Teen Etiquette for 1929

There are people so terribly rude 

That they really ought to be sued,

For with jaws wide apart 

In a hurry they start 

Munching and crunching their food. 

— M. B.

1. Nothing less than your own funeral excuses lateness to lunch.

2. When seating a lady do not shove her into her soup.

3. If you have been graduated from the bib class, do not tuck your napkin under your chine, or into your vest.

4. Using a toothpick is never permissible in public. If you must use a pick try your talents on a rock pile.

5. Should it be necessary to remark that the lunch table is not a dressing table? It seems to be.

6. Remember that the lunch table is not an Open Forum and omit quarrels and personal remarks from the conversation.–From Mind Your Manners, East High School Denver, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and “The Wine Question”

“The hostess who simply does not offer wine to any guest under any circumstances, is using her influence effectively and courageously in the cause of temperance…” — The temperance movement began in the U.S. in the early 1800s. It was created in an attempt to limit drinking alcohol. The movement combined the concern for general social ills with religion and practical health concerns. Done in this manner, temperance was appealing to many in the middle-class who were interested in reform.

The wine question is one that disturbs many a dinner-giving family. Shall wine be served or not, is a growing problem. Society has at last reached the point where it is not considered a breach of good form to serve a dinner without wine. Such a course is sanctioned by the example of many high social leaders; and when it is the result of a temperance principle it has the respect of every diner-out. 

No lady or gentleman will find fault with the absence of wine at his host’s table. It is good form for a host to serve or not serve wine, just as he chooses. Apollinaris can be made to take the place of stronger waters, and no embarrassment follow. The hostess who simply does not offer wine to any guest under any circumstances, is using her influence effectively and courageously in the cause of temperance and in support of Christian principles.— G. H. Sandison in How to Behave and How to Amuse, 1895

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. Flatware Changes and History

“… the Comstock silver lode was discovered in Nevada in 1859, and this provided much of the materials for the silverware industry. At first, mass-produced flatware was rather crude, but eventually shaped dies and better machinery created deeper impressions, so handles became elaborately decorated, even to the point of reproducing actual figures.”

Flatware also changed with the times, and so did its use. Forks originally had but two very sharp tines. The food was speared, elevated, and then pushed into the mouth with the aid of the flat side of a knife. Forks slowly added more tines, and the convention of cutting food—switching the fork from the left to the right hand, putting down the knife, and then using the fork to lift a piece of food to the mouth—came into vogue. 

Silver plated tableware, which became available in the 1840s, was the first step in bringing the Victorian notion of elegant dining to the middle classes. It started in and around Sheffield, England, but electroplating was being done in the United States by that time as well.

In addition, the Comstock silver lode was discovered in Nevada in 1859, and this provided much of the materials for the silverware industry. At first, mass-produced flatware was rather crude, but eventually shaped dies and better machinery created deeper impressions, so handles became elaborately decorated, even to the point of reproducing actual figures. 

Tea sets were quite popular, including a coffeepot, teapot, and a hot-water pot, as well as a sugar bowl, a creamer, and a waste bowl. By the late nineteenth century, these sets came in myriad styles, including neoclassical, Persian, Elizabethan, Jacobean, Japanese, Etruscan, and even Moorish. 

Things soon got out of hand. Castors containing condiments and seasonings made sense, but then these sets started to include egg cups, bells, and bouquet holders.— From the 2010 book by Christopher Kimball, “Fannie’s Last Supper”

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Opera and Theatre Etiquette

Still another little blunder illustrated here is the program on the edge of the box. If this program fluttered to the stage during the performance it would spoil the presentation, and would be unkind and inconsiderate toward the players.

Do not make the mistake of retaining an impression of the picture shown here as the correct way for men and women to appear in the theatre or opera box. Several blunders are illustrated.

There is the matter of dress, for instance. Three people in the party are in full evening dress; the man using the opera glasses is in his business suit. And the same man is still further illustrating his lack of good taste by studying the people in the audience through his glasses.

Assuming that the four people have come to the theatre together, they are incorrectly seated. The two seats in front should be occupied by the women, while the men should be seated where the women now are. No well-bred man ever sits with his back to a woman in his party, nor does he sit with his legs conspicuously crossed and his hands in his pockets as does the man in our picture above.

Still another little blunder illustrated here is the program on the edge of the box. If this program fluttered to the stage during the performance it would spoil the presentation, and would be unkind and inconsiderate toward the players. If it fell directly on the audience below, it would annoy someone and disturb the people around. The correct place for the program is in one's lap. — From Lillian Eichler’s “Etiquette Problems in Pictures,” 1922

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Dining-Room Aesthetics

“… the notion of allowing the public— one’s friends into the family dining-room was debated vigorously for some time, and was not common in midcentury. It was the existence of new money, of created wealth, that turned the dining-room from a refuge from the world into a place of self-expression and creativity.” — Image taken from the book by Christopher Kimball, “Fannie’s Last Supper”

As the Industrial Revolution elevated the upper middle class in terms of wealth, the dining-room became the domestic showcase. It was a semi-public room, one that could be displayed to one’s peers. This was quite different from the period prior to 1880, when the dining-room’s primary purpose was to reinforce the sanctity of family life. Some dining-rooms featured stained glass and an organ: it was a place for a Christian family to reassert its bonds and its faith.

In fact, the notion of allowing the public— one’s friends– into the family dining-room was debated vigorously for some time, and was not common in midcentury. It was the existence of new money, of created wealth, that turned the dining-room from a refuge from the world into a place of self-expression and creativity. Women, in particular, were interested in being perceived as artists, not just housewives, and thus the home became a blank canvas on which to paint their sensibilities and notions of personal artistry. 

Of course, architects and designers wanted the dining-room to reflect modernity and practicality, hence the pass-through pantry and the sideboard for convenient storage and buffets. In terms of decoration, ferns and trailing ivy were often used in the bay window, paintings of hunting dogs on the walls, fruit on the sideboard, and partially closed blinds on a south-facing window. Many classical motifs were incorporated as well, whether in the wallpaper or through the use of pedestal urns.— From Richard Kimball in “Fannie’s Last Supper,” 2010

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Kind Edwardian Animal Lovers Speak

The coat illustrated was designed for the use of the house dog when out for his daily exercise. 

The coat illustrated was designed for the use of the house dog when out for his daily exercise. It was made double, of heavy black cloth, bound with red ribbon and ornamented by brass buttons, two of which fasten it up the front. Instead of binding it with ribbon, red cloth could be used. This band which holds the coat down slips through two slits, made about two, and one-half inches from the bottom of the coat and fastens underneath. – From A. F.

The top of a Christmas tree is usually thin and unsightly, so every year we cut off the top of the children's tree and use it as a Christmas tree for the cats and the dog. We plant it firmly in a tub of wet sand and hang upon it fried smelts, catnip and a barley sugar dog for Rags. It is most amusing to see our pets help themselves to their presents and I think the family enjoy it almost as much as the animals do. – From F. M. F.

For years I have been giving the birds crumbs in the winter when the snow is on the ground. Last year, as a Christmas treat, I had the man who comes in from the country bring me a large bunch of ripened grain (rye) just as it was cut, and I tied it up in an old pear tree. Day after day the birds crowded upon that bunch and picked out the grain. I could almost imagine it was summer in my garden. – From Mrs A. L. Williams. —The Housekeeper Magazine

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Fashionable Edwardian Lunches

For a luncheon sweet, if one be tired of the Coupe Jacques so excellent here, the order for two should be one Savarin with cerise d’espagne, which means in plain American “a ring of sponge cake” made without baking powder; it gets its fluffiness from yeast and eggs. Over the cake and soaking into it is a sauce made of fruit syrup flavored with Maraschino and the hole is filled with whipped and sweetened cream garnished profusely with Spanish cherries and leaves of angelica. —
Image of Coupe Jacques courtesy of Pinterest

If one has plenty of time it is quite “the thing” to take luncheon with a friend, Dutch treat or American, at one of the hotels on Fifth avenue. In spite of reports to the contrary it does not cost much more to lunch here in quiet elegance than it does on the top floor of our noisy department stores. The surroundings here are in harmony with one’s self respect and the feeling of satisfaction is well worth the few dimes’ difference. 

Among the specialties here, not too expensive for the ordinary woman, are “eggs Posen.” This dish consists of toast upon which reposes, in a pond of pale tomato sauce flavored with truffles, some stewed oyster crabs-only a few topped by a beautifully poached egg. Another dish is “egg Valentine,” which is something like the above with fresh crab meat as a substitute for the oyster crabs and a sauce Hollandaise in place of the tomato sauce. The best of all their egg dishes for those who can't abide oyster crabs, is “eggs Benedict.” These appear in pairs, the foundation being muffins split and toasted. On top of them are thin slices of broiled ham and the whole is surrounded with Hollandaise sauce enriched by butter and eggs. A poached or daintily fried egg surmounts this.

For a luncheon sweet, if one be tired of the Coupe Jacques so excellent here, the order for two should be one Savarin with cerise d’espagne, which means in plain American “a ring of sponge cake” made without baking powder; it gets its fluffiness from yeast and eggs. Over the cake and soaking into it is a sauce made of fruit syrup flavored with Maraschino and the hole is filled with whipped and sweetened cream garnished profusely with Spanish cherries and leaves of angelica. One order of each of the egg dishes is enough for two if some other substantial dish is ordered at the same time. A salad mayonnaise makes a good combination or a simple salad Romaine if the other be too hearty.

After such a luncheon, suppose we dine late over on Broadway. We will order stuffed red peppers and we will get along with our piece de resistance, as a vegetable, fresh or canned red peppers filled with bread moistened with cream, rich with butter and bristling with chopped fresh mushrooms. These are served like a pyramid, upside down, in a delicious sauce seasoned with fresh tomato. The salad chiffonade here too is novel as it is made of strange materials and tastes far better than the thing by the same name elsewhere.— From The Housekeeper, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette Queries of 1883

 Of course you must use the “Esq.” when directing your envelope to your gentleman friend. Wish the friend “Happy New-Year,” and thank him, and when your friend asks you to take cream, say “Thanks.” It is better taste for one lady to introduce her gentleman caller to another lady, if there are but few in the room, than not to do so.

Answers to Correspondents 

F. G. M. — There are many gifts suitable for a lady to give a gentleman, such as a book rack, an embroidered fire screen, a rug made of a leopard’s skin, a silver paper knife, an engraving handsomely framed, a scarf pin, a pair of silk socks knitted by the donor, a new book, English crystal bottles for his dressing stand, a foot rest to contain slippers, which may be made of plush and mounted on ebonized wood, a plaque of porcelain to adorn his room, a pair of sleeve-buttons, a quaint thermometer, a stylographic pen, a pair of antlers to use as a hat rack, or a card case, note-books, stationery, etc…

AN IGNORANT GIRL — Of course you must use the “Esq.” when directing your envelope to your gentleman friend. Wish the friend “Happy New-Year,” and thank him, and when your friend asks you to take cream, say “Thanks.” It is better taste for one lady to introduce her gentleman caller to another lady, if there are but few in the room, than not to do so.

H. J. — If the lady of the house is not at home to introduce the young lady, the gentlemen must retire, leaving their cards.

LUCIE — You will find illustrations of braided basques in Bazar Nos. 40, 42, and 43, Vol. XV. Use small bullet-shaped crocheted buttons on a cloth jacket. Get lady’s cloth, and send for woolen plaid in dark Madras colors not in Scotch plaids. Dark green cloth, with felt hat to match, would suit you.

L. A. C. — Ficelle-colored, tan, or écru cloth or cashmere will make a handsome over-dress to use with your garnet velvet skirt; and there is now such a fancy for red and green together that you might have a green polonaise of cloth or of brocade of mixed red and green.

MABEL — We can not advise you or any one else how to dispose of any kind of articles.

ELEANOR R. — It is in very bad taste for a layman to assume clerical costume.

A SUBSCRIBER.— Consult a dealer about the publication of your card designs.

MRS. E. G. B. — We do not issue New Year’s invitations in New York. Ladies sometimes send their cards, but even that fashion is passing away.— Volume XVI, Number 2: Harper's Bazar, 1883

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia