Vintage and Modern Picnic Etiquette

Outdoor Meals Away from Home ~ The “Nose-Bag is News”

"Painless picnics! Let's have more of them. Is your family the sort that's always getting the urge to lock the door, jump in the car and get away from it all? If so, then maybe you have already learned that picnics can be less trouble than staying at home. Or, has your glow of enthusiasm become dimmed by too much sandwich making, salad fixing and egg deviling? From now on resolve to do it the casual way. Get out the hamper and the list. The hamper holds the ready packed plates, salt, sugar and napkins. The list begins with coffee and ends with matches. Best of all, it takes just about twenty minutes to run down the list and drop in things. Makings are taken instead of finished dishes. In place of sandwiches, sliced bread, butter, spreads and cold meats are tucked in. Deviled eggs simply mean that eggs were boiled while breakfast was eaten, then put in the basket along with prepared mustard, lemon and mayonnaise. By the way, have you ever eaten deviled eggs that were made while listening to the pounding of the surf or to the lilt of a bird's song in the woods? They taste twice as good. Try it for yourself sometime. On the other hand, perhaps your family likes to do everything at home and then just loaf at the picnic. Then the nose-bag is news. Many find it a distinct improvement over the regular kind of picnic because the clearing up and unpacking afterwards are eliminated this is the system: New paper bags are used, one for each member of the party. Food is packed so that it is removed in the order it is to be eaten – sandwiches, salads (in paper containers) and pickles at the top of the bag; fruit and cookies at the bottom. Chill all foods, putting them into the bag just before leaving the house. At beach picnics, the children will like to have stunts in order to fill that long stretch between lunch and swim time. Occasionally put "stunt and penalty" slips in each nose-bag, for after lunch performance. Lunch over, each person leaves his leavings in his bag, after which the bags are collected and burned.

Forster IDEAL Picnic Package ~ Before modern day plastic sporks were available, wooden utensils like these were used for picnics.  They'd be tossed into the bags of “leavings” after the picnic, then burned before you left the picnic grounds. 

Then there are the families who go in bunches. Possibly a group of neighbors enjoy spending the day together at a park in the country. In order not to work a hardship on any single one, this plan has been most successfully tried: Each family takes its turn acting as general picnic host. The host family plans the days program from start to finish assigns to each of the six guest families a certain food to bring for the whole crowd (salad from one family, sandwiches from another, cake from another, etc...) ; furnishes the picnic dishes, the hot or cold drink, the tablecloth, the paper and kindling for the fire, and games; and assumes all table setting and clean up responsibilities. By the time summer is over, each family has served its turn only once as host, and has had six rollicking picnics to enjoy and guest role."  From "Sunset's Host and Hostess Book," 1940

The well stocked picnic hamper for your guests.

Picnic Etiquette

The summer months provide people with many wonderful opportunities to dine outside their homes; be it in their backyard, or at a park, or at the beach, picnics are a very popular dining option for people who want to enjoy the great outdoors. Meals outdoors were probably first enjoyed during the Middle Ages, when hunting feasts became a favorite activity of the leisure class. The English word “picnic" is said to come from the French word “pique-nique,” which was used in the 17th century to describe gourmands who provided their own wine when dining with out with friends.  It does not require special occasion to enjoy a picnic; just good food , good weather and good company.

For the Guests:

• Offer to bring a dish.  If the hosts accepts your offer, double the recipe in case extra guests attend.
• Ask your host if children are allowed, if not specified on the invitation.  Sometimes the host does not specify when it is an “adults only” affair.
• If the hosts have the food arranged buffet style, just take one serving.  You can always go back for seconds. Everyone has attended events where the guests in front of them pile their plates high, and then there is hardly any food remaining, by the time the people at the end of the line are ready to help themselves.
• If you are a vegetarian, the time to ask your host about the meatless options available is when you are responding to the invitation, not when the food is being served.
• Be considerate when playing outdoor games, especially if your group is sharing space with others who are having picnics of their own. 
• Watch foul language, avoid heated discussions, and watch your alcohol intake.  Keep the environment festive and fun.
• Clean up after yourself.  Your hosts will have enough to deal without having to be on trash duty.
• Thank your host for an enjoyable time. Following up with a written note of thanks is always a nice touch.

For the Host and/or Hostess:

• Make sure your guests have a comfortable environment to enjoy the foods you have prepared.
• If possible, use colorful, partitioned plastic picnic dishes.  Partitions make it easier to put meat, vegetables and salad all on one plate. Regular plates are fine, but partition plates can make serving oneself easier.
• Have a variety of refreshing beverages on hand, alcoholic and nonalcoholic in nature, along with plenty of water to keep your guests refreshed and hydrated.
• Old standby picnic foods such as hamburgers, hot dogs and vegetarian versions of these for your vegetarian guests, are always great comfort foods. Other finger foods, such as corn on the cob are usually enjoyed by all in the picnic setting.
• If you are hosting a picnic away from home, invest in a sturdy hamper, a basket that is light , with a long life and plenty of room for the food, utensils and beverage containers. Waterproof paper bags for leftovers, paper napkins and such, are wise to have on hand if there are no waste receptacles nearby.
• No matter how choose to picnic, make sure you have a good time and thank your guests for coming. Remember, there are other places they could’ve chosen to spend their time and they chose to spend it with you!

The Art of Packing a Picnic Hamper 

by Amy Vanderbilt, 1957

"It’s an art to pack a picnic hamper with the kind of food that makes picnickers glad they didn’t stay at home. Cold fried chicken or little cold veal or ham pies, English style, make delicious out-of-hand eating. Chicken or potato salad in a glass jar combine easily at the picnic spot with crisp lettuce which has been brought separately in a damp towel and like the other foods mentioned are, to my mind, more palatable than a much traveled sandwich. There are all sorts of good things that can be put in picnic jugs and served piping hot hours later – spaghetti with mushrooms and chicken livers, for instance, or baked beans or even thick fish chowder.

If you are going to a distant picnic ground, it is preferable to take food in vacuum jugs and bottles rather than to light a fire, unless specific campsite has been set up in safe places. Or, if there are really able woodsman in your party that can manage a campfire so it doesn’t smoke of the gas and ruined the food, be sure every spark is extinguished with water or loose dirt before you leave, and obliterate all signs of your presence, so others may enjoy the woods or beach as you have."

Compiled by contributor Demita Usher of Social Graces and Savoir Faire

 

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

BBQ Etiquette for Grillers and Guests

"The barbecue is not something new.  Since the time when men were hunters and gatherers, the meat of their hunt was cooked or roasted over an open fire for their families and other members of their tribes to enjoy.  The word "barbeque" is derived from the word "barbacoa," a word used by the Taino Indians in the Caribbean to describe an elevated wooden rack on which they slow-smoked fish, lizards, alligator, and other game." —Margaret Visser 

From colonial times up until today, while different countries around the world have their own version of barbecue, the United States has really taken it close to heart and made it a very "American" culinary expression.

Every region has their own "style" of barbecue; from Memphis to Mississippi to Texas to Louisiana, etc... regardless of the region, the passion of barbecue is so vast and diverse, it would be difficult to try to explain, much less understand it.  It goes from major competitions where men will have a special brand of hickory wood chips shipped in, so that the smokey flavor of their ribs will have their distinct signature, to men donned in aprons in their backyards, overseeing slabs of meat and hot dogs on a grill, while conversing with other men, while the women stand guard over the macaroni and potato salads.

Guest Etiquette for BBQ's:

Dress Code: If you are planning on being sociable and enjoying yourself, please don’t wear white.  Any other pale colors that won’t camouflage, or coordinate well with splotches of BBQ sauce, aren't a good idea either. You may have impeccable manners, but the casual environment of a BBQ simply invites stains to join you and whatever you're wearing for the ride home.

Stay in the "No Grill Zone": Unless invited in by the chef, please stay out. For some, that grill, and all that it entails, is "sacred ground." So hands off the grill and please offer no suggestions to the host about how to handle the grill.

Host or Hostess Gifts:  These are always appreciated, but keep the item in the range of a bottle of wine, serving plates or serving trays, or even something to be added to the dessert offerings.  A gourmet BBQ sauce or an expensive BBQ rub might can wrongly imply that you think you have better taste in BBQ offerings than what the host or hostess is serving.

Offer an Extra Hand: Enjoy yourself but make sure you are not adding to the stress of your host or hostess. If they need a hand, offer to assist if you are able (Bring out extra ice, help restock snacks, etc.)

Use Table Manners: You might be wondering, "How do I eat this without making a big mess?" You may not be able to do that. Accepting it early on, will give you the comfort that you'll need, in order to enjoy your meal. Use a lot of napkins, if they are provided.

Whether you eat with your hands or a fork depends on the cut of the meat. Food like sausage and brisket are fork dishes, while ribs are usually eaten "caveman-style." If your host has provided utensils and you feel you'd be more comfortable using them, even though everyone else is using their hands to eat, go ahead and use the utensils.  If, however, you host or hostess has not provided knives and forks, do not ask for them.

If you’re at a BBQ that is serving meats with a dry rub and you don’t see any sauce sitting around, don't ask for any sauce.

If you are vegan or vegetarian, keep your opinions regarding meat to yourself.  If you feel obligated to reform others, do your host and hostess a favor and do not attend a BBQ where meats are being served.

Drink Responsibly: When it’s hot, our thirst increases and before we know it, we have had 4 Margaritas in less than two hours, so watch your alcohol intake.

Show Gratitude: Be sure to thank your host and/or hostess for a great party as you leave. A handwritten, and mailed, note of thanks always shows your good manners.

The "McRib" Sandwich : The fast-food giant McDonald's started as a BBQ restaurant..."McDonald's Barbeque Restaurant" opened at 14th and E streets in San Bernardino, California in 1940. With a staff of 20 carhops, the McDonald brothers opened the joint as a conventional drive-in, serving ribs, beef and pork sandwiches. It soon became a teen hotspot, since E Street was the area's cruising capital at the time. The place was packed, but teens could be a pain. The restaurant had to contend with racing engines, peeling tires and cussing. By 1948, the McDonald brothers decided to revamp their BBQ eatery by adding speedy service to appeal more to the young family market. The "fast-food" business was born. In the 1950s, entrepreneur Ray Kroc convinced the brothers to let him franchise McDonald's, and he later bought the brothers out. The original restaurant was eventually demolished and today the site is home to the McDonald's museum. 

Some Tips If You are Hosting a BBQ:

• Theme BBQ Parties are a great way to make them memorable. Perhaps you can include games or contests to add to the fun.
• A filthy grill is a turn-off for guests. Make sure your grill is clean with fresh charcoal. Have a clean work space if you are having guests to dine. 
• Different tongs and spatulas for raw foods and cooked foods are a must, to keep your guests healthy and happy while they are there.
• Try to have appetizers ready for your guests when they arrive, especially if they have driven a long distance to get to you.
• Try to have all foods ready at about the same time. That way, things do not risk spoiling by being out for too long.
• If you possibly have vegetarians or vegans attending, offer some vegan choices like Boca-Burgers, and have lots of fruits and vegetables on hand.
• Provide lots of extra napkins and utensils.  Not everyone wants to eat their meat with their hands.  Wet wipes for your guests are a thoughtful touch, especially those with kids along!
• Provide designated drivers for those who've over imbibed.  They need to get home safely.
• One final note... Whatever you do, please don't serve BBQ at your next Afternoon Tea!

Reportedly, on Martha's Vineyard, Emily Post was accused of “losing it” when she served members of the Garden Club barbequed meats, rather than the anticipated tea sandwiches.  When town members gossiped about her social gaffe, she responded that grilled meats seemed more festive for the occasion than “old-fashioned ladies food.”

From Demita Usher of Social Graces and Savoir Faire

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Fashion Accessory Etiquette History

Under Louis the XIV, the custom of the walking stick was introduced to the French court.  It became fashionable for men and women alike to carry the long, slender sticks.  Louis was said to have never been seen publicly without a walking stick. 

Walking Sticks

The walking stick, or cane, has a history that reaches back to biblical times. The Hebrews carried long, crutched sticks like those of the shepherds who attended the flocks. The young Athenian dandies also carried walking sticks while Greece was still an infant civilization. Some were tall like those of the Hebrews; some were short like the modern riding-crop.

Some walking sticks were short, like the modern riding-crop

In Europe is the walking stick probably took the place of the sword when it began to disappear after the age of chivalry. Apparently, however, its use did not become general until the time of Queen Elizabeth, when everyone carried a cane or stick to be fashionable. The celebrated portrait of Charles I shows the king with his left arm akimbo, with his right hand resting on a long walking stick.

"I walk tall and carry a long stick!" Though also used ecclesiastically, etiquette for the use of walking sticks was actually defined at Versailles. No one was allowed to carry a walking stick or cane in the presence of the King. Louis XIV had restricted the use of a walking stick, or cane, to aristocracy alone, and forbade anyone of lower rank from carrying walking sticks in his presence.  He had one walking stick alone that was ornamented with 24 diamonds.

Under Louis the XIV, the custom of the walking stick was introduced to the French court.  It became fashionable for men and women alike to carry the long, slender sticks. The women's walking sticks were invariably decorated with love knots.

"A collector of walking sticks is termed a 'rabologist?!?' Are you certain about that?"

Gloves

Gloves are very old and were invented for the purposes of protection. We find them particularly prevalent among early peoples in cold regions.

  

During the 13th century women began to wear gloves for the purposes of ornament... and still do in the 21st century.  ~  
Glove Etiquette: Don’t eat, drink, or smoke with gloves on.  Don’t play cards with gloves on.  Don’t apply makeup with gloves on.  Don’t wear jewelry over gloves, with the exception of bracelets.  Don’t make a habit of carrying your gloves.  Source~ Maura Graber, The RSVP Institute

The ancient Persians and Romans wore gloves.  And Homer Laërtes  is described as wearing gloves while walking in his garden. Gloves of leather were worn at a very early period in war, and in the chase to protect the hands. In the 8th and 9th centuries the custom of wearing gloves was almost universal in Germany and in Scandinavian countries.

"The universality of human desire for symbolic signs of private emotions is ever standing. The emotion of grief at the loss of relatives and friends by death has found in dress fertile fields for expressing the desire. Black, death's particular emblem, has been used for this purpose certainly since the early part of the 14th century. Chaucer and Shakespeare give occasional allusions to it to use, particularly in the case of the widow. He tells us also of a curious custom of giving away black gloves to be worn "in memoriam. "In 1736 at the funeral of Gov. Belcher of Boston more than 1000 pairs of mouning gloves were distributed. At the funeral of Andrew Faneuil 3000 pairs were given away." From "The Customs of Mankind," Lillian Eichler

From the 10th to the 13th century gloves showed a remarkable development. Gauntlets of leather were worn by men; those in military costume wore gloves the backs of which were covered by overlapping plates. 

Andrew Faneuil... At his funeral, 3000 pairs of "mourning gloves" were given away.

During the 13th century women began to wear gloves for the purposes of ornament, most of them being made of linen and reaching to the elbow. In the 16th-century Queen Elizabeth set the fashion for wearing jeweled and embroidered gloves. In France, under Louis the XIV gloves made of kid made their appearance. The women wore gloves of knitted silk.

In France, the fan reached the height of its development under the reign of Louis the XIV

Fans

Fans have an interesting history.  The first fan was probably a palm leaf or some other natural device appropriated by man to keep away flies and mats, perhaps even to cool the fevered brow in tropical climates. We know that in Egypt, 2000 years ago, fashionable hosts had special servants to stand behind guests and fan them with huge papyrus bands.

Depiction of a Chinese woman holding a fan.

Both men and women carry fans in China.  Many carry with them also a pair of chopsticks talked into the girdle. In Japan the woman does not consider herself well-dressed unless her fan  harmonizes with the rest of her costume.

The Japanese woman does not consider herself well-dressed unless her fan  harmonizes with the rest of her costume.

In France the fan reached the height of its development under Louis the XIV. We read that "fans are invariable accompaniment of feminine costume, and they are of rare beauty, exquisitely painted and mounted on sticks of carved or painted wood, mother-of-pearl, carved ivory, or gold. There were over 500 makers of fans in Paris, and they enjoyed special privileges accorded by the king."

Ostrich fans, to match or harmonize with the costume, are fashionable to-day as they have been for a century.

The fan is still a popular accessory and we find it the "accomplishment of feminine costume" in the ballroom. Ostrich fans, to match or harmonize with the costume, are fashionable to-day as they have been for a century.

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Retro Etiquette for Annoying Habits

Airing your prejudices is an annoying personal habit!

Airing Your Prejudices

The person who knows everything, thinks she's right about everything, and is out convince everyone with whom she comes into contact, never will be liked in society. People have their own opinions, and the person who sails into a conversation with a remark about a "lousy president" or a "bunch of narrow minded religionists," is sure to be stepping on somebody's toes. The person who does such talking is considered ignorant by persons who have breadth of thought and tolerance.

Toothpicks

Never appear in public with a toothpick dangling in the corner of your mouth. Never pick teeth in the presence of another person. Use dental floss in privacy.

Criticizing Others

Never criticize the personal weaknesses of others verbally... (Unless your criticism is so witty, it is undoubtedly mistaken for a compliment.) 

Never criticize the personal weaknesses of others verbally. It is helpful to notice unpleasant things about other persons and to turn the findings into benefit by correcting your own practices. Study your practices! Make a list of the fault you discovered about yourself as well as your friends. Compare the list. No doubt you will find that the notations about yourself reveal many unpleasant habits that you will willingly correct immediately.

Being Personal

“How much did you pay for it?” “Do you like your husband’s mother?” Such personal questions are bad manners.  Never ask anyone a personal question – this applies to members of the family, too – unless you have sound justification. Personal remarks are as bad as personal questions.  Some persons seem to think it is their duty to tell you what they think of you, or your clothes; they do not seem to approve of anything about you.

“That's a new dress, is it Betty? It's in style, but I don't like pink so well as blue on you. That dress you wore so much last winter was beautiful.”

Such a remark is rude and inexcusable. If something altogether pleasant cannot be said in a personal remark, don't make it.

The Expectorator  

Expectorating off the Titanic ~ Rose- “Teach me to ride like a man.”  Jack- “And chew tobacco like a man.”  Rose- “And spit like a man!” Jack- “What, they didn't teach you that in finishing school?”

Never expectorate on the sidewalk, or from the window of a train or automobile, and never expectorate in the presence of anyone. If you have a cold, carry with you a supply of tissues. Use them and destroy them immediately.

The Belcher 

Belching  can usually be controlled. If there are occasions when you cannot control it, say, “I'm sorry.”  These words will not prevent your embarrassment, however. There is nothing you can do that will cover up the sound.

The Handkerchief  Waver

“No. I am so sorry. I didn't wave that hanky at you. This dim-witted younger sister of mine was the one waving it around.”

Keep your handkerchief out of sight as much as possible; use it only when necessary. The purpose of a handkerchief isn't anything pleasant, and it is revolting to others to see you shaking a handkerchief around if it isn't extremely fresh. Many a nervous habit starts with twisting and folding a handkerchief, so it is best to keep your handkerchief in a pocket, in your purse, or in the desk drawer at the office, unless it is actually needed. Retire from the sight and sounds of other persons when it is necessary to blow your nose violently. – “The Searchlight Homemaking Guide,” 1937

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Court of Henry VIII

Henry VIII acted like an animal at times, but not while dining. Yes, even many “etiquette experts” get it wrong. One was quoted as saying this, upon the release of his 2013 book of etiquette: “In Henry VIII's time it was good manners to chuck lamb bones over one's shoulder for the greyhounds to feed. That would cause raised eyebrows these days.” Au contraire, mon frère! When it comes to table manners, we have no grounds to feel superior to Henry VIII.

There are two ‘facts’ that everyone knows about Henry VIII, who was crowned 500 years ago. First that he had six wives. Second that he was a terrible glutton, gnawing on vast haunches of meat at a great table and tossing the bones greasily over his shoulder.

We need to modify this second ‘fact’. Tudor food was far more subtle and refined than the clichés allow. In Hilary Mantel’s magnificent new novel, Wolf Hall, set largely at Henry’s court, the food is so vivid it practically becomes an extra character. Courtiers spoon up junkets, and quinces stewed with honey. They eat syllabubs; poached chicken breast in a tarragon sauce; ‘fat brambles with yellow cream’; and roasted Warden pears. Mantel rightly depicts Tudor dining as a considered affair, where what is eaten reflects not just taste but rank. Mantel imagines Anne Boleyn when she is the king’s mistress, mischievously purloining a ‘fine aged cheese’ given as a gift by the Spanish ambassador to the Queen, Catherine of Aragon. First Anne steals the cheese; next the husband.

Let's get something straight... I may have had several wives, but that doesn't make me a terrible glutton, gnawing on vast haunches of meat and tossing bones greasily over my shoulder.

Both Anne and Henry were great lovers of fruit, particularly cherries and strawberries. Henry is known to have liked quince marmalade and orange pies. In 1534 his household bought an orange strainer, a sign of how often zingy citrus – then a luxury – made its way into his diet. Damsons and grapes were brought from the gardens at Richmond Palace to Hampton Court. It was Henry who introduced apricots to Britain, planting espaliered trees at the garden of Nonsuch in Surrey. He loved artichokes, too, and employed a Flemish gardener to grow salad vegetables for his table.

What of his paunch? There’s no getting away from the fact that vast quantities of meat were delivered to Henry’s kitchens. The annual provision of meat for the Tudor court included 8,200 sheep, 2,330 deer and 53 wild boar, not to mention countless little birds (teal, cygnet, gull and shoveler, as well as quail, pheasant and chicken). But this was not, needless to say, all for the king’s personal consumption. At Hampton Court 600 courtiers were entitled to eat twice daily in the Great Hall. As for the king, he dined in the relative quiet of the Privy Chamber, where – after the master cook had first checked them for poison – he enjoyed such dishes as baked lampreys or cream of almonds.

A Case History of Overeating
Early in his reign, Henry VIII was "an athletic king vigorous enough to tire out horses in the chase and opponents on the tennis court." He was a tireless dancer, and was able to drink his courtiers under the table. But his marvelous constitution could not stand up to the day-in, day-out feasting at court. Even ordinary meals were enormous; the menu for one particular day lists a first course of several salads plus cold dishes of "stewed sparrows, carp, capons in lemon, larded pheasants, duck, gulls, brews, forced rabbit, pasty of venison from fallow deer, and pear pasty." The second course of hot dishes included "stork, gannet, heron, pullets, quail, partridge, fresh sturgeon, pasty venison from red deer, chicken baked in caudle and fritters." This was followed by a lavish array of desserts, and a cordial of spiced wine. Injuries in athletic contests over the years limited the King's activities. Small wonder that he swelled to grotesque size. When he died, King Henry VIII had kidney disease, gout, circulatory disorders, and “tortuously painful” leg ulcer. Although famous for having problems with his wives (six in all, two beheaded) Henry's real trouble may have been with food. –
From "ABC's of the Human Body"

So, far from rudely gobbling haunches, the king observed complex etiquette. True, there was at least one occasion when Henry threw sugar-plums at his guests, and, given the gallons of sweetened wine consumed, meals must sometimes have got out of hand. Yet the general rules of table were politer than our own. If Henry overindulged (and surely he did, his waist thickening to 54in after a jousting accident in 1536), he did so with aplomb. Hands were washed before, during and after every meal.

He had a special fingerbowl – heated in a chafing dish – and a designated napkin to protect his fine ‘manchet’ bread roll. When he had eaten enough, he stood and washed his hands while an usher brushed crumbs from his royal person.

We could do with such a service in my house, where we often rise from dinner in a shockingly greasy and crumb-bespattered state. When it comes to table manners, we have no grounds to feel superior to Henry VIII.

Main article from “The Kitchen Thinker: Henry VIII

Henry VIII, a delicate eater?” 2009, Telegraph News

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Habits Which Annoy

Gum Chewing ~ Never leave gum where others can see it ...

How to Improve 

Unless you are constantly guarding against them, you are likely to develop personal habits that will be annoying to other persons. A little thought and conscientious effort concerning the things you do and say will improve your manners and add to your popularity.

Among the following suggestions you may discover habits of your own of which you previously have been unaware.

Gum Chewing 

Gum chewing should be done privately and quietly, and not in an office or in any public place. When you chew gum, never make a snapping, smacking sound with it, or pull it out of your mouth in long strings. When you are through with your gum, deposit it in a piece of paper and drop it into the waste basket. Never leave it where others can see it, or where it is likely to become fastened to shoes or clothing. This should be taught to children when they chew their first piece of gum.

Accepting Favors 

Some persons accept countless favors from their friends and return few of them. When refreshments or theater tickets are to be purchased, such persons appear so busily engaged in conversation that they are several yards from the cashier's desk or the ticket window when another member the party approaches it. These individuals offer effusive thanks after the other person has spent her money, and declare that "next time will be our turn" but it isn't. Don't be a sponge; if you can't pay your share of expenses, don't go.

Other favors of smaller proportion often are accepted without return – such things as invitations to a friends home, and countless accommodations with her automobile. Even though you cannot return favors extended to you in exactly the same way, you can do other things occasionally to show your appreciation.

Refreshing Makeup 

Combing hair, cleaning fingernails, applying cheek rouge, patting  powder on the face, smoothing eyebrows – never should be done in public.

If you wear lipstick, and your lips look pale after eating, apply a touch of lipstick before leaving a public dining table if there is no dressing room where you can stop for a minute. Of course, if you have been in a private home, you may excuse yourself and go to the mirror. Do not apply so much make up that you will be forced to remove part of it on a handkerchief or napkin. Don't twist your lips in grotesque shapes. These things call attention to what you are doing in the most unpleasant way. Combing hair, cleaning fingernails, applying cheek rouge, patting  powder on the face, smoothing eyebrows -- never should be done in public. Never give hair more than a pat in public; do not send dandruff, dust, and loose hair flying into people's faces and into food. Never clean fingernails in public. Use a fingernail brush when you wash your hands and your nails will be clean.

Body Odors 

Body odors are an unforgivable social offense. Deodorants are easy to apply, and immediately effective

The Toucher

Do you  have the habit of touching everything you see?

Do you  have the habit of touching everything you see? Do you walk into stores handling everything on the counter? If you're shown a lovely piece of glass or china in a friend's home, must you handle it until it is covered with finger marks? Never touch anything in the store unless you're considering buying it, in which case you will want to look at it carefully. Never touch anything in a home unless you're invited to do so by word or action.

The Sniffler

Scarlett sniffles..."Never, at any crisis of your life, have I known you to have a handkerchief."

The nervous habit of sniffling or coughing annoys everyone. If you have these habits, consult a doctor if you think you cannot overcome them.

The Picker

Almost all of us have known the "picker" - the person who scratched her scalp...

Almost all of us have known the picker -- the person who picked at her teeth and lips, who scratched her scalp, picked at blemishes, picked her cuticle, or nose. We want to put these people out of our minds as quickly as possible. Picking is a nervous habit practiced while waiting in the easy chair or engaging in conversation. It is a disgusting habit, and every person should make an effort to avoid it. – Source ~ “Searchlight Homemaking Guide,” 1937

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for a Graceful Walk

 Attendees in 1936, practicing a "charming" walk and posture, at a London finishing school.

I have a friend who was always identified as “an American woman” by the local men when she traveled abroad to Italy and France. Curious as to how the always knew she was American before she ever spoke to them, she asked them just how they knew. “American women walk like men, not women.” they replied. Wow! That's very telling. It got me to thinking: Is how we walk just as important as our focus on walking to get where we are going? I decided to dig through my old, bygone era, charm-school books and see what they had to say about a woman's walk. I wonder if we can still apply these techniques today, with, or without books on our heads?  

Corseted or not, we need to amend how we walk.

As pointed out by a friend, undergarments like corsets and girdles affected how women walked when this book was published, however, corseted or not, I strongly feel we need to amend how we walk today, because there is something to be said for a woman walking gracefully while getting to where she needs to go.

Charts For Correct Foot Positioning

One can use a piece of chalk or a strip of tape to create a straight line for practicing the correct walk. 

Top 10 Tips for a Graceful Walk

1.  The body must be correctly aligned, with the back as straight as possible. To start, the knee bone should be over the ankle bone, the hipbone over the knee bone, shoulder bone over the hipbone and the head over all. Maintain this torso alignment while the legs are in motion.

2.  The step should be no longer than your own foot so that the distance between the heel of the forward foot and the toe of the back foot this not exceed the length of the foot. Do not reach for your steps and do not mince along.

3.  The toes should point straight ahead or be turned slightly outward as models and dancers walk.

4.  There should be no perceptible change of weight from one foot to the other. This can be best achieved by keeping the weight on the balls of the feet and by "pushing off" with the ball of the back foot.

5.  The knees are kept flexed so that they may act as the "spring" for the body to give a smooth, glide appearance.

6.  One foot is placed directly in front of the other on one line. This method gives a feminine look, and when done with balance and grace, might be called "showgirls walk."

7.  The legs swing forward from the waistline so that the hips also move forward and forward. They do not move from side to side, nor do they undulate. This avoids hosiery rub. When the right leg comes forward, the right hip comes forward.

8.  The arms move in opposition to the feet for balance so that when the right foot is forward, the left arm swings forward and vice versa. The hand should swing forward to the toe and backward to the heel. The more vigorous the walk, the more vigorous the hand swing.

9.  The arms should swing relaxed from the shoulders with the elbows held fairly close to the body, but not tight. They should remain relaxed should not bend as the arm comes forward.

10.  Float from the waistline up. Walk from the waistline down. The head, shoulders and upper torso move forward smoothly as though disconnected from the rest of the body.  The control of the walk comes from the midriff, and the leg moves forward from the waistline.

"From here on out, your success will depend upon practicing the foregoing techniques until you have a 'naturally' beautiful walk.

Your walk tells a great deal about you. It reveals carelessness, timidity, shyness, aggressiveness; for it can bespeak the loveliness of you. It is worthwhile to learn "to walk in beauty.'"

From "University Beauty College Guide to Beauty Charm Poise," 1962

By Etiquipedia contributor Demita Usher of Social Graces and Savoir Faire