Calling Cards —Points to be Observed

From the “Department of Stationery”– A late 1800’s registration and insurance card from a calling card order. It is also a suggestion that one have them save the steel-plate for Mrs. William Martin’s next card order.

The Etiquette of Visiting Cards

NICE POINTS TO BE OBSERVED 

BY WOMEN OF TO-DAY

A T PRESENT a widow retains her deceased husband's name upon her card as long as she chooses to do so, though she may with propriety after a few years revive the use of her own Christian name, thus: “Mrs. Mary Pembroke Drown.” For two years and a half a widow generally uses black-bordered cards. Strict etiquette says that in the first year of widowhood the black border should be about three-eighths of an inch in width, diminishing in the second year to a quarter of an inch; and in the third year the border can be left off entirely or narrowed for the first six months to one-eighth of an inch, and in the second six months to one-sixteenth of an inch, and after that dispensed with entirely. But, of course, a mourning card should never be carried unless black is worn.

The card of a single woman can correctly be of the same size as that of her married sister. or it can be from a half to a quarter of an inch smaller both in height and width.

A Young Girl's Card

The prefix "Miss" must always be on the card of an unmarried woman. She has her address on the lower right-hand corner and her reception day on the left. If she has been out several years and is no longer a debutante. The eldest daughter of a family should have her card engraved "Miss Gray," her younger sister “Miss Alice Gray.” Diminutives are never used by really well-bred people. For Mary Gray to have her card engraved "Miss Mamie Gray" would be in the worst possible taste.

“Double” Cards

What are sometimes called “double” or “joint” cards - that is, cards with two names engraved upon them-are a good deal used in fashionable society. Husband and wife can have their names engraved together on a single card, or mother and daughter or two sisters. The joint cards for the first-mentioned are quite a little larger than the single card used by a married woman, and should be engraved thus: Mr. and Mrs. Charles Winthrop Gray. 106 Western Boulevard. Or they may bear simply the names, with the address omitted. These cards are only used for calling by a bride during the first year of marriage. After this they serve to accompany joint gifts of the husband and wife, especially wedding presents. 

Sometimes a double card of this sort, giving the future address of the bride and groom and their reception day or day at home, is inclosed with the wedding card. Or, if this is not done, it is customary for the happy couple, on their return from the bridal tour. to mail a double card bearing their address and a series of reception days to all their friends and acquaintances.

The joint card of a mother and daughter, or daughters, is more used than any card of this sort. The strictet quette in very fashionable society is for a debutante during her first year of making formal calls to have separate card of her own, but to have her name engraved on a card below that of her mother. If she is the eldest daughter. eldest unmarried daughter, of a family the card is thus engraved: or Mrs. Thomas Lane Brown Miss Brown.

The address is, as in all other cards, in the lower right-hand corner. If the debutante has an older unmarried sister, she appears on the card as “Miss Margaret Brown.” This card is used by mother and daughter jointly when calling together. The mother never uses such a card when calling alone. But during her first year in society, when the daughter calls by herself she uses a joint card of this sort and runs a light pencil mark through her mother's name.

If a mother has more than one daughter who has been introduced to society, she has engraved under her own name on a joint card “The Misses Brown” or "Miss Brown, Miss Eleanor Brown." with one name below the other. A card of this sort is sent out at the beginning of the season, giving the day at home. It is also used when sending joint gifts or in calls of condolence or congratulation.

These double cards are rarely used except in extremely fashionable society, and it is perfectly good form for people who live quietly to dispense with them entirely, and for each daughter of the family to use her individual cards on all occasions.

Sisters may, if they wish, have a card in common and use it when calling together or sending gifts. It should be engraved with the names in one line: “The Misses Brown.” — BY Eleanor B. Clapp, 1905

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia