Amy Vanderbilt on Children’s Table Manners

When answering a query submitted to her, Amy Vanderbilt shared the notes that she made while dining with her own children. After all, one of the best ways to find out what children need to learn, is to dine at the same table with them. Above, Etiquipedia has always enjoyed dining with her children and grandchildren.

Children’s Table Manners

“DEAR MISS VANDERBILT: Please give us some more suggestions we can pass on to our children concerning table manners.” Mrs. C. L., Fayetteville, N.C.

Here are some notes that I made one evening while having dinner alone with my two younger boys. You can see that they, like other little boys their age, are in the process of learning, too. They weren't born with built-in good manners. Here are some of the things I had to remind them about - gently.

1. Don't put your face in your food. Sit up nicely and bring your fork up to your mouth without bending too closely over your plate.

2. Don't lick your fingers.

3. Never put your knife in your mouth.

4. Don't fill your mouth with milk or water. First wipe your lips after eating, then take a sip, then wipe your mouth again before resuming eating.

5. Don't pick up your dessert dish. Leave it on the table.

6. Take the little fish bones out of your mouth between thumb and forefinger and place them on the side of your plate.

7. Don't sing at the table.

8. Don't tilt your chair back - it's dangerous as well as bad manners.

9. If you cough, cover your mouth with your napkin or your hand.

— By Amy Vanderbilt in the Eagle Rock Sentinel, 1959

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