Napkin Etiquette and Usage

Its relevance is so significant, that in Buckingham Palace, when setting the table for a state dinner, an expert is dedicated to the art of the napkin, from the importance of the fabric, its washing, ironing and of course folding and placement of the napkins for the laying of the table. — Image from the book “For the Royal Table: Dining at the Palace” and was created by “The Royal Collection” in Great Britain. 

What makes a napkin? A piece of cloth (or occasionally paper), almost always square, that’s main purpose is to dab or wipe food away from our mouths while eating or drinking. 

If we have children, it seems that we continually pick up and wipe them with napkins… accidents at the table when a drink spills, or food that falls onto the table or children themselves. In other words, napkins at a dinner table are indispensable.

I believe that napkins also “speak”. I believe napkins have their own identity, as I say. It is “their language”. Their physical appearance: fabric, color, design, how we place them, where we put them… they say so much.

The napkin can be square or rectangular, depending on the time of the meal, the size of the napkin varies. If it is for cocktails, it is small and square. If it is for dinner, we use the largest sized napkin, usually in a rectangle. 

On the internet we can find a lot of different ways of how to fold them to “present” them at the table. Various shapes have come in and out of fashion over the centuries. The most important thing is our creativity and intention to achieve something nice in such an important moment as sharing a meal with our loved ones.

The napkin is the first thing we see when we sit down in a restaurant for a business lunch, a romantic dinner, or simply a nice meal with our friends. Its presentation influences in such a way that just with a napkin we can instinctively know what to expect from that meeting and meal.

Its relevance is so significant, that in Buckingham Palace, when setting the table for a state dinner, an expert is dedicated to the art of the napkin, from the importance of the fabric, its washing, ironing and of course folding and placement of the napkins for the laying of the table.

The napkin is presented on the table, almost always on top of the plate or to our left at the beginning of the fork sequence.

When we sit at the table before starting a meal we place the napkin across our laps. If during the meal we have to get up, it is best to leave it on the seat of the chair, although depending on the casualness of where we are dining, we can occasionally leave a napkin slightly crumpled on the left side of the setting until we return. When we finish eating, we will leave it on the left side of the setting, but only when the meal is finished and everyone is getting up to leave the table.

All these rules are important, so that the rest of the participants, especially the waiters and waitresses, know how to proceed.

Details as simple as those if made by our children decorating the table at home to the sophisticated tables in elegant restaurants, all leave a mark to remember.

Meet our newest contributor, Isabel. E. Martinez, who was educated in Business Management at the Universidad Católica Andrés Bello, in Caracas, Venezuela. After relocating for a few years to Miami, Florida, Isabel developed a company teaching computer skills. Among her clients were Baccardi in Bermuda, and Mavesa, Telcel (Movistar), and Heinz in Venezuela. That is when she discovered her passion for teaching. As her children became adults, she shifted her focus and dedicated her time to teach on subjects she is very passionate about; Hospitality and Table Etiquette. Throughout workshops in English and in Spanish, Isabel works with employees in the hospitality industry, and those business professionals who when interacting with customers, would like to make sure that they are the most professional representations of their companies. Especially when attending business lunches and events. She also offers youth and teen courses in etiquette, helping them to excel with integrity and pride in whatever field they desire to pursue. To learn more about Isabel, visit her website: www.learningschool2.com or @learningschool_

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia