Etiquette and Untrained Servants

The well-trained servant is a perfect treasure, and a very solace in life, if one can afford him or her. The pleasant manner and gentle subdued voice are in strong contrast with the rough, half-defiant demeanor, of the newly-caught, cheap servant, accustomed to hard ways and want of consideration. 

People who are trying hard to get into society a little better than that with which they have had to be content till more favorable circumstances arose, often find a serious obstacle in badly trained servants. They cannot afford, perhaps, to employ domestics who have been accustomed to serve in wealthy or aristocratic families, the demands of such being excessive as to wages while their notions as to the work are of the most meagre kind. 

I remember once calling on a lady who was doing her very best to be “smart,” as she said herself. Two other callers were in the room and our hostess rang the bell and when the maid appeared said, “Tea, please.” Looking round the room, the latter said, “Oh, tea for four” and vanished. Her mistress held up hands and eyes, and said, “She's newly in to-day. Sounds as if she had been waitress in tea-rooms.” And so it did. 

In such simple ways do our servants manage to make us look very small indeed. Their worst side is turned out when they wait at table. However carefully we may train them when only the family is lunching or dining, they are almost sure to get flurried and forget when friends join the party, handing things at the right side instead of at the left, and serving the party in some erratic fashion of their own, instead of straight down one side of the table and then straight down the other.

The well-trained servant is a perfect treasure, and a very solace in life, if one can afford him or her. The pleasant manner and gentle subdued voice are in strong contrast with the rough, half-defiant demeanor, of the newly-caught, cheap servant, accustomed to hard ways and want of consideration. — By Mrs. Humphry, 1900

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia