More Mid-19th C. Wine Etiquette

If either a lady or gentleman is invited to take wine at table, they must never refuse; if they do not drink, they need only touch the wine to their lips. Do not offer to help a lady to wine until you see she has finished her soup or fish.
– Photo source, Pinterest

It is not now the custom to ask a lady across the table to take wine with you. It is expected that every lady will be properly helped to wine by the gentleman who takes her to the table, or who sits next to her. But if you are in company where the old custom prevails, it would be better breeding to follow the custom of the place, rather than by an omission of what your entertainer considers civility, to prove him, in face of his guests, to be either ignorant or vulgar. If either a lady or gentleman is invited to take wine at table, they must never refuse; if they do not drink, they need only touch the wine to their lips. Do not offer to help a lady to wine until you see she has finished her soup or fish.

Always wipe your mouth before drinking, as nothing is more ill-bred than to grease your glass with your lips. Do not propose to take wine with your host; it is his privilege to invite you. It is considered well bred to take the same wine as that selected by the person with whom you drink. When, how ever, the wine chosen by him is unpalatable to you, it is al lowable to take that which you prefer, at the same time apologizingly saying, "Will you permit me to drink claret?" or whatever wine you have selected. – From Arthur Martine’s Handbook, 1866

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Mid-1800’s Wine Etiquette

An assortment of 19th century glassware – “Wine is considered an indispensable part of a good dinner, to which ladies and gentlemen have been formally invited. Even if you are a total-abstinence man yourself, you will not, if you are really a gentleman, attempt to compel all your guests to be so against their wish.”

– Image source, Corning Glass

ALMOST every gentleman has wine at his table whenever he has invited guests. Indeed, wine is considered an indispensable part of a good dinner, to which ladies and gentlemen have been formally invited. Even if you are a total-abstinence man yourself, you will not, if you are really a gentleman, attempt to compel all your guests to be so against their wish. If you are so fanatical that you have what is called “conscientious scruples” against furnishing wine, then you should invite none to dine who are not as fanatical and bigoted as yourself. 

You must consider that a gentleman may have “conscientious scruples” against dining with you on cold water, for there are even temperate and sober gentleman who would go without meat as soon as be deprived of their glass of wine at dinner. The vegetarian, who would force his guests to dine on cabbages and onions, is hardly guilty of a greater breach of etiquette than the total-abstinence fanatic who would compel his guests to go without wine. — From Arthur Martine’s Handbook, 1866

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia