Caviar Etiquette

Antique flatware for caviar: a rare, individual, sterling caviar spade in the Versailles flatware pattern, a bone caviar spoon, and a sterling handled, horn bowled, caviar server ~ The flavor of caviar is often referred to as an acquired taste, but those who enjoy it say it is “an intense explosion of complex flavors.” Caviar is a delicacy. It is the unfertilized eggs (roe) of sturgeon brined with a salt solution. The brining solution contributes a little to the overall palate, but caviar enthusiasts often savor the luxurious texture and indescribably rich taste of the caviar berries themselves. - Photo by Maura J. Graber, from “Reaching for the Right Fork”

Caviar is most often served as an hors d'oeuvre, heaped on crackers or toast, or spooned into scooped-out new potatoes. It may, however, also be served as a first course, presented in a small dish set in a small bowl of ice, with crusts of bread and a variety of traditional accompaniments, such as grated onion, sieved egg, and capers. 

A gentleman remembers that caviar is salty and that a little goes a long way. He uses his napkin carefully because black fish eggs can make an ugly stain on the front of his dress shirt. — From “A Gentleman at the Table,” — From “A Gentleman at the Table,” John Bridges and Bryan Curtis, 2004

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Restaurant Coupon Etiquette

A gentleman does not assume that he will be given inferior service simply because he has offered a discount coupon to pay for part of his meal.

When a gentleman is dining at a restaurant and has a coupon for a discounted meal or a free drink, dessert, or other item, he offers the coupon to his server before he and his fellow diners have begun to order their meal. The server may say, “I'll take the coupon at the end of the meal,” but at least he will know to ask for it before totaling the bill. A gentleman does not assume that he will be given inferior service simply because he has offered a discount coupon to pay for part of his meal.

If a gentleman makes use of a discount coupon, or if he has been offered a complimentary item, such as a drink, an appetizer, or a dessert, he leaves his server the same tip he would have provided if he were paying full price He knows that his bill will usually indicate the pre-discount price of the meal. If he must consult a menu to determine the price of the complimentary item, he does so. — From “A Gentleman at the Table,” John Bridges and Bryan Curtis, 2004

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Humor for Corn Eaters

“Fork never made to eat corn on the cob”?!? Au contraire! Victorian “Green Corn” was a popular food to serve in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s. Over a sixty to seventy year period, numerous green-corn forks were invented and patented for eating ears of corn on the cob. – The corn fork shown above was made in the 1920’s, as was the patented dish with cover for serving corn on the cob.

Fork Never Made to Eat Corn on the Cob…

May Be Breach of Table Etiquette, But the Fellow Who Attacks the Ear With Two Hands is the One Who Gets the Thrills

There isn't much joy in eating corn on the cob with a fork, is there? I'll say there isn't. At least not for the fellow who likes to get all the thrills that go with hold ing a big, juicy ear in both your mitts. This may not be according to Hoyle, and may be a violation of the rules of table etiquette.

But the fellow who is guided by the old rule that “fingers were made before knives and forks and other eatin’ utensils” and attacks the said big, juicy ear in a way that would make John D. Rockenfeller green with envy, is the guy who gets the thrills and all the trimmings thrown in.

Saw a person a few days ago in a crowded eating place trying to pry corn off a cob with a fork. That may be good, straight-laced table etiquette, but to me that fork seemed about as much in place as the Kaiser in Paris.

Really, I felt sorry for the person, for nearby were others who were getting every bit of the kernels clear down to the place where they were fastened onto the cob. One fellow made the remark that it was so good that he felt like taking it back and asking the waiter to put more corn on his cob.

The only way to eat an ear of corn is to butter it well, with a sprinkling of salt and pepper and then make a “head-on” attack. The fellow who has insecure teeth at a time of this kind is out of luck. The man who eats his corn this way is never happier than when he has finished the job and is licking his mouth with his tongue, unless it is when he is in the middle of the operation.

The same rule applies to watermelons. There is no pleasure using a fork, the real pleasure is running your mouth into the red, juicy fruit, getting every drop of the sweet flavored thing. Yum! Yum!– By Al Falfa of Riverside Daily Press, 1920

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Travel and a Toothpick Faux Pas

A trio of antique toothpicks– “Three 18th to 19th century toothpicks, including a late-Georgian or early Regency era toothpick, that retracts back into itself― A toothpick is something that should NEVER be seen at a beautifully set table, yet worldwide, toothpicks are more commonplace on dining tables than one might believe. Culturally, they are accepted in some areas as long as one covers his or her mouth while picking the teeth. But this only leads someone to imagine what’s going on behind that hand. We’re all for good dental hygiene, but please... not at the dining table.” And may we add, not in the jewelry shop?!? – Image and text from the book, What Have We Here?: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond... 
by Etiquipedia Site Editor, Maura J. Graber

A Visit to London and a Little Lesson In Etiquette

“I ran over for a short visit to London,” said a globe trotter. “On the boat was a pretty widow from Altona who disgusted and amused all hands one day by saying: ‘I am surprised that a fast and expensive boat like this should fail to supply us with toothpicks.’ “She thought toothpicks indispensable, like napkins or forks. For thinking so we set her down as a hecker. But wait…

“I dined during my visit in London at Prince’s, in Piccadilly, and at the Savoy, in the room that overlooks the embankment and the river, and at the Carlton, where I paid a dollar for a plate of soup, and at all these restaurants, which are admittedly the finest and the smartest and the most fashionable in the world. At all of them there were toothpicks on the table, each toothpick done up in a sterilized envelope.

“This taught me a lesson. It taught me that it is narrow and provincial to despise people for their disregard of certain small rules of etiquette. The things we despise them for, which may be glaring errors in Seattle or New York, may be again, as like as not, the correct thing in Paris and London.” –New York Press, 1906

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Georgian Era Dining and Etiquette

Dinnertime for the elite became later and later, and in contrast to the meagre breakfast, a formal dinner could be a dazzling array of food.

In Georgian times lunch hardly existed, although for those who breakfasted early, a small snack might be eaten. In towns many shops sold pies and pastries, while street sellers offered shellfish and other ready-to-eat items. Dinner was the main meal, eaten at any time in the afternoon between two and five o'clock. The timing of dinner was related to the hours of daylight, since the cooks needed to work in daylight, especially for formal dinners with guests where preparations could take hours. 

Dinnertime for the elite became later and later, and in contrast to the meagre breakfast, a formal dinner could be a dazzling array of food. The first course, served on the table all at once, had numerous dishes, and was followed by a second course with a smaller selection of meats and fish, along with savoury and sweet items. Finally, a selection of nuts, sweetmeats and occasionally fruit constituted the dessert course, at which point the servants withdrew.

When Woodforde entertained Squire Custance and other guests, he did his best to provide a suitable feast: ‘I gave them for dinner, a couple of chicken boiled and a tongue, a leg of mutton boiled and capers, and batter pudding for the first course. Second, a couple of ducks rosted and green peas, some artichokes, tarts and blamange. After dinner, almonds and raisins, oranges and strawberries. Mountain and port wines.’ Even in more modest households, the hostess rose after the dessert course when guests were present and led the ladies to the drawing room, leaving the men to their own conversation for a while before they rejoined the ladies for tea or coffee.

An everyday family dinner was more restrained, and Woodforde routinely recorded meals such as ‘Dinner calfs feet stewed, hash mutton & etc…’ or ‘Dinner to day hashed calfs head and a loin of lamb rosted with stewed gooseberrries.’ For better-off people like Woodforde, even mundane dinners could be lengthy affairs, but most working people had no more than an hour's break for dinner, before continuing with their labours. Supper was the day’s final meal and was usually something insubstantial.

Table manners were of importance to the higher classes, although the poorest were more concerned with survival than etiquette. In a book on manners, the Reverend John Trusler warned how to avoid appearing low class or impolite: ‘Eating quick, or very slow, at meals, is characteristic of the vulgar; the first infers poverty, that you have not had a good meal for some time; the last, if abroad [dining out], that that you dislike entertainment: if at home [and eating slowly], that you are rude enough to set before your friends what you cannot eat yourself.’ From “Jane Austen’s England,” by Roy and Leslie Adkins

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Suggested 1859 Godey’s Table Setting

 

Suggested table setting illustrated in Godey’s Lady’s Book, March, 1859 – Featured on the table in this illustration are several items of glassware for serving food including a celery vase, butter dishes, salt dishes, and a castor set. In the mid-nineteenth century, celery was a very costly vegetable to purchase and became something of a statement of income when it was featured prominently in a tall vase in the center of the table. Butter dishes were round rather than rectangular because butter was made either by hand on the farm or at a creamery. It was shaped into round balls or pats, unlike the 4 ounce sticks common today. Open salt dishes required salt to be spooned onto your food, rather than shaking it from a salt shaker. Pepper was separated from salt and was part of the castor set. Castor sets, also called cruet sets, were important for adding spice and flavor to food. They held oil, vinegar, mustards and peppers. 

– From the Corning Museum of Glass

This table setting was illustrated in the March, 1859 issue of Godey's Lady's Book, which became one of the most widely circulated magazines in the mid-nineteenth century. The magazine included fashion plates, guides on homekeeping and cooking, and cultural essays.

The editor, Sarah Josepha Hale (1788-1879), was the leading advocate for the nationalization of Thanksgiving Day. She worked tirelessly for years to achieve the establishment of the holiday, using the publication as a platform for her cause. It was her strong belief Thanksgiving would help unify the divided nation.

Featured on the table in this illustration are several items of glassware for serving food including a celery vase, butter dishes, salt dishes, and a castor set. In the mid-nineteenth century, celery was a very costly vegetable to purchase and became something of a statement of income when it was featured prominently in a tall vase in the center of the table. Butter dishes were round rather than rectangular because butter was made either by hand on the farm or at a creamery. It was shaped into round balls or pats, unlike the 4 ounce sticks common today. 

Open salt dishes required salt to be spooned onto your food, rather than shaking it from a salt shaker. Pepper was separated from salt and was part of the castor set. Castor sets, also called cruet sets, were important for adding spice and flavor to food. They held oil, vinegar, mustards and peppers. – The Corning Museum of Glass, 2013

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Mid-19th C. Wine Etiquette

If either a lady or gentleman is invited to take wine at table, they must never refuse; if they do not drink, they need only touch the wine to their lips. Do not offer to help a lady to wine until you see she has finished her soup or fish.
– Photo source, Pinterest

It is not now the custom to ask a lady across the table to take wine with you. It is expected that every lady will be properly helped to wine by the gentleman who takes her to the table, or who sits next to her. But if you are in company where the old custom prevails, it would be better breeding to follow the custom of the place, rather than by an omission of what your entertainer considers civility, to prove him, in face of his guests, to be either ignorant or vulgar. If either a lady or gentleman is invited to take wine at table, they must never refuse; if they do not drink, they need only touch the wine to their lips. Do not offer to help a lady to wine until you see she has finished her soup or fish.

Always wipe your mouth before drinking, as nothing is more ill-bred than to grease your glass with your lips. Do not propose to take wine with your host; it is his privilege to invite you. It is considered well bred to take the same wine as that selected by the person with whom you drink. When, how ever, the wine chosen by him is unpalatable to you, it is al lowable to take that which you prefer, at the same time apologizingly saying, "Will you permit me to drink claret?" or whatever wine you have selected. – From Arthur Martine’s Handbook, 1866

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Mid-1800’s Wine Etiquette

An assortment of 19th century glassware – “Wine is considered an indispensable part of a good dinner, to which ladies and gentlemen have been formally invited. Even if you are a total-abstinence man yourself, you will not, if you are really a gentleman, attempt to compel all your guests to be so against their wish.”

– Image source, Corning Glass

ALMOST every gentleman has wine at his table whenever he has invited guests. Indeed, wine is considered an indispensable part of a good dinner, to which ladies and gentlemen have been formally invited. Even if you are a total-abstinence man yourself, you will not, if you are really a gentleman, attempt to compel all your guests to be so against their wish. If you are so fanatical that you have what is called “conscientious scruples” against furnishing wine, then you should invite none to dine who are not as fanatical and bigoted as yourself. 

You must consider that a gentleman may have “conscientious scruples” against dining with you on cold water, for there are even temperate and sober gentleman who would go without meat as soon as be deprived of their glass of wine at dinner. The vegetarian, who would force his guests to dine on cabbages and onions, is hardly guilty of a greater breach of etiquette than the total-abstinence fanatic who would compel his guests to go without wine. — From Arthur Martine’s Handbook, 1866

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia