Edwardian Criterion of Table Manners

Above, “knife swallowing” as a parlor trick– Of course, the person who “swallows” his knife may at once be set down as hopeless. But the common consent that condemns him to the outside of the pale, emphasizes the importance of table etiquette in its less essential details. It is about as bad to abuse the fork, as it is to eat with the knife. In fact, the fork seems to be the real problem in table manners. The number of wrong ways of holding it make one marvel that more people do not hold it right by accident or habit, especially as the right way is by all odds, the most convenient as well as the most graceful.

“I have learned that the best way to study people is to watch them eat,” said a New York woman last week after asking to be directed to a middle class Kansas City cafe. This woman is writing about the West, and her point of view is exceedingly well taken. There is no other single text of average culture and refinement, or the lack of these qualities, so safe as the manners. of men and women in popular price cafes or hotels. You can find execrable manners in the highest priced places and faultless manners in cheap restaurants, but the place to get a representative average is in the middle-class place, where many of all classes assemble. It is far better than a formal occasion, for it shows the natural, off-guard deportment of men and women.

Aside from matters of morality, about the most serious mistake that can be made by a person pretending or seeking to be somebody, is to assume that the rules of etiquette are affectations to be ignored. They are absolutely essential to the good opinion of those whose good opinion is most to be valued. And the most vulnerable point of all is table manners. It is so remarkable as to be almost inexplicable that many people who show reasonable consideration and good taste in dress, manifest proper regard for the ordinary promptings of courtesy in the common walks of life, and otherwise reveal an innate or acquired respect for right deportment, “fall down” when they get to the table.

Of course, the person who “swallows” his knife may at once be set down as hopeless. But the common consent that condemns him to the outside of the pale, emphasizes the importance of table etiquette in its less essential details. It is about as bad to abuse the fork, as it is to eat with the knife. In fact, the fork seems to be the real problem in table manners. The number of wrong ways of holding it make one marvel that more people do not hold it right by accident or habit, especially as the right way is by all odds, the most convenient as well as the most graceful.

Hasty eating, noisy eating, stuffing the mouth with large particles of food, vulgar zest in the handling or mastication of food, tucking the napkin under the collar, taking tea or coffee from the saucer, utter disregard for dietary proprieties, the use of toothpicks in the presence of others, “sucking” the teeth and other violations of the common decencies of the table, all reveal the poor, the person without culture, even if that person be fashionably dressed. Make no mistake about the importance of table manners. The judgment based on them is severe. If it is sometimes unjust, it is also inexorable. – The Chico Record, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

An Interview with Tatyana Gresserova

Unexpectedly, we had a tie for the Best in Show Winner for the Amateur Community in our 1st Annual Etiquipedia Place Setting Competition. Our first of the tie-winning tables is that of  Tatyana Gresserova of Russia. Tatyana is shown above with her historical themed, dinner place setting.

🍽 🍽 🍽 🍽 

Meet Tatyana Gresserova from Saint Petersburg, Russia. She is an English teacher at a school in Russia. She has long been interested in etiquette and manners, and reads books and blogs on etiquette and manners, both in Russian and in English. She’s been acquainted with the etiquipedia.blogspot.com for some time, “long before I followed it on Instagram.” Tatyana said, “I have a family: my husband (a restaurant manager in the past, so he also has a taste in fine table setting and great dinners) and two daughters. My parents live near and they are usual guests at our place, as well as our numerous friends. With COVID situation now our dinners became rare and are only for close ones. But it was in quarantine period when we all were at home that we made beautifully set meals our usual everyday practice! And I hope we’ll keep it for long!”

I was absolutely delighted from the start with Tatyana’s place setting entry. It had such a creative theme! As I had been waiting until all of the entries were in to start judging the settings, I didn’t learn of the theme until I actually started looking carefully each place setting and menu. 

The envisioned dinner, hosted by Ernest and Wallis Simpson, with HRH Prince Edward on the guest list, was inspired. I found the menu interesting, without being pretentious. I’m not certain I would choose these differing dishes to be served together at the same dinner, however, if I were to see them offered at a buffet, I’d probably sample more than a bit of each. They are all favorites of mine!

Elegant dinner with traditional American menu
Event: the Independence Day
Date: 4th of July, 1933
Place: London, the UK
Hosts: Ernest and Wallis Simpson
Guests: HRH Prince Edward, 7 more guests

Aperitif: 2 cocktails

Soup:
Black bean soup

Fish:
Grilled salmon
served with Chardonnay blanc

Entree:
Maryland fried chicken
served with champagne rose brut

Entremen:
Chilled raspberry soufflé
served with liqueur

“Wallis Simpson is a contradictory historical figure whose life story is still full of mysteries. Yet it is well known that she was an extraordinary hostess and her parties were of great success. As a hostess, she was highly attentive to the details. By the time she was giving this dinner at their flat she had already been aware of Prince’s tastes and food preferences. Thus she knew that he was fond of simple food of fish and meat. And she chose American cuisine due to the occasion and in honour of the country she was born.”

A few etiquette notes on Tatyana’s setting: 

The overall simplicity of the place setting was perfect for the time period. The U.S. was in the grip of The Great Depression, and simplicity had become expected. Prohibition was still enforced in the U.S. until December of 1933, but I imagine a hostess like Wallis Simpson would have creatively found her way around something so bothersome as the law, and served alcohol to her guests. Especially, with the Prince on the menu… excuse me… on the guest list!

Tatyana’s everyday flatware at home fits in perfectly as 1930’s era flatware designs. The flatware patterns, even in sterling silver from 1933, were remarkably plain. These below are all from 1933, and advertised on Replacements.com. Anything fancier, or more ornamental, would have been incorrect to achieve the streamlined look from that era. The size of the napkin appears a bit small for a formal dinner, however that could be an optical illusion. I cannot really tell, by the way it is folded.

“By the mid-1930s the elaborate patterns and ornament of Art Deco were out. Sleek lines and simple, rounded curves were in. In clothing, too, efficiency and simplicity were key words. Americans began to buy low-cost copies of French fashions, or they made their own. In the late 1930s, this simplicity would emerge as a distinctively American style.” – www.encyclopedia.com

The heavyweight, patterned tablecloth made a great background for the streamlined glass beverage ware and ceramic ware, as did the patterned glass under-plate for the soup bowl. Those elements, along with the patterned glass of the salt and peppers, added interest to the overall look. Without any actual vintage 1930’s elements, Tatyana managed to create an authentic 1930’s “look.” Brava!

Four questions for Tatyana–

1. Have you always enjoyed a properly set table? Or, if not, was table setting something you learned to enjoy through your social life and/or business, later on in life?

I think that my interest to beautifully set table is from my childhood. In my grandparents’ home there was a tradition to have dinner every weekend and all family, friends and colleagues were invited. The dining room was small but they usually had 15-20 people at the table. As a child I was in charge of setting the it. It was a hard task as there were no sets of 20 plates or cutlery, so I learnt to be creative! And it was my grandfather who spoke to me of the importance of etiquette rules, especially table manners. Now I understand that my grandparents were perfect hosts and that inspired me to finish a 4-months course at Austrian School of Etiquette in Saint Petersburg, Russia.

2. How did you choose the various elements you used in your setting and why?

I was very eager to take part in this competition as it combines everything I love: history, outstanding dinners, beautifully set table, strict etiquette rules! And the fact that I don’t have neither vintage dishes nor silver (as I live far from my hometown Omsk and have got only new things at home) didn’t stop me. So I had to use what I had at home. Now I can see the difference between those grand dinners of the beginning of 20th century and our “minimalistic” dinners. The things you see in my setting are the things we use for our everyday meals as well as for our dinners with family and friends.

3. If yours was a historical setting, why did you choose that particular period in time?

My choice of a historical event was not accidental. I have long heard of Wallis Simpson as the host of the most elegant dinner parties in London. To find the details of her famous dinners, I read Arina Polyakova's book “How to Steal the King? The Wallis Simpson Story ”and watched several films and documentaries about Wallis.

The idea of choosing an aristocratic American woman who is trying to enter high English society, learning new rules of etiquette and retaining her identity, seemed very close to me. Probably, this is how I feel myself, studying the rules of etiquette and balancing between Russian and English cultures.

In preparation for the competition, I studied in detail the American and British dinners of the first half of the 20th century (by the way, I took a lot of information on etiquipedia.blogspot.com), learned the traditional recipes of that time, as well as the secrets of a successful dinner from Wallis Simpson.

The problem arose when I tried to invent the appropriate menu for the event. The flight of my imagination was prevented by the lack of the necessary cutlery: spoons for oysters, forks for lobsters. (The price of oysters, lobsters and crabs is so high that I hardly will use these devices in the near future, and I did not want to buy it just for a photo.)

6. Do you plan on entering again next year?

I am sure to enter the competition again next year! It was such a great experience and I can’t stop reading of historical dinners and looking for real menus and forgotten recipes of the past! I’m so grateful to the organisers for bringing such a pleasure and inspiration into my life!

Elizabeth Soos and I are equally grateful for your enthusiasm, Tatyana. We are thankful to you, and all of our entrants, for your participation and congratulate you on your award winning design! 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Meeting and Seating Royals

Original seating chart for the State Dinner held on November 23, 1934 in honor of a royal visit by Prince Henry, The Duke of Gloucester

This is a fun and wonderful piece of history that I found on Ebay several years ago. It had evidently been folded up and stuck in an Australian drawer for over 60 years. I was actually looking for vintage Australian etiquette books on Ebay Australia when I stumbled upon the listing.

It is the original seating chart for the State Dinner held on November 23, 1934 in honour of a royal visit by Prince Henry, The Duke of Gloucester. He was in Australia from October 4th until December 11th of that year, and when I researched it later, I found it had been an important state visit by the Duke at the time. I was the only bidder on the item and won it for about $4.50 total. I had it framed and it hangs in my dining room.

Prince Henry, the Duke of Gloucester ~ “Generally, the people found him, as they found his brother the Duke of York, a little shy and somewhat embarrassed at the overwhelming nature of his reception.”

You may be wondering, "Who is Prince Henry?" or, "Huh?" if you are here with me in the United States. He was the Queen’s uncle, and his son, the late Prince William of Gloucester, who died young in 1972, is who the Duke of Cambridge (aka the current Prince William) was named.

The Aussies know very well who he is however, so over the years I have been tempted to send this interesting historic document back to them. It should possibly be in a museum or with a historical group in Australia. Or, maybe mine is one of several copies they made for the 1934 event. Either way, I enjoy it and find it fascinating. Like I wrote in my book on mango forks, the Australians are the nicest people to do business with on Ebay, so I keep thinking I may just pop on over to visit there myself some day.

Note the "Capt. S.S. Bonham Carter" at Seat 2, a distant relative of actress Helena Bonham Carter. He was later "Admiral Sir Stuart Bonham Carter", and had served in the Royal Navy in both World Wars and rose to the rank of Vice Admiral. 

I find it interesting who sat where at this dinner. Of course the Duke was seated in the center at the head table, labeled "A", along with local Australian dignitaries flanking him on either side. The Consul-General from Germany was at Seat 8 at Table B, and fairly far from the center of Table A, where the Duke sat. But he was 4 seats away to his left from the Consul from Poland and 4 seats away to his right from Captain S.S. Bonham Carter. Behind him, to his left just 2 seats away, seated at Table C was the Consul-General to France. In just 5 years time, Great Britain and France would be declaring war on Germany, due to its invasion of Poland.

Seated at tables C, D, E, F & G, were Consul-Generals from China, Spain, Norway, The Netherlands, Finland, Brazil, Paraguay, Czecho-Slovakia, Italy and Denmark, along with the U.S. and other assorted countries. Representatives from the church, Reuters, The Telegraph, The Sun, Labor Daily, and others were also seated throughout the mix. Some printed names had been crossed out, with new names written in by hand. Others were just listed as "Official." Notably absent? Women!

I love this photo of a young Prince Henry at Eton. What a charming looking young chap!

Now back to the Duke... In 1934, the Duke of Gloucester was Prince Henry. Born on March 31, 1900, he was "Henry William Frederick Albert". He was the third son of George V and Queen Mary, thus he was the uncle of Queen Elizabeth II.

The Australian National Archives has a wonderful page devoted to him and his 1934 visit. The following are a few passages I found interesting...

Prime Minister Lyons first announced news of the tour in Parliament:

“I have great pleasure in intimating that since the last meeting of this Parliament His Majesty the King has graciously given his consent to the visit to Australia of a member of the royal family on the occasion of the centenary of the state of Victoria. As honourable members are probably aware, His Majesty in the first instance approved of his son, Prince George [the Duke of Kent], visiting Australia. Later however, advice was received to the effect that His Majesty felt that Prince George, after a strenuous tour of South Africa, should not, in the same year, undertake another tour. Consequently, His Majesty approved of the substitution of His Royal Highness the Duke of Gloucester.”

From the Courier-Mail’s reporting of the event, it would appear that the Duke’s visit to Queensland at least was a wild success:

“A dignified figure in a cavalcade of pomp and pageantry that struck an Imperial note, the Duke, his face browned with Queensland’s sunshine, made a truly Royal progress through bannered streets that echoed with the crash of band music and the skirl of bagpipes, and in which cheering thousands formed living colonnades, so densely packed that they seemed a solidified mass, vital and vivid with its pulsating loyalty, pouring forth with mighty voice its affection for the King’s son.”

I was especially amused by this passage:

It would seem that the only negative incident of the Duke’s tour took place during his visit to Toowoomba:

A remarkable incident was associated with the Duke of Gloucester’s final hour in Toowoomba, when, at supper at the Citizen’s Ball, he was requested by a fireman to cease smoking a cigarette! The Duke was momentarily dismayed by the unusual nature of the request…The incident, which was witnessed by a number of people near the principal table, was exceedingly regretted, as it was the only unfortunate happening in what was regarded as the most brilliant social gathering ever held in Toowoomba...When seen later, the Mayor said it was the most monstrous incident of which he had ever heard.

Under the heading of "General Correspondence relating to the Royal Visit, Canberra 1934-1935" you will find this recollection: 

"In Queensland, the Courier Mail compiled a list of hints for citizens planning to celebrate the Duke’s arrival in the city. The newspaper stated, ‘Police and ambulance officers, remembering incidents of other royal visits and experiences in southern capitals, have issued these “Don’ts” to Brisbane citizens who will be in the city to welcome the Duke today.’

The list of ‘Don’ts’ include the following suggestions:

• Don’t let your pet dog follow you to town where he may be hurt or lost in the crowd
• Don’t let your youngsters wander away from you – if you can help it
• Don’t go out without your hat
• Don’t expect the conductors to change a pound note.


When Prince Henry's brother, George VI, came to the throne in 1936, Henry was required to stay in the United Kingdom. He had been appointed a potential regent for his niece, so until she came of age, in case her father died, Henry was needed there if she ascended the throne as a minor.

He was also the 11th Governor-General of Australia, from 1945 to 1947 and when he died in 1974, he was the last surviving Knight of the “Order of St. Patrick” and the longest surviving child of George V and Mary of Teck.

In 1934, the Duke and Australian Prime Minister Lyons, and Mrs. Lyons

The Current Duke of Gloucester is a grandson of George V and a first cousin to The Queen. He became heir to his father's titles following the death of his elder brother, Prince William of Gloucester, in a flying accident on 28 August 1972. He succeeded his father in June 1974.

Born Prince Richard of Gloucester on 26 August 1944 at Northampton, he was christened Richard Alexander Walter George. When he was four months old he was taken by his parents to Australia, where for two years (1945-47) his father was Governor-General.

The current Duke – HRH Prince Richard, Duke of Gloucester

Modern Etiquette for Meeting Royalty-

• There are no obligatory codes of behaviour when meeting The Queen or a member of the Royal Family, but many people wish to observe the traditional forms.

• For men this is a neck bow (from the head only) whilst women do a small curtsy. Other people prefer simply to shake hands in the usual way.

• On presentation to The Queen, the correct formal address is 'Your Majesty' and subsequently 'Ma'am'.

• For male members of the Royal Family the same rules apply, with the title used in the first instance being 'Your Royal Highness' and subsequently 'Sir'.

• For other female members of the Royal Family the first address is conventionally 'Your Royal Highness' followed by 'Ma'am' in later conversation.

Portions of this post were first published in 2012 by Site Editor, Maura J. Graber, on her personal blog site, https://theetiquettesleuth.blogspot.com/

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Proper Oyster Fork Placement

 … or Cocktail Fork Placement 

A Gilded Age, 6 course, formal place setting, set for oysters as the first course.

As “What Have We Here?” at 162 pages, is 4 times longer than “Reaching for the Right Fork,” I could not use every photograph I took for the book. It would be too long. I will therefore be occasionally adding some of the photos which were ultimately unused to my blog posts. 

Here is one photo above, showing a Gilded Age formal place setting, set for a first course of oysters. Oyster forks, or any cocktail forks, can be properly placed in 3 different ways:

1. As the first of 3 forks to the left of a setting.
2. At the far right of a place setting, laying flat on the table next to the soup spoon or first knife, whichever utensil to be used afterward.
3. Or resting at an angle, with the small tines resting in the bowl of the soup spoon. 

In the setting above, the oyster fork rests at an angle in the soup spoon, or the 3rd option. This positioning was to help those dining at crowded Gilded Age tables deal with an ever-growing list of specialty utensils at each place setting. The fork on the far left of one setting could be mistaken for the first fork expected for many foods for the diner on the right. 

At the same time, the decision had just recently been made by the arbiters of good taste during that time period in the U.S., to no longer allow four forks on the left, but to limit them to three. Those not up to snuff on the most recent etiquette rules, whether hosting a dinner or as a guest at one, could be confused. Laying it at an angle with the tines resting in one’s soup spoon bowl, alerted that guest that the fork belonged to him or her and not the place setting to the right.

This below is a page from the book, “What Have We Here?”: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond...

Contributor Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for over 30 years now, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years. Her books, “Reaching for the Right Fork” and “What Have We Here?” are both available on Amazon

 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Dinner Seating Etiquette History

 The practice of alternating men and women at the dinner table, arrived in England from Holland in the 1600s and was known as the “Dutch” style of seating. – 17th century Dutch, steel-bladed knife and steel-tined fork, with carved ivory handles.

Up until the 19th century, the cooking area was always set well away from the main part of the house lest a cooking fire get out of control and burn everything down. Thus the food lost a good bit of heat while being carried to the dining room. Over time, what it started out as small private meals, grew into pageants in their own right. This came about in the 17th century, when absolute monarchs ruled most of Europe.

In keeping with the ethos of the era, every aspect of the King's life was made a display. Vast an elaborate meals were one way to assert power, wealth, and status, and they once again moved back into public view. But, this time, women fully participated as the bold innovation of alternating men and women at the dinner table took hold. This practice arrived in England from Holland in the 1600s and was known as the “Dutch style” of seating.

The last ingredient in the evolution of formal Victorian dining came about the early 1800's, as the combined weight of England and Russia was defeating the military genius of Napoleon. Ironically, even as the French were losing on the battlefield, they were about to emerge victorious on the culinary front. They developed a highly sophisticated culinary style, drawing in large part upon what they learned from the Italians. – From Forgotten Elegance, 2001

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Invitations to Entertain

Do not sing songs descriptive of masculine passion or sentiment; there is an abundance of superior songs for both sexes.
– Image from Czerny’s Letters to Young Ladies on Playing the Pianoforte

The Lady at the Piano Forte 

Invitations to sing or play–

Never exhibit any anxiety to sing or to play. You may have a fine voice, have a brilliant instrumental execution, but your friends may by possibility neither admire nor appreciate either.


If you intend to sing, do not affect to refuse when asked, but at once accede. If you are a good singer, your prompt compliance will add to the pleasure of your friends, and to their regard; if you are not, the desire to amuse will have been evinced, and will be appreciated.


Kind of songs and style of singing –

Do not sing songs descriptive of masculine passion or sentiment; there is an abundance of superior songs for both sexes.

If you are singing second, do not drag on, nor, as it were, tread upon the heels of your prima; if you do not regard your friend's feelings, have mercy on your own reputation, for nine or ten in every party will think you in the wrong, and those who know you are singing in correct time will believe you ill-natured, or not sufficiently mistress of the song to wait upon your friend.

If playing an accompaniment to a singer, do not forget that your instrument is intended to aid, not to interrupt; that is, to be subordinate to the song.

If nature has not given you a voice, do not attempt to sing, unless you have sufficient taste, knowledge, and judgment, to cover its defects by an accompaniment.

When at concerts, or private parties where music is being performed, never converse, no matter how anxious you may be to do so, or how many persons you may see doing so; and refrain from beating time, humming the airs, applauding, or making ridiculous gestures of admiration. – The Lady's Guide to Perfect Gentility, 1856

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Entertaining Visitors

Whether the party is formal or informal depends entirely upon circumstances and requirements, as well as the personal taste of the hostess, when her out-of town visitor is to meet her friends. Well she knows the heart-warming influence of a cup of tea and the friendliness of a fat tea-urn!

Wise in the ways of entertaining, the clever hostess gives an afternoon tea on the day that her out-of town visitor is to meet her friends. Well she knows the heart-warming influence of a cup of tea and the friendliness of a fat tea-urn! The illustration opposite aptly portrays the jolly, informal type of tea party at which out-of-town guests are entertained. Of course, whether the party is formal or informal depends entirely upon circumstances and requirements, as well as the personal taste of the hostess.

The hostess who is entertaining a visitor from another town, and who desires to make her stay as pleasant and agreeable as possible, may give a theatre party to which a group of interesting men and women are invited. The theatre party may be followed by a dinner at her home or at a hotel.

It is not good form to make a round of calls on one's friends and acquaintances with the sole purpose of presenting the out-of-town visitor. In fact, the hostess may not attend any social function with her visiting guest unless an invitation is included for this guest also. However, she may, if she wishes, advise the friend from whom she has received an invitation that an out-of-town guest is with her and request that she, too, be invited. – From Lillian Eichler’s “Etiquette Problems in Pictures,” 1922

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Antebellum Etiquette from 1856

Raising one’s dress… “When tripping over the pavement, a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle. With the right hand, she should hold together the folds of her gown, and draw them towards the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can only be tolerated for a moment, when the mud is very deep.”

The Lady Abroad

If, while walking up and down a public promenade, you should meet friends or acquaintances whom you do not intend to join, it is only necessary to salute them the first time of passing; to bow, or to nod to them every round would be tiresome, and, therefore, improper; do not think they will consider you odd or unfriendly, as, if they have any sense at all, they will appreciate your reasons. If you have anything to say to them, join them at once.


Raising the Dress –

When tripping over the pavement, a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle. With the right hand, she should hold together the folds of her gown, and draw them towards the right side. To raise the dress on both sides, and with both hands, is vulgar. This ungraceful practice can only be tolerated for a moment, when the mud is very deep.

Taking Leave –

When walking together, it is proper that the more elderly or more important of the two, should take leave first. A gentleman should never leave a lady till she first takes leave of him. If a gentleman offers to escort you home, you should first say that you wish not to have him go to any trouble, but finish, however, by accepting. 

On arriving at your house, you should offer him your thanks. In order to avoid these two inconveniences, it will be well to request your husband, or some one of your relatives, to come and wait upon you; you will, in this way, avoid all inconveniences, and be entirely free from that harsh criticism which is some times indulged in, especially in small towns, concerning even the most innocent acts.

Attentions to Others –

When you are passing in the street, and see coming towards you a person of your acquaintance, whether a lady or an elderly person, you should offer them the wall, that is to say, the side next the houses. If a carriage should happen to stop, in such a manner as to leave only a narrow passage between it and the houses, beware of elbowing and rudely crowding the passengers, with a view to get by more expeditiously; wait your turn, and if any one of the persons before mentioned comes up, you should edge up to the wall, in order to give them the place. They also, as they pass, should bow politely to you.

If stormy weather has made it necessary to lay a plank across the gutters, which have become suddenly filled with water, it is not proper to crowd before another, in order to pass over the frail bridge.

Gait and Carriage –

A lady ought to adopt a modest and measured gait; too great hurry injures the grace which ought to characterize her. She should not turn her head on one side and on the other, especially in large towns or cities, where this bad habit seems to be an invitation to the impertinent. A lady should not present herself alone in a library, or a museum, unless she goes there to study, or work as an artist.

Gentlemen’s Attendance –

After twilight, a young lady would not be conducting herself in a becoming manner, by walking alone; and if she passes the evening with anyone, she ought, beforehand, to provide some one to come for her at a stated hour; but if this is not practicable, she should politely ask of the person whom she is visiting, to permit a servant to accompany her. But, however much this may be considered proper, and consequently an obligation, a married lady, well educated, will disregard it if circumstances prevent her being able, without trouble, to find a conductor. – The Lady's Guide to Perfect Gentility, 1856

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia