The Cat Fight Over “Eticat”

       

CAT FIGHT: Jere Hathaway Wright holds puppets Eticat, left, and Mt. Jewl, after testifying in court Wednesday in Fairfax, Va. – January 1998
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 The judge ultimately ruled against Johnson in the lawsuit: Today's etiquette lesson: Sharing with a friend is a nice idea, but better get a trademark first. A Fairfax County judge ruled yesterday that an area woman who created a purple sock puppet named Eticat to teach manners to children cannot successfully sue a former friend who borrowed the idea.– Washington Post, February, 1998

Etiquette Mavens Doff Gloves for Cat Puppet 

FAIRFAX, Va.– The white gloves have come off as two Washington-area manners mavens fight each other in a most uncivil lawsuit over the rights to Eticat, a feline puppet used to teach children etiquette. Dorothea Johnson accuses a former employee, Jere Hathaway Wright, of swiping the puppet idea and starting a competing operation schooling children in the finer points of polite society. 

“All I can say is I believe I was there first,” Wright said in a huff as she clutched the purple-and-black puppet outside a Fairfax County courtroom Wednesday. Johnson is seeking to bar Wright from using the Eticat name. She also wants up to $10,000 in damages. 

A judge who heard two days of testimony is expected to rule in February. “She was a friend, and I feel betrayed,” Johnson said. Wright was broke and looking for work five years ago when Johnson hired her as a consultant for The Protocol School of Washington, Johnson said. “Never did I suspect that she would take my materials and use them in the way that she did,” Johnson testified. 

Johnson, with 40 years of experience, is perhaps the best known of the etiquette tutors who abound in society conscious Washington, where the social graces can help one avoid an international incident. Johnson also works as a consultant to the American diplomatic corps. She claims she was working on an idea to use a cat puppet in her childrens etiquette classes when Wright came on board in 1993. The project was called Eticat and was outlined in confidential documents. 

Although her lawyer calls it theft, Johnson puts her allegation more politely: “Miss Wright misappropriated my idea. The unpleasantness began early on,” Johnson said, when she overheard Wright make some rather indecorous remarks about Johnson’s table manners.– The Associated Press, 1998

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tipping Etiquette History

Regardless of how cute or funny a restaurant tries to make it, a command to “tip the waiter” will still annoy many patrons.

The Pernicious Habit of Tipping

New Orleans has rebelled against lagniappe and declared for its abolition. A practice which probably began in the simple courtesy of giving a stick of candy or some delicacy to a customer’s child with time grew into a heavy tax upon trade. By becoming virtually compulsory it lost its first sentimental purpose of personal kindness and good will and took on the character of a fixed exaction, just as tipping has done here.

The abuse common to many domestic servants and commercial buyers who have levied commissions upon dealers of all sorts for giving preference to their goods led to the passage of the Saxe anti-tipping law. It promises to interfere with the private profits of purchasing agents, as well as of stewards and grooms and gardeners.

In Great Britain the prevention of corruption bill, which went into effect Jan. 1st, shuts off similar favors corruptly given to influence an agent in the discharge of his principal’s business. While it is not expected to affect open tipping, strictly enforced it may undermine that flourishing British institution, the Christmas box, which had almost ceased to be a gratuity and become a vested right. 

British tradesmen desired to protect their trade by distributing Christmas bonuses, but to all practical purposes they had lost the privilege of choice. The Spectator suggests the adoption of the rule followed by several firms in Geneva which, in place of their usual indiscriminate gifts of cigars, chocolate and so on, hand over a sum of money to the public authorities for charitable distribution.

The Petit Parisien, in discussing the question of New Year’s presents and “pourboires,” uncovered an interesting state of opinion in certain trades. The Barbers’ Trades Union in Paris, for instance, in its constitution, which dates from 1887, prescribes the suppression of tipping. It takes the logical position that the laborer, being worthy of his hire, should not depend for pay upon the caprice or generosity of the customers. 

As an employee the barber, like any other worker, is entitled to fixed, adequate wages. The circumstance that tips are so frequently bestowed tends to reduce wages unfairly and to lower the standing of the worker. The dignity of labor, in a personal and material way, is made on the basis of the barbers’ protest against the long-unaccepted tip. was regarded as the mark of a foreigner to stretch the grateful hand to the tipper. 

The average American worker would have regarded the offer of money as an insult. In many occupations the practice is now as firmly established as abroad, but the American rule requires a liberality unknown in Europe. It would be refreshing to have a barbers’ or waiters’ union in New York make formal protest against the degrading and humiliating influence of tipping. – New York World, 1907

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of the Elevator in 1907

If men should remove their hats in the presence of women in the elevators of business and public buildings they should by analogy take them off in Pullman cars and cabins of ferry-boats, in street and railroad cars and coaches, in closed carriages and omnibuses, in the stores; go uncovered in the corridors of the capitol; the congressional library, the national museum, the corridors of the government office buildings, railroad stations, and, in short, in all places under roof in which the two sexes publicly mingle. – Above, a beautifully designed, art deco era elevator door. 

"There is no one to pass authoritatively upon the etiquette of the elevator," said a critical citizen to a Star reporter, "but it strikes me that the line should be drawn, and a little study of the question has resulted in this conclusion:

"I think the line should be drawn between the business elevators, those in office buildings, stores and public buildings generally and those in hotels. In the latter a man should remove his hat and uncover in the presence of women passengers, and in the former he should not, and there should be no deviation from the rule.

"The differentiation in the established courtesy shown by men as a great class to women may easily be made clear, though there are some of our fair sisters who would keep a man on his knees all the time and never give him a chance to stretch as others would have him uncover in the street cars, which are inclosed compartments frequented by both sexes, and give him a perpetual cold in the head.

"If men should remove their hats in the presence of women in the elevators of business and public buildings they should by analogy take them off in Pullman cars and cabins of ferry-boats, in street and railroad cars and coaches, in closed carriages and omnibuses, in the stores; go uncovered in the corridors of the capitol; the congressional library, the national museum, the corridors of the government office buildings, railroad stations, and, in short, in all places under roof in which the two sexes publicly mingle.

"Certain it is if a woman expects a man to uncover in a public elevator, her sense of discrimination which the cynics of both sexes unite in declaring is not accentuated, except as regards female apparel, it is the height of absurdity for her not to be indignant if a man rides with her with his hat on in a closed carriage; yet not one of our sweet cousins would think for a moment that a man should do this, though he is closer to her in one compartment than in a public elevator, and he is either slightly or well acquainted with her in the bargain.

"In the elevator of a hotel, however, it is another matter. Here the two sexes meet upon more personal terms, as it were, and the relationship between the sexes is more of that in private houses. There is an atmosphere entirely different from that in the elevator of a business or public building, and it is one which demands of a man more courtesy toward the opposite sex than in the latter place

"I have always thought, therefore, when I see men uncover in store and public building elevators that they lacked a discriminating knowledge of gentlemanly instincts rather than, as they evidently suppose, showing such to woman shoppers and visitors to the departments." – Washington Star, 1907

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Review of 1886 Etiquette in 1948

“When tripping over the pavement, a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above the ankle. With the right hand, she should hold together the folds of her gown, and draw them towards the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can only be tolerated for a moment, when the mud is very deep.” – Above, what the fashionable women of 1886 would be wearing while following the etiquette of the day.

Can You Imagine Following 

Gilded Age Etiquette 

in 1948?

According to an etiquette book published in 1886, there are things that a lady, or gentleman, doesn't do. Can't you just see some Tamites abiding by these rules?

“A lady ought to adopt a modest and measured gait; too great hurry injures the grace which ought to characterize her.” (what if you only have five minutes between classes?) “She should not present herself alone in a library or museum, unless she goes there to study or work as an artist.

“After twilight, a young lady would not be conducting herself in a becoming manner, by walking alone, If the host wishes to accompany you himself, you must excuse yourself politely for giving him so much trouble, but finish, however, by accepting.

“When tripping over the pavement, a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above the ankle. With the right hand, she should hold together the folds of her gown, and draw them towards the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can only be tolerated for a moment, when the mud is very deep.” – Tamalpais News, 1948

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette: “How To” in China

The Japanese, conscientious to the extreme about courtesy and etiquette, recently published a book of instructions of how to behave in China. 

Some tips:

• (1) Moderate your drinking habits. Please try not to be a nuisance to other people, the book urges. In the past there has been trouble because of sake (rice wine) drinking. In Japan, the excuse “under the influence of sake” is acceptable, but this is not so in China.
• (2) Treat Chinese women as equals, the book warns Japanese men - So do not hurt women's feelings by teasing them or making improper jokes. Avoid undue familiarity and do not touch their persons with your hands, which is a most impolite thing to do.
• (3) Do not talk to Chinese people with a cigarette in your mouth.
• (4) Do not walk around your hotel wearing only underwear or pajamas and slippers, the book advises. Treat hotel employees not as servants but in a friendly manner, as equals.
• (5) When you take a photograph, always ask permission of bystanders. When photographing public monuments, be careful to frame the entire subject. The Chinese will inspect your film before leaving the country, and do not look kindly on headless or legless photos of their leaders.
• (6) Never speak of “Red China” or “Communist China.” The proper appellation is “The People's Republic of China.”– San Bernardino Sun, 1972

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Artillery Etiquette in 1904

Being armed was a necessity for many at the turn of the 19th to 20th centuries. Women, and personal protection for them, were the subjects of numerous advertising campaigns, especially in areas where one’s safety was in question. Above is one such advertisement by Smith and Wesson.

GUN ETIQUETTE IN COLORADO

Curator of State Museum Gives His Opinion of the Matter

After twenty-five years of residence In Colorado, State Curator W. C. Ferril is raising a nice point in what he calls “artillery” etiquette. Mr. Ferril regards himself as no tenderfoot, and says that since Friday night the only reason he has not at least one dead man to his credit is that he was not armed.

It appears that on Friday night between 10 and 11 o'clock, Mr. Ferril was wending his way toward his home on Downing avenue. He had occasion to cross a vacant lot between Eighteenth and Nineteenth avenues, near Washington, and on stepping out upon Nineteenth avenue he discovered that he had in the darkness come up immediately behind a man and a woman who were standing on the corner. Mr. Ferril's movements had perhaps been more than ordinarily quiet, and the couple took immediate alarm. At least the man threw one hand to his hip pocket in what Mr. Ferril terms a well-defined “gun play.”

Noticing the action on the part of the man, Ferril, who was only about ten feet away, threw up his hands. “My hands are up,” he shouted. “Don't come up behind me with your hands in your pocket,” said the unknown, with his hand still at his hip pocket, although he drew no gun. “I don't know what to make of the occurrence,” said Mr. Ferril in discussing the matter yesterday. “I don't know whether the fellow had a gun or not. We were still standing there, my hands in the air and he with one hand at his hip, when another couple came along and asked which way to reach the Brown Hotel. I answered them and by that time my unknown friend and his companion had left the scene.

“It was the most absurd thing that ever happened to me since I came to Colorado, particularly as I don't believe the fellow had a gun on his person. He undoubtedly made a gun play, however, and if I had been properly armed I would no doubt have taken a shot at him. By properly armed I mean with a gun in my coat pocket, where such a weapon ought to be carried. Nobody should carry a gun, if he expects to use it, in his hip pocket.

“The proposition resolves itself down to this point, as I understand artillery etiquette,” concluded Mr. Ferril. “When I saw his movement and threw up my hands that was immediate recognition of his ‘drop’ on me if he had one. If he had a drop on me and intended me any harm, it was up to him to proceed with his plans whatever they were. But when he failed to take his hand away from his pocket - then it was my turn to act. If I had had a gun I would undoubtedly have drawn upon him and fired. That, I take it, would be my privileges while he maintained a threatening attitude.” -Denver Republican, 1904

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Rank Among Actors

The star bears exactly the same relation to the subjects as a Queen does to the ladies of the Court, and the subjects the same relation to the coryphées as, say, the ladies of the bedchamber to the dressers of her Majesty. The quadrille is a mob of novices having no rank to speak of. – Print of the famed, 1874 painting by Edgar Degas, “The Rehearsal of the Ballet Onstage”

Fine Distinctions of Etiquette Observed in the Green-Room

There is no place under heaven in which hierarchical grades are so rigidly established as in the dancers’ green-room at the European opera-houses. The star, says the Chicago News, bears exactly the same relation to the subjects as a Queen does to the ladies of the Court, and the subjects the same relation to the coryphées as, say, the ladies of the bedchamber to the dressers of her Majesty. The quadrille is a mob of novices having no rank to speak of.

Were a subscriber to pit or box tier, who has his entree to the green-room, engaged in a conversation in the wings with a member of the quadrille, and a coryphée to come up, the former would have to go away. The same etiquette would be observed by a coryphée if a subject came up; and if the star deigned to speak to the gentleman the subject would be expected to fall back in an attitude which would express the deep sense she felt of the honor done her by the star in deigning to address the admirer of the subject.

A star would think herself called upon to resent being invited to dine with an inferior member of the corps de ballet unless her leave were first asked. The etiquette would be to ask her what members it might be agreeable for her to meet, and whether, if she did not desire to make a choice herself, it might be agreeable for Mademoiselle Such-a-One to be invited? Nor would it be thought rude if she made a choice excluding the danseuse so named. Subjects stand in a relative position toward coryphées. But young ladies of the quadrille should be only asked to meet each other. – Banning Herald, 1891

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Mid-20th C. Women’s Glove Etiquette

   

Social successories – Women’s long silk gloves, along with a pair of vintage leather gloves, antique glove stretchers and button hooks.

Glove Etiquette

There was a time when gloves played an important role in society, and a lady was rarely seen in public without them. Today, especially in Southern California where the dressing habits are so casual, the emphasis placed on this accessory is perhaps not stressed enough. When a young woman is trying to look her best, gloves tend to give her a more poised and pleasing appearance. The college girl should always wear gloves to such events as semi-formal and formal dances, receptions, concerts, formal dinners, interviews, weddings, etc…

In choosing a length for your gloves, you should consider the type of sleeve you will be wearing. The lengths of gloves range from one-button (one inch above the base of the thumb) to 20 buttons (20 inches above the base of the thumb). For short-sleeved dresses, any length along the lower forearm is appropriate. Sleeveless cocktail dresses and semi-formals are effectively accessorized with elbow-length gloves. On very formal occasions where long, bare-armed gowns are prevalent, only opera and shoulder lengths are permissible. The popular shorty gloves are the most versatile of all and can be worn with almost anything.

Gloves have acquired an etiquette of their own, and the manner in which they are handled is important. Once inside a building or house, you may remove them at any time except at formal dances, dinners, and receptions. When eating, both gloves should be removed and kept on the lap under the dinner napkin, never on top of the table. A lady should always keep her gloves on while shaking hands.

Fine store glove departments have a complete selection of the finest gloves in the most fashionable styles, colors, and materials. There you can find chic gloves designed in imported kid, pigskin, or the new stretch leather that conforms to the shape of the hand beautifully. To make it easy for you to coordinate an outfit, the fabric gloves of easy care cotton or nylon come in a host of shades. For evening, luxurious metallic fabrics and satins have been used to give more importance and elegance to the hands. 

To add an extra touch of completeness to an outfit, matching purses have been combined with gloves that fit every hand size (they make perfect gifts, too!). At Harris' glove counter, individual attention is given to helping you select the right style and insuring a perfect fit. Remember, properly gloved hands can make the difference between good and bad grooming. – By Mary Kay and Pam Louden for the Highlander, 1964

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia