Cocktails and Being Well Bred

The guests consumed a great deal more liquor than the hostess expected. After the last guest left, she found three cigarette holes in the carpeting and one bad burn the length of a cigar on the fireplace mantel. – On a side note, the gloved woman to the far right should not be gloved while drinking. That is simply “tacky.” – photo source Pinterest

Agony Aunt, Ann Landers, Gives Her Thoughts on Being “Well Bred” vs Being Polite

Dear Ann: I know your column does not deal with problems of etiquette, but this falls in the category of human relations. Please suggest what I should do. We gave a party last evening for fifty friends. It was a cocktail affair with an informal buffet. Everyone seemed to be having a fine time, although I must say they consumed a great deal more liquor than we expected. After the last guest left, I found three cigarette holes in the carpeting and one bad burn the length of a cigar on the fireplace mantel.  

Only one man could have burned the mantel and I know very well who he is. I have a hunch about the holes in the rug, too. Shall I phone these people and suggest they do something about “making, this right”? Bear in mind, our friends are all people of means who have had good upbringings. In fact, they are considered very well bred. –Upset Hostess

Ann’s Answer: Don’t call your friends and suggest that they pay for damages done during a party. This is just further proof that even the “well-bred” have a tendency to get crumby when they drink too much. When you invite guests to your home, you naturally assume they will not devalue the property. When “well-bred’’ people do damage, they offer to pay for it. Why don’t you review your guest list for next time. – Ann Landers, 1958

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia