Elizabethan Etiquette and Gallants

Clothing as Status Symbols – Clothing quality and decorations could easily show a man’s social class. Cloth made of certain colors, with gold or silver, made of satin, or including furs indicated a person could afford such apparel. The upper class was the only one with access to velvets, satin, furs, cottons, taffeta, lace, and other ‘rare’ fabrics. Rich and bright colors often cost a considerable amount for dyeing and importation. In 1574, Queen Elizabeth issued proclamations about clothing allowed according to social rank. The rules were comprehensive and very specific. Some examples of information released in the queen’s proclamations include: The eldest son of a knight was allowed to wear velvet doublets and hose, younger brothers could not. No one below the rank of knight could wear silk long stockings or velvet undergarments. Gold was only allowed to be worn by barons and others of higher ranking. Violation of these laws carried penalties like fines, loss of property, or even loss of title. – Source, LovetoKnow.com

An English Gallant...

He Was Very Gorgeous in the Elizabethan Days 

Glancing across the surface of everyday life in the Elizabethan days of robust manhood, it is interesting to notice the lively, childlike simplicity of manners, the love of showy, brilliant colors worn by both sexes, and to compare these charming characteristics with the sober habiliments and reserved manners of the present day, says the Nineteenth Century. Here is an example of the man of fashion, the beau-ideal of the metropolis, as he sallies forth into the city to parade himself in the favorite mart of fashionable loungers, St. Paul's churchyard. His beard, if he have one, is on the wane, but his mustaches are cultivated and curled at the points, and himself redolent with choicest perfumes. 

Costly jewels decorate his ears; a gold brooch of rarest workmanship fastens his bright scarlet cloak, which is thrown carelessly upon his left shoulder, for he is most anxious to exhibit to the utmost advantage, the rich hatchings of his silver-hilted rapier and dagger, the exquisite cut of his doublets (shorn of its skirts) and trunk hose. His hair, cropped close from the top of the head down the back, hangs in long love-looks on the sides. His hat, which was then really new in the country, having supplanted the woolen cap or hood is thrown jauntily on one side; it is high and tapering toward the crown and has a band around it, richly adorned with precious stones, or by goldsmith's work, and this gives support to one of the finest of plumes. – Los Angeles Herald, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Of French Manners and Customs

Professor Barrett Wendell‘s scholarship has been shown in his college lectures and in noteworthy books– “English Composition,” “Life of Cotton Mather” and “Shakespeare, a Study in Elizabethan Literature.” It may be added that Professor Wendell will deliver two courses of lectures at the University of California, one on Elizabethan literature and the other on English composition.

Society in France

Professor Barrett Wendell, who was the first American lecturer at the French Universities, will have in the April Scribner, a discussion of “The Structure of Society in France.” It gives an account of French manners and customs, and the reasons for them. Professor Wendell’s point of view is that of a sympathetic admirer of the French people. 

He says: “The more you see of the French, the more deeply you are impressed not only with the general regularity of their lives, but with the surprising fact that this general regularity seems to have a very strong hold on their affections.” – San Francisco Call, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

The Secret of Good Manners

“My girls will never get on without conventional manners. They shall be taught from babyhood, to emulate the speech and bearing of ladies. They shall be instructed in the proper behavior for every occasion. They shall walk and dance and write and speak with graceful perfection.”

Most mothers hold, consciously or unconsciously, one of two theories about children. One mother says: “Manners are only the outward sign of the inner nature. If my daughter has a kind heart and a well-trained mind she will behave in a gentle, charming fashion. I will teach her compassion, respect for age, unselfish zeal for helping with the world’s work. Her manners will take care of themselves.” Another mother says: “My girls will never get on without conventional manners. They shall be taught from babyhood, to emulate the speech and bearing of ladies. They shall be instructed in the proper behavior for every occasion. They shall walk and dance and write and speak with graceful perfection.” Neither method, says the Youth’s Companion, produces altogether satisfactory results. Unselfishness is truly the foundation of good manners, but not the superstructure. 

Many conventional restrictions have grown about social relations. Some can be explained by the demand of kindness and some can not. Could a child infer from his desire to help others, that he should not eat with his knife? Many offenses against good taste interfere in some way with the rights of others, but many others do not. Still, no set of rules to produce a polished lady, will achieve a result fit for the strain of life. The members of the French boarding school may adorn the ballroom, but are too likely to fail at the breakfast table or in the crowded car. The woman of perfect manners must re-enforce her unselfishness by social rules, and conventionality must be vitalized by the warm desire of others’ pleasure. The best of life never comes naturally, whether in manners or morals. The secret of charming manners is the desire for them. When the mother wishes them for her daughter as much is she wishes the other gods of the world, her daughter will have them. – San Pedro Daily News, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

White House Etiquette and Teas

Ida Saxton McKinley was the wife of the 25th U.S. President, William McKinley

White House etiquette permits that Mrs. McKinley hold informal receptions on Saturday afternoons. The President is not in evidence at the pleasant gatherings, nor do the cabinet ladies assist as at more stately functions. During her long residence in Washington as a congressman's wife, Mrs. McKinley made many friends outside the exclusive circle to which she is now largely confined. Many of these old acquaintances drink tea with the “first lady in the land” at the Saturday afternoon receptions. – Los Angeles Herald, 1899

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Gift Giving Etiquette

Silver novelty items, like glove menders, in Delineator Magazine – Possibly the newest and most flatteringly individual of tricks a belle can bestow, is the pocket or toilet table glove mender. It is a round heavy silver ring, two inches and a half in diameter, having the man's full name and the date of its presentation engraved on its polished surface. Two dozen or more strands of vari-colored sewing silks are then looped over the ring and plaited in a gay braid. Next, a pair of tiny scissors are dependent from the silver bar by lengths of narrow blue ribbon. A big bow of very much wider ribbon, of the same shade, has one loop cunningly fashioned into a miniature button bag, the other furnished with a pocket for the silver thimble, while both ends are utilized as needle cases.

For Your Bachelor Friends...

What Young Women May Give to Men for Christmas or Birthday Gifts

Girls who have been the recipients of numerous attentions from their men friends are no longer called upon to suffer the uncertainties that formerly beset them when the time comes to testify appreciation with small souvenirs, presented at Christmas or on birthdays. It used to be a serious matter to think up suitable gifts for a man. If one happened to achieve popularity with the fair sex, his ingenuity was severely taxed to know what exposition to make of the scores of shaving sets, slippers, mouchoir cases and pen wipers that threatened to deluge him. 

Some years ago, after the death of a famous physician, his wife, in looking over his effects, counted thirty odd embroidered smoking caps sent by his feminine admirers, together with unlimited useless needlework her husband had never even removed from their original wrappings. With much tact the lady gave the entire lot to a fancy charity bazar going on in the town at the time. But men have changed, and their necessities are tenfold more complex than of old. For instance, the bachelors, those who live in apartments, they are grateful for almost any little trifle that adds to the luxury of their menage. Nearly all of them do a bit of perfunctory housekeeping, and give afternoon teas in their chambers during the season. In the glass corner cupboards fitted into the wall, they are therefore happy to add dainty teacups and decorated plates to their carefully selected stock of china. 

Silk tea cosies, embroidered doylies, divan pillows and prettily outlined tray cloths are among the inexpensive presents a young woman may give with propriety. If the friendship is of long standing, or the obligations on her side are many and heavy, a piece of silver may be warranted. Then her selection of gifts is vastly extended. She may choose a fat repousse cream jug, a hammered silver sugar bowl, an engraved dish for bonbons or tea-leaves; or, again, from the miscellaneous counter where silver ink-stands, loving cups, picture frames and candlesticks are sold, a choice bit of Doulton, or a cut crystal flower bowl, is admissible under the circumstances named, but the lady should always make sure that her offering is suggestive of the daintiness of its feminine donor. Costliness is no longer prohibited in an exchange of gifts, but etiquette that dictates in such matters is quite as stringent as to the style of presents men and women give each other. It is not a bad idea for those women who have been entertained on yachts to bear in mind the keen appreciation with which the captain receives pretty trifles intended to add to the interior beauty of his boat. An embroidered deck cushion, a gay afghan, a silk and lace shade to temper the cabin lamps, are all useful and acceptable. 

But possibly the newest and most flatteringly individual of tricks a belle can bestow, is the pocket or toilet table glove mender. It is a round heavy silver ring, two inches and a half in diameter, having the man's full name and the date of its presentation engraved on its polished surface. Two dozen or more strands of vari-colored sewing silks are then looped over the ring and plaited in a gay braid. Next, a pair of tiny scissors are dependent from the silver bar by lengths of narrow blue ribbon. A big bow of very much wider ribbon, of the same shade, has one loop cunningly fashioned into a miniature button bag, the other furnished with a pocket for the silver thimble, while both ends are utilized as needle cases. Nothing could be more complete, and never will the bachelor bless his woman friend so fervently as when, in a tearing hurry, the little mender bobs up to supply his impatient needs.—New York Sun, 1890

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Concerning Flag Etiquette

At a recent patriotic rally, the flag was draped over a speaker’s table and used as a table-cloth, a pitcher of water being placed upon it. Certainly no one will say that any disrespect was intended but the veterans feel that nothing should be placed above the flag—excepting the Bible. When persons of known patriotism prove themselves amiss in the etiquette that is due the flag, there is, of course, no occasion for censure other than a mild remonstrance from the veterans to whom the flag has an especial significance because they have stood beside men who died for it. -Photo Pinterest

Letter Concerning  Flag Etiquette

July 17, 1918 

Editor, The Coronado Strand, Dear Sir: —Coronado’s camp of the United Spanish War veterans has noted from time to time certain minor infractions of flag etiquette, which it believes the public would be glad to know about. When persons of known patriotism prove themselves amiss in the etiquette that is due the flag, there is, of course, no occasion for censure other than a mild remonstrance from the veterans to whom the flag has an especial significance because they have stood beside men who died for it. 

At a recent patriotic rally here the flag was draped over a speaker’s table and used as a table-cloth, a pitcher of water being placed upon it. Certainly no one will say that any disrespect was intended but the veterans feel that nothing should be placed above the flag—excepting the Bible. The government has laws covering this point and we have found no specific ruling that permits of placing a bible above the flag, but the practice is general in lodges and seems to meet with no objection. The regulations for the holding of meetings by veterans require it. In the navy, the church flag, when used, goes above the ensign. 

More than a few good patriots hoist flags over their homes or places of business and then appear to consider that their duty is done. There are some flags that have never been hauled down and that look as though they meant nothing to the owners. Some are almost blown to pieces and one is so far gone there is nothing to prove that it ever was a flag, but the owner would fight like a wildcat if anyone called him a German. 

Uncle Sam says to burn up the old. One of the most patriotic and most respected citizens has a flag festooned over his front door. This is not a terrible offense but the government authorities are on record against the practice of sticking up the flag in fancy twists and bows. There are any number of good patriots who have little flags nailed to their front porches ever since last Fourth of July or the Fourth of July before that. Those flags look about the way the whole country would look if the Germans won out. 

Respectfully yours, 

Bertram Holmes, Patriotic Instructor and Past Commander, Coronado Camp, No. 59, Dept, of Cal., U.S.W.V. U. S. Fliers Guard, Paris. -Coronado Eagle and Journal, 1918 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Hiking and Trail Etiquette

Hiking on busy trails with other hikers: “It seems that many hikers—even experienced ones—may not know or always remember this, but hikers going uphill have the right of way. This is because in general hikers heading up an incline have a smaller field of vision and may also be in that ‘hiking rhythm’ zone and not in the mood to break their pace. Often an uphill hiker may let others come downhill while they take a breather, but remember that’s the uphill hiker’s call. If you’re about to pass another hiker from behind, a simple ‘hello’ is often the best way to announce your presence. Remember, many of us can zone out on those long, steep inclines! When passing, always stay on the trail to reduce erosion.” - REI.com

Family Hikes Are Fun Fitness

Walking, trailblazing, hiking, whatever you call it, it is communing with nature, and a sure-fire way for family-fun fitness. Put your best foot forward and take a walk on the wild side. Help your children discover a love and respect for the great outdoors. Get adventurous the healthy way.

Here are some tips to set off on the right foot: 

• Plan hikes together. Look through guidebooks and maps; planning adventures together gets everyone excited about the upcoming event. 
• Start with short hikes in familiar surroundings. Build up to more adventurous outings. 
• Make sure you child’s equipment fits properly, especially shoes. Check frequently for blisters. 
• Dress in layers. 
• Show photos of plants and animals children may see during their hike so they know what to watch for. 
• Teach trail etiquette before you go. 
• Aim for shorter drives and longer hikes. 
• Try to start early. Afternoon starts are harder on children. 
• Every hiker should carry a whistle around their neck (on a lanyard).
• Pack 1 & 1/2 times the amount of food you think you will need.
• Don’t litter trails with trash or uneaten food.
• Educate children about hiking hazards before hitting the trail. Make them aware of snakes, poison oak/ivy and the importance of hydration. 
• Plan for bathroom needs. Take soap, towel and toilet paper. 
• Don’t plan hikes around nap-time. 
• Don’t allow children to carry too much weight. 
• If children start to tire, play word games or sing funny songs. Distract them from the discomfort and play games to make it to the “next tree” (or another spotting). Set goals. “When we get to that next set of rocks, we’ll have some carrots.” 
• Drink lots of water, even if the weather is cold.
• Stay on marked trails. 
• Encourage children to watch for wildlife. Tell them that the quieter they are, the more likely they are to spot the animals. 
• Plan your hike around a spectacular ending (waterfall, picnic, etc.) What children generally enjoy: hikes around streams, ponds, waterfalls, “climbing things” and visible wildlife.
• Hikers vs. Bikers – Since mountain bikes are considered more maneuverable than hikers’ legs, bikers are generally expected to yield to hikers on the trail. However, because those mountain bikes are often moving considerably faster than said legs, it’s usually easier for hikers to yield the right of way—especially if a mountain biker is huffing and puffing up a tough incline.
• A biker should never expect a hiker to yield, though. Because mountain bikers move faster, hikers should also be aware of their surroundings on shared trails. Conscientious mountain bikers will call out as they come down steep slopes or blind switchbacks, and should also let you know if there are other bikers following them.
• Hikers vs. Horses – As the largest, slowest-to-maneuver and (usually) least-predictable creatures on the trail, horses get the right of way from both hikers and mountain bikers. If you’re sharing the trail with equestrians, give them as wide a berth as possible and make sure not to make abrupt movements as they pass and talk calmly when approaching to avoid startling the animal.
• If you’re on a narrow trail and horses (or mules) are passing, get off the trail on the downhill side as they trot by. Horses are more likely to run uphill than downhill when spooked, and you definitely don’t want to be in the path of a spooked horse.

Sources Coronado Eagle and Journal and REI.com

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Pet Etiquette, aka “Petiquette”

If you find your dog’s barking or your cat’s scratching objectionable, decide what you are going to do and do it every single time your pet misbehaves. If you are conscientious, your pet will be better behaved within about three weeks. If you waver, the process will take much longer.

Pet’s Bad Manners Are Owner’s Fault

The hustle and bustle of the holidays may bring out your cat’s or dog’s worst manners, but you can correct your pet’s etiquette. Your pet’s bad manners are partly your fault, according to an article in “Country Living,” because you didn’t nip bad behavior in the bud. Make a resolution to use behavior modification techniques to improve your pet’s manners. The key is consistency. If you find your dog’s barking or your cat’s scratching objectionable, decide what you are going to do and do it every single time your pet misbehaves. If you are conscientious, your pet will be better behaved within about three weeks. If you waver, the process will take much longer.

Here are some specific suggestions: 

• Barking – The best way to teach a dog to be quiet is to train him to bark on command. When he barks, use a command such as “Speak,” and praise him. Once he connects “Speak” with barking, introduce the command “Quiet.” If necessary, hold his muzzle shut the first few times you issue the command. Reward him for being quiet. Practice these commands at times when your pet wouldn’t ordinarily bark. Then start using them when someone is at the door. 
• Incessant Barking – When you are away, incessant barking is harder to control. A companion animal or leaving the radio on may help. If he starts barking soon after you leave, you can return and scold him or invest in a sound activated tape of a one-minute scolding whenever the dog starts to bark. 
• Jumping – If you don’t want your pet to jump on guests, you must teach him not to jump on anyone, including you, tell him “No” sharply, if he doesn’t respond, hold his front feet and bring your knee to his chest, forcefully but not brutally. An alternative is to teach him to “Sit” and “Stay” and use those commands when someone arrives at the door. 
• Cat Nipping and Scratching – If the cat attacks because it is afraid, physical discipline won't work. Instead, hold the cat while you greet strangers, have them approach it gently and tell them how it likes to be stroked. The alternative is to shut it in a room where it feels safe. If the cat attacks guests to defend its territory, the best response is a squirt of water from an atomizer. 
• Relentless Meowing – You may have inadvertently trained your cat by offering it food when it meows. To decondition it, set up a strict feeding schedule with no between meal snacks. If boredom is the cause, create a quick diversion by pulling out a Ping Pong ball, hanging a wad of crumpled tissue from a string, opening a closet or leaving an empty bag on the floor. – Associated Press, 1986

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia