1940’s Codes of Student’s Etiquette

“ Observations a young high school miss made in my hearing on the marks of a well-bred youth, are echoed in the code of etiquette for youth compiled by a Dean of Women in an eastern college. Reading the code brought to my mind what the high school girl had observed. And her observations are what interested me in the Dean’s code.” 

Observations a young high school miss made in my hearing on the marks of a well-bred youth, are echoed in the code of etiquette for youth compiled by a Dean of Women in an eastern college. Reading the code brought to my mind what the high school girl had observed. And her observations are what interested me in the Dean’s code. 

They practically agree, so I won’t identify their views, but quote them anonymously. “Kindness and consideration for others is the basis of all etiquette.” “He should know how to make correct introductions, must know correct table etiquette and should be neat and well-dressed in appearance.” “He should walk correctly with a girl so that she will not be criticized.” 

And quoting from the West Point code of etiquette, “Nothing so quickly discloses the presence or absence of breeding in a man as does his attitude toward women.” “The home is the true test of etiquette and courtesy. “True breeding is shown in the why a man treats the women who love him.” — From Log Of Life, By Katherine Virginia Sinks, for the San Pedro News Pilot, 1944

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Spotlight on Eileen Copeland

Meet Etiquette Coach and Etiquipedia Contributor, Eileen Copeland, Founder of Southern California Etiquette

Eileen is the founder of Southern California Etiquette, a modern etiquette and social refinement platform which explores dining culture, hosting, presentation, and contemporary social behavior. 

A native Southern Californian, Eileen’s background includes executive and personal assisting, real estate, wellness, modeling, beauty, and luxury client services. 

Married for over 15 years, Eileen is a mother of two and grandmother of two, whose broad experiences, including living internationally for nearly a decade, helped shape her appreciation for culture, hospitality, and refined living. She shares life with her husband, her mini Goldendoodle, Teddy, and Luna, her sphynx cat.

Below are links to a few of Eileen’s articles on etiquette that you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

Top 10 Rules of BBQ Etiquette
Thoughts on Introduction Etiquette
Early Black-American Etiquette
When Tech and Old Etiquette Intersect

Eileen says, “Good manners are not about being better than someone else—they're about helping others feel valued, respected, and welcome.”

The following is a Q. & A. with Eileen:

What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?

I started Southern California Etiquette because I believe good manners are one of the greatest gifts we can give the next generation. Etiquette isn't about social status—it's about respect, kindness, and consideration. My mission is to help children build confidence early while teaching that good character never goes out of style.

2. What do you enjoy teaching the most regarding Etiquette?

I enjoy teaching children social skills and dining manners the most. They are eager to learn and genuinely excited to practice what they've been taught.

Eileen was inspired by HBO’s, “The Gilded Age,” to research more on Black Americans in the Gilded Age. Her research has led her to several authors’ works. “I enjoy studying etiquette through many different voices and historical perspectives. I'm especially inspired by the work of Edward S. Green, one of the earliest Black etiquette authors, whose 1899 book The Complete Manners of Polite Society highlighted the importance of courtesy, dignity, and self-respect.” — Above, Eileen modeling gilded age attire. 

3. What do you find rewarding about teaching Etiquette?

Seeing confidence grow is the most rewarding part. Whether it's introducing themselves with confidence, practicing good table manners, or communicating respectfully, students gain life skills they will carry with them for years to come. Watching them realize that small acts of respect and kindness can make a big difference. That is incredibly rewarding!

4. What types of classes do you offer?

My primary focus is children’s etiquette education, including everyday manners, dining etiquette, communication skills, confidence, and social etiquette. I also offer classes for teens, adults, businesses, schools, community organizations, and private groups.

Teaching respect, empathy, and confidence at an early age is vital, and allows them to build a strong foundation for every stage of life.

5. What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?

Children are my favorite age group because the lessons they learn today become the habits they carry into adulthood. Teaching respect, empathy, and confidence at an early age is vital, and allows them to build a strong foundation for every stage of life.

6. Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading?

I enjoy studying etiquette through many different voices and historical perspectives. I'm especially inspired by the work of Edward S. Green, one of the earliest Black etiquette authors, whose 1899 book The Complete Manners of Polite Society highlighted the importance of courtesy, dignity, and self-respect.

I'm also grateful to study under Maura J. Graber, whose passion for etiquette history and education continues to inspire my own work. And, of course, Emily Post remains one of the most influential authorities whose timeless principles continue to shape etiquette today.

As I continue my own journey as an etiquette writer, I hope to help preserve history while making etiquette approachable and meaningful for future generations. Good manners are not about being better than someone else—they're about helping others feel valued, respected, and welcome.

To learn more about Eileen and her services, you can reach her via her website https://southerncaliforniaetiquette.com/

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia