Etiquette, Emily Post and BBQ

On Martha's Vineyard, Emily Post was accused of “losing it” when she served members of the Garden Club barbequed meats, rather than the anticipated tea sandwiches. When town members gossiped about her social gaffe, she responded that grilled meats seemed more festive for the occasion than “old-fashioned ladies food.”

Make sure your barbecued meats are festive, especially if you are serving it with tea. After all, who really wants “old-fashioned ladies food” at a garden tea party?

Since the time when men were hunters and gatherers, the meat of their hunts was cooked or roasted over an open fire for family members and others of their tribes to enjoy, so barbecues are nothing new. 

According to Margaret Visser, “The word ‘barbeque’ is derived from the word ‘barbacoa,’ a word used by the Taino Indians in the Caribbean to describe an elevated wooden rack on which they slow-smoked fish, lizards, alligator, and other game.”

A Sampling of Taino Etiquette 

Etiquette, respeto and educación are important components of Taino Indian social structure and interaction. People believe that directness is rude and use a variety of euphemisms and dodges to avoid it, making indirection an important strategy. 

Friends customarily greet by kissing each other, and engaging in animated conversation is viewed as a social asset. Close friends are allowed a certain directness, but try to maintain the boundaries of respect, preferring people who are publicly expressive, but not excessively so. Social drinking is acceptable, but drunkenness is not.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia