Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Etiquette Tips From 1891

Copperplate and calling cards from the late 19th century ~"When calling, etiquette requires that a card be sent up. It will show that you have called, and if friends are at home, will prevent any confusion from mispronunciation of your name by the servant.  When the lady of the house is not at home, a card must be left, and if there are two or more ladies, the turning down of one corner of the card signifies that the call was intended for all the family, If cards to be left preparatory to leaving town, the initials p. p. c. ("pour prendre conge" or "presents parting compliments"), must be written in the left hand corner. If the departure is a hurried one, the card may be sent by a servant, but it is in better taste to leave it in person."
From Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society

The Number of Cards to Leave:

An authority on manners and social customs thus solves the sometimes perplexing question of how many cards to leave: "Upon a married lady whose husband is living, by a married lady whose husband is living, one of the lady's cards and two of her husband's. "Upon a married lady with a daughter in society, two of the lady's and three of the husband's." A gentleman in making a call, sends in, or leaves a card for each of the ladies of the family. If he is calling upon a young lady who is a guest in a household to which he is a stranger, he must ask to see her hostess at the same time and also send her his card.
A silver calling card tray made a wonderful silver anniversary gift in the late 1800s.

Wedding Anniversaries:

Following is one way in which the list of wedding anniversaries is enumerated: The wooden wedding is celebrated on the fifth anniversary of the marriage, the tin wedding on the tenth, the crystal wedding on the fifteenth, the linen wedding on the twentieth, and the silver wedding on the twenty-fifth. The next is the golden wedding on the fiftieth anniversary; the diamond wedding is on the sixtieth.

"Every one respects a woman who can smilingly keep her temper." Better yet, Etiquipedia feels that a good sense of humor can't hurt! 
Useful Hints:

A letter sent by one friend or acquaintance to another, through the hands of a friend or acquaintance of either or both, should always be unsealed.

Silver or linen given to a bride is marked with the initials of her maiden name.

Temper has been called the "climate of the mind," but people who keep others waiting are the promoters of a blizzard. Morally speaking, women should not quarrel with each other anywhere, but especially not in crowds, every one respects a woman who can smilingly keep her temper.

Olives should be taken from the dish with a spoon or olive fork and not with the fingers, though they are afterward eaten by aid of the digits. 

Good table manners are founded on habits of punctuality, neatness and order. -San Francisco, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Moderator for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia