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| Here a writer offers an idealistic look at what dating in the 1960’s could look like, if a widow kept her standards, and her morals high. — “Many widowed women had led very full, active social lives with their husbands. It is important that these contacts continue. It is going to take quite a bit of tact and skill to handle this part of your life gracefully. What is your setting? Is your house or apartment orderly, fresh, and sparkling; comfortable, softly lighted, furnished tastefully with pleasing colors? Is it a sanctuary for you and a place where you wish to entertain your men and women friends?” |
For the mature woman there is a certain etiquette in dating. When a gentleman takes a lady out frequently it is only fitting and gracious that she entertain him in her home in return, or invite him to accompany her to the home of friends whom he may enjoy.
Many widowed women had led very full, active social lives with their husbands. It is important that these contacts continue. It is going to take quite a bit of tact and skill to handle this part of your life gracefully. What is your setting?
Is your house or apartment orderly, fresh, and sparkling; comfortable, softly lighted, furnished tastefully with pleasing colors? Is it a sanctuary for you and a place where you wish to entertain your men and women friends?
It is important that your home complement you and is a gracious spot to bring friends. This does not mean that it need be lavish or expensive. But please, no chairs in need of recovering or a sofa with sagging springs, or poorly hanging draperies.
Mary had lived in the suburb of a large city ever since her marriage. She and her husband enjoyed their red brick colonial house and big lawn. Over the years they picked up some fine antique furniture and beautiful oriental rugs. They enjoyed entertaining their friends and their children's friends in this gracious house, which they had furnished with such pleasure during his lifetime.
Now that he was gone, Mary realized that she would have to change her way of living drastically. Luckily the two boys were out of college and working. She, too, had to find a position. She had always had a flair for dressmaking and liked fine fabrics and design. Wishing to make the most of this talent, she went into the city to interview with the owner of a ladies’ specialty shop.
Here her enthusiasm and zeal were so infectious that she was engaged as a saleswoman in the of gown salon. Wishing to be near her work and not being able to maintain her house, she sold it and moved into an apartment. It was located on an elm-shaded street that had once had fine old mansions, many of which had been converted into apartments.
Her two-room ground floor apartment had high ceilings, fireplaces, a small but adequate kitchen. French doors off the living room led to a terrace where she had flower boxes spilling over with petunias. This was a perfect setting for her antiques, her lovely old rugs, her fine china and silver - and for Mary, too.
She had a housewarming as soon as she was settled and invited her friends from the suburbs and the few she knew, if only ever so slightly, from the city. This party launched her on an active social life. Because of her friendliness and charm she has many men friends who take her out. She has found to her astonishment that a variety of men are attractive to her for a variety of reasons.
One man may be a divine dancer, another a delightful and interesting conversationalist who entertains at small dinner parties in his home where the food is superb, conversation sparkling, guests interesting. She is home at 11 o'clock after a stimulating evening. She has to have adequate rest to be fresh at her work.
When she entertains at home she plans small dinner parties that can be prepared ahead of time so that she does not need to be in the kitchen for long intervals. She puts the cocktail ingredients out so that her guests can serve themselves after being given the first cocktail.
She always has candlelight and wine, which adds an aura to her simple, well-cooked dinners. Mary always has her wardrobe in order and ready to go. for she never knows when an occasion may come up and she wishes to be ready. Her life is not as predictable as it was when she was married. She believes that she should not miss any opportunity to go out with friends for an enjoyable time.
She is determined not to feel sorry for herself, and she feels that she owes it to her friends to enjoy their company. Consequently her enthusiasm. gayety and friendliness make these occasions memorable to the persons with whom she spends them.
Mary has always placed great value on friendship. Now that she is alone, each and every one of her friends is even more precious. Because she is attractive and a widow, she receives many admiring glances and much attention from men, especially the married men who give her more of a rush than the elusive bachelors and widowers.
The quickest way to lose her women friends, she knows, would be flirt or pay attention to their husbands. She sweetly but firmly declines any invitations from them, preferring to be with unattached men. A lone woman is so very vulnerable. — By Mrs. Donn Sutton, Newspaper Enterprise Assn., 1965
It is important that your home complement you and is a gracious spot to bring friends. This does not mean that it need be lavish or expensive. But please, no chairs in need of recovering or a sofa with sagging springs, or poorly hanging draperies.
Mary had lived in the suburb of a large city ever since her marriage. She and her husband enjoyed their red brick colonial house and big lawn. Over the years they picked up some fine antique furniture and beautiful oriental rugs. They enjoyed entertaining their friends and their children's friends in this gracious house, which they had furnished with such pleasure during his lifetime.
Now that he was gone, Mary realized that she would have to change her way of living drastically. Luckily the two boys were out of college and working. She, too, had to find a position. She had always had a flair for dressmaking and liked fine fabrics and design. Wishing to make the most of this talent, she went into the city to interview with the owner of a ladies’ specialty shop.
Here her enthusiasm and zeal were so infectious that she was engaged as a saleswoman in the of gown salon. Wishing to be near her work and not being able to maintain her house, she sold it and moved into an apartment. It was located on an elm-shaded street that had once had fine old mansions, many of which had been converted into apartments.
Her two-room ground floor apartment had high ceilings, fireplaces, a small but adequate kitchen. French doors off the living room led to a terrace where she had flower boxes spilling over with petunias. This was a perfect setting for her antiques, her lovely old rugs, her fine china and silver - and for Mary, too.
She had a housewarming as soon as she was settled and invited her friends from the suburbs and the few she knew, if only ever so slightly, from the city. This party launched her on an active social life. Because of her friendliness and charm she has many men friends who take her out. She has found to her astonishment that a variety of men are attractive to her for a variety of reasons.
One man may be a divine dancer, another a delightful and interesting conversationalist who entertains at small dinner parties in his home where the food is superb, conversation sparkling, guests interesting. She is home at 11 o'clock after a stimulating evening. She has to have adequate rest to be fresh at her work.
When she entertains at home she plans small dinner parties that can be prepared ahead of time so that she does not need to be in the kitchen for long intervals. She puts the cocktail ingredients out so that her guests can serve themselves after being given the first cocktail.
She always has candlelight and wine, which adds an aura to her simple, well-cooked dinners. Mary always has her wardrobe in order and ready to go. for she never knows when an occasion may come up and she wishes to be ready. Her life is not as predictable as it was when she was married. She believes that she should not miss any opportunity to go out with friends for an enjoyable time.
She is determined not to feel sorry for herself, and she feels that she owes it to her friends to enjoy their company. Consequently her enthusiasm. gayety and friendliness make these occasions memorable to the persons with whom she spends them.
Mary has always placed great value on friendship. Now that she is alone, each and every one of her friends is even more precious. Because she is attractive and a widow, she receives many admiring glances and much attention from men, especially the married men who give her more of a rush than the elusive bachelors and widowers.
The quickest way to lose her women friends, she knows, would be flirt or pay attention to their husbands. She sweetly but firmly declines any invitations from them, preferring to be with unattached men. A lone woman is so very vulnerable. — By Mrs. Donn Sutton, Newspaper Enterprise Assn., 1965
🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
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