Post-Halloween Behavior of Children

NEW YORK (AP) Halloween, among the most profitable holidays in the year for candy sales, can be a nightmare for parents and teachers of certain children, says the medical director of an institute for children with learning problems.

“Too many too-sweet treats can turn some usually agreeable children into monsters at home and in school,” says Dr. Jerome Vogel, medical director of the New York Institute for Child Development.

“Many children simply cannot handle the over-large doses of sugar in Halloween candy,” explains Vogel. “Too much sugar can cause irritability, disruptive behavior, decreased attention span and loss of concentration. Headaches and stomach aches are also very common to children the day after Halloween. Parents and teachers have told us they dread this post-Halloween period; there are arguments and fights at home, and classes the next day are virtually unmanageable, with children agitated and restless,” he adds.

The institute, founded in 1968, is a non-profit, diagnostic and treatment facility that focuses on the physical factors that can interfere with learning and affect behavior. In dealing with over 3,000 children with learning problems, the institute has found that nutrition can play a major role in many learning and behavioral problems. Vogel suggests offering less “tricky” treats such as high protein, low-carbohydrate snacks like raisins, cashews, almonds, popcorn, assorted cheeses, apple juice, or apples, which are in peak season at Halloween-time.— Santa Cruz Sentinel, 1982 

Halloween Spirits Filled Evenings with Happiness and Fun in the Early 1900’s 

Jollity was the motif of the party enjoyed last evening by the Christian Endeavor society members of the First Congregational church when they were entertained with Hallowe’en high jinks at the home of the Misses Grace and Florence Polkinghorn on South Lime street. 

The hostesses were assisted in entertaining by Miss Marguerite Holland. All the games and stunts of the season were introduced for the pleasure of the guests and of special interest was the fortune teller’s booth, presided over by Miss Norene Moore. After an hour of instrumental and vocal music, refreshments were served by the hostess. - Riverside Daily Press, 1917

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Poor Manners Equal Poor Business

Reason For Some Failures

For the average man success frequently depends more upon his manner and appearance than upon his knowledge of his trade or business, or, one might also say, of his profession. A Chicago newspaper has lately been noting some failures and their causes. It cites the case of one man who was a successful saleman in a business house in Chicago, but was unable to get any customers when sent on the road. The general manager of the business went to lunch with him one day, to talk over the matter. 

The man crumbled crackers into his soup until it was thick and then ate the mixture from the end of his spoon in great mouthfuls. When the meat was served, he shoveled it in with his knife, and had finished eating and was noisily picking his teeth almost before the manager had begun his meal. In reply to a question, he told the manager that he always took his customers out to lunch, and used every method to win their confidence and friendship. 

The manager then said, “You couldn't sell me a stick of gum. No man whose personal habits are so obtrusively vulgar as yours could have the slightest influence with me. Had I lunched with you before sending you out on the road, I would never have disgraced our house by giving it such a representative.” These words hurt, but the man profited by them, and today is one of the most gentlemanly as well as one of the most successful salesmen on the road. 

Another case cited is that of a minister whose unrefined manners annoyed his women relatives. They tried to help him, but he resented their suggestions, and men less able intellectually, but with more of the graces of refinement in their manners, were called to the opportunities for service in the pulpits of the large and influential churches. 

They used to teach manners in the old days. Now there is little formal instruction. If a youth does not learn good manners at home, he has to pick them up when he gets out into the world, or else be handicapped. Great geniuses have commanded respect in spite of boorishness, but it is never safe for a young man to assume that he is a genius.– San Pedro Daily News, 1906

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Wartime Manners Quiz

Should you learn to recognize the insignia of the different branches of service?

Mind Your Manners

Test your knowledge of correct social usage by answering the following questions, then checking against the authoritative answers below:

1. Is it manners to criticize he slacks or overalls worn by women in defense corps?

2. Should you learn to recognize the insignia of the different branches of service?

3. Should you use the phrase “just a private”?

4. Should you criticize the busy mother of small children for not doing war work outside the home?

5. Should you wonder out loud why such and such a young man isn't in the army?

What would you do if:

You are in a theater where the Star-Spangled Banner is played as a finale-

(a) Get up and leave?

(b) Stand the whole time it is being played?

 

🪖 🎖️🪖 🎖️ 🪖 🎖️ 🪖 🎖️ 🪖 🎖️ 🪖 🎖️ 

 

ANSWERS

1. No. They are doing important work and their clothes are suitable for that work.

2. Yes. If you don't already know.

3. No. Don’t belittle a private by saying “just a private.”

4. No.

5. No.

Better "What Would You Do" solution-(b).

 

– The Imperial Valley Press, 1943 

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Wartime Etiquette Advice

After Pearl Harbor was attacked on December 7, 1941, teens in the the United States were anxious to help out, but were advised to finish their educations and help in the war effort.  

Manners Matter: 

How to Serve Now in the Emergency

• Cooperate with the school and don’t get panicky.

• Keep up your morale.

• Attend strictly to business. 

• Keep calm and obey instructions.

• Inform the government of any service which you can offer which will be of value.

