Gilded Age Etiquette of Hosting a Ball

It is perfectly correct for a host or son of a hostess to ask such selfish guests to do him the favor of dancing with Miss Jones or Miss Gray. No man who is a gentleman ever refuses such a request, if he has no previous engagement for the dance.

Duties of the Hostess

The pleasure of the guests and the success of the entertainment depend in a great measure on the tact and unselfishness of the hostess. A good hostess always makes it her duty to see that her women guests are provided with partners for the majority of the dances, and that all the chaperons have been taken out to supper. She introduces strangers to each other and makes her husband and son, if she have one, keep a sharp lookout that wallflowers are conspicuous by their absence at her party. 

It is not at all necessary for the host to receive with his wife, but he should pay considerable attention to all the ladies. If he is a young man he tries to get a dance, or at least a pleasant word or two, with every one present. If his dancing days are over, he devotes himself to the chaperons and keeps an eye on the young men present, not allowing them to congregate in knots about the doorway or selfishly gather in the cloakroom while any young ladies are sitting partnerless. 

It is perfectly correct for him to ask such selfish guests to do him the favor of dancing with Miss Jones or Miss Gray. No man who is a gentleman ever refuses such a request, if he has no previous engagement for the dance. – By Eleanor B. Clapp, for the San Francisco Call, 1905

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia