Etiquette: Do’s, Dont’s, and the Sexes

 

“Don't forget to adorn your table with pretty finger bowls; they are a commodity that cannot be readily dispensed with.” “Don't use finger bowls; they are out of sight this year-laid upon the shelf.”

In a Wilderness of “Don’ts,”

Now and Then a “Do” 

One cannot pick up a paper or magazine without that ominous word “Don’t” confronting them. Some one will say “Why, I never found it so.” Well, perhaps not in just so many letters, but in some guise or other it will surely be found. My favorite house hold journal comes out and says one can’t keep the skin clear and pure without the aid of soap and water, and plenty of it. 

“As you value your precious hide, do not touch soap and water,” says some one else. “Rub the skin vigorously,” says one. “Massage the face very, very gently,” says another, “you are not supposed to be scouring a buffalo hide, and you will ruin the delicate cuticle.”

“Take a cold water bath before breakfast,” says one. “Take a tepid bath,” “take a scalding hot bath”; then after we have thought seriously about trying them all at once, some one throws us into fits by telling us not to bathe at all; dry rubbing is all-sufficient.

“To avoid corns wear a loose shoe.” “To avoid corns wear a tight shoe; not too tight, but just tight enough.” “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” is an old saw. “Never show yourself a coward by flying into a temper and beating a helpless child; rule by love.”

“Don't tell your old friends, though, particularly if they are of the opposite sex, that you love them and that your heartaches for their sorrows and disappointments, and that their happiness is your happiness; don’t, for mercies’ sake, do anything as horribly unconventional as that; just offer them two reluctant fingers and either study their patent leather shoes or the ceiling with profound interest; they will think then that you are au fait with the usages of good society and quite recherche.”

“Don't have little globules of grease floating on your soup; ‘tis a gastronomic indiscretion that would turn a well-regulated Frenchman green with horror.” “Do make your soup rich; boarding-house soup is an abomination in the sight of man.”

“Don't forget to adorn your table with pretty finger bowls; they are a commodity that cannot be readily dispensed with.” “Don't use finger bowls; they are out of sight this year-laid upon the shelf.”

With the can’ts and don’ts and shan’ts and musts and cans, what is a poor woman with just an ordinary everyday sort of brain going to do? Everybody knows that most every one of the sterner sex can easily shave one side of his face, but what woman ever rushed to write a long article suggesting that if he stand on his head he could easily accomplish the other half? Who ever worries about whether a man puts water on his head or not? It is generally supposed that he knew enough to go to his barber when necessary.

The truth is every other man in journalism thinks he has a special call to print a woman's magazine, and the fact is he don't know much about us; more than likely he is a crabbed old bachelor, and still he insists upon telling us how to dress, bathe, walk, smirk, spank the children and make soup.

Suppose every other woman was positive that she was elected to preach to the other sex through the columns of the finest magazines ever edited, for the benefit of poor, misguided man; well, they just wouldn’t be geese enough to read them, and who will blame them? – Virginia Bryant, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia