A new civic ditty: Mind your manners this summer
Never mind massive traffic jams, the threat of terrorism, or the boycott by the Soviet team. The real foul ups in the XXIIIrd Olympiad coming to Los Angeles this summer could stem from much more harrowing breaches of international relations like going to a party for one of the Arabian teams and showing the bottom of your shoes to the host. No kidding. It's considered highly improper in some Middle Eastern countries to bare your sole like that at a social function. Think about it. How would you like your Hush Puppies to be the cause of the next oil embargo? The point here is that the Olympics is not just a spectacle of athletics, but a grand social occasion where parties will abound and men and women of many different cultures will be rubbing bended elbows. It's going to be important for hosts of these parties to appreciate cultural differences. When it comes to Olympic etiquette, they'd better be on their toes. One company that is trying to help Southern California's Olympic hosts this summer in that area
is Communication Development Associates of Century City. Judi Kaufman, president, has been offering a course for the past 18 months that was originally designed simply to help American businessmen recapture the lost art of proper etiquette, whether they are entertaining foreign or domestic guests. But these days Kaufman says her company is seeing an increase in interest from businesses that will be entertaining visitors here for the Olympic Games. "The Olympics is a time when we'll be hosting an international guest list in the city, and we need to be prepared to give people instructions on the street (or other help), and not be ugly Americans," Kaufman said in a phone interview.
Etiquette is something that Americans let slide over the last 20 years, Kaufman says. The rule then was "do your own thing," but she now believes "the pendulum has swung back toward manners." Her course, entitled, "Good Taste is Good Business," covers such protocol issues as the guest list, making introductions, the art of conversation, table manners, "being remembered" (sending thank you notes and such), making other people feel important, and letting food be a catalyst for conversation. "It's really breaking ice by breaking bread," she said.
All well and good, but how does this translate into tips for party hosts who will be entertaining guests from many different countries? Let's say you want to exchange gifts with your foreign friends, a common thing to do. Kaufman urges you to remember that Europeans like to exchange gifts "only with really good friends. If Americans tried to give them too many gifts, it might be interpreted as a faux pas." But Japanese are avid gift givers, she says. "But it's important to let the Japanese person feel that his gift is slightly better than yours," she said. "In Arab countries, the gifts are almost ostentatious. They're very generous with gift giving. They almost feel it gains respect." Where do we sign for one of those?
All well and good, but how does this translate into tips for party hosts who will be entertaining guests from many different countries? Let's say you want to exchange gifts with your foreign friends, a common thing to do. Kaufman urges you to remember that Europeans like to exchange gifts "only with really good friends. If Americans tried to give them too many gifts, it might be interpreted as a faux pas." But Japanese are avid gift givers, she says. "But it's important to let the Japanese person feel that his gift is slightly better than yours," she said. "In Arab countries, the gifts are almost ostentatious. They're very generous with gift giving. They almost feel it gains respect." Where do we sign for one of those?
Feeding visiting guests can be tricky at times too. With the Japanese, Kaufman says you should remember they are just as uncomfortable using forks, knives and spoons as we are using chopsticks. She suggests preparing dinners of just "fork food." In addition, don't think you should provide a menu that would mirror the kind of cuisine the guest would have in his own country. Kaufman says you should serve "All American" fare like hamburgers and apple pie. Keep that same strategy in mind in your gift giving. Something that is peculiarly Californian might be a real treat for visitors. (Just make sure the hot tub will fit in their carry on luggage.) "As a general rule, people are coming here to see what we do," she said.
One area in which you should make some concessions to the cultural differences, however, is in conversation. If you're talking with someone from Japan where behavior is perhaps more reserved than in other countries, a gregarious host may need to "pull back" some on his own style. "You kind of mold your behavior slightly, not completely," Kaufman said. Then there are those warnings that only take common sense. Let's say you happen to be playing host to Soviet officials; not likely since they say they're not going to come, but just pretend. You should probably stay away from such topics as politics and religion. "I would keep things in a light vein," Kaufman said.
And whatever the country, try to show some interest in that nation's history. "It's a very good idea," she said. "These people will be ambassadors of good will." And what if you don't know much about the history of the country? "When in doubt, remember, be more reserved and ask a lot of questions," she said. Since the Olympics Is the ultimate athletic event every four years, Kaufman recommends that party hosts read the sports page every day. Keep up with how countries are doing, even if their teams haven't produced many medals. "To avoid something says more about ignorance
and rudeness," Kaufman said. "You better know about the athletes and play up their strengths." And if you're going to be introducing your guests to each other, it would serve you well to spend 15 to 20 minutes before the party practicing the pronunciation of those foreign names, Kaufman said. The point is, Kaufman says, that we are all hosts "every single one of us," so we should do what we can to make the best impression. And that doesn't mean being gracious just when you're at a beautifully catered party at somebody's mansion.
You can leave a good impression on visitors, for instance, when you get into the middle of those traffic jams that are predicted for L.A.'s freeways during the games. "We're all going to have to show the greatest patience," Kaufman said. "If we act like a typical L.A. driver and come out with four-letter words, that doesn't show our best side." If you're off the street and encounter a foreign visitor on a sidewalk who looks like he needs help, Kaufman says, "First of all, be anxious to help in any way you can.
"If you don't know the answer, you might tell them where they can get help. Be clear and quick, but polite. Talk slowly. Smile! If they don't understand the language, they certainly will understand a smile and pointing." It may sound old fashioned, Kaufman said, but just remember to treat people the way you'd like to be treated if you were visiting their country. "The whole Golden Rule can work wonders for you," she said. – By Dennis Kelly, Sun Staff Writer, San Bernardino Sun, 1984
and rudeness," Kaufman said. "You better know about the athletes and play up their strengths." And if you're going to be introducing your guests to each other, it would serve you well to spend 15 to 20 minutes before the party practicing the pronunciation of those foreign names, Kaufman said. The point is, Kaufman says, that we are all hosts "every single one of us," so we should do what we can to make the best impression. And that doesn't mean being gracious just when you're at a beautifully catered party at somebody's mansion.
You can leave a good impression on visitors, for instance, when you get into the middle of those traffic jams that are predicted for L.A.'s freeways during the games. "We're all going to have to show the greatest patience," Kaufman said. "If we act like a typical L.A. driver and come out with four-letter words, that doesn't show our best side." If you're off the street and encounter a foreign visitor on a sidewalk who looks like he needs help, Kaufman says, "First of all, be anxious to help in any way you can.
"If you don't know the answer, you might tell them where they can get help. Be clear and quick, but polite. Talk slowly. Smile! If they don't understand the language, they certainly will understand a smile and pointing." It may sound old fashioned, Kaufman said, but just remember to treat people the way you'd like to be treated if you were visiting their country. "The whole Golden Rule can work wonders for you," she said. – By Dennis Kelly, Sun Staff Writer, San Bernardino Sun, 1984
🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.