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| “… boys keep your seats in street cars! If the lady who comes and stands in front of you is young and healthy, you can just let her stand and like it, this eminent salon of the salons decides. But if there is one vacant seat in the car, and you get on at the same stop as a young lady does, don't trip over her feet trying to beat her to it.” |
Are Your Manners Streamlined to Modern Tempo?
Radical Changes in Social Customs Approved by Emily Post, America's Arbiter of Deportment, Who Gives Her “All Rights” and “Don'ts” in the World of Etiquette
IN THE days of William Shakespeare, when good Queen Bess ruled England, the first rule of court behavior read: "It is forbidden to strike the Queen in the face or forcibly to take food from her."
Nowadays no one would think of giving such obvious instruction, either in a court circular or any other compendium of etiquette, For manners change as surely - though more slowly-than fashions in clothing, as is revealed in the newest edition of "Etiquette," the standard volume published by Funk & Wagnalls and written by Emily Post, America's dictator of social deportment, Purely arbitrary and unnecessary rules tend, she shows, to be forgotten. And the basic purpose underlying the dictates of etiquette more and more comes to be the carrying on of social contacts in a smooth and pleasant manner.
As a result, pretentious flourishes in speech and manner are out! Today's manners are streamlined, A girl of today might seem as out of place in affecting certain of her grandmother's manners as she would he in wearing her grandmother's hoopskirts. Nowhere is this so clearly seen as in the changing social relations between the sexes and woman's invasion of the realm of business has, Mrs. Post shows, done most of all to break down old social taboos, and make it possible for a girl to do things nowadays, with perfect propriety. which would have caused her grandma to be shunned by good society and deemed "no lady."
FOR example, did you know that today a circumstance exists under which a young, unmarried girl can quite properly travel around the country, all alone, with a man not related to her? Not only that, but she can occupy a berth in the same Pullman car, and even put up at the same hotels as he does.
This revolution in social taste has been brought about by the needs of the business world. Mrs. Post holds that a girl or woman who is the confidential secretary of a busy man may travel with him on a business trip providing the girl maintains an attitude of strict impersonality. And tactfully - she should avoid occupying a hotel room which connects with his.
Men get many "breaks" from the new etiquette. The old idea that a man pays and pays for everything a woman companion eats or drinks now has exceptions, especially when they have met by chance rather than by his invitation.
And a woman, today, may invite a gentleman to visit her, even though their acquaintance is not a long one. She may, if over 18, go to dinner in his apartment, providing their circle is one in which this would not excite comment,
No longer is it necessary for a man to walk on the outside of the sidewalk, laboriously changing from one side of his lady to the other whenever they cross the street. Mrs. Post tells that this custom, still followed by the overwhelming majority of American males, is a survival from the days when danger lurked in the road and the man naturally strove to shield his female companions from it.
Nowadays, however, when so few horses remain at the curb to take a playful nibble at a passing woman, or to run berserk and knock her down, there is no need for this pedestrian gallantry, and a walking couple can cross and re-cross the road without seeming to dance.
BUT no lady, the author decides, smokes on the street, and she still condemns the mirror-squinting habit of painting or powdering in public. And of course, kissing in public is out! A husband and wife, meeting at a railway station after a considerable separation will kiss of course (after the husband has raised his hat) but if wifie meets Mr. Commuter every night when the 5:15 gets to the Suburbia depot, she doesn't give him a nightly kiss of greeting in front of an interested public.
And, oh yes, boys keep your seats in street cars! If the lady who comes and stands in front of you is young and healthy, you can just let her stand and like it, this eminent salon of the salons decides. But if there is one vacant seat in the car, and you get on at the same stop as a young lady does, don't trip over her feet trying to beat her to it. Give the little girl a break and the seat.
Girls, do you want to catch a man? It isn't ladylike to run after him, but nowadays it's quite all right to "stalk" him a bit! You can invite him to a party. You can even buy theatre tickets and invite him out occasionally. Sort of put it casually, like: "I have two tickets for the show, (or the game). Would you like to go with me?"
If you're sufficiently "cat-like" (the words are Mrs. Post's) you can really do quite a bit of shrewd pursuing without losing face,
And if you want to be Miss Popularity, you can no longer depend on a pretty face alone, she warns. Don't try to be like the belles of yesteryear, for being ornamental won't attract the boys much if you're also useless. No, girls in this modern world, Mrs. Post finds it not only good manners for a woman to be capable, and interested in almost everything but darned good sense as well!
If you dance — and she considers this very important -be sure you do it well. If you can't dance, and wisely avoid trying to learn at the expense of partners’ feet-you can smooth your social path by be ing a good bridge player.
The growing interest in cards has brought forth some sound advice from this autoerat of manners. If you are only a "veneered gentleman, the stresses and excitement of a card game are very likely to melt your veneer, she warns, And politer friends will see through you if you let a greedy glitter shine from your eyes when you win, or an envious sneer curl your lip when you lose. And - never throw down your bridge hand and say: "The rest are mine"! — Oakland Tribune, 1937
🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