• Stay in school and complete your education so that immediately upon graduation you will be able to go into industry to produce defense goods.

• Cooperate thoroughly during all air raids. 

• Stay at home after dark.

• Don’t be wasteful of paper.

• Buy defense bonds and stamps.

• Take all courses available in first aid, nursing, and mass feeding.

• Don’t use your cars unless absolutely necessary.

• Sign up for civilian defense as an air-raid warden to relieve older people who are needed in more important jobs.

• Anyone who is interested in offering his services as an air-raid warden should sign up with Mr. Thomson. - Tamalpais News, December, 1941

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You’re Judged by Poor Table Manners

“If she can’t even eat a hot dog properly she might crumble crackers in her soup.” – Do you think that one does not need good manners for eating something like a hot dog? Good manners are always required, regardless of what one is eating! In 1939, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt and First Lady Eleanor served hot dogs and beans to King George VI and Queen Elizabeth of England. The King was said to have enjoyed them them and even asked for “seconds!”

Hot dog etiquette is basically the same as sandwich etiquette:

• Eat it slowly, taking small bites, one at a time. 
• Eat from one end to the other, holding the hotdog sideways.
• Chew and swallow before taking another small bite. 
• Do not “over dress” your hot dog in the bun, so that dressings are falling into your lap or getting on to your face or clothing.
• Do not talk with your mouth full. 
• Use a napkin to dab your lips often.

   

People Judge You By Your Table Manners

Jim won’t be seen again with Bertha, that’s certain. It’s a safe bet that any girl who talks with her mouth full has other embarrassing manners, too. If she can't even eat a hot dog properly she might crumble crackers in her soup. Or prop her silverware against the edge of her plate, when she's done instead of laying it neatly across. Or grasp her water goblet around the top rather than by stem and lower part of bowl.

Too bad she ruined this promising relationship just by eating her hot dog incorrectly. Maybe you, too, are misjudged for small etiquette errors. Brush up with the help of an etiquette book which tells how to eat, what implements to use, what to say and do wherever you are at home parties, restaurants, clubs, dining-cars, and other public places. – From the S.A. Journal, 1936

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1930’s Dating Etiquette Advice

See her scrambling into Ed’s car without letting him open the door politely! He’ll never forgive her for making the passersby, whom he knows, think he has no manners. 

   

Do You Embarrass Your Escort?

Hettie’s a one-date girl and here's why. She makes her unlucky escort look foolish because she doesn’t know her etiquette. See her scrambling into Ed’s car without letting him open the door politely! He’ll never forgive her for making the passersby, whom he knows, think he has no manners. 

She embarrasses every young man she’s gone out with by speaking of him as her “boy friend” rather than as a “a friend of mine” or “a man I know.” At introductions she says, “Pleased to meet you,” instead of the approved, “How do you do.” She neglects thanking him for a pleasant evening. Men judge girls by just such etiquette errors.– Santa Ana Journal, 1936

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Halloween Manners and Safety

Ring the doorbell only once, followed at an appropriate interval by a knock, then leave if there is no answer.

Halloween Tips

Halloween is a festive time for children, but sometimes fun can turn to cruel tricks like when people tamper with treats. That is the criminal act which will generate most of the news stories next Nov. 1, but lots of other dangers will also be around and about that night. A caring parent or guardian can do much to lessen the chances that their child will become a statistic. Let common sense prevail. There is a big difference between fun and vandalism, but to the innocent victim of either, the end result might be traumatic. 

Don’t be pushy or grabby when trick-or-treating, and open and close your visit to each home or business with a greeting and a thank you. Many persons on fixed incomes can’t afford the money it takes to buy the extras needed for the evening. Those persons, often the elderly, need not be embarrassed. Such people should keep their front porch light off. Children and their chaperones will understand. Here are a few tips and hints about costumes, the home, adults accompanying groups of children, where groups should venture, when they should visit and perhaps most important what to do with treats before they are consumed. 

COSTUMES

• Wear a costume that fits, one that makes it easy for you to walk unhindered, and one in which you can see and be seen. 
• Don’t wear billowing or flammable costumes. 
• Use reflective tape on your costume so that people driving cars can see you. 
• Wear everyday shoes, not poorly fitting “costume” shoes. 
• A face mask has many hidden dangers. Use makeup if at all possible. If you “must” wear a mask, take it off when crossing a street so as to get a clear view of traffic. 
• Don’t use flowing, flammable false-hair wigs which can burst into fire. 
• Stay away from jack-o-lantern candles. 
• Don’t carry real or make-believe weapons, even if one is appropriate for the attire worn (i.e. pirate with a dagger). 

MANNERS

• Be quiet and cautious around dogs, even your own pets.
• Walk on clearly-marked paths or driveways, not on lawns or flower beds. 
• Ring the doorbell only once, followed at an appropriate interval by a knock, then leave if there is no answer. 

YOUR HOUSE

• Leave your porch light on as a welcome, and there is no need to be “over” generous in giving out treats. One per child is enough. 
• Have a party for neighborhood children if you feel so inclined. 
• Remove porch obstacles from the path of children, or merely to protect against vandals. 
• If you made a homemade treat to be given out, place it inside a small bag and attach your name. It’s a safety net for the parents of the children, but it will also give those same parents a chance to drop you a “thank you” note. 

COMPANIONS

• The safest way to go trick-or-treating is with an adult, or a responsible teenager, such as a brother or sister of one of the youngsters. 
• Know which friends your children will be accompanying on their rounds, and know the path that they are taking in case of an urgent need to contact them. 

WHERE

• The best place to go trick-or-treating is in a neighborhood that you know. 
• Travel only on well-lighted streets and, preferably, during daylight hours.
• Use sidewalks when available, but at other times walk on the left side of the road facing cars. 
• When crossing the street, do so only at corners, look both ways and observe all signal lights and/or signs. Be alert for cars turning. 
• Don’t enter a street from between parked cars. 
• Never enter the home of a stranger. 

TREATS

• Collect your treats in a light-colored bag appropriate for the size of the child. The bag should have a “reflectorized” design. 
• DON‘T eat any treat until returning home and having it checked for suspicious signs. Throw away candy not wrapped, or with the wrappers partially opened. 
• Wash all fruit before eating, and discard all loose popcorn. 

Play it safe this Halloween. Follow these tips, and this special day will be one remembered as a fun time by everyone. — By Floyd Tidwell, Sheriff, SB County, in the Lucerne Valley Leader, 1984

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Insulting Operators is Rude

   

The chief operator and the central-office girls of a telephone company went on strike because the company refused to take out the telephone in the residence of a prominent society woman who persisted in using abusive language toward the telephone girls, although requested and warned not to do so. – Image of Female Telephone Operator Wearing Earphones And A Mouth Piece. Circa 1911 from Pinterest

Prince Insults “Central,” is Given a Fine

Over in Wurzburg they have a proper and wholesome code of ethics with reference to correct treatment of telephone girls. Prince Charles, of Wrede, had the temerity to tell a telephone girl what he thought of the telephone service at Ansbach. For his indiscretion he was fined seven dollars by a court-martial. The Prince admitted he said that the Ansbach telephone office was a hog pen and that the girls evidently were reading novels between the switches. His only plea in extenuation was that he was exasperated over the bad service. 

It was conceded in the court-martial proceedings that the telephone service at Ansbach was superlatively bad. Even so, it was found that the Prince's telephone manners were superlatively bad in directing insulting remarks to the telephone girls. It were well if the same correct code of telephone manners were in vogue in this country. Even though the service at times may be exasperatingly bad, and even though the telephone girl apparently may be neglectful of her duty at times, these things do not excuse insulting, abusive language. 

Over in Wheeling, W. Va., a few days ago, the chief operator and the central-office girls of a telephone company went on strike because the company refused to take out the telephone in the residence of a prominent society woman who persisted in using abusive language toward the telephone girls, although requested and warned not to do so. Merely because a young woman is employed in a telephone exchange, where the public may talk to her in the course of telephone service, does not make it proper, gentlemanly or lady-like for patrons of the telephone to insult or abuse her. She is just as much entitled to considerate treatment as the exclusive Young lady in fine apparel in the most aristocratic home. -Morning Union, 1913

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Introductions and Good Impressions

A woman never rises when a man is introduced unless he's much older, very distinguished, or presented by a much older woman.

Poor Mabel! So eager to make a good impression! Instead, her ignorance of the etiquette of introduction surprises this young man—to say the least! 

A woman never rises when a man is introduced unless he's much older, very distinguished, or presented by a much older woman. She always rises when introduced to a much older woman. If she’s hostess she rises for all introductions.

A man always rises unless at the theater or any place where rising would be awkward. The general rule for introductions is to present a man to a woman, the younger person to the older. — Santa Ana Journal, 1936

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Early “Motor City” Manners

Men of affairs do not eat with their fingers nor elevate their feet in drawing rooms, so why revert to the custom of prehistoric times in the use of like-manners at the wheel of the automobile? Motorists who impress with their good manners in home, office or club seemingly throw their breeding to the four winds when they drive.  – 
Image source, Instagram account, City of Ontario Library Collection

Detroit’s Code Of Motor Manners

City ordinances are not necessarily repressive. They are meant to be of aid in the general movement of congested traffic. They are helpful if motorists, collectively, and to the driver individually. Any given automobile, thus, probably would be smashed to pieces every day were it not for the general protection provided by laws primarily for the benefit of all. Don’t, therefore, be in ignorance of traffic regulations. 

Men of affairs do not eat with their fingers nor elevate their feet in drawing rooms, so why revert to the custom of prehistoric times in the use of like-manners at the wheel of the automobile? Motorists who impress with their good manners in home, office or club seemingly throw their breeding to the four winds when they drive. 

They dent fenders through traffic crowding. They frighten pedestrians, and they blast their horns long and loud when a warning would be plenty. Their lack of good balance and care adds to the possibility of accident, and accidents come like lightning strokes. Don't therefore, have two codes of courtesy—one for company and one for home, club or office: you are in company when you drive your car in public streets. 

Courteous driving provides a definite insurance protection which otherwise cannot be bought. Accidents and wrecks will not descend upon the ordinarily driven automobile. Statistics show that a huge majority of mishaps result from speeding or from various other actions of carelessness or traffic rule violations. 

No record exists so far as a railway train having left its track to hit a motor car. The fact that automobiles must first get in front of trains to be hit adds emphasis to the deduction that the more careful and mannerly the motorist is, the more certain is the atmosphere of protection and safety he surrounds himself with. Don’t, therefore, be an obstacle in the path of progress of automobile good driving. – The Morning Press, 1917

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The Thermometer of Character

      

The oft quoted, Lord Chesterfield, was Philip Dormer Stanhope, the 4th Earl of Chesterfield. An acclaimed wit and admired man of his day, the British statesman was a diplomat and a scholar.

The Manners of a People

ARE the American people impolite? This is a question often asked by travelers, who, coming in contact with the people of other and older nations, are tempted to draw comparisons not always favorable to the American people. Doubtless the older section of the world are better behaved than the newer communities. This is true in our own country, but it does not follow that where men are better behaved they are more virtuous. 

It is a rule, but not without its exceptions, that manners indicate the man. They are the thermometer of character, the outward expression of the moral nature, but sometimes, as Emerson says, “they form at last a rich varnish with which the routine of life is washed, and its details adorned.” 

The strongest type of American has the poorest manners. He is not your well-dressed New Yorker, nor your pretty Philadelphian, but the robust man of the Western plains, uncultivated but rugged; not refined as to expression in social life, but with a big, warm, manly heart. He is as manly as the swift pony he rides. However, it is well to hold to the general rule that the manners of a people reflect the spirit and character of that people. 

A scholar may or may not be refined. Some scholarship is like raw sugar — it has never gone through the refining process. Once I took tea with one of the great men of the world. Fancy my surprise when he poured his tea into the saucer and supped it up like a child. That little act illustrated his character and gave me entrance into a strangely mixed personality. 

The basis of good manners is character which has been touched with culture. Chesterfield somewhere writes: “As learning honor, virtue is absolutely necessary to gain you the esteem and admiration of mankind, politeness and good breeding are equally necessary to make you welcome and agreeable in conversation and common life.” 

Politeness to the English people is a custom. Because it is a custom, it sometimes loses its influence. The barber furnishes his shave and the waitress her service with a conventional but certainly effective, “Thank you.” If you were to strike a cockney on the nose he would probably reply with a, “Thank you.” 

Naturally it was an Englishman Who said of Christ: “He was the first true gentleman that ever lived.” Politeness is kindness of manner; it is art and religion in one. It was Goldsmith who said of Johnson that he had nothing of the bear about him but his skin. To be a gentleman is to be a Christian, for manners are simply the character turned inside out. 

The manners of a people may be seen in the individual, in the toothpick man, the spitting man, the streetcar monopolist, the table pig, the man who never behaves in public places, whether in a hotel or a church. It may be seen in the fellow who easily loses his temper and “sasses back” in the many painful evidences of a lack of self-reliance and self-control. It may be seen in the ill breeding of women who are ignorant of taste in dress and in the social expressions of real intelligence.  

“Ladyhood is an emanation from the heart subtilized by nature.” To hear a pretty girl laugh and talk with painful loudness, to see the evidences of vulgarity in dress and manner, is to lead to the conviction that training in behavior was neglected in the home, or the school, or the social circle. Behavior has to do not only with society, but with life. It is just as necessary to be polite in business as it is in society. Many a man is a bear in the one and a Chesterfield in the other. 

Quoting Emerson again: “The highest compact we can make with our fellow is, ‘Let there be truth between us two forevermore. Our culture will be open to the charge of superficiality until it permeates behavior in the drawing-room, the streetcar, the theater, the funeral, the wedding and business.’”

Worship itself is behavior. It is being polite to God. It is a proper behavior in the presence of the Eternal. The first school of politeness is the home; It is a question whether children who are impolite at home will ever be trained in grace of courtesy outside of the home. 

I plead, then, for the cultivation of a courtesy which smoothes down the wrinkles of business turmoil, oils the machinery of trade and helps men to live together as brethren, not as beasts. I plead for the old, simple virtues of the lady and gentleman, not for elaborate adornment and superficial culture, but for the genuine cultivation of the true, moral nature expressed in manners, both gracious and good. Such a culture is not like the polish on the shoe, but like the gleam of a precious stone struck through and through with an arrow of silver light. – By Reverend William Rader for the San Francisco Call, 1904

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A 1951 Plea to Mend Manners

Early disposable picnic and camping utensils were wisely made from wood, not plastic. Wood remains a smart, natural choice over plastic, for the picnicking and camping world’s disposable dining implements, even 70 years after this article was written.

A resolution which many Californians might make, if the comments of the custodians of our state and national parks and of our highway authorities are any guide, is to mend their outdoor manners.

As our seashore, mountain and forest vacation areas fill up with some of the vastly augmented population which has poured into California during the past decade, it becomes more than ever necessary to pick up bottles, cans, paper and other litter and “leave a clean camp” for the next fellow.

At recent meetings where the 1951 vacation season was reviewed, speakers reported that, if anything, worse manners instead of better were on display during the past year. All agreed that unless manners are mended use of the park and recreation areas will become more disagreeable, may have to be curtailed.

Some authorities go so far as to wash their hands of the present generation and say the only hope of improvement is to inculcate good outdoor manners in the rising generation. But whether anything better can be expected from youngsters whose parents set them a horrible example in scattering picnic lunch and camp refuse far and wide, is debatable.

A little consideration and almost negligible effort is all that is required to do your bit in this regard. It is the decent, sporting thing to do and it is essential in a crowded world. Let's all review our conduct and if necessary resolve to mend our outdoor manners in 1952. -Regional News Service, San Francisco, December, 1951

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Camping Etiquette

Observe the state fish and game laws. 

-photo of C.C. Graber, circa 1930, from the Etiquipedia personal library

         

        RULES GIVEN FOR CAMPERS

You may be reasonably “wild and wooly” when you go camping in the National Forests of California, but don't leave your good manners at home. Take them with you. You need them more on your vacation than when you are at home. 

The rules for good manners, as given by the Unite States Forest Service, are easy to learn and are followed by all good sportsmen, good campers and good tourists. They are:

• First obtain camp fire permit. 
• Carry a shovel and ax. 
• Smoke only in camp.
• Put your fire dead out with water.
• Leave a clean and sanitary camp. 
• Observe the state fish and game laws.
• Cooperate with the Forest Rangers in reporting and suppressing forest fires. 

Practice these rules and preach them, too. – San Pedro News Pilot, 1930

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Critical Eyes Judge Manners

Kit isn't getting to first base socially. How could she with those atrocious table manners? Notice the stranglehold she has on her knife and fork.

Don't Blunder Unconsciously

Pretty as a picture! Full of pep! Yet Kit isn't getting to first base socially. How could she with those atrocious table manners? Notice the stranglehold she has on her knife and fork.

When she's reduced her steak to bits, she spears a piece, packs peas and potatoes on the back of her fork, starts the whole top-heavy load on a perilous journey to her mouth. And her elbows, raised like wings, strike terror to the ribs of fellow diners.

Acceptable table manners are inconspicuous ones. Well-bred people hold knife and fork lightly, the forefinger extending downward along he handles.

They cut one small piece of meat at a time, never pile several vegetables on the fork at once, keep elbows as nearly as possible at sides while eating. – Santa Ana Journal, 1937

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Rules for Perfect Guests

Author of “In the Royal Manner,” Paul Burrell is a former footman to the late-Queen Elizabeth II and butler to the late-Princess Diana. Though Diana died over a quarter century ago, her enduring popularity has been a constant. It has fueled worldwide interest and exhibits of her personal belongings and wardrobe, which had been auctioned off for numerous charities. Due to her beauty, charm and service to her country, throughout her time as a member of the British royal family, like the late-Queen Elizabeth II, Diana remains an international icon.– Image from an exhibit of Diana’s items, Diana collectibles and framed news’ accounts from Etiquipedia’s personal library and the Etiquette Sleuth blog

MIND YOUR MANNERS, PLEASE

 OR, 

THE ART OF BEING THE PERFECT GUEST

Imagine now that you are going to a party. I have compiled this guide around common etiquette dos and don'ts. Some are more obvious, but others I'm sure will surprise you.

It is advisable to be punctual at an engagement, although it is acceptable to be 10 minutes late, but no more. Traffic and taxis can delay and hamper anyone's arrival though. If you want to take someone with you to the event, it is common courtesy to check with your host beforehand. (If you are hosting a party, and one of your guests brings a friend, there is nothing you can do about it other than to greet them warmly, then address the situation with your inconsiderate guest at a later date.) 

It is polite to take along a small gift for the host or hostess such as flowers, after dinner chocolates, wine or champagne. I have often found a perfumed candle to be a guaranteed success.

There are a few basic rules which should be observed at any dining table.

• Unfold your napkin once you are seated and place it on your lap, and use it to wipe your mouth and fingers during the meal. At the end of the meal it is polite to leave the napkin tidily on the place setting - not scrunched up on the floor!
• The host will always give you a clear indication of when to start the meal. They may begin with a few words of welcome, or Grace, and traditionally the lady sitting on the right of the host is served first, then the rest of the table in a clockwise direction. 
• A knife and fork should be held with the handles in the palm of the hand, forefinger on top, and thumb underneath. Forks should not be turned over unless tackling peas, rice, sweetcorn kernels, or suchlike, in which case transfer the fork to the right hand. 
• At an informal meal, buffet or barbecue, it is of course perfectly acceptable to eat with just a fork.
• It is unwise to use your bread to mop up sauces, although this is customary in other parts of Europe.
• A sweet can be eaten with a spoon and fork, or just a fork if it is of cake-like consistency.
• Rest your knife and fork in between mouthfuls by leaning the knife and fork on the edge of the plate. Only when you have finished should you place them side by side in the centre of the plate.

Should your host present a completely inedible dish, I would suggest that the best course of action is to at least make some attempt at disguising your disgust. Cut it up and move it around your plate a little - perhaps no one will notice. More obviously slurping, burping, picking teeth and licking fingers are particularly unattractive, although it is acceptable to pick up meat on the bone such as chicken legs and spare ribs. It is the only way to eat them. Have a napkin and finger bowl on standby for messy fingers.

Remember that you haven't been invited to dinner just to eat, the evening would be more enjoyable if you made polite conversation, however small, to those sitting on your right and left, and make sure you give both sides equal attention. Don't talk with your mouth full, or sit with your elbows on the table. – From “In the Royal Manner,” by Paul Burrell, 1999 

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How to Eat Difficult Foods

This is a fun read with easy recipes and good tips on dining etiquette — CAVIAR & TOAST Using a small knife, lightly cover the end of the toast with caviar. Sometimes, caviar is served in small pots, in which case it should be eaten with a teaspoon. 

Impress your friends by tackling awkward and difficult food with confidence and professionalism! I have listed below a selection of notoriously difficult foods and suggest how I might tackle them:

ARTICHOKES Take off the leaves one at a time using your fingers, and dip the fleshy base of each leaf into the sauce provided. Strip off the flesh with your teeth and discard the rest on the edge of your plate. The leaves near the heart have no flesh. Eventually, the centre core will be exposed, then scrape away the thistle' at the base and eat the rest with a knife and fork.

ASPARAGUS Pick up each spear spear with your fingers and dip it in the sauce provided. There should be at least two bites before you get to the woody end - do not eat the last 5cm/2in of the stem place the end of the stem on the side of your plate, not the side plate.

CAVIAR & TOAST Using a small knife, lightly cover the end of the toast with caviar. Sometimes, caviar is served in small pots, in which case it should be eaten with a teaspoon.

CHEESE Never cut the tip off a wedge of cheese. Cut along the length, leaving the wedge in a similar shape. Use a hard steel-bladed knife for cutting hard cheese, and a smaller knife for soft cheese.

CORN ON THE COB Not the easiest food to eat in public. Small handles may have been provided at either end of the sweetcorn, thus enabling you to nibble away like a mouse! Otherwise pick up with your fingers. Have a napkin on hand for the dripping butter.

CRAB The meat will have been dressed and replaced in the shell. The claws may be served along with a nutcracker-style tool to crack them open, and a metal pick with which to pull out the meat from within the cavities.

LOBSTER Normally presented to you cut in half lengthways. The most difficult aspect of eating lobster is extracting the flesh from the claw. You will be provided with the correct implement to do this. It is a messy business, you should also be provided with an extra napkin and a finger bowl.

MUSSELS Usually you will be presented with a mountain of mussel shells, gaping open to reveal small orangy pieces of meat. Take a large shell and use it like a pair of tweezers to pull out the mussels from their shells. A separate bowl will be provided for the empty shells. You can use a fork if you prefer. Use a spoon to eat the remaining stock.

OYSTERS Squeeze lemon juice over the raw oyster, then use a small fork to detach it from its anchor and 'drink' the oyster from its shell.

PRAWNS (WHOLE) Pull off the head, detaching it from its shoulders. Turn over and peel away the shell, removing the egg sac and legs. The tail shell will detach easily and you will be left with the body to eat. A finger bowl and napkin will be provided for you to freshen your fingers.

SOUP Push the spoon away from you and sip from the spoon. Always tip the bowl away you, and never put the whole spoon in your from mouth.

SPAGHETTI Spear a fork into the spaghetti, and twist it round until a ball begins to form. As you eat from the fork, bite off all residual strands, letting them fall back on to the plate - you may want to use a spoon as well to help you.

WHITEBAIT These little fish are cooked whole and eaten just as they are - eyeballs included! — From “In the Royal Manner,” by Paul Burrell, 1999 

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Bad Table Etiquette Cuts Off Friendships

  

Firmly, Nancy places a large piece of bread on the table cloth, plasters it thick with butter.

They wont dine out again! 

Bob stares at Nancy’s hands in fascinated horror. Firmly she places a large piece of bread on the table cloth, plasters it thick with butter. Then she lifts the whole piece to her mouth, leaves teeth marks in its buttery surface whenever she takes a bite. Surely Nancy knows that the only correct way to eat bread is to break off and butter a small piece at a time, just enough for a mouthful. 

Careless table manners —so easy to avoid —offend others most. Are YOU ever guilty of: 

• Pouring salt for celery or radishes on table cloth instead of plate?

• Dropping olive pits into ash trays? 

• Hanging knife and fork off edge of dinner plate so they tumble onto table when plate is removed?

            –The Santa Ana Journal, Home Service, 1937

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Silver in 1947 America

   

This advertisement not only is for the silver, but for “The Unusual Etiquette Book,” “Every-day service and the etiquette of entertaining,” by Diana Beningfield. It was promoted and published by Wallace Silver, as were several other etiquette and entertaining books over the years.

Silver and You

Today, the average American enjoys silver possessions that would have been virtually unknown to all but royalty and aristocracy in days gone by. The magnificence of the silver pieces, available to women in our country, would have stirred the wonder and envy of queens. Nowhere in the world, not even in Europe, is silver so attainable to so wide a number of people.

In a land, therefore, that has enabled silver to become the property of all who love beauty, it is particularly important that your silver have the individuality and character that keep it in the realm of rare and precious things. Its mood must be your mood-vivacity or serenity, simplicity or grandeur. Your silver pattern must be created to give this mood its fullest, most radiant expression.

The subtle desire to achieve this reflection of your own personality, colors everything you buy. One of the nicest compliments friends can bestow as they visit you in your home is to say: "What a delightful background your home creates for you." The work, the patience, the time you put into decoration and the acquiring of choice possessions are now more than repaid, for you know you have succeeded in giving expression to your love of beauty by investing your surroundings with the aura of your individuality. This is true of clothes, too. How often have you been urged to stop in at a little hat shop, or dress salon, to view a model on display because "it looks just like you."

The definite association which the character of your loveliness has impressed upon people's minds is perhaps most vividly exemplified in the silver you select. Though you may vary the decorative scheme of your home, and even discard the hat or frock, your silver is a lifetime possession. More than anything else, it says to all who cross your threshold, "This is the beauty that is an indelible part of my life, for it will give lasting satisfaction to my deeper aesthetic nature." 

When you pour the morning coffee, or reign as hostess at a dinner party, your silver is a reflection of you, of the value you place in quality, of the beauty you cherish and live by, of the romance that colors each of your days. That's why your silver pattern must be selected with care and affection. It must embody the mood and the meaning of your personality. And it must be sterling. So the choosing of your sterling pattern becomes an exciting adventure in your pursuit of happiness.– From Wallace Beauty Moods in Silver, by William Warren, 1947

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Historic Importance of Silver

A Halloween themed table-scape is shown in a a Wallace Silver advertisement from the early 1900’s

The Romance of Silver:

Queen of Metals Through the Ages

Since the day the first silver deposit was discovered, many centuries ago at the very dawn of civilization, silver has been desired and cherished perhaps more than any other metal. Its serene loveliness gleams through the pages of history, mantling all whose lives it touches with an aura of romance and distinction.

In the past, only the wealthy, the kings and the nobility, could boast possessions of silver. The rest of the world, for the most part, rarely even beheld it. Silver was far too precious and costly for all but the most patrician of households. Its value reached almost legendary proportions. 

Great emperors accumulated silver treasures to bestow upon royal neighbors whose warlike ways they feared, or whose friendship they sought. Courtiers who found favor in a ruler's eyes were honored with gifts of silver. Beautiful ladies were courted and wooed with tokens of silver. And when nights of revelry marked the life of the palace or castle, guests were able to gauge the power and fortune of their host by the resplendent silver that formed the background for sumptuous banquets.

Yet, despite the limited number whose wealth and position enabled them to enjoy its beauty, silver has come down to us as a shining symbol of gracious living. In Biblical times, to greet a guest with supreme elegance and friendship was to offer him a silver goblet from which to drink and quench his thirst. When Homer sang in ancient Greece, his listeners toasted the bard's immortal poems with libations drunk from vessels wrought of silver- and the rewards they pressed upon him were often silver wine cups.

But the shining spell that silver cast from the dawn of civilization was not confined to articles of aristocratic appointments only. Women, with their instinctive love of adornment, have always been intrigued by its flattering complement to the person. In ancient Egypt, India, Greece and Rome, rings, bracelets, anklets, earrings and discs of this gleaming metal bedecked the lady of rank. This was her wealth.

The radiant luminosity of silver seems to have shone with particular effectiveness from the hair. Silver diadems of almost prehistoric vintage have been unearthed in Spain. Delicate filigree headdresses, elaborate coiffures interlaced with silver discs and charms were, and in many cases still are, beloved feminine decoration in China, Tibet and the mystery-shrouded recesses of the far-off Himalayas.

Silver made its entry, too, into the realm of music, for it was found to bequeath a depth and richness of tonal quality. The two trumpets which guided the ancient Israelites from Egyptian slavery into the Land of Promise, were fashioned of solid silver.

Images of the gods and goddesses of antiquity were carved in silver. Temples were richly adorned with it. The metal became so indigenous a part of religious ritual in ancient times, that in Ephesus, a city in Asia Minor, the silversmiths' guild, headed by Demetrius, fought the advent of Christianity, fearing its effect upon their trade. Diana was the goddess of the Ephesians, and Demetrius rallied his fellow-craftsmen to what he termed the danger not only to their craft but to the temple of their patroness. But the use of silver in churches, cathedrals, temples and mosques grew steadily greater. Pillars, massive screens, entire chapels were sometimes coated with silver.

Empires rose and fell, civilizations flourished and decayed, but the reign of the Queen of Metals continued, its glory undimmed, its prestige unchallenged. In the Orient, potentates and Maharajahs, whose reign extended over vast stretches of territory and millions of people, put their wealth into silver. Its estate value continues to this very day. Objects of silver are precious heirlooms, handed down from generation to generation.

Silver is also the metal of gracious living and pride in possession a stamp not merely of wealth, but of culture. Wherever men seek to imbue their lives and homes with lasting loveliness, silver is honored above all metals. – From Wallace Beauty Moods in Silver, by William Warren, 1947

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Letters of Introduction

In the gilded age, letters of all types, including letters of introductions, were commonplace. Men and women alike were praised for excellence in penmanship. This letter from the Meriden Britannia silver company above is from 1893. - Image source, Etiquipedia private library.

In the giving of letters of introduction, permission should first be granted even in the case of intimate friends, as the introduction of a person whom you do not know thoroughly and well is attended with danger in many cases, and more particularly when the presentation is made by letter, as the written words always appear to carry more weight with them than the spoken ones, and the recipient of such an epistle feels in duty bound to show the newly introduced every courtesy that lies either in his or her power.

Many unpleasant happenings have resulted from unthinking good heartedness that prompted the letter without inducing a careful study of the one to whom it was given. Many letters of introduction are presented in person, but the more elegant way is to send them by messenger or post, accompanied by the card of the person conferring the introduction and your own with your address on it. A visit should be made within a week after the arrival of the letter by the person receiving it if the acquaintance is desired. —Philadelphia Times, 1893

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

“Social Precedence” Becomes Fad

Even though the new country had thrown off the yoke of the British monarchy fewer than 130 years earlier, by the Edwardian era and Edward VII’s reign, many Americans were not only enthralled by the British aristocratic class system and monarchy, but marrying into it in large numbers.

A 2nd Look at the Growth of Monarchical Customs at the Nation's Capital

Other parts of the country may be amused by the wrangling and heart-burnings incident to the coronation of King Edward, but Washington follows them with serious and sympathetic interest. Only a few Americans have any idea of the rigid system of etiquette which has grown up at the national capital. 

The other day a high officer of the government said: “My daughter went to lunch with the daughter of Secretary yesterday. She did not come home until long after she was expected, and her mother asked her what was the matter. ‘Oh,’ she said, ‘Secretary’s daughter was there, and none of us could go until she left, and we thought she never would go.’ And I find that precedent is carried out in the strictest possible way all through Washington society in all of its sets, down to the very children.”

If there are any persons in official life in Washington who do not attach importance to precedence, do not resent being seated out of rank at table or in other ways given less than their exact official amount of deference, these persons keep extremely quiet. In Washington one ceases to be surprised at hearing of persons of national reputations complaining fiercely because they have been to some trivial slight in this matter of precedence. It irritates a cabinet officer to be put a shade out of his rank just as much as it irritates a congressman from nowhere or a government clerk.

Precedence is killing Washington as a place of residence. It is destroying its chief charm. If one thinks of going there to live it is because he expects to have the opportunity to meet in the easy circumstances of social intercourse people who are interesting or amusing or curious. That social intercourse is becoming practically impossible. No one giving any sort of entertainment, however informal, dares to arrange his or her guests according to congeniality. The same people must always be put next to each other. The same man must take the same woman into dinner. The same youth must dance with the same girl. And as official life expands the blight of precedence spreads.

It is difficult for an outsider to listen without laughing or showing irritation, as the Washingtonians discuss precedence and relate incidents of national and international catastrophes almost brought about by violations of it. But as some of the persons who most strenuously insist upon it are otherwise high above the human average, it would be well, before utterly condemning the Washingtonians, to reflect whether the craze for precedence is not a universal human weakness, latent– happily latent – in most of us because it has no chance to show itself.

However, if Washington is to be saved as a residence city, some scheme must be devised where under precedence and its complications and its depressing influences shall be confined to formal international functions for the diplomatists, who are primarily responsible for the present state of affairs.- New York Times, 1902

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Japanese Coronation Festivities

                                         

In some Monarchies, Kings and Queens are crowned. In others, they are enthroned. When one is enthroned, a crown is not placed on the head. Today, of all European Monarchies, “only the United Kingdom still retains its coronation rite. Other nations still crowning their rulers include Bhutan, Brunei, Cambodia, Lesotho, Swaziland, Thailand, and Tonga, as well as several subnational entities such as the Toro Kingdom.” – From British Library Blog 

Woodblock print depicting legendary first emperor Jimmu, who saw a sacred bird flying away while he was in the expedition of the eastern section of Japan. – Public domain image of  Jimmu, Japan’s first Emperor

TOKIO, Feb. 11, 2 p. m.— Today, the anniversary of the Coronation of the first Emperor of Japan, is being generally celebrated throughout the empire, the war successes giving additional zest to the celebration. Tokio and all the principal cities are decorated. The Emperor received at lunch a party including the nobles, officers and Diplomatic Corps, numbering in all 600. 

The Emperor toasted the powers represented at the luncheon, and Baron d'Anethan, ambassador from Belgium and Dean of the Diplomatic Corps, responded on behalf of the foreign representatives. Count Katsura, Premier of the Empire, responded for the Japanese government. – By Associated Press, 1905

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia