Napoleonic Court Etiquette

The Emperor holds what is called an “audience” every Sunday morning, when he is in Paris. This is a fashion of receiving which was abolished by the Revolution and restored by Napoleon I. In 1830 it again fell, and was re-established in 1852 by Napoleon III. With the “audience” fell and rose the offices of Chamberlains — persons especially charged with all that concerns the interior household of the Sovereign. 

The French Court

The Paris correspondent of the New York Tribune, writing January 27th, says: The Emperor, had he desired to foreshadow anything like a rupture of amicable relations with the United States, had an opportunity to do so at the Imperial Ball at the Tuileries on Wednesday evening last. Instead, however, of doing that, he departed from usage and relinquished a point of etiquette in order to render more agreeable the position of our representative at this Court. A Charge d'Affaires, being accredited to the Minister of Foreign Affairs only and not to the Sovereign, is not supposed to have any communication with the latter. 

At the presentations at the Tuileries, the Charge d’ Affaires does not introduce his countrymen directly to the Emperor, but simmers his introduction through a Chamberlain who stands between his Majesty and the Charge. This has always been the case before, and there was no reason to suppose that the rule would be departed from on Wednesday evening. When the Emperor entered the room in which the diplomatic corps were gathered, he addressed a few words to Lord Cowley, who stood at the head of the line, made a remark to the Italian Minister, and then forced his way along until he came to Bigelow, who occupied a position nearly at the foot. He held out his hand to Bigelow and expressed his gratification at seeing him, and complimented him upon his good standing with the United States Government, which so promptly placed him in the position which he occupied. He then addressed a few words to Mrs. Bigelow— asked her how long she had been here, and passed on. 

The Emperor addressed his remarks to Mr. and Mrs. Bigelow in English, although fortunately they, unlike most of their predecessors, speak excellent French. In the presentation ceremony no Chamberlain stood between the Emperor and Bigelow, who introduced, our countrymen directly to his Majesty. This was certainly an unusual and entirely unexpected proceeding, and may be explained as, in part, an evidence of good feeling towards our Government, and in part a high personal compliment to the occupant of the position of Charge d' Affaires.– Life in Paris, Sacramento Union, 1865

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Color and French Dog Petiquette

Oh, vanity... Gilding the lap dog made him not only golden, but ill-mannered, haughty and vain! Other colors brought out different temperaments and behaviors. – “It was a day or two after this banquet that the modern Midas caused his wife's lap-dog to be richly gilded, to the immense amazement of that personage, and, apparently, to the great satisfaction of the animal, which, naturally of a most affectionate disposition, became so haughty that it would suffer no one to touch it, and only regained its usual good temper as the gilding wore off its fur.” – Photo source, AKC.com 

The fashion of dyeing lap dogs, and the other species of canine pets so beloved of Parisian dames, so as to match the toilette of their mistresses, which is decidedly gaining ground here as a novelty, appears not to be absolutely new. At all events, the chronicles of thirty years ago speak of a chemist who, by means of coloring matter which he injected into their veins, succeeded in giving to the animals submitted to his process any color desired by their owners. Sky-blue pigs, lilac calves, green dogs, yellow donkeys, and peach-colored sheep, are said to have issued living from his laboratory. But the new process is much simpler, being simply an ingenious method of painting the animal's hair, or, if preferred, of gilding it. The painting is easily done, and as it can be washed off with equal ease, the four-footed adjuncts of fashionable ladyhood, may be brought out every day in new shades of color, to correspond with the prevailing hue of their owner’s toilette.

The rich banker Milland, whose sudden acquisition of an enormons fortune, through a succession of bold and lucky speculations, created so much talk in this envious city, some fifteen years ago, and who, at the time when he made his sudden leap from poverty to wealth, seemed hardly to know what to do with his gold, is said to have been the first to strike out the idea of this style of ornamentation. Certain it is that the new millionaire, not satisfied with gilding all the inside of his hotel, at the Place St. Georges, caused all the exterior mouldings of that highly ornate dwelling to be gilded also, as all passers can assure themselves to this day, by occular examination ; and that having put his establishment into a state of gilding that provoked the Parisians into calling his hotel “The Temple of the Golden Calf,” he gave a grand dinner to the principal literary and financial notorieties of the capital, at which not only his son and himself were covered with gold chains, rings, etc, but the rough rinds of some very large melons, that figured, according to the etiquette of French dinners, immediately after the soup, were thickly gilded down each seam. 

It was a day or two after this banquet that the modern Midas caused his wife's lap-dog to be richly gilded, to the immense amazement of that personage, and, apparently, to the great satisfaction of the animal, which, naturally of a most affectionate disposition, became so haughty that it would suffer no one to touch it, and only regained its usual good temper as the gilding wore off its fur. The new fashion of coloring dogs is said to have a similar power of changing their tempers; the same dog, for instance, being morose when painted chocolate-color, proud and quarrelsome when painted red, insolent when painted yellow, gay when painted pink, capricious when painted green, and sentimental when painted sky-blue! Dark-blue makes them ill and renders them excessively unhappy. The other colors do not seem to be injurious, and Paris is full of extremes whilst this folly is going on. – Letters from Paris, 1865

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A French Empress Entertains

Empress Eugénie enjoyed entertaining her guests and granted her favor to them the moment of almost any gleam of sunshine in the storm which nearly ruined her birthday celebrations. – Above: Empress Eugenie surrounded by her Dames du Palais, circa 1855. Her six ladies-in-waiting (later increased to twelve), or dames du palais, were mainly chosen from among her acquaintances prior to her marriage. They were headed by the Grand-Maitresse Anne Debelle, Princesse d'Essling, and the dame d'honneur, Pauline de Bassano.– Public Domain Image

The Empress’ Victory

Over the prudent counsels of M. Fould, in virtue of which the Court has gone to Compeigne, will hardly profit her Majesty, or the three series of her invited guests, if the present rain and wind are to continue. However, it appears that the Empress is very prompt in making the most of any gleam of sunshine, vouchsafed in the intervals of the storm. The moment the rain holds up, sovereigns and guests turn out to take advantage of it, and two or three hunts have already taken place in the forest, while concerts, plays and dancing have gone on brilliantly in the evening.

Her fair Majesty's birthday has just been celebrated at Compeigne, where the guests had the honor of being admitted to offer their felicitations and present bouquets. The officers of the Chasseurs of the Guard — which regiment seems to consider itself as specially devoted to the Empress – went down to Compeigne to present a magnificent bouquet. The excellent asylum founded by the Empress at the Vesinet, to afford a month's country air to women-patients from the Paris hospitals, also sent a deputation and a bouquet. The palace seems, in fact, to have been filled with these floral offerings, and at night the park was illuminated, and a quantity of fireworks were let off, in spite of the rain, the grounds being thrown open and filled with spectators.– Letters from Paris, 1865

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Royal French Hospitality

 Etiquette of the day would require the newest skating finery, if one was a guest at the French Empress’ skate parties – “Let your dress fit closely, but at the same time be of sufficient ease to insure freedom of motion. Neither skirts to coats nor full trousers should be worn. Let flannel be worn next to the skin by the delicate, and an extra undergarment by the robust. Let the chest be well defended against the cold. A piece of brown paper laid between the waistcoat and shirt is a cheap chest protector, or use one of Andrew Peck & Co.’s improved chest protectors, which is worn next the skin.” – “The Skater's Manual, A Complete Guide To The Art of Skating,” 1867

Of Empress Eugénie, Her Parties and Royal Skating Guests

It is a peculiarity of the hospitality so largely exercised by the present occupants of the French throne, that while the greater number of their guests are persons of high diplomatic and official position, or distinguished for rank or wealth, a good many are invited whose claims to such an honor are purely literary, scientific or artistic. 

Among the ladies — especially among the Russians and Americans here — great beauty or liveliness seem to be a passport equally to the good graces of Emperor and Empress. A reputation for great skill in skating is also a passport to the favor of both, and is sure to procure invitations for the court skating parties, and the Empress’ “private parties” of seven hundred. – Letter from Paris, 1865

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Wedding Etiquette

The chief bridesmaid's duty is to take the bride's bouquet and gloves when the service begins... When a widow marries, the wedding differs on several points. There are neither bridesmaids nor favors, and the lady is debarred wearing white, a bridal veil or orange flowers ; indeed, she must wear a bonnet, according to English etiquette.

How to Be Married in Style

The old-time fancy for distributing wedding favors is again in vogue ; directly after the ceremony and while the newly-married pair, with the more immediate relatives, are signing the register, the bridesmaids dispense them. The gifts designed for the lady guests consist of small bows of white satin ribbon tying little sprays of jessamine ; those for the gentlemen are a spray of oak-leaves and acorns without ribbon, while the bridesmaids’ favors have some distinctive mark, such as a spray of forget-me-not. Their bouquets are the gift of the bridegroom and are sent before the ceremony with the locket or other souvenir which he presents them. He also furnishes the bride with her flowers for the occasion. 

When the service takes place in church; the ceremony is generally performed entirely at the communion rails ; but in High Churches, the actual ceremony, in England particularly, takes place in the body of the church, and the bridal party, preceded by officiating clergy, moves on into the chancel for the subsequent portion of the service. All arrangement as to fees, etc., are confided to the best man ; while the chief bridesmaid’s duty is to take the bride’s bouquet and gloves when the service begins. The interval between the arrival of the guests at the house and the breakfast is generally employed in an inspection of the wedding presents, which are spread out for examination on a variety of tables – one for plate, another for jewelry, one for china, one for glass ornaments, etc., each gift being accompanied by a slip of paper, bearing the name of the donor. 

Wedding breakfasts are now often arranged on the plan of a ball supper, with several round tables and a long buffet, where the majority of the company take their lunch standing, the tables being appropriated to the relatives of the bridegroom and the principal guests. Frequently, however, the old custom of a sitting-down breakfast is adhered to, and if it is, the wedding-cake is placed in the centre of the table, and the bride and bridegroom take their places opposite to it. In the former plan, the cake is placed in the centre of the buffet. When breakfast is announced, the bride and bridegroom lead the way to the dining-room ; the bride’s father follows with the bridegroom’s mother, and seats himself next to his daughter; the bridegroom’s father comes in next with the bride’s mother, and place her beside the bridegroom. Very frequently the bridesmaids all sit opposite to the bride, accompanied by the gentlemen who have been desired by the hostess to take them down ; the best man invariably taking the chief bridesmaid. 

Speeches are now confined, when there are any at all, to the health of the bride and bridegroom, proposed in a few words, the fewer the better, by the gentleman of the highest rank present. The bridegroom, in returning thanks, sometimes proposes the health of the bridesmaids, for whom the best man briefly responds. There should be no other toasts, and even these may be well dispensed with. The bride puts the knife into the cake, which has been cut before the drinking of the healths, and it is expected that every one will eat a small piece for good luck. When the bride comes into the drawing-room in her travelling-dress to say good-bye, white satin slippers and rice are thrown, the best man and  bridesmaids dispensing the former, while the latter is showered upon the departing pair exclusively by matrons. The fashion of sending cards and cake has gone entirely out of style. 

When a widow marries, the wedding differs on several points. There are neither bridesmaids nor favors, and the lady is debarred wearing white, a bridal veil or orange flowers ; indeed, she must wear a bonnet, according to English etiquette. If a young lady, however, marries a widower, there is no difference made between the arrangements for her wedding and those described.– Daly Alta, 1877

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Silverware and Forked Answers

An unusual and highly valuable, antique silver, fish-shaped, Victorian spoon warmer. These were used in very large, drafty estates, to keep the spoons from “downstairs” warm for the meals served “upstairs.” –  “It was here that for the first and last time in his life Mr. Campion made the acquaintance of those silver-plated cornucopias which, in Victorian times, were supplied to the diner filled with hot water, so that he might warm his spoon before partaking of that greasy delicacy called thick soup.” –Marjorie Allingham

Silverware Provides Golden Opportunity for Forked Answers

The secret vice of etiquette is to play guessing games with old pieces of silver. The stranger looking an object say, a combination of writhing bodies with spouts, or tongs and clawed footsies the more fun it is to ask, “And what do you suppose THAT is?” Then, again, perhaps this vice is not entirely secret. Miss Manners has noticed that people who fail to acknowledge the daily toils of etiquette as it strives to make the world bearable in small ways, believe its only function is in connection with peculiar silver. Under etiquette's kindly veneer, they seem to believe, it is really only a system by which people who have the time and money to waste in acquiring funny silverware, endeavor to make those who don't, feel inadequate. 

The object such detractors choose to bolster their slander is usually the humble fork. “I never know what fork to use,” they will brag, as evidence that they are above snobbish games. The fact that the fork is a household mainstay at all levels of society, the use of which can be, and routinely is, mastered by a child of 3, makes it a strange example. Therefore, Miss Manners will now offer some better ones. In the spirit of the parent who says, “Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about,” she suggests that the next time they complain about esoteric items of silver, they choose an example among the following items. Miss Manners has helpfully divided these into two categories and supplied some dubious etymology. 

A. What in the Heck Is That? 

1. Bougie box. This is where you keep your bougie, of course. A bougie is a coil of bleached wax, named after the Algerian town that supplied it, and it sticks out in a taper through the lid of your small, circular bougie box to provide a dim light for whatever dim activities you may wish to engage in. If you don't mind your bougie being uncovered, you can hang it on a wax jack, but it is well known that bougie boxes keep the mice from nibbling your tapers.
2. Monteith. Monteith was a Scot who made great punch and wore a scallop-bottomed coat. His name adorns a punch bowl with a scalloped edge on which you can hang the punch glasses to chill on ice before you make the punch.
3. Argyle. Either the fourth or the fifth Duke of Argyle, depending on whom you believe (Miss Manners doesn't vouch for any of this information), invented his own gravy boat, which has a hot-water compartment for keeping the gravy hot. 
4. Posset or caudle cup. This is a two-handled cup in which you can drink posset (curdled milk with wine or ale, oat cakes and spices) or caudle (wine with spices and sugar and crumbled bread) or, if those lists of ingredients get to you, grab both handles and be sick.  

B. Any Fool Can Understand What It Is, But What Do You Need It For?  

1. Wine wagon. This is a great toy, consisting of a little wheeled wagon that holds two wine bottles, so that you can send it careening down the length of the table at exactly the point when someone with sense ought to remove it and you from the table.
2. Sardine box. Why would you want to keep your sardines in a silver box with pictures of sardines engraved on it, when you can pack them into a can like people on a subway? Because sardines were once very expensive. 
3. Tea caddy. Ditto for tea, which is why lots of tea caddies have locks on them. 
4. Cheese toaster. If you think it's messy to make your toasted cheese sandwiches in the stove, try aiming a silver cheese toaster with a hot water compartment toward the open fire. 
5. Soy frame. This is one form of the cruet, a stand holding bottles of sauces, which is socially on a level with the ketchup-and-mustard stand at your local fast food restaurant.
6. Spoon warmer. You don't mean you've been using cold spoons to serve food with, do you? The spoon warmer contains hot water in which to keep serving-spoons on a buffet table.
7. Salver. This is just a small-footed tray for serving drinks, but Miss Manners likes the idea that it was named for the hope that it would save one's clothes from the dribble. 
8. Epergne. Miss Manners throws this in because its name also refers (in French) to saving. The epergne is a many-armed centerpiece to be filled with fruits, nuts and candy, and its name refers to a direction to the staff to save whatever is left after the guests have finished gobbling. – Miss Manners, 1989

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Fashion Etiquette – Artistic Ruling

“During World War II the Government understood the importance of teaching our military men and women some of the subtleties of proper social behavior in foreign lands. Proper American social behavior was not enough. Our soldiers and sailors learned to remove their shoes before entering a Japanese home, or a Mohammedan mosque, or a Buddhist temple. They squatted or sat cross-legged at table and ate out of communal dishes in Mohammedan lands and in various Oriental countries.... They tried to remember certain shibboleths ... If this works under the stress of war, it will work in peacetime. As much as possible, while still identifying ourselves as Americans, we should behave as those we visit behave, not try to take the freest manners and language of our Main Streets abroad.” Amy Vanderbilt

Hair Do Will Be Short Bob –

“Artistic Disorder Ruling of Fashion”

CHICAGO, Sept. 15. Milady’s hair-do this fall will be a short bob, with a touch of “artistic disorder,” and the reason is time-saving for the war worker, the WAAC, the WAVE and the WAAF. So guest hairstylist Reno of Hollywood told the 23rd annual convention of the American Cosmeticians National Association today. The “disorder” which to Reno is “carefree, casual and careless, but artistic”—is what distinguishes the coiffure of this wartime autumn from the curt, crisp boyish bob of the last decade. – Madera Tribune, 1942

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Wine

 

 It has become the norm for at least three different wines to be served at a formal dinner, though the amount really depends on the hosts of the meal and the number of courses being served. Pairing foods with different types of wines is a relatively recent culinary art. It has developed and fostered a host of books and guidelines for the pairings of a variety of foods and particular wines to go with them. In restaurants which offer excellent wines, sommeliers are often on hand to make food pairing recommendations for those who may be unsure of their choices. The idea behind the pairing of foods with certain wines, is the belief that elements such as texture, aroma and flavor in both the food and the wine, will interact with one another, and finding the perfect balance of the two, will make one’s meal more enjoyable and memorable. But as taste is subjective from one palate to the next, there are those who feel wines should be enjoyed without advice from “experts” on the subject.

“Sip Your Wine  – Do Not Guzzle”

– Wine Institute Speaker

To enjoy the aroma or bouquet, the beauty of color and taste, wine should be sipped and not guzzled. This was the statement of H. F. Stoll of the Wine Institute of California in speaking to the Madera Rotary club today. Wine should be taken a bit at a time for greatest enjoyment, much as one eats bread with a meal. Wine was never intended to be used for its “kick.” The red table wines should be used with red meats and white wines with fish or fowl. Sweet wines are used as refreshers or appetizers. 

The talk of the intoxicating affect of champagne was declared bunk; and that the alcoholic content of champagne is low. Table wines, when once uncorked and only partly used, should be tightly corked and turned upside down to preserve them indefinitely, otherwise air will enter the bottle and it will sour. The speaker declared that the Wine Institute is doing much to debunk the foreign theories on use of wine and to educate people to the proper use and etiquette of serving wine. – Madera Tribune, 1942

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia