Etiquette and Teamsters

The name of the union was changed, in 1909, to International Brotherhood of Teamsters, Chauffeurs, Stablemen and Helpers of America to reflect the expanding membership

"Plans To Establish School Where All Teamsters Can Study Etiquette"

A school of etiquette for teamsters is to be established. John T. Stockton, who is known as the "Chesterfield of the teaming industry," is to be instructor.                                  

In a dispute at a freight house over precedence according to the new authority the "language" must be after the following model:

"Pardon me, Mike, but I believe I have the right of way." "If you will permit me to suggest that under rule 23 of the revised code of 'Manners and Morals of Teamsters,' my claim has precedence." "All right, old scout, back up, you've won." -From The Santa Cruz Evening News, 1909

By the looks of this riot between striking Teamsters and police in Minnesota in 1934, sadly, we at Etiquipedia© are guessing the etiquette classes didn't really take. 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Moderator for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

  

Etiquette for a Vanderbilt Debutante

“In England, the court circle governs society. Its recognition makes a gentleman or lady out of nobody.”

Throne Room in Buckingham Palace Presentation Day – Where the Money Counts – Getting Into Swell American Society via London

Titled Bankrupts Who Sell Their Court Influence for Round Sums —  Brief Views of Royalty!

From London, May 1896 — This is the particular season of the year when the young American girl whose papa and mamma take her abroad every spring, hopes to acquire the transcendent social distinction of being presented at Court. It gives her something to talk about for the rest of her life, and like an heirloom, she can hand it down to future generations of her family as a badge of greatness.

It means much to an English woman to be presented at court, but to an American it can be scarcely any material value. In England, the Court circle governs society. Its recognition makes a gentleman or lady out of nobody. A Court presentation is an open sesame to society and everything that implies. Naturally it is sought after with great diligence, particularly by people who know that they must overcome mountainous obstacles to reach the acme of their ambition.

London is filled with a class of influential sharks who make a fat income during the season by piloting rich folks into the throne room at Buckingham Palace. It is a sad but true fact that many Americans have permitted themselves to be bitten by these rascals, for the mere pleasure of rubbing shoulders with Royalty for a minute or two and seeing a room full of Princes, Princesses, Dukes and people of lesser titles in gala array.

It is a gorgeous show, and it is generally thought to be worth the price of admission. Even if someone need not be feted for obtaining the rare cards of admission, the function cannot be suitably attended at a cost of much less than one thousand dollars. There are innumerable rules of Court etiquette which must be complied with, and each rule means the expenditure of a goodly some. 
                                                   

“The most notable American presented this spring was the young Duchess of Marlborough, but she did not appear as an American, but as an English Duchess.”

If the presentation function were established for the benefit of the London shopkeepers, it would serve the purpose nobly, as it stimulates trade to a surprisingly healthy degree. The Queen as yet, has not presided at any of the drawing rooms this season, her place generally being taken by the Princess of Wales.

A Notable Presentation


The most notable American presented this spring was the young Duchess of Marlborough, but she did not appear as an American, but as an English Duchess. Socially her position is one of considerable importance, and she's entitled by right to appear at the drawing rooms as often as she pleases. Her influence is also sufficiently great to secure cards of admission for any of her eligible in New York friends, but unfortunately the one whom she would most like to present is debarred by an edict which is seldom waived. This refers to her mother, Mrs. O. H. P. Belmont, who was divorced from the Duchess' father, W. K. Vanderbilt. One of the few divorced women ever admitted to the Royal presence is the Marchioness of Blandford who is divorced from the late Duke of Marlborough. It was she who presented her daughter-in-law, the young Duchess, at Court.
                                           

Mrs. O. H. P. Belmont, mother of Consuelo Vanderbilt, was barred from cards of admission to London's elite drawing rooms, by an edict which is seldom waived, due to her divorce.

It is a well known bit of gossip that has lived for more than three years that an American millionaire paid $10,000 to an influential, but bankrupt leader of society, for drawing room cards for his wife and two daughters. This man had for many years endeavored to enter the fashionable set of New York and had probably spent $100,000.00 in lavish entertainments in an effort to draw the right people to his house. But on reaching home after the presentation of his family, he discovered that it had open the long closed doors. He has never regretted the $10,000, but sees who fixes all these rules, and his assistants see to it that they are rigorously adhered to.


A Powerful Official


All applications for cards are made to the same gentleman. Such applications are invariably accompanied by an endorsement of some person of note and prominence, otherwise they are ignored. Extreme care is taken that no one whose character is at all doubtful is admitted. The most difficult thing to perform is to leave the Royal presence by backing out of the room. A twelve foot train impedes graceful progress. Usually this part of the program is rehearsed several times before the presentation is made. Everything else is in stereotyped form and is of such simple character that few people commit blunders. 

The name is announced, and on entering the drawing room the newcomer makes a bow. She sees a number of ladies standing under a canopy, and group around them sees man in fanciful Court costume.The person presenting the visitor walks up to where the Queen is standing, and after bowing, low kisses her hand. Her protégé does precisely the same thing, and then the two back out of the room as gracefully as they can. That ends the function as far as they are concerned. There is no conversation and no loitering about in the drawing room. Only the elect are permitted those privileges.—The Los Angeles Herald, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. Spanish Royal Court Etiquette

We find in a late number of Noah's Sunday Times an editorial upon the manners of the Court of Spain, and the particular code of morals of the present day. There is undoubtedly more licentiousness in that Court than in those of all the other foreign potentates put together. Yet Spain seems, at the present time, to remain comparatively tranquil under the reign of the youthful Queen, and be perfectly satisfied with the present regime. We copy a portion of the article:
                                                    

Queen Isabella II of Spain. She ruled from 1833 to 1868. Isabella's reign was a troubled and chaotic chapter in Spain's history. It was marked by coups, scandals and civil wars, which ended with a successful revolution against the Spanish monarchy.

There is probably no monarchy in Europe which keeps up the stiff, antiquated etiquette of royalty equal to the Spanish Court. Everything is done by rule, by usanca, as it is called, and it unites the sober dignity of the Moors with the imperial pride which distinguished the reign of Charles V., and Ferdinand and Isabella. Poverty has not abated an inch in the steady etiquette of that court, but it is now in great danger of being overturned, if not utterly destroyed, by that hoyden, the young Queen of Spain. She cannot possibly carry out old forms, and therefore discards them altogether. They say of the young Queen, that, although she likes gossip herself, she is indifferent to all gossip about herself. She gives herself up to the noisiest pleasures with childish ardor, and seems to take delight in teasing the solemn nullity of a husband whom she was required to marry. 


When her ministers wish to talk to her about public affairs, she bids them, with girlish petulence, to consult her mother, and that it is she who manages those kind of things. She orders dancing every night in the gardens, prohibits all kinds of illumination, and the moment she arrives gives herself up to laughter and dancing of the most energetic character. She tires out the strongest limbed, and then looks round with the most reckless merriment. Half an hour afterward she seats herself, and eats and drinks with the same vigor as she dances, and that at some rustic table under the trees. From these balls ancient Spanish etiquette has fled affrighted.

Cravats à la Lord Byron, replaced the stiff uniform, or formal black coat, white cravat, and white vest of “Spanishdom”

A young girl and her duenna, or chaperon         

Nankeen gabines, summer frock coats, cravats a la Byron, replace the stiff uniform, or formal black coat, white cravat, and white vest of Spanishdom. With utter contempt for all etiquette, her youthful majesty, whenever her partner is young, handsome, and amusing, does not scruple to walk off alone with him in the sylvan solitudes. Paquo, (Frank,) for so she calls her husband, used to fret and worry at first, but has got used to it, and is become plethoric and indifferent. She laughs at the remonstrances of her elderly friends, even when they hint that her crown is in danger; and it is this fact which induces people to speak of abdication.
                                               

Isabella's Royal Coat of Arms

The little queen is no doubt a jolly rollocking girl, full of buoyancy of spirits and happiness, as all Spanish girls are who are not kept down by priests and duennas. She is, however, in danger, for if she had the ability to assist in conducting public affairs, she might romp with impunity after business hours; but she is like one of our school girls at 3 o'clock, rushing out of the school room into the candy shop, with shouts of ringing laughter. If it is said that this dynasty of sovereigns that is, mother and daughter — with no special regard for morality, cannot long be sustained in Spain, we answer that the people, who are loyal, are exceedingly indifferent about the conduct of royalty and nobility at court.


They never meddle with interdicted subjects. There are no single females more virtuous than those of Spain, and none married who are so indifferent to its solemn obligations. In every respectable house there is a fat, jolly padre, who takes the head of the table, and all the children look like him. The husband, a kind, affectionate, good, indifferent fellow, in too sensible to take any notice of an event so very common and domestic in Spain — a kind of common law or usanca. The common, uneducated people, however, are more vigilant in this respect than the higher orders and do not generally submit to these matrimonial innovations.- From The Daily Alta California, 1849

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette: An Edwardian Look Back

Even at so late a period as the Restoration, 1660, it was the custom for the guests to take their own knives and forks to an English banquet.

“Old Time Etiquette”

Even at so late a period as the Restoration, 1660, it was the custom for the guests to take their own knives and forks to an English banquet. Pepys records that he did this when he went to the Lord Mayor's feast in the Guildhall. 

In the previous reign, the Lord Chamberlain had found it necessary to issue regulations for the benefit of the officers invited to dine at the royal table. They were required to wear clean boots, not to be half drunk on their arrival, not to drink more than one goblet to every two dishes, not to throw the bones under the table, not to lick their fingers. 

 Mary, Queen of Scots, introduced to the UK, etiquette and customs she had learned in France.

The Stuarts undoubtedly did much to refine English table manners, for it was one of the points admired by Mary Queen of Scots that the customs she introduced from France made her court and royal banquets more exquisite and genteel than those of her rival, Queen Elizabeth. 

As forks came into use, the old-time importance of the table napkin began to wane. From being a necessity it became a luxury, on the fastidious use of which etiquette has at various times placed strange values. Under the third empire in France, St. Beuve brought disgrace upon himself because at breakfast at the Tuilleries he carelessly opened his napkin and placed it over his two knees. To this he added the crime of cutting his egg in two at the middle. 

Etiquette at Versailles and the Tuileries Palace dictated the rules for everything from use of napkins to eating one's eggs.

Court etiquette prescribed that the half-folded napkin should be on the left knee, and the top of the egg was to be merely broken with the edge of the spoon and drained with the tip of the spoon. For his failings in these respects St. Beuve's name was struck off the imperial visiting list.–The Los Angeles Herald, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette in Gilded Age Boston

“So tell us about your new social club, girls.” The tact and graciousness which please the cultured and unlearned of society manners, never count for more than among those who have not studied the rules of etiquette!

“New! Social Clubs for Working Girls in 1888!”

The successful beginning of a social club for working girls in Boston shows that experience has taught the way of interesting and amusing a most critical class of young women. Efforts made by girls of leisure to meet socially those who work, are apt to fail from want of tact on the part of the former and suspicion from the latter. Sometimes the benevolent young lady makes the mistake of establishing too intimate and cordial relations with the working girl whom she kindly hopes to elevate and encourage.


She visits the girl at her home, invites her to dinner or tea, and places their relations on the basis of intimate friendship. Although some instances of this method have been excellent in results, many; have been painful in termination. On the other hand, a social club with educational aims may be made beneficial to all its members. A young woman who was active in the formation of a successful club said to me, "Both the girls at leisure and the girls that work gain from our pleasant relations. We learn much from the others. Girls who earn their own living; gain a keenness from meeting the world which we cannot attain in our quiet home lives. They are so bright, too. We feel that they can take our measure, as it were, at once, and we are sometimes positively afraid of their penetrating looks."


It has been found that the young woman who has achieved social success in her own circle is most apt to be appreciated by the girls who know nothing of the ways of society. The tact and graciousness which please the cultured and unlearned of society manners, never count for more than among those who have not studied the rules of etiquette.—From the Boston Journal, 1888

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Cycling Etiquette and Romance

A proper woman’s “Cycling Costume” from 1901

The Bicycle In Love-Making from 1895

Extraordinary Number of “Scorchers'” Who Become Bridegrooms! 

"All our best racers are getting married like winking; in fact, there is an epidemic of marriage going on among them just now!" That is the testimony that comes over from London, and it would seem to be an undoubted fact that throughout England and France, at least, the wheel is rapidly augmenting marrying and giving in marriage. 

The London County Cycling Club has recognized this tendency, and has provided for it by offering prizes for the season's racing that gentlemen competitors may find acceptable and suitable to present, to their wives. The trouble is that while a cyclist is still in his salad days, and before he thinks of matrimony, he is generally interested in racing, and delights in posing as a champion "scorcher" for the benefit of lady cyclists who are there to view.
                         

"One of the most popular sporting activities was bicycling. A favored costume exists of a double-breasted jacket with large leg-of-mutton sleeves. Underneath a lady was wearing a shirt blouse with a stiffened collar and a man's tie. She also has on wide knickerbockers, coloured stockings made of cotton and a straw hat with stand-up trimmings and a face veil. For a game of tennis, a lady wore a blouse and a short skirt (two inches of the ground!), a cap, a tie and gloves. A bathing costume was made of cotton with insets of embroidery. These outfits may appear very cumbersome to us, and it is difficult imagine participating in sport hampered by so much material. These clothes however were quite revolutionary in their time and were frowned upon by many as quite scandalous. At this time, women were beginning their struggle for emancipation and it is interesting that their desire to be on an equal footing with men is reflected in the clothes that they wore. The wide leg-of-mutton sleeves gave ladies a masculine, rather aggressive appearance rather than emphasizing their femininity." From AngelPig.net

If there is anything a wheelwoman appreciates, it is a man who is strong, powerful and enduring on his cycle, and who can put up a century at very nearly record-speed. The men who can do this the best are the favorites for women to ride with. Long trips, the participants being a man and a girl alone, naturally follow, and after a few of these an engagement results. 

Watch out, scorchers... Fall in love and your cycling speeds may drop! Unless of course, your wife fancies a new brooch.

After marriage the "scorchers" begin to subside, and their pace becomes much gentler. Several of the leading cycle clubs of London have lost many of their swiftest members through marriage. In an attempt to do something to break this tendency the prizes for the 100-mile race which is to take place in London on the Herne Hill track have been so designed that they can either be used as clasps for gentlemen or as brooches lor ladies. It is hoped that the married women desirous of acquiring these will force their husbands to practice and enter.

A late 1800's Cycling Costume and Riding Habit

The effect of cycling on the matrimonial market in this country has not been especially marked here, but it is likely to be within a few months. That is, if one may judge from the number of engagements that are probably "on" at the present time. Claremont and the Casino in the park have countless couples who dismount shyly from their wheels and come into the restaurant each evening with a "Don't speak to us, don't look at us, please." style. Daisy Bell's bicycle that was built for two, never panned out half so well as these solitary wheels that scurry around through the darkness of New York in pairs. 

The bicycle wedding pictured the other day in one of the comic papers, wherein everybody in the wedding procession was cycling to the church, may yet be witnessed in New York. This picture was a joke, but as a matter of fact, and an absolutely truthful one at that, there was a bicycle wedding a few days ago in the sleepy little village of Astead, in Surrey. Every member of the bridal party went to the church mounted on a bicycle. When the procession started from Leatherhead, about two miles from the town where the ceremony was to take place, it aroused the utmost enthusiasm among the villagers, who cheered it vociferously. At the head of the company rode the bride and bridegroom, astride of a tandem cycle. The bride, who occupied the front seat and attended to piloting her better half that was to be over the rough bits of road, was a striking picture. She wore a fawn-colored costume appropriate for cycling, and her leggings were of the trimmest and neatest. Upon her head was a wreath of orange blossoms, to which was attached a long white veil which streamed out straight in the wind caused by their rapid flight and occasionally slapped in the face of the bridegroom, causing him to find vent for his annoyance by pedaling a little harder. 

Fashions for the Gilded Age Sportswoman

The bridegroom was also a thing of beauty. His raiment was light-colored, like the bride's, and it is a fact well worth noting and moralizing over that the veil and orange blossoms were the only distinguishing marks between the two. The bridesmaids and the best men hurried perspiringly in the wake of the happy pair. The best men wore "scorcher" breeches presented by the bridegroom. 

The party finally reached the church in great good humor, and after the ceremony wheeled away to the hostelry where a wedding feast had been commanded. On the road they passed that famous inn where the landlady refuses to recognize knickerbockered ladies unless they consent to wear skirts. The speechless indignation of this innkeeper is said to have been very funny.        

Undoubtedly, the innkeeper would have approved of this non-knickerbockered cyclist.

Doubtless before long there will be as rigid a system of etiquette established for bicycle weddings, as exists to-day for the ordinary sort. Probably in the near future it will be considered more common in fact for the bride and bridegroom to wheel up to the church on separate bicyles and, after they have been made one by the minister, to ride away on a tandem which might be ridden to the church by the principal bridesmaid and the best man. -1895, New York

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Victorian Snobs

The London Spectator Explains Bad Manners:

Snobbishness the Cause of Society's Rudeness— The Steady Improvement 

                                                 

“Did you hear? The smart people gave up being formally polite and making bows and ‘graceful inclinations of assent’ when the middle class grew polite and shopboys and shopgirls adopted the etiquette of the old regime?”

No doubt manners just now appear to be growing uglier and ruder. It is, however, merely a conventional, and not a real roughness and rudeness. And the reason for it is plain. The manners of the upper classes in England are putting on a veneer of roughness, and adopting the use of "rustication," to employ the architectural phrase, for the same reason that society is always changing or tending to change its place of meeting in the park. That reason is the desire to get away, to keep separate from the herd.

The smart people gave up being formally polite and making bows and "graceful inclinations of assent" when the middle class grew polite and shop-boys and shop-girls adopted the etiquette of the old regime. When the manners of those below them in the social scale became thoroughly polite, the only way of escape was the adoption of a self conscious roughness. It became the right thing to say, "May I have a dance" in Mayfair, because at middle class balls a beautiful bow and a formal demand have become the fashion.

Haven't you heard? It's for the same reason that we're always changing, or tending to change, our place of meeting in the park? We need to get away, to "keep separate from the herd." 

Society is only apparently unmannerly because it is trying to dodge its humbler followers and arrange a set of conventions which will not be pirated. As soon, however, as its retreat is discovered, it will have to find a new device. Then, in all probability, we shall see a reaction in favor of formality and our young men and maidens will bow and simper and pass formal compliments after the manner of the eighteenth century. But, after all, these things are only externals, and really matter very little. The main fact is that our manners in essentials are growing less, not more, rough.

If we take the wider view of the social situation, we shall see that men are less, not more, disagreeable than they used to be. Let any one who doubts this compare the way men treat each other when alone to the way in which they acted 40 years ago. Tho old ideas of what was fair in the way of "roosting" a fool or a boor or a nervous man have completely changed, and few now can be found to defend the old fashioned style of practical joke. Theodore Hook was not counted a specially rude or discourteous man by his contemporaries. If he tried to practice his form of wit now he would not be tolerated for an hour in the society of well bred people, and no doubt if even in the stables, his ways would be counted possible. Instead of our manners decaying they are steadily improving.—The London Spectator, 1896 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette from Feudal Japan

A Japanese “Page” or Servant, of a British Duke

Feudal Servants in Japan

The relation between mistress and maid or master and man in Japan is a curious combination of the democratic and the feudal. It is something of an honor to be a servant, and the jinrikisha boys and grooms are not reckoned good enough to be classed as such, but are called “tradesmen,” a class which in Japan is only a degree higher than the “eta,” or outcast. Grooms are excluded as a betting, gaming, cheating lot (the Japanese think it impossible for a groom to be honest), and the “rikisha” boys as rough people, without any manners.

Jinrikisha boys were considered rough and without any manners. They pulled rickshaws. The word rickshaw originates from the Japanese word jinrikisha  jin or “human” and riki or “power.”

A Japanese butler has to have sufficient knowledge of etiquette to entertain his master’s guests if his master is out. After rubbing his knees together, much hissing and kowtowing, he will invite you to take a seat— on the floor. He will then offer you five cups of tea— It is the number of cups that signifies, not the number of callers— and dropping on his heels with ease and grace, enter into an affable conversation, properly humble, but perlectly familiar, until his master arrives to relieve him. Even then he may stay in the room, and is quite likely to cut into the conversation, and to laugh at the smallest apology for a joke. The number of servants in a Japanese household is large and the pay small. They only get a few shillings a week and have to board themselves. — San Francisco Call, 1903

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia