British Coronation Etiquette – William the Conqueror

The Normans introduced chivalry to Britain – Savage in their warfare, William and the Normans were more civilised in their politics. Before 1066, the English political elite had routinely resorted to murdering their political rivals, as they would do again in the later Middle Ages. But for more than two centuries after the Conquest, chivalry prevailed, and political killing became taboo. “No man dared slay another, no matter what wrong he had done him”, said the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle in its summary of the plus points of William’s reign. Waltheof of Northumbria, beheaded in 1076, was the only Earl to be executed after the Norman takeover. The next execution of an Earl in England occurred in 1306, some 230 years later. – From Medieval Archives.com

Remarkable incidents in this most important occasion of a British ruler’s life. Striking features of ceremony from the earliest day to the last great Coronation event of the 19th Century

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The Coronation of England’s William the Conqueror  

In the age of the Plantagenets, Tudors and under the Stuarts, until the Coronation of James II, it was customary for Kings to reside in the Tower of London for some time, previous to the Coronation. On the Saturday before the Coronation, the Sovereign went from Westminster to the Tower of London, attended by great numbers of the Nobility and civic dignitaries, and by those people who were to be Knighted, and who watched their arms that night. Each squire had a chamber allotted him, and a bath in which he bathed. The ensuing day after mass, the Sovereign created them Knights. After their investiture they were permitted to sit down in the King's presence, but during the whole time of dinner, they were rot allowed to partake of any part, of the entertainment. The Queens in their own right, Mary and Elizabeth, though they girded the swords on the Knights with their own-hands, did not give the accolade or blow, which is the determinate action that impresses the character of Knighthood. At both Coronations, Henry, Earl of Arundel, performed this office. A copy of his appointment is to be found in Rymer.

After William had taken the Coronation oath, to protect the church, prohibit oppression and execute judgment in mercy, Aldred put the question, “Will ye have this Prince to be your King?” The people answered with loud shouts, and the noise gave so much alarm to the Norman garrison in the city, that the soldiers, believing the English to have revolted, without waiting to make any investigation, immediately set the next houses on fire, which, spreading and giving a general alarm, most of the congregation rushed out of the church, the English hastening to stop the fire and the Normans to plunder. The bishops, clergy and monks, who remained within the church, were in such confusion that they were scarce able to go through the office of crowning the King. William himself, who saw the tumult, and could not conjecture its cause, sate trembling at the foot of the altar, and, though no great mischief was done by the fire, it laid the foundation of a long and inveterate enmity between the English and the Normans. –San Francisco Call, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Tibetan Tea Etiquette

A bowl of tsampa – From a skin full of butter, placed within convenient range, each person takes a piece of oleaginous compound and lets it melt into his bowl of steaming tea. Then, oh joy! Oh rapture! With furtive grasp he draws the nectar to his lips and heaven is opened unto him. The bowl is again filled, into the steaming liquid, he throws a handful of tsampa (parched barley meal) and drawing forth the sodden lump works in into a ball of brown dough with a deft movement of his left hand, and successively bites off pieces of this delicacy and drinks his buttered tea until the visible supply has vanished... – photo source, Pinterest

Tea forms one of the principal articles of commerce throughout Tibet and Mongolia. The native is miserable without it and when it cannot be obtained is willing to cheat himself by various expedients, such as boiling dried onion heads, herbs, or even an infusion of chips of wood in water, in order that he may not be. at least, without a suggestion cf his favorite beverage. The tea imported from China is pressed into small oblong-shaped bricks, made up into cases of nine bricks, securely sewn in rawhide, and not only is used as a beverage, but in fact, forms a staple of currency as negotiable as Bank of England notes or American paper currency. 

The native method of preparing this delicacy is not appetizing. The tea is first ground to a fine powder by vigorously pounding it in a mortar until no splints of wood or other impurities are visible to the eye: it is then put into the kettle when the water is hot, to boil ten or fifteen minutes. By way of giving increased flavor, salt or soda is added, and, this part of the operation being completed, the all-important business of drinking it commences. The family being gathered round the fire of yak-dung. In order that atmosphere, as the painters would say, should not be lacking, each one draws from some hidden recess in the folds of his voluminous sheepskin coat a little wooden bowl, and with a satisfaction which must be seen to be appreciated fills his private dish with the liquid. All this, however, is by way of preliminary. 

From a skin full of butter, placed within convenient range, each person takes a piece of oleaginous compound and lets it melt into his bowl of steaming tea. Then, oh joy! Oh rapture! With furtive grasp he draws the nectar to his lips and heaven is opened unto him. The bowl is again filled, into the steaming liquid, he throws a handful of tsampa (parched barley meal) and drawing forth the sodden lump works in into a ball of brown dough with a deft movement of his left hand, and successively bites off pieces of this delicacy and drinks his buttered tea until the visible supply has vanished, when, in order that his table etiquette may not be impugned, he licks his bowl clean, wipes what superfluous fat he has not got on his face on his boots, and eagerly looks forward to the moment when gods and fate shall again become propitious. — Outing News, 1904

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Ambassadorial Skills

Isaac Wayne MacVeagh was an American politician and diplomat. He was the Ambassador to Italy from March 1894 to March 1897, when King Humberto I reigned. The best Ambassadors keep abreast of not only a country’s current events, but the preferences and pleasures of its Monarch, Prime Minister or President. Following news feeds would have given Ambassador MacVeagh the following news nugget – “King Humberto of Italy has so great an affection for custards, and very sweet ones at that, that he will get up in the night to partake of one. To vary the custard eaten by ordinary mortals, however, this Royal personage has his flavored with tea.”

Ambassador MacVeagh
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King Humberto Gives Him a Cordial Welcome 

Rome, March 11– The Honorable Wayne MacVeagh, Ambassador to Italy, was given a cordial welcome and an audience this afternoon by King Humberto. In conformity with Italian court etiquette, no speeches were delivered. Mr. MacVeagh and his party returned to the Grand Hotel in the state carriages. Every ceremony due the high rank of the American Ambassador was paid to him. – Los Angeles Herald, 1894

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Presidential Etiquette and Thanks

In 1840, gold table settings became Presidential campaign issue. Helping William Henry Harrison, a simple frontiersman, grab the Presidency from Martin Van Buren. When Benjamin Harrison, his grandson, won the Presidency later, his wife, Caroline Harrison, wanted new White House china that would be “symbolic and meaningful to Americans.”  The First Lady, knowledgeable of the expected social graces of the day, was an artist herself. She placed the Coat of Arms of the United States in the center of the plates, and designed a goldenrod and corn motif, etched in gold around a wide band of blue. The corn represents Mrs. Harrison's home state of Indiana. Forty-four stars, one for each state at the time, make up the inner border. Mrs. Harrison directed a large-scale remodeling effort of the White House, adding a china closet to display all past Presidential china services. Caroline Harrison was not able to use the china she had ordered, as she died before it was delivered. The china arrived in December 1892.

A Card of Thanks from the President

“I desire for myself and for the ladies of our party, to give an expression of our thanks for many individual acts of courtesy, which, but for the pressure upon our time, would have been specially acknowledged. Friends who have been so kind, will not, I am sure, impute to us any lack of appreciation or intended neglect. The very excess of their kindness has made any adequate, and much more, any particular, return impossible. You will all believe that there has been no purposed neglect of any locality or individual. We leave you, with all good wishes for the State of California and all her people.”

– Benjamin Harrison

Originally published May 4, 1891 in the Daly Alta News, California 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Etiquette and a Royal Soup

A gratified Monarch, William I, or “William the Conqueror” reigned over England from 1066 to 1087  – In the famous “Bayeux Tapestry,” William the Conqueror is depicted enjoying a fine feast soon after his invasion of England in 1066. If you really wanted to fit into the Norman Court, you needed to mind your manners. You could learn the fine table manners of the day, from a number of etiquette manuals of that period. Daniel of Beccles’ 3000-line poem in Latin, “Urbanus Magnus” (The Book of the Civilised Man), provided an excellent guide to expected courtly behaviour. Medieval etiquette’s maxim was ‘A place for everyone and everyone in his place’. The advice Beccles wrote continues to be relevant; Don’t put your elbows on the table; Don’t lick your fingers; Don’t speak when your mouth is full. ; Belching and spitting were also frowned upon. Or at least if you were compelled to do either, it should be done in the correct manner. If you were to belch, you should look up to the ceiling ; You should never spit over the table but rather behind you or into a cloth; And you should never spit ‘like a rustic’ or ‘eat like a ploughman’. – from English Heritage.org

A Savory Soup Tickles His Palate — Changes Its Name 

William I had a fine sense of what was becoming at a royal table. He was so well pleased at one of his little dinners with a savory soup compounded by his cook, Tezelin, that he sent for him and asked how it was named. “I call it dillagrout” was the reply.” “A poor name for so good a soup” cried the King.  “Nathless”—everybody said “nathless” in those days— “we bestow upon you the manor of Addington.” – This manor, I may add, reverted to the Crown. In the reign of Henry III we find it in the hands of the Bardolfs, and held on the tenure of “making pasties in the King’s kitchen on the day of his coronation or providing someone as his deputy to make a dish called “grout,” and if suet (seym) was added, it was called “malpigernoun.” 

At James II’s coronation, the Lord of the Manor claimed to find a man to make a dish of grout in the royal kitchen and prayed that the King's cook might be the man. The claim was allowed and the claimant knighted. But what was this “grout?” Was it identical with Tezelin’s “dillagrout” and the Bardolfs’ “malpigernoun?” And was a pottage called “Bardolf,” of which a 14th century recipe has been printed by the Society of Antiquaries, identical with these? If so, as among the ingredients were almond milk, the brawn of capons, sugar and spices, chicken parboiled and chopped, etc., it was doubtlessly a dish for a King.— All the Year Round. – May 4, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorians and American Manners

The “insular British female” of a certain type, still holds her own and she is inveterate in her prejudices and as narrow in her views as her great-grandmother was a hundred years ago. To such a one, the sight of an attractive American is like the red flag shown to a bull.

The Adoption of American Manners Sometimes Causes Awkward Blunders

It certainly is a fact that in England nowadays, what are known as “American ways,” have obtained a widespread popularity among the ultra-fashionable people. Notwithstanding the decidedly radical change in British manners and customs during the last decade, the “insular British female” of a certain type, still holds her own and she is inveterate in her prejudices and as narrow in her views as her great-grandmother was a hundred years ago. To such a one, the sight of an attractive American is like the red flag shown to a bull. 

An English officer who has a sense of humor recently told a story of an amusing experience which befell him while traveling with his mother-in-law to the tidal train to Dover not very long ago. “It might be well to tell you in the first place,” he said, “that I am afraid, of the old lady, particularly as she holds the purse-strings and can visit my misdemeanors on my head in very unpleasing fashion. So I always make a point of carefully agreeing with her in every remark she makes, and of course while traveling, I am most obsequious. On this particular occasion I had hardly settled her comfortably in a first-class carriage when a party of travelers came breathlessly up to our compartment, and, in spite of mamma-in-law’s stony glare, proceeded to take possession of all the unoccupied seats. 

There were two ladies in the party, both young and exquisitely pretty and faultlessly dressed, and with them were a couple of men, who also were of very good form and wore irreproachable attire. They were in the gayest of moods, all chatting and laughing together and relating their various adveutures in just catching the train; and although they were most amiable about storing away their various effects out of our way and apologizing to us about crowding the carriage, I could see that my eminently conservative relative was not to be cajoled, and with every minute, she grew stonier and more haughty. “Objectionable Americans!” she muttered to me. “Are you sure they are U. S. A.’s?" I asked, sotto voce. “They are very pretty, and so well dressed.” “Oh, Americans are always that, in a kind of way. Look how underbred their whole style is, and compare them to well-born English women. Oh, they do grate on my nerves!” and she turned her back with obvious scorn upon the interlopers, who, after one or two civil remarks, took no further notice of us. 

“When we reached Dover, the young people bade us good-bye in kindly fashion, to which my relative vouchsafed no reply. “Thank  goodness, those vulgarians have gone!” was her parting fling as I betook myself to the telegraph office to wire to Paris for rooms. One of our quondam traveling companions was before me, and there lying on the desk was a telegram form scribbled over with a message it was impossible to avoid seeing. It was evidently addressed to the lady’s husband, and was signed by one of the proudest and best known names in England. Like a flash I realized who the whole party were, for I had seen many a photograph of the two lovely sisiers, who were among the most famous of our English beauties, and whose names were always to be found on the most exclusive lists in that upper stratum of society, which is the accepted, fashion-maker and guide to modern manners.” “What did your mother-in-law say?” asked his amused listener. “Never dared to tell her.” was the reply. “Such jokes are not for the impecunious and dependent son-in-law. I never even told my wife.” – New York Tribune, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Diplomacy vs School of Insults

In the world arena, our Secretary of State, thanks to a few blunt words, has so infuriated Canada that I am prepared to hear that our Northern neighbor is contemplating a wall to keep our dollars in and our citizens out. As for “le Grand Charles,” he has recently been so busy insulting his friends that he has had no time to dust off his enemies.

An ‘Insult School’?

The President of the United States has asked Congress to establish a National Academy of Foreign Affairs to train American diplomats just as diplomacy by insult appears to have reached its finest flower both here and abroad. Plain speech or the knuckle-duster approach in forcing relations has in recent weeks raised the hackles on nations that were, at least on the surface, kissin’s cousins. In the world arena, our Secretary of State, thanks to a few blunt words, has so infuriated Canada that I am prepared to hear that our Northern neighbor is contemplating a wall to keep our dollars in and our citizens out. As for “le Grand Charles,” he has recently been so busy insulting his friends that he has had no time to dust off his enemies. Khrushchev has violently denounced the Franco-West German rapprochement. And the third Afro-Asian Peoples Solidarity Conference, just to keep in practice, used the most insulting language to condemn Great Britain, France, the United States, the United Nations, Israel, Portugal and South Africa, to name a few. 

To Perfect The Insult? 

In suggesting a National Academy of Foreign Affairs, it is difficult to know whether the President is contemplating the perfection of the new insult technique or a return to old-fashioned diplomacy, once described as the ability “to do and say the nastiest things in the nicest way.” That ability “to do and say the nastiest things in the nicest way” kept the world wagging along on an uneven keel for centuries during which diplomacy was conducted behind closed doors. It was the rapier vs. the bludgeon approach, that has come to characterize “open diplomacy openly arrived at.” The demand for “open diplomacy openly arrived at” developed out of World War I, in a misguided belief that this was the only way to conduct foreign affairs in a democratic manner. In recent years, there has been a growing belief that perhaps a few closed doors in the conduct of foreign affairs is not a bad idea and that maybe — for once – Grandpa knew best. 

It Hasn't Worked Yet 

No one can honestly claim that open diplomacy openly arrived at has evened the world’s keel, prevented wars or endeared nations to one another in any noticeable degree. Probably its most notable contribution to the conduct of world affairs has been the introduction of the shoe as a diplomatic weapon or equalizer. Surely this nation has also reached a maturity that demands that the two major political parties stop regarding the big and important foreign posts as political plums. For 100 years diplomatic appointments to such foreign posts as London, Paris, Rome, Madrid and even Berlin – in the old days – have been handed out by Republicans and Democrats alike as rewards to the rich party faithfuls who contribute handsomely to the party war chests. The going price of London and Paris was pegged at a contribution of $50,000 some 30 years ago. How inflation has affected the asking price knoweth not. But is surely a preposterous way to run a railroad or a diplomatic service. – Inez Robb, 1963

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Streetcar Manners Fine

He was one of that class of men who sit, utterly regardless of the rights and comforts of others. His kind abound in all public places and especially in street cars and in railroad cars. One of his pleasures is to occupy seat space large, enough for two. Sprawling out and crossing his legs are little diversions of his. 

Bad Feet Manners

A Brooklyn magistrate has imposed a fine of $10.00 on a man for crossing his legs on a street car. He merits the honor of a modern Daniel. The culprit who faced the justice was merely typical of the large class of men. He was one of that class of men who sit, utterly regardless of the rights and comforts of others. His kind abound in all public places and especially in street cars and in railroad cars. One of his pleasures is to occupy seat space large, enough for two. Sprawling out and crossing his legs are little diversions of his. 

His brother is the end-seat hog who infested the old-fashioned open cars and his sister is the stony faced woman who permits her young hopeful for whom she has paid no fare, to occupy all of one seat, stand on it, wipe his sticky hands on the people in front of him and his feet against the clothes of all who happen to pass by the seat. In the case of the man in Brooklyn, a determined woman brought him to grief and incidentally before the magistrate, who assessed the fine against him. It is to be hoped there will be hundreds of other determined women who will take similar action and who will in the end be able to make these ill-mannered men conduct themselves rightly. – The Morning Union, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia