was announced on December 12, 2023 by the Ministry of Finance and the Bank of Japan. I would like to note that this is the first update of banknotes in 20 years since 2004. 

In Japan, there is a tradition of depicting famous people; it so happens that on banknotes we see people from four main areas of life: representatives of education, business, medicine and art. The new 10,000 yen note features Shibusawa Eiichi, known as the "father of Japanese capitalism." Currently, this banknote depicts the writer, translator and philosopher, founder of Keio University, the first president of Tokyo Academy - Fukuzawa Yukichi. His portrait graced the 10,000 yen bill in 1984 and remains on the 2004 banknote, so the face on this banknote will change for the first time in 40 years.

On the 5,000 yen note, instead of Higuchi Ichiyo, the Meiji era writer (1868-1912), the portrait of Tsuda Umeko, who contributed to the development of women's education, will be used. It is recently that the situation of women has been changing. Beautiful representatives of Japan occupy high positions in various fields of activity. On the 1000 yen banknote, Noguchi Hideyo, a bacteriologist and eminent physician, will be replaced by Kitasato Shibasaburo - known as the "father of modern medicine" in Japan.

The reverse side of the bills has also been changed. So on the back of 10,000 yen there will be an image of the Tokyo station building, on the 5,000 yen note there will be wisteria flowers, and on the 1,000 yen note there will be the famous “Great Wave off Kanagawa” by the Japanese artist of the Edo period Katsushika Hokusai. This work influenced foreign artists and modern designers and jewelers.

I would also like to note that for the first time in the world, the banknotes will use hologram technology, which allows you to see portraits in three dimensions when viewed from different angles. As part of efforts to create a barrier-free environment, the bills have markings for tactile recognition of the denomination, and the numbers on the front side themselves are larger than on bills currently in use. 

From the moment the new banknotes are released, they will be available at cash desks of financial institutions and automated teller machines (ATMs). Banknotes currently in circulation can continue to be used. This is how you can pick up a banknote and learn the history of the country. In Japan, they treat everything with care, especially banknotes. For me, as an expert in the field of etiquette, the topic of banknotes from the point of view of historical facts and prominent people of Japan is both a good topic for small talk and a wonderful topic for small talk.

Meet Elena Gavrilina-Fujiyama, our newest contributor to Etiquipedia. Elena is a specialist in Japanese protocol and etiquette, and European social etiquette. The founder of the project Etiquette748, Elena is also a member of the National Association Specialist of Protocol. She authored the best-selling book “Japanese Etiquette: Ancient Traditions and Modern Rules” after living in Japan for over 20 years.

 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Spotlight on Candace Smith

 

As Etiquipedia’s most prolific contributor, Candace Smith is so valued by us for her contributions to this site, we are delighted to focus on her for our Contributor Spotlight during the month of August.

Contributor, Candace Smith is a retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, who for the last dozen years has been teaching university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, Candace discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations and she sought out lessons in etiquette to help her smoothly fit in with everyone – from world leaders to struggling university students.

 

What was the impetus for starting her Etiquette business?

A life-changing event was the impetus for Candace Smith’s interest in teaching and writing about etiquette. When her husband was awarded a Nobel prize in 2002, Candace found herself traveling the world with him and dining at some very formal social gatherings. In the years that followed, she said that she gradually became aware of how uncomfortable she was in many of these social situations.  

Awakening to a long-felt desire to know appropriate social graces that would put her at ease and help her feel ≥confident in social situations, Candace decided to attend etiquette and protocol certification classes, and these kicked off a deep immersion into the study of the importance of etiquette and its practical application to many of the problems of life. 

By 2012, after her first classes in etiquette and protocol course work, Candace and her husband attended a formal event in Scotland. The experience was like night and day from the others, she says. She noted a markedly increased comfort level in dining and socializing skills and she truly enjoyed the occasion. It was her confirmation that a knowledge and training in social skills do matter. She realized then and there that she had a desire to help others gain the confidence and poise so vital to feeling comfortable in not only social, but professional, settings. 

Published weekly, her Etiquette Blog now features over 475 etiquette articles. They are filled with straightforward considerations and solutions aimed to address social and workplace challenges of not only daily, but professional life. We are thrilled and thankful that she allows Etiquipedia to repost so many of them.

 

Below are links to a small amount of Candace Smith’s popular articles on etiquette which you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

• Etiquette and Adam Smith
• The Art of Modern Introductions
• Respect and Etiquette
• Etiquette and Confidentiality
• Etiquette and Self-Awareness
• Defining “Modern Manners”
• Etiquette and Control
• Etiquette and Modesty
• Confusing Etiquette with “Outclassing” Others
• Etiquette and the Grief of Others
• Elements of Great First Impressions

What do you enjoy teaching the most regarding Etiquette?

What is often thrilling is that participants in my hands-on seminars report being very pleased that their comfort and confidence levels have increased in such a short time. Fears are reduced through their new knowledge. I enjoy thinking of my projects and services as public goods.

What do you find rewarding about teaching Etiquette?

I am always learning, too. Questions posed to me, or that come to mind and the need to research them, lead me on to new appreciations. The concept of civility, which interrelates with etiquette and fine manners has grown in mind and practice. It is through my engagement with others that spur ideas for my blog articles. I am writing a book, “Etiquette in the Business of Life Day by Day,” that I hope will offer inspiration each day by engaging readers in civility appreciation through practicing etiquette a little each day. 

What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?

I enjoy adult groups as they aren’t forced into taking the class or in need of being persuaded.

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading?

Letitia Baldrige, Judith Martin, Amy Vanderbilt, – Candace’s favorite quote of Amy’s is, “I am a journalist in the field of etiquette.” And Emily Post.

If you would like to reach Candace, you can get in touch with her at her website, Candace Smith Etiquette

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia