1937’s “Post OK’d” Modern Manners, Part 2

 “For years it has been considered the height of rudeness to send typewritten letters to your friends. But nowadays, Mrs. Post holds, it is entirely correct to type personal letters, on all except formal occasions. The great convenience of the typewriter, plus the legibility of its product as compared to the deplorable handwriting of so many people have helped bring this about.”— Above, a letter from Emily Post to a friend in 1940, from the Etiquipedia private library and future Etiquette Museum

 Are Your Manners Streamlined to Modern Tempo?

Radical Changes in Social Customs Approved by Emily Post, America's Arbiter of Deportment, Who Gives Her “All Rights” and “Don'ts” in the World of Etiquette

RADIO and motoring manners are two more modern themes to receive Mrs. Post's consideration. She expresses wonder that men and women, ordinarily quite polite and considerate of others, so often become quite the reverse as soon as they sit behind the steering wheel of a car. Hand signals, she shows are just as trüly gestures of courtesy as is the gentlemanly ritual of raising ing the hat to a lady, and a cultured person will no more hog the road than he would spear all the lamb-chops on the family dinner platter.

Mrs. Post also has a helpful word for those who enjoy radios. It is rude to break in on the favorite program of a friend, in that friend's house. Thousands of radio listeners, she points out, look forward eagerly to certain scheduled periods of entertainment. So often, such a “fan” may be interrupted in the enjoyment of her favorite program by the arrival of a friend.

Such friends are often very inconsiderate. They think nothing of chattering — or shouting — above the sounds of a symphony. Yet these people would never dream of showing the same rudeness in a theatre, or at a concert.

Do you write many letters? For years it has been considered the height of rudeness to send typewritten letters to your friends. But nowadays, Mrs. Post holds, it is entirely correct to type personal letters, on all except formal occasions. The great convenience of the typewriter, plus the legibility of its product as compared to the deplorable handwriting of so many people have helped bring this about.

AS a hostess, would you poison your guests? If not, she claims that there is no justification for the almost universally- accepted practice of a hostess serving herself first at table. This, Mrs. Post terms "The Great American Rudeness."

She explains that it is a survival from the days of the Borgias, when scheming aristocrats often invited people to din- ner for the highly inhospitable purpose of poisoning them. Consequently, it was the very acme of good form in those days to sample every dish yourself before serv- ving others the theory being that if you'd eat it yourself, it must be safel And as a guest-don't be late for din- ner. That's old fashioned, and today hostesses are becoming intolerant even of the old custom of allowing guests a 15- minute period of grace. The author tells the story of one stern host who takes his guests in to dinner at the appointed time, and feeds the late-comers only those courses which remain to be served.

Once, a socially-prominent girl came very late, and the ensuing conversation went something like this: "Oh, dear Mr. Gilding, am I late?" "You are," are," said he, "very." "And I am so hungry!" "Oh, you are?" said the host. "well, coffee will be served immediately." The subject of lateness introduces an- other warning to girls. Don't keep him waiting! In other, more leisurely years, says Mrs. Post, a young man didn't mind standing around while his girl friend took her time. It was all very proper.

Today it isn't. The man should still appear first at a place of meeting, but, ideally, the woman woman should arrive exactly on the dot and there find that he has been waiting for her for about one or two minutes,

T ABLE manners, of course, are discussed by Mrs. Mrs. Post at great length. Here, too, there have been changes. At one time this arbiter of good form would not eat corn on the cob, a feat which not many diners manage to perform gracefully. Now, however, it is perfectly all right to pick up an entire ear in both hands and munch to your heart's content, even at a formal dinner. But try to do it neatly.

“Rules of etiquette are nothing more than signposts by which we are guided to the goal of good taste,” and she holds that “Americans as a people have all youth's glorious beauty and strength and vitality and courage. If we can keep these attributes and add finish and understanding and perfect taste in living we need not dwell on the Golden Age that is past, but believe in the Golden Age that is sure to be.” — Oakland Tribune, 1937

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1937’s “Post OK’d” Modern Manners, Part 1

“… boys keep your seats in street cars! If the lady who comes and stands in front of you is young and healthy, you can just let her stand and like it, this eminent salon of the salons decides. But if there is one vacant seat in the car, and you get on at the same stop as a young lady does, don't trip over her feet trying to beat her to it.”

Are Your Manners Streamlined to Modern Tempo?

Radical Changes in Social Customs Approved by Emily Post, America's Arbiter of Deportment, Who Gives Her “All Rights” and “Don'ts” in the World of Etiquette

IN THE days of William Shakespeare, when good Queen Bess ruled England, the first rule of court behavior read: "It is forbidden to strike the Queen in the face or forcibly to take food from her."

Nowadays no one would think of giving such obvious instruction, either in a court circular or any other compendium of etiquette, For manners change as surely - though more slowly-than fashions in clothing, as is revealed in the newest edition of "Etiquette," the standard volume published by Funk & Wagnalls and written by Emily Post, America's dictator of social deportment, Purely arbitrary and unnecessary rules tend, she shows, to be forgotten. And the basic purpose underlying the dictates of etiquette more and more comes to be the carrying on of social contacts in a smooth and pleasant manner.

As a result, pretentious flourishes in speech and manner are out! Today's manners are streamlined, A girl of today might seem as out of place in affecting certain of her grandmother's manners as she would he in wearing her grandmother's hoopskirts. Nowhere is this so clearly seen as in the changing social relations between the sexes and woman's invasion of the realm of business has, Mrs. Post shows, done most of all to break down old social taboos, and make it possible for a girl to do things nowadays, with perfect propriety. which would have caused her grandma to be shunned by good society and deemed "no lady."

FOR example, did you know that today a circumstance exists under which a young, unmarried girl can quite properly travel around the country, all alone, with a man not related to her? Not only that, but she can occupy a berth in the same Pullman car, and even put up at the same hotels as he does.

This revolution in social taste has been brought about by the needs of the business world. Mrs. Post holds that a girl or woman who is the confidential secretary of a busy man may travel with him on a business trip providing the girl maintains an attitude of strict impersonality. And tactfully - she should avoid occupying a hotel room which connects with his.

Men get many "breaks" from the new etiquette. The old idea that a man pays and pays for everything a woman companion eats or drinks now has exceptions, especially when they have met by chance rather than by his invitation.

And a woman, today, may invite a gentleman to visit her, even though their acquaintance is not a long one. She may, if over 18, go to dinner in his apartment, providing their circle is one in which this would not excite comment,

No longer is it necessary for a man to walk on the outside of the sidewalk, laboriously changing from one side of his lady to the other whenever they cross the street. Mrs. Post tells that this custom, still followed by the overwhelming majority of American males, is a survival from the days when danger lurked in the road and the man naturally strove to shield his female companions from it.

Nowadays, however, when so few horses remain at the curb to take a playful nibble at a passing woman, or to run berserk and knock her down, there is no need for this pedestrian gallantry, and a walking couple can cross and re-cross the road without seeming to dance.

BUT no lady, the author decides, smokes on the street, and she still condemns the mirror-squinting habit of painting or powdering in public. And of course, kissing in public is out! A husband and wife, meeting at a railway station after a considerable separation will kiss of course (after the husband has raised his hat) but if wifie meets Mr. Commuter every night when the 5:15 gets to the Suburbia depot, she doesn't give him a nightly kiss of greeting in front of an interested public.

And, oh yes, boys keep your seats in street cars! If the lady who comes and stands in front of you is young and healthy, you can just let her stand and like it, this eminent salon of the salons decides. But if there is one vacant seat in the car, and you get on at the same stop as a young lady does, don't trip over her feet trying to beat her to it. Give the little girl a break and the seat.

Girls, do you want to catch a man? It isn't ladylike to run after him, but nowadays it's quite all right to "stalk" him a bit! You can invite him to a party. You can even buy theatre tickets and invite him out occasionally. Sort of put it casually, like: "I have two tickets for the show, (or the game). Would you like to go with me?"

If you're sufficiently "cat-like" (the words are Mrs. Post's) you can really do quite a bit of shrewd pursuing without losing face,

And if you want to be Miss Popularity, you can no longer depend on a pretty face alone, she warns. Don't try to be like the belles of yesteryear, for being ornamental won't attract the boys much if you're also useless. No, girls in this modern world, Mrs. Post finds it not only good manners for a woman to be capable, and interested in almost everything but darned good sense as well!

If you dance — and she considers this very important -be sure you do it well. If you can't dance, and wisely avoid trying to learn at the expense of partners’ feet-you can smooth your social path by be ing a good bridge player.

The growing interest in cards has brought forth some sound advice from this autoerat of manners. If you are only a "veneered gentleman, the stresses and excitement of a card game are very likely to melt your veneer, she warns, And politer friends will see through you if you let a greedy glitter shine from your eyes when you win, or an envious sneer curl your lip when you lose. And - never throw down your bridge hand and say: "The rest are mine"! — Oakland Tribune, 1937

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia