1930’s Mourning Etiquette

By the 1930’s, after the enormous loss of lives in WWI and the worldwide Influenza Epidemic of 1918 and 1919,  many rules of mourning had fallen by the wayside. One of these was black trimmed mourning stationary, which was seen less and less frequently. As people persevered and life went on, especially in large, growing cities, the previously watched social regulations for those in mourning, became enforced less often. – Above, a 1913 letter signifying a death is mailed, using black trimmed mourning stationary.

 

Question: What is the etiquette in regard to mourning apparel?

Answer: Regulations for mourning are no longer as strict as those prevailing several generations ago since many today do not believe in going into mourning at all. Some prefer it as a protection against thoughtless remarks.

People do not put on black for aunts, uncles or cousins unless there is a deep tie of affection. Today many omit the long mourning veils and crepe.

Lustreless silks and plain, quiet garments constitute mourning. Children, if wearing mourning at all, are usually dressed all in white. A man’s mourning apparel usually consists of a black band on the hat or left sleeve. – Imperial Valley Press, 13 May, 1931

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1930’s Hotel Etiquette Q & A

A 1930’s scrapbook page of ephemera collected while a young lady was traveling.

Q & A on Hotels 

Question: How are hotel reservations made?

Answer: Either by letter or telegraph, but either letter or telegram should state clearly the hour of arrival, number of persons, whether room is to be with or without bath, and the approximate length of the stay. Reservations by letter may be made more explicit in regard to the type of room desired and for that reason are preferable. If a telegram is sent by a married woman to a hotel, this is one of the few occasions when “Mrs.” is included in the signature.

 

Question: What is the correct procedure upon arriving at the hotel?

Answer: Hand luggage is handed to the bell boy meeting the bus or taxi. The guests then goes directly to the hotel desk to claim the reservation and to register, after which the necessary instructions in regard to visitors and telephone calls expected are left with the clerk. – Imperial Valley Press, 1930

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

“Antiquated Etiquette?” No Such Thing

Above: An 1889 Western Union Telegram

Many times when I talk about etiquette, people will tell me that too many rules are antiquated in the older books. This is an opportunity to explain to people how good manners never change, only the circumstances in which they are used change. The 1892 article below speaks of unasked for telegrams, which arrived to unwitting recipients with charges due. They cost the recipient money when the recipient never requested the telegram be sent in the first place. This breach of good manners is very reminiscent of junk mail sent and arriving with postage due, or worse yet, unsolicited faxes. In the late 1980’s, fax machines were a necessary expense for running a successful business. By the mid-1990’s, fax machines were extremely affordable and the misuse and poor manners began by just about every opportunist who had access to a fax machine. These unsolicited faxes cost the recipients in toner or ink, paper, electricity and the expense of possibly missing an important fax that you were actually expecting. “Junk” faxes became just as ubiquitous poor manners as “spam” and “junk” emails soon became.

Pay Your Telegrams

No business practice is more uncommercial than the sending of telegrams at the expense of receivers, when they are solely in the interest of the senders. Too many persons engaged in merchandising are so hopelessly ignorant of mercantile etiquette as not to know that the sending of telegrams as described is an inexcusable fault. The sending of unpaid telegrams has grown to be a nuisance of such a magnitude that radical measures are suggested for putting an end to it.

A. B. & Co. receive a telegram that reads as follows: "Send one bale cheese cloth, 2½c. per yard; date bill June 1, thirty extra 2 off ten days." Commission on that sale may reach $1.25; the cost of telegram was 63c., the interest for the extra time 25c., total 85c. – leaving the seller 37c. gross commission. Those who are so utterly regardless of commercial courtesy might be made to respect the rights of others if sellers would advise the telegraph offices to accept no unpaid telegrams for their accounts. This would quickly bring the hopelessly ignorant class to a realizing sense of the courteous obligations due from one merchant to another. – Dry Goods Economist, April 1892

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Medical Etiquette of Physicians

A selection of medicinal spoons from the late 1800’s and early 1900’s. One ceramic spoon is labeled “Table, Dessert and Tea” for differing measurements. I’m not exactly sure if doctors ever prescribed a “dessert” sized amount of liquid medicine. I get a chuckle every time I read the spoon. The side of the spoon reads: 
Graduated Medicine Spoon
Registered  March 22, 1873
S. Maw Son & Thompson London.

A Lawsuit is Brought over One 

Physician’s Manners

Mr. Ashurst, a medical man at Pendleton, Lancashire, believing himself to have been treated by a brother practitioner named Anderton, at New Mills, in a manner contrary to professional etiquette, endeavored to relieve his feelings by dispatching to his rival a telegram in the words, “Your conduct is abominable, and I shall not fail to resent it.” This was an attack that Mr. Anderton was not disposed to put up with, for telegrams are necessarily seen by more eyes than one, and a charge of “abominable conduct” is apt to set village tongues wagging. So he called on the libeller for an apology, and this satisfaction not being forth-coming, he brought an action of libel, which was tried at Manchester.

The original quarrel was, it appeared, about a patient who, being dissatisfied with Mr. Ashurst, called in Mr. Anderton, who ought, it was alleged, to have notified the fact to his dismissed predecessor. But Mr. Justice Day declared that he had no sympathy with what he called “violating the right which doctors claim of a monopoly to kill,” and he added, “I know doctors claim a right not to be interfered with, but the public have as much right to change their doctors as they have to change their bakers.” For all that, the judge stigmatized the action as “a most trumpery one,” and the jury, having found a verdict for the plaintiff, with a farthing damages, left each party to pay his own costs. – London News, 1894

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Noble Ladies Refined British Barmaids

William Nicholson’s, “Bar Maid”, 1898, lithograph, 

(British, 1893-1963) – Image source, Pinterest 

To Benefit Barmaids

A movement is on foot in England, fostered by a group of noble ladies interested in the subject, to protect barmaids as to their hours of labor. It is estimated that there are 120,000 young women in London in licensed houses who work from 15 to 18 hours a day on weekdays and from seven to nine hours on Sundays, with one Sunday off in each month. Surely when so much is said about an eight hour day for men, these young women ought not to be forgotten. 

They find a haven of rest in their brief intervals of leisure at the Morley Rooms, established by the late Mr. Samuel Morley and now under the superintendence of Miss C. M. Gough. Here barmaids out of work can stay, paying a very small sum for board and lodging. But the social part of the work is the most valuable. Barmaids are brought into contact with ladies of education and refinement. The rooms are used for reading, writing, music, conversation, rest and advice, and books are lent from an excellent library.- London Truth, 1894

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

No Etiquette Breached by Emperor

Secretary Moody received telegrams from newspaper editors and others, inquiring as to the reports that Emperor William’s inspection of the Kearsarge was considered a breach of Naval etiquette. It is long established custom for foreign officials to inspect battleships of friendly nations and is regarded as an honor.
Public domain image of the USS Kearsarge, 1899

No Breach of Etiquette

WASHINGTON, June 29.—Secretary Moody today received telegrams from newspaper editors and others, inquiring as to the published reports that Emperor William’s inspection of the Kearsarge was sharply criticized in the Navy department, and was considered a breach of Naval etiquette. In reply the secretary sent the following telegram:

“No criticism of the Emperor’s inspection of the Kearsarge has been uttered by any responsible person in this department as far as I can ascertain. I am informed, further, by Admiral Taylor, Chief of the Bureau of Navigation, that the Emperor’s inspection is in no way subject to criticism, and can be considered in no light other than courteous attention on the Emperor’s part to us. It is long established custom for foreign officials to inspect battleships of friendly nations and is regarded as an honor. Signed, William H. Moody, Secretary of the Navy. - Los Angeles Herald, June, 1903

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Confusion Over Finger Bowl Doily Use

By 1934, doilies had possibly fallen out of fashion in some circles, but they were certainly still used in many homes as part of the “finger bowl ballet.” It’s possible that this woman writing to Mrs. Post believed that the doily’s intended use was to wipe the fingers, when it is merely to sit under the finger bowl, whether on the plate or above the place setting, to the upper left of the dessert plate.

Dear Mrs. Post: While dining in the house of a stranger the other night I noticed that her waitress brought in a dessert plate with a fine lace doily on it and on top of that, a finger bowl. The silver for dessert was already at the places. I had never had a finger bowl brought in just this way. My hostess removed it and the doily from the dessert plate and put the bowl down on the doily at the left to the back of the dessert plate. The dessert was a rich fudge cake, which would have soiled the doily miserably. Is it correct to let a doily take the place of a plate which matches the finger bowl and which stands on top of the dessert plate usually without any doily between them?

Answer: I don't think I understand your question. I don't see how the cake could possibly come in contact with the doily. Doilies are not often used, but when they are, you pick yours up with the finger bowl and put both down together on the tablecloth where there is space. Then you whatever the dessert may be is put on the plate. You certainly would not put food on the doily, ever! — By Emily Post, 1934

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Tips on Finger Bowls

Did your waiter bring a bowl of strong yellow or bronze tinged, coarse-colored water, and no napkin? Yikes! 

The style of serving finger bowls almost always accords with the prices charged for the dinner. This waiter brings you a bowl of strong yellow or bronze tinged, coarse-colored water, and no napkin. He will bring you a check then at least twenty-five cents less than you expected; but another waiter, who prepares the finger bowls in your sight with ostentation and sprays the perfumes in them with a lavish hand, will charge you at least fifty cents more than you figured it in your mind when giving the order, and he is sure to bring back nothing less than a quarter in change, that you may fee him liberally. 

It is peculiar to finger bowl New York restaurants that they never have any five cent pieces. The smallest piece of change a waiter ever brings is a dime. That is only with plain glass finger bowls. If the bowl is cut glass, the change is in quarter or halves. The only man who ever escaped giving a fee is said to be the one who told the waiter that the place was run much better under the former proprietor. The waiter was so dazed that he broke two finger bowls, and in the confusion the man got away. -New York Star, March 1887

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia