Wedding Dress Etiquette

“However much a man’s mother may regret her son’s choice, she has no right to humiliate his bride at her own wedding– mortify her and make her unhappy. A woman of 63, dressed up to imitate a bride of 22, is not a pleasing picture.”

“This problem has two horns. One is etiquette; the other animus. Let’s get at the facts; 

‘Is it wedding etiquette for a bridegroom’s mother to wear her own white satin wedding dress, of the vintage of 1912 to her sons wedding? When she knows her son’s bride-elect has chosen white satin for her own bridal dress? 

‘There is no use to argue. Opposition would only make her the more determined to do it her own way. However much a man’s mother may regret her son’s choice she has no right to humiliate his bride at her own wedding– mortify her and make her unhappy. A woman of 63 dressed up to imitate a bride of 22 is not a pleasing picture. She could have her wedding dress dyed a pretty shade of lavender or any other color she liked. It is a handsome piece of satin and would dye well. 

‘She is so conceited, she said with a malicious grin that people would take her for the bride. There is no hurry. But your help would be appreciated. “She’s somewhat of a stickler for etiquette.’ –signed, Disgusted

“If she is a stickler for etiquette she will have her dress not only dyed but made over on more modern lines. So will she be appropriately and more becomingly dressed. However, are you sure you are not maligning her? It has been the custom once in so often for a woman to wear her own wedding dress at some special formal occasion. She may be genuinely mistaken, wishing to do honor to the occasion. 

“Also, are you certain that you have not misinterpreted a joking remark and set down to vanity a thoughtless joke? Seriously, a woman could not expect at 63 to be mistaken for a bride in her early 20s. By getting angry you are complicating a situation that could readily be worked out on a basis of goodwill and good taste. Get some outsider to suggest to your mother-in-law-elect that wedding finery almost a quarter of a century passed, is hardly the best choice for a son’s wedding. Even if your future mother-in-law did such a thing, you should be neither mortified nor hurt. To feel so, shows a small nature.” – By Estelle Lawton Lindsey, 1935

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia