Friday, July 21, 2023

Trousseau Monogram Etiquette



Earlier generations of women worked for years, almost from the time a daughter was born, to prepare the linen against her wedding day; and, obviously, it was impossible to know the groom's last name. – Above, “Mopsy.” Mopsy was a popular comic that started in 1939 and ran for several decades as a syndicated newspaper comic strip.

By the principle that rules the whole wedding tradition, all the bride's linen and silver should be marked, if at all, with her maiden initials. In the matter of the trousseau, there is an even more practical reason for it: Earlier generations of women worked for years, almost from the time a daughter was born, to prepare the linen against her wedding day; and, obviously, it was impossible to know the groom's last name. Cynics have suggested a modern reason, too— the eventuality of divorce— but anyone who marks a trousseau with this in mind should clearly not be getting married. — From Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948


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Thursday, July 20, 2023

Etiquette and Chauffeur Attire



The color of your chauffeur’s clothing depends, traditionally, on the “family” color, which is used also for the footman's liveries. The liveries and the automobile are often the same color.


Clothes for a Chauffeur

Note: Like other male members of the staff, the chauffeur should be clean-shaven.

The most formally dressed chauffeur wears breeches, cut very like riding breeches, high-laced shoes with leggings or puttees; and a coat that buttons high up under his chin like U. S. Army uniforms in the first World War; and, always, black leather gloves. The edge of a stiff white collar should be just visible above the collar of the livery. This used to be called the "French livery"; another version had a high V-neck and was worn with a plain black four in hand tie. Winter liveries are made of wool, usually in black, maroon, dark blue or bottle-green.

The color depends, traditionally, on the "family" color, which is used also for the footman's liveries. The liveries and the automobile are often the same color. Over the livery, in very cold weather, there is a long, double-breasted overcoat of the same material, which often has a fur collar, usually astrakhan. In summer, the chauffeur wears a livery cut in the same way as the winter livery but made of black or dark-gray alpaca. All liveries and overcoats have plain buttons of the same color as the cloth, or silver buttons which can be embossed with the family crest. 

A chauffeur's cap, in the same material and in the same color as the livery, with a patent-leather visor, completes the costume. If there is a footman, who sits in front next to the chauffeur, he is dressed exactly like him.— From Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 1948


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Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Fork History: From France to the U.S.


An individual Gorham, Chantilly pattern “bird set” for carving duck, quail or Cornish game hen-sized, individual birds. – Writing in Harper's New Monthly Magazine in 1868, James Parton explained: “From spoons, Jabez Gorham advanced to fruit knives, butter knives, thimbles, napkin rings and combs– the only articles commonly made by American silversmiths thirty years ago. Silver forks were then scarcely known in the United States. They had been an article of luxury among the nobility of France for a century or more, and had been introduced from that country into England; but in the United States, as recently as 1835, their use was confined to persons who possessed considerable wealth.


When Charles Lutwidge Dodson, under his pseudonym of Lewis Carroll, wrote the line, "They pursued it with forks and hope," he attributed it to the mild-mannered baker who was hunting the Snark to serve with greens. He might well have used the same line to describe the plight of many guests at contemporary Victorian dinners, where stern, social orthodoxy decreed that "a knife or spoon is never used when a fork will suffice." Judged by the controversy that raged through the press of the time, many of the guests relied more on hope than on the implement as they pursued ice cream, berries, and other elusive foods with the correct but ill-adapted fork.

But the arbiters of fashion were not alone responsible for the changing patterns of etiquette that brought a bewildering array of forks and spoons and knives to the late Victorian table; changing patterns of eating and entertaining, rapidly altering economic and social conditions, even an increasing abundance and availability of many foods, contributed to the new concept of the art of dining.

At the beginning of the Victorian period, silver services were comparatively simple, as was serving at the table. In the section devoted to "Furniture of the Table" in The American Chesterfield, published in 1828 in Philadelphia by John Grigg, the following extract describes table setting in a fashionable house:
  • Every person at table should be provided with knife and fork, plate, bread, etc… and, before every meat dish, a carving knife, fork and spoon; and a spoon before every dish of vegetables. 
  • At the corners of the table, spoons, a salt cellar, and small spoon for the salt; and, if pickles are there placed, a small knife and fork. 
  • If the table is large, the furniture of the corners should likewise be placed at short and convenient intervals. It has lately become common, in our Atlantic towns, and particularly at tables where light wines are used with water as a long drink, to place, at convenient distances around the table, bottles of Sauterne, Claret or other light wine (the corks slightly drawn and inserted slightly in the bottle) and goblets of water. 
  • This is found, by experience, to be an admirable arrangement for convenience, and gives the waiters more time to attend, among other duties, to the frequent changes of plates which modern refinement has introduced.
  • On the sideboard should be arranged, in order, all those articles of furniture which are necessary for the tableThese are, the great supplies of knives and forks, plates of different sizes, spoons, bread, etc…, etc… but, in a particular manner, the castors. 
  • These should always consist of five bottles, at least; viz; cayenne pepper, black pepper, mustard, vinegar and sweet oil. Let the castors be filled -not half filled-with condiments of good quality, that is, the sweet oil not rancid, nor the vinegar sweet, nor the pepper in grains like hailstones, nor the mustard stale; and one word more, madame, before we dismiss the castors-a little spoon for the mustard, though it be of wood-and-and-remember the salt spoons.
After a word of caution regarding industry among servants, and a discussion of the rules of waiting, The American Chesterfield continues:
  • If there is soup for dinner, according to the number of the company, lay each person a flat plate, and a soup plate over it; a napkin, fork, knife and spoon; and to place the chairs. If there is no soup, the soup plate may be omitted.
There can be no doubt that The American Chesterfield was directed toward the sons of American families of established wealth and position; that is made clear by the references to forks in the table settings. Writing in Harper's New Monthly Magazine in 1868, James Parton explained:
“From spoons, Jabez Gorham advanced to fruit knives, butter knives, thimbles, napkin rings and combs– the only articles commonly made by American silversmiths thirty years ago. Silver forks were then scarcely known in the United States. They had been an article of luxury among the nobility of France for a century or more, and had been introduced from that country into England; but in the United States, as recently as 1835, their use was confined to persons who possessed considerable wealth. They were not common at that time in any but the best hotels, and not one person in ten had ever seen them used.” — American Silver Flatware… 1837-1910, Noel D. Turner


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Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Brief History on Youth or Tea Utensils

Were this knife and fork for a child? Or for tea? – “As the family service increased in complexity, these smaller versions of the knife, the fork, and the spoon sometimes assumed dual roles in the catalogs and price lists of the silver firms, for, with no additional investment in dies, a separate listing enabled the manufacturer to increase the number of pieces he offered. Thus the child-size spoon was sometimes listed also as a "Five o'Clock Tea," an "Egg Spoon," Or an "English Tea"; the child's fork as a "Tea Fork," "Beef Fork," or "Fruit Fork"; and the knife with a flat, solid handle as a "Tea Knife" as well as a juvenile piece.”

"Every man was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth" has been a common explanation for uneven economic progress ever since Miguel de Cervantes wrote the line in Don Quixote in the 15th century, but it was left to the mid-Victorian silver manufacturers to reduce the statement to a mathematical formula. In an advertisement featuring Sterling Birthday Spoons, addressed to the jewelry trade at the turn of the century, R. Wallace & Son pointed out that "6000 babies are born each day-15% get silver spoons at birth." 

Silverware for children was not new to America; in a will dated April 18, 1726, the Reverend Timothy Stevens of Glastonbury, Connecticut, bequeathed "...to my son Joseph . .. three silver spoons, one of them to be a small or babe spoon, as it is called," and to his son Benjamin, among other things, three silver spoons, one of them to be a child's spoon.

"But it was only after the mid-1800s that plated and solid silver became common for the perambulator-to-prep-school set. Practically every manufacturer has made "Child's Sets" in all of the standard silverware patterns. Consisting, at first, of a small knife, fork, and spoon, the sets were available in almost every price range after the late 1860s. Some were elaborately packaged in satin-lined boxes; the less expensive plated sets were often mounted on lithographed cards, the cards themselves rivaling early Valentines in elaborate depictions of decorous childhood.

By the 1880s, a cup or mug, and a matching napkin ring, had been added to many of these sets, and it was an under-privileged child who had not received his own silverware by the time he joined the rest of the family at the dinner table. As the family service increased in complexity, these smaller versions of the knife, the fork, and the spoon sometimes assumed dual roles in the catalogs and price lists of the silver firms, for, with no additional investment in dies, a separate listing enabled the manufacturer to increase the number of pieces he offered. Thus the child-size spoon was sometimes listed also as a "Five o'Clock Tea," an "Egg Spoon," Or an "English Tea"; the child's fork as a "Tea Fork," "Beef Fork," or "Fruit Fork"; and the knife with a flat, solid handle as a "Tea Knife" as well as a juvenile piece. 

In the electroplated lines of better quality, a choice of a solid-handle knife or one with a hollow handle was usually offered; in the solid-silver lines, the hollow-handle knife was generally standard, although sets in which a flat-handled knife was mated with a small fork and spoon were offered by some companies. – American Silver Flatware 1837-1910, Noel D. Turner

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Monday, July 17, 2023

Albert I to Visit U.S.

The current reigning Monarch,  Prince Albert II of Monaco – Image source, Pinterest 

Will Be First Visit From Reigning European Ruler

NEW YORK, Aug. 30. That these United States are about to enjoy for the very first time in all their history the honor of a visit from a real reigning European sovereign is promised or threatened by the proposed landing here in the near future of Albert I, Sovereign Prince of Monaco and overlord world-famed and world-fed gambling resort Monte Carlo. Hitherto, we have had to content ourselves, so far as ruling Royalty is concerned, with the privilege of welcoming the late Emperor Dom Pedro of Brazil in 1876, and some years later Kalakaua, the King of the Sandwich Islands. 


It was during the life and reign of Queen Victoria that King Edward VII, then the Prince of Wales, made his memorable Another report, most interesting in this connection, is that King George and Queen Mary are contemplating a trip to Washington and New York before returning home from their tour of Canada next year. Already in official and social circles discussion has begun as to the honors due these distinguished guests will be and the etiquette that will befit the occasions, there being no precedent whatever for guidance. It is safe to assume, however, that his exalted rank will insure Albert I of Monaco against too critical examination by the immigration authorities as to his gambling connections and the summary deportation that might otherwise befall him.—Special to the Mercury-Herald. 1913


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Sunday, July 16, 2023

Royal Doings of 1892

Khedive was the title of the viceroy of Egypt under Turkish rule 1867–1914. — Public domain image of Ismāíl Pasha, Khedive in 1892

AROUND THE THRONES

For forty days after a Khedive's death food is served, with coffee and cigarettes. to all who visit the tomb.

The Prince of Monaco, of Monte Carlo fame, has been chosen to succeed the late Dom Pedro as a foreign associate of the French Academy of Science.

In accordance with Chinese etiquette all business of state requiring the Emperor's attention is transacted between the hours of 2 in the morning and 6.

An English governess is hereafter to educate the daughters of the King of Siam, and she will be rewarded therefor with a salary of £700 a year and a residence in the royal palace.

King Carlos has renounced 20 per cent. of his civil list, which amounts to 435,000 milreis per annum, in order to assist in the restoration of the embarrassed finances of the nation.

Max Alvary, the tenor who was so successful in "Siegfried" in New York that all the young women fell in love with his arms, has sung in "Tannhauser" twenty times at Hamburg this season, and is to sing the same role at Konigsberg. The Elizabeth will be Therese Malten, the famous dramatic soprano. — Enterprise, Volume III, 1892


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Saturday, July 15, 2023

Mayflower Meals and Manners

Sometimes it was better not to look. Rats and cockroaches were all over. Little insects—weevils, maggots, and grubs— chewed tunnels into the ship's biscuits. Some of the Pilgrims preferred to eat at night. In the dark, they couldn't see the bugs crawling on their food.

For sixty or sixty-six days the Pilgrims sailed across the Atlantic Ocean. The wind howled. The waves crashed against the sides of the little, crowded wooden boat. It was al- ways noisy. Inside the boat, people moaned, coughed, and shouted to make themselves heard against the roar of the wind and the creaking of the sails.

They were always cold and wet. Spray from the big ocean waves soaked everything on deck. Soon their clothes became stiff with salt left by the seawater.

There were a hundred and two passengers. Most of them slept crowded together in the main cabin. The ceiling was low. Anyone over five feet tall had to walk bent over.

Each person had only a tiny space in which to sleep, prepare food, eat, wash, and pile all his or her belongings. And everyone had tried to bring enough things to last a lifetime!

Blankets, rugs, pillows, quilts, sheets, furniture, boxes of clothes and linens, dishes, tools, guns, armor, cradles, pots, pans, and special keepsakes were piled up to the ceiling. The cabin was jammed!

It was hard for anyone even to move in there. And it smelled terrible. Hardly anybody washed— there wasn't enough fresh water. And even people who their hands and faces didn't wash their clothes. Most people never changed at all. They wore the same clothes for the whole trip.

The Saints and Strangers scratched and scratched, because lice and fleas lived in everyone's clothes and hair. There was no way to get rid of them.

Besides human beings and bugs, the Mayflower carried other passengers. Live rabbits, chickens, geese, and ducks were kept in a rowboat that was lashed to the deck.

There were also pigs, goats, and sheep on board. But no one got to eat them. The settlers hoped that these few animals would become the parents of large flocks and herds in America.

What did the Pilgrims eat during their long voyage? Most of the food on the Mayflower was cold and dry. There were moldy cheese and dried peas. Salty beef and dried fish.

And there were ship's biscuits-as hard as rocks. Hundreds of these biscuits had been carried onto the boat before it sailed. They were stacked in huge piles.

Ship's biscuits were made of wheat flour, pea flour, and water. They were flat and round, the size of dinner plates.

The stale biscuits were almost impossible to chew. But somehow people sucked and nibbled them down.

Cheese was different. It didn't get as hard as the biscuits. Instead, the cheese quickly turned green and moldy.

Dried peas were stored in sacks so the mice and rats that dashed all over the ship wouldn't eat them. The settlers ate some of the peas on board, saving the rest to eat when they got to America.

There were also sacks of turnips, parsnips, onions, and cabbages. Vegetables kept pretty well. They just got a little hard on the outside and a little soft on the inside.

Some days the Pilgrims ate smoked herring or dried, salted codfish. Other days they had pork or beef. Because fresh meat would have spoiled quickly, the Pilgrims' meat was preserved in salt and packed in barrels.

One of their favorite meats was neat's tongue— the tongue of an ox. They brought big boxes of dried ox tongues to eat on the trip.

Other boxes held spices— ginger, cinnamon, mace, cloves, nutmeg, and green ginger. These were very expensive, but the Pilgrims loved spicy food. And spices could cover up the bad taste of food that had begun to rot.

To wash down their salty, spicy meals, the Pilgrims drank beer, ale, wine, and even gin and brandy. They hated water. Even children drank beer.

Everyone on the Mayflower needed to drink often. When a family crouched around its mattress at meal-time, it was usually looking at cold, dry, salty food.

But sometimes it was better not to look. Rats and cockroaches were all over. Little insects—weevils, maggots, and grubs— chewed tunnels into the ship's biscuits.

Some of the Pilgrims preferred to eat at night. In the dark, they couldn't see the bugs crawling on their food.

Once in a while, each family got a treat: the chance to cook a hot dinner. Cooking usually wasn't allowed on the Mayflower. A stray spark could start a fire that might burn whole ship. up the

But there were three small, iron boxes filled with sand for people to cook in. These were called fire-boxes. The settlers took turns using them.

Sometimes they made labscouse— a thick soup of dried peas mixed with water and chunks of salty beef. The hot soup tasted delicious. And you could dip your hard biscuit into the soup to soften it. Little fat dumplings, called doughboys, were made by frying bits of wet flour in pork fat.

A real treat was burgoo-hot oatmeal and mo- lasses. Another was plum duff. Duff was a fatty pud- ding. Plum duff had raisins or dried prunes mixed in.

Hot food was special. Aboard the Mayflower, nobody had it often. Usually the Pilgrims ate cold, dry, buggy meals, drank beer, and dreamed of how well they would eat when they finally reached America, the land of plenty.
— From "Eating the Plates" by L.R. Penner


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Friday, July 14, 2023

Monaco: Elaborate Etiquette and Vice

Prince Albert I of Monaco, circa 1910
–Public domain image

 I wish I had leisure to speak at length of this astonishing state, smaller than a French village, but where one finds an absolute Sovereign, bishops, an army Jesuits and divinity students more numerous than that of the Prince, an artillery the ordnance of which is almost rifled, an etiquette more elaborate than that of the late Louis XIV, principle government more despotic than those of William of Prussia, and, in addition to all this, a magnificent toleration for the vices of humanity.

On the other hand, let us salute this virtuous peacefully disposed King, with fearing neither invasions nor revolutions, rules tranquilly over his happy little people in the midst of a court ceremonial, in which is preserved intact the tradition of four reverences, 26 hand kissings and all the forms observed in a bygone era in the presence of great rulers. This Monarch, above everything neither bloodthirsty nor revenge and when he banishes-for he does banish-the sentence is carried out with infinite tact.

Is it necessary to produce proofs of this? A pigheaded gambler, after a day of bad luck, insulted the sovereign. He was expelled from the country by Royal decree. For a month he roamed around the forbidden paradise, fearing the flaming sword of the archangel in the shape gendarme's saber. Finally he one plucked up courage, crossed the frontier, gained in 30 seconds the heart of the country and entered the Casino. But suddenly an official stopped him. "Were you not banished, monsieur?" "Certainly I was, but I am going back by the next train. " "Oh, in that case it is all right. You can enter, monsieur." And every week he returned, and on each occasion the same official put to him the same question, which he answered in the same fashion. But a few years ago a serious and entirely novel case arose in the principality. A murder had been committed.

A man, a native of Monaco, not one of the transient strangers of whom one meets legions, but a married man, in a moment of passion had killed his wife. He had killed her without reason,
without any extenuating circumstances. This opinion was unanimous throughout the whole principality. The supreme court met to judge this exceptional case, for never before had murder been committed, and the wretch was condemned to death. The outraged sovereign signed the death warrant.

It only remained to execute the criminal. But here a difficulty presented itself. The country possessed neither executioner nor guillotine. What was to be done? On the advice of the foreign minister, the Prince entered into negotiations with the French government to obtain the loan of a remover of heads and his apparatus. Long deliberations in the ministerial office at Paris. Finally they replied and forwarded a minute of expenses for moving the guillotine and for the services of the expert. The total was 16,000 francs.

"His Majesty of Monaco thought that the affair was going to cost him pretty dear; the murderer assuredly was not worth so much money. Sixteen thousand francs for the neck of a rascal! The devil! He then preferred the same request– to the Italian government. A King, a brother in Royalty, would doubtless not prove such a hard bargainer as a republic. The Italian government sent a minute of expenses which amounted to 12,000 francs.

Twelve thousand francs! Why, it would be necessary to impose a new tax, a tax of 2 francs a head on the inhabitants. That would be enough to stir up unknown troubles in the state. He contemplated decapitating the ruffian by an ordinary soldier. But the general, on being consulted, was doubtful whether any of his men had had sufficient sword practice to acquit themselves satisfactorily of a task demanding great experience in handling the weapon.

So the Prince again convened the supreme court and submitted to them this embarrassing position of affairs. The court sat a long time without discovering any practical solution. At last the president suggested commuting the death sentence into one of imprisonment for life, and the suggestion was adopted. But they had no prison. It was necessary to improvise one. A jailer was also commissioned who took charge of the prisoner.

For six months everything went well. The convict slept all day on a mattress in his hut, and his guard did the same on a chair just beside the door facing, the passersby. But the Prince is economical- it is his least fault- and requires the details of the smallest expenditures incurred throughout his dominions. Among these were placed before him the items of the disbursements relating to the creation of a new office, the maintenance of the prison, prisoner and jailer. The outlay on the last was a heavy drain on the Royal purse. His face lengthened visibly, and when he considered it might last forever, for the condemned man was still young, he insisted on his minister of justice taking measures to suppress this expense."

The minister held a consultation with the president of the tribunal, and the two agreed that the office of jailer might be abolished. The prisoner, required to guard himself all alone, would not fail to escape, and this would solve the question to the satisfaction of all. The jailer was thereupon sent back to his family, and one of the under cooks of the palace was simply required to carry, morning and evening, food to the prisoner. But that gentleman made no attempt to recover his liberty.

One day indeed when they had failed to provide him with nourishment he coolly presented himself to claim it, and henceforth it was his custom, in order to save the cook a journey, to come at meal hours and eat with the servants of the palace, with whom he had become friendly. After breakfast he would take a stroll as far as Monte Carlo. Occasionally he would enter the Casino and risk a few francs at play. When he won, he would treat himself to a good dinner at one of the leading hotels, then he would return to his prison and carefully lock the door from the inside. He never slept out a single night.

The situation was becoming difficult, not for the condemned man, but for his judges. Once more the court assembled, and it was decided that they should invite the criminal to depart from the states of Monaco. On this decision being communicated to him he merely replied: "I perceive you are joking. Come, now. Why should I go away, I, indeed? I have no means of living. I have no longer any family. What do you wish me to do? I was condemned to death. You didn't execute me. I said nothing. Then I was condemned to imprisonment for life and handed over to a jailer. You deprived me of my jailer. Still I said nothing. "Now you ask me to get out of the country. No, thank you. I am a prisoner, your prisoner, judged and condemned by you. I am carrying out my punishment faithfully. Here I stop."

The supreme court was dumfounded. The Prince flew into a terrible rage and ordered them to act. They applied themselves diligently to deliberating. The outcome was it was decided they should offer the prisoner a pension of 600 francs a year to live in another country. He accepted. He has bought a little inclosed plot of land within five minutes' walk of the realm of his former Sovereign; he lives happily on his estate, cultivating a few vegetables and holding potentates in contempt.-From the French of Guy de Maupassant in Romance, 1895


 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia