French Floral Etiquette for Fiancés

In France, the lover as a rule endeavors to send his fiancée each day a basket or bouquet of white flowers– In the mid-1800’s, Americans adopted the French terms for those engaged to be married; A fiancé is a man engaged to be married and a fiancée is a woman engaged to be married. These two terms soon became part of American culture. 

Flowers From a Fiancé

Here is a custom of France which it would be well for our American young girls to reflect upon— and to encourage. It is to receive presents of flowers only, even from a fiancé. If the engagement should be broken — as engagements sometimes are, you know there can be no horrible entanglement about the return of gifts. Flowers are perishable. They die with the day, but while they last they are capable of affording exquisite pleasure and gratification. 

In France, the lover as a rule endeavors to send to his fiancée each day a basket or bouquet of white flowers. And as the supply is bound to meet the demand, there are florists who make a business of engagement flowers. There one discovers, a special etiquette about the way in which, the white satin ribbon is tied on to them— a true lover’s knot, of course — and we learn that the present prevailing mode is a basket of white flowers tied with white ribbon and veiled in white tulle. Very sweet and pretty and dainty, no doubt, but to us Americans rather suggestive of a baby’s funeral. We will take our flowers colored, if you please— and never mind the ribbons or the tulle. – San Francisco Call, 1894

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Bridal Shower and Gift Etiquette

It is said that “showering” a young bride with gifts originated in Holland, but since the late 1800’s, it has become a rite of passage and time honored tradition in the United States. With the growth of the internet, the popularity of bridal showers has grown throughout the world, especially over the last 15 years.

The Who, What, Where and When– Traditionally, the Maid of Honor would be the one to host a bridal shower, usually 2 to 3 weeks prior to the big day. She could count on the fellow bridesmaids for help with planning and sending out invitations to the bride-to-be’s closest friends. As it has always been considered unseemly for family members of the bride to ask for gifts (monetary or not – dowries went out of fashion long ago), it was considered poor etiquette, not to mention tacky, for members of the family to host the bridal showers. 

Nowadays, it is perfectly acceptable for family members to host showers and parties of all kinds, as these parties can be expensive and attended by many more than simply one’s closest friends or co-workers. It is not uncommon for a Maid of Honor to send out the invitations for showers to be held in a restaurant, tea room or the home of the mother-in-law-to-be or grandmother in-law-to-be. Showers are best held 4 to 6 weeks prior to the wedding now. 

Themes and Games– Though bridal shower themes and games are not necessary, they make a bridal shower more fun. Unless the shower is a surprise, get the bride’s input on games and a theme for the soirée. There are numerous sites like Pinterest or Instagram which hold inspiration aplenty when it comes to creativity and party planning.

The Divorced or Widowed Bride– The old etiquette was that bridal showers are not to be held for 2nd time brides, or even 3rd time brides. But etiquette changes with time and “serial-marriages” are probably with us to stay. Regardless of what celebrities are seen doing in reality shows and in the tabloid press, unless one is a widow, it is wise for the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time bride-to-be to make sure anyone throwing a shower for her keeps it tastefully small and with just intimate family and friends invited. Anything over-the-top appears tacky. Widowhood allows for a more festive shower, however, as widowhood is not the same choice that is divorce.  

The Couple– The old etiquette was that the shower was held only for the bride, her family and friends. Today, more participation of men has given rise to “couple showers” that honor both the bride-to-be and groom-to-be. Men enjoy being feted, just as much as the ladies do. Keep in mind that when hosting a shower for a couple, the shower’s costs will be doubled, as you will be hosting both the male and female friends of the couple. Make certain you have a large budget and/or help with your hosting duties, along with ample room for the added guests.

The Already Married Bride– What about the “Already Married Bride?” Several couples who, due to a move or military service, etc... have hurriedly tied the knot via a civil ceremony, when family could not attend, choose to repeat their vows a second time so that family and friends can share in their joy. Bridal showers are still proper for the brides or couples who have already set up their households together. Planners and guests can skip the “trousseau” or lingerie themed showers, and stick to household gifts or gifts of “necessities” – which brings us to...

The Pregnant Bride – The pregnant bride is not an uncommon sight nowadays. Hosting a bridal shower for a pregnant bride is perfectly correct and is indeed a kindness, especially if the bridal shower stays related to the wedding only and basic etiquette rules for bridal showers are followed. Make certain your invitations reflect that the shower is a “Bridal Shower” and keep with that theme. A separate baby shower can, and should, be thrown at a later date.

Bridal Shower Gift Registries– Registering for gifts has become a rite of passage for both brides and couples alike. Etiquette allows for registries, but brides should keep in mind that a variety of objects in a wide variety of price is most polite. Guests invited to a wedding have up to a year in which to send a gift, though it is thoughtful to send one writhing 6 weeks of the wedding. Brides have six weeks in which to send notes of thanks, after receiving a bridal shower gift. Please don’t confuse the two.  

Wedding Gifts– If you are a bride who’s under the impression that what price you or your parents are paying per plate for the reception, is what your guests should be paying for your gifts, sadly you are incorrect. Etiquipedia suggests that a bride requesting the presents of someone at her wedding, instead of the presence of someone at her wedding, has her priorities out of whack. 

Notes of Thanks– The old etiquette of handwritten thank you notes for the shower gifts, being sent out prior to the wedding, is still the correct etiquette now. If the bride and groom do not get notes of thanks sent out quickly, they will find the task much more difficult as the wedding nears. A thoughtful shower gift is monogrammed stationary for the bride to be or couple, along with postage stamps, to assist them with getting notes of thanks sent out quickly. And as it is poor manners to email a note of thanks to someone who took the time to bring a gift, a guest book in which the shower guests can write their names and addresses is a nice touch.

One Last Point for Brides to Be–Unless a shower gift was emailed, an emailed “note of thanks” is rude. An emailed, or even texted “gift card” is still worthy of a handwritten and mailed note of thanks.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Manners Influence Success

One’s EQ, (“Etiquette Quotient” or “Emotional Quotient”) has a tremendous influence on one’s success. Manners and disposition, including courtesy toward others, tact, self control, consistent temperament and adherence to customs, were also cited as factors that influenced success.    

Speaker Discussed the Importance of Personality and Soft Skills Needed for Employment and Advancement, in 1956

F. N. Laird, a specialist in human relations, talked before high school students in Orange County yesterday. Laird emphasized that good personal qualities are of utmost importance to employers. Of some 5000 who had recently lost job opportunities, he said, a large percentage failed because of “good personal qualities” such as dependability, cooperativeness, friendliness. 

At Yale University, a group of engineers indicated that salary was definitely affected by personal qualities, as well IQ and training. In fact, the percentage with the best personal qualities made an average of *$2,200.00 more annually than the percentage with poor personal qualities, although both groups had equal training, Laird said. 

Among the qualities that the average person is judged on, some are physical and others of a “spiritual” nature, he stated. Physical qualities include health, neatness, poise, carriage, and dress; dual qualities include such character traits as dependability, sincerity, courage, consideration, mutuality. 

Other spiritual traits he named as those influencing others, were “dynamic force,” magnetism, enthusiasm, power of expression, animation and social grace. Manners and disposition, including courtesy toward others, tact, self-control, consistent tempermenent and adherance to customs, were also cited as factors influencing success. – April, 1956

*The average salary in the U.S. in 1957 was only $3,700.00 per year.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Seating Arrangement Etiquette

Separate husbands and wives. They should never be seated side by side at a dinner or luncheon table. 

“Ring Around a Rosy” ...  and they all had a seat!

 Have hostess and host at foot and head of table respectively. Alternate men and women about the table.

Nancy and Lois were eating in a down town tea room and began to comment on the way in which people grouped themselves at the tables. They finally drew diagrams of the way folks should seat themselves. They saw two gentlemen come in with two ladles. The waitress showed them to a round table. The two men sat side by side and the two women side by side. True, this gave each lady a gentleman on one side of her but the table could better have been arranged so that each lady had a gentleman on each side. 

The top arrangement shows the diagram which Nancy drew. Then they watched another group of six who were seated at an oblong table. Evidently it was a party and the lady and gentleman who were entertaining had two husbands and wives as their guests. By seating them as shown in the lower diagram it was possible to do all these things which are socially correct: Have hostess and host at foot and head of table respectively. Alternate men and women about the table.

Separate husbands and wives. They should never be seated side by side at a dinner or luncheon table. The lady who was hostess has a gentleman at either side of her and the host has a lady on either side of him. The lady who sits on his right is the wife of the man who sits on the hostess’ right, and the lady on his left is the wife of the man who sits on the hostess’ left. – Florence LaGanke as “Nancy Page” for the San Pedro Pilot, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tea and Dining in Early America

This Steiff sterling, Williamsburg Virginia, reproduction of a “sucket” fork and spoon which features a “rat tail” on top of the back of the spoon’s bowl. Early American Silver had a style all its own. A “rat tail” was a design component which reinforced the bowl of the spoon to the handle.– “Teaspoons were not of a standard size. Often, they were small and of a proportion which allowed them to be laid across the tops of the small handleless cup, as an indication that no more tea was desired. That used to be the etiquette.”

The “Nancy Page” club was almost ready to close its season. They still had some of the fittings of the early American home to study. Today they were interested in silver. First they noted the exquisite texture of the old silver. This came from the fact that it was worked entirely by hand. The hand process kept in a certain life of the silver which heavy rollers of modern usage take out. The spoons made before 1730 or thereabouts had the characteristic “rat tail” a short distance down the back of the bowl, but this extended down further in later years, say 1750. 

The crest or initials were usually engraved on the back of the handle. The bowl of the spoon became less elliptical in the later years. Teaspoons were not of a standard size. Often, they were small and of a proportion which allowed them to be laid across the tops of the small handleless cup, as an indication that no more tea was desired. That used to be the etiquette.

Cream pitchers changed their shapes according to the contours of the other furnishings of the home. Just as the present angular age with its flat surfaces and planes has brought in new silver as well as furniture, so that age with its swelling bulbous contour in decoration, affected the silver. Sometimes the cream pitchers were danity, three-legged affairs like the one shown. This dates back to about 1790. Earlier in point of time when contours were more substantial, we get a tea pot similar to the one shown. These dated back about 1700. It has the domed top of the period and used an ebony handle to make it easier for a hostess to handle the pot filled with hot tea. – Florence LaGanke as “Nancy Page” for the San Pedro Pilot, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1920’s Train and Travel Etiquette

  

Nancy and Peter Knew That Good Manners Mark the Well Bred Person

Nancy and Peter were returning from their short stay in Florida. On the train Nancy watched folks and decided that many of them were good travelers but that a few needed some lessons in train and travel etiquette. For instance, there was the woman who came into the dining car without a hat. It is true that the train was her home for the time being, but it was a home in the sense that a hotel is a home—just temporarily, and as such it becomes a place in which a person maintains certain formalities. Then there was the woman who traveled with much jewelry and wore it all. The train is no place to shine like the morning star, nor is it the place where one’s dressiest clothes are worn. No longer do women feel correctly dressed for traveling only when they are in blue serge, but the well bred woman is still inconscpicuous in her clothes when she travels.   

Another little habit of many travellers which annoyed Nancy was the conversational one. Invariably her seat was close beside two people who felt compelled to tell each other the life history of themselves, their families even unto the uttermost relationship. Confidences which should never be given to one’s dearest friend seem to fall from the lips of some travellers into the ears of veriest strangers. Nancy and Peter were courteous in their greetings to folks on the train, they gave a friendly greeting, passed the time of day and then stopped. Books, magazines, papers were always close at hand and were used to stop many attempts at wearisome and long drawn out conversations. – “Nancy Page” for the San Pedro Pilot, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Failing Graden Party Etiquette

Some of the guests at the tea remembered the duty they owed their hostesses. They knew enough to step up at the end of the party and express their appreciation of the afternoon. Some guests were so rude that they just walked away with never a “thank you” nor “good-bye.” 

The trustees and the school board were giving a garden party for the graduating class. On the lawn in the school yard a large umbrella had been erected and under it was placed the tea table. It held the punch bowl and the urn with the hot tea. Most of the faculty wives took tea, but the graduating class all gravitated to the punch bowl. 

On another table were plates of sandwiches. Little pennants, painted in the class colors, were put on skewers and inserted in a pile of sandwiches and bore the name of the sandwich on the plate. It was easy to choose the minced ham or the cool green cucumber or the orange marmalade, because the name was right there. In addition there were salted nuts and small hard candies, no bonbons and no cakes.

Some of the guests at the tea remembered the duty they owed their hostesses. They knew enough to step up at the end of the party and express their appreciation of the afternoon. Some guests were so rude that they just walked away with never a “thank you” nor “good-bye.” The faculty decided that a course in etiquette would be a most desirable one to have in the curriculum next year. 

There was no entertainment planned for this garden party. The guests strolled here and there saying those usual nothings which parting classmates find to say one to another. Had it rained the faculty were prepared to set up the tea tables in the gymnasium. If that were necessary they planned to have the orchestra play for dancing. But the weather was with them and the party was a great success. – “Nancy Page” for San Pedro Pilot, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

On Flatware History and Settings

“In general,” says Graber, “the proper table setting in the United States consists of two forks to the left of the plate, a knife and spoon to the right and any dessert utensils above the plate. The bread plate goes above the plate to the left and the wine and water glasses to the right and above the plate. The fork is never placed atop the napkin, but the napkin may be put on the plate. “I leave the bottom charger plate at the table during the whole meal.” – Graber with Mark Kriski, showing 1996 holiday settings on KTLA Television 

Were you born with a silver spoon in your mouth? Or would you be found below the salt? These expressions of high or low social status were derived from culinary traditions. “Below the salt” goes back to the days when salt was very valuable and therefore reserved for the nobles who sat above others, at the head of the table. “Born with a silver spoon” referred to the boxed sets containing a silver engraved knife, fork and spoon given a child at birth as a symbol of status. The child would take this personal set when he or she went away to school or on visits. Historical tidbits such as these intrigue Maura Graber, director of the R.S.V.P. Institute of Etiquette in Ontario. She often gives lectures on table settings. “I have a fascination for the unusual,” Graber said. “I started my business by giving children classes in etiquette, but as I was researching traditions, I became interested in antique flatware and the different utensils that have been used during the centuries.” 

“It’s said that Catherine De Medici, the Italian Countess, popularized eating utensils,” Graber said. “When royalty starts doing something, everyone starts. The knives, however, were made with blunt edges, so there would be no bloodshed at the table during disagreements.” The fork made then was simpler, stronger and larger than those made just for sweets. The first meat forks had two or three prongs, but a four-pronged type was developed before the end of the 17th century. With the fashion of flatware and serving utensils came a plethora of patterns, styles and types of pieces. “They kind of went nuts,” Graber said. “In Edwardian times, there could be as many as 31 different utensils used for a formal dinner.”

“I like the investigative work,” Graber said. “It's interesting to find out the history.” She has found that in napkin ring etiquette, it's proper in the United States to put the napkin back in the ring, but in France, this is rude because it presumes you are a permanent guest. In her silver collection is an olive spoon from the Victorian times that is coated with vermeil, a thin layer of gold, so the olives wouldn't corrode the silver. “If you have any utensil coated with vermeil, it's a giveaway that it's for something acidic, or salty,” she said, “such as olives.” Husband Cliff's family business is Graber Olives, and the couple and their two children live in the Graber Olive House, which is over 100 years old.

Other vintage utensils she owns are butter forks used for picking up little balls of butter, a sardine fork with a salmon design and a sucket– a fork with a spoon on one end and a two-pronged fork on the other. “This was used for foods like gingered plums, that were very popular during the Colonial times,” she said. “What you would do is spear the plum and eat it and then turn the sucket around and drink the syrup from the spoon side.” Some of the utensils she has are very practical. “One butter knife stands on it’s side in a butter dish rather than flopping over. “These are rather rare.” Graber said.

“In general, the proper table setting in the United States consists of two forks to the left of the plate, a knife and spoon to the right and any dessert utensils above the plate. The bread plate goes above the plate to the left and the wine and water glasses to the right and above the plate. The fork is never placed atop the napkin, but the napkin may be put on the plate. I leave the bottom charger (or service plate) at the table during the whole meal.” Graber said, “It gives you something different to look at between courses, it adds color and it cuts down on spills on the tablecloth.” 

Between her children’s etiquette classes, the adult etiquette dinners she and her husband conduct at their home and her television appearances, Graber is busy. But she doesn't pretend to be a Martha Stewart-like superwoman, even though she did have Stewart to dinner at her house. “My next project will be a no-brainer cookbook, full of recipes that can be made in minutes using things like canned potatoes and frozen bread dough. I use many shortcuts when I cook. I have to,” she said. – Kathy Bryant for the Los Angeles Times, 1997

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Place Plate Etiquette

Service plates or place plates can easily elevate the look of one’s table. “The service plate remains upon the table until the dish is served and forms a foundation plate for both the cocktail and the soup.” – “Service plates,” “place plates” or “chargers” are now left by some hosts and hostesses, until the dessert course because it is used as a decorative part of the place setting.

A Table Nicety 

Strict regard for the niceties of table setting is an unfailing test of the clever hostess and requires continued observance of the correct laying of all the sterling appointments. An item of particular importance, is the place plate, used today in many smart homes. The etiquette of this piece of sterling need cause no worry in the heart of the inexperienced housewife. She must remember only this; at no time should the guest be left without a plate in front of him. The service plate remains upon the table until the dish is served and forms a foundation plate for both the cocktail and the soup. Like all pieces, it is removed from the left by the maid. In many homes, the place plate is returned and used for the dinner course, for which it is equally appropriate. – Calexico Chronicle, 1928

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Setting a Table in the 1920’s

In “Nancy Page” – The Pages are Entertained at an Architect’s Dinner

When Nancy and Peter returned from their southern trip they were welcomed back by the Culvers. They gave a dinner party for eight couples. Knowing that Nancy and Peter were interested in building, the centerpiece appropriately enough was a toy house. It set bravely in the midst of shrubbery made from small bitse of sponges dyed green. The place cards were small blue prints and each service plate was set on a simulated plate doily of a blue print. One doily showed the upstairs, another gave a side view, or a front elevation and so forth. The soup was served with toast sticks arranged log cabin fashion. Mrs. Culver said that the dessert should have been that popular, but dreadful, dish called “tin roof,” but she could not bring herself to spoil her dinner in that way. Of course they had chocolate chips as candy. 

She allowed eighteen inches space for each guest. This space is called a “cover.” On each cover she placed a service plate in the center and one inch from edge of table.

Mrs. Culver knew the way in which a table should be set. She allowed eighteen inches space for each guest. This space is called a “cover.” On each cover she placed a service plate in the center and one inch from edge of table. On the plate was a large dinner napkin folded in thirds and then in fifths. At the head of the forks was the bread and butter plate with bread and butter knife placed squarely across the plate. The salad fork was close to the plate on the left and the dinner fork was on outside left. The knife was at right of plate with soup spoon beyond that. Goblet was at top of knife. All sliver was exactly one inch from edge of table. This formality of setting makes for good looking tables, as Mrs. Culver knew. If you are interested in further details of table etiquette, write to Nancy Page, care of this paper, enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, asking for her leaflet on “Table Etiquette.”– By Florence LaGanke syndicated as “Nancy Page”, San Pedro News Pilot, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Historic Place Settings 1855-2005

Great Historic Places to See: 

150 Years of Place Settings in the United States

from 1955 to 2005

Created by Maura J Graber and Eda Bierman

These historically accurate place settings from 1855 to 2005, along with their accompanying stories and menus, were created by Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia Site Editor, Maura J Graber, and theme event designer, Eda Bierman. The nine “Great Historic Places to See” were created for, and shown at, the 2006 “Designs for Dining” fundraiser, held yearly in Palos Verdes Estates. 

1910's setting (above) was a favorite. At a presentation given that afternoon for the event and viewing, the settings were explained in full, including the flatware, dishes and glassware for them. Here are a few examples below: 

• In this setting above, one can see a fish knife and matching fish fork. In the Victorian and Edwardian eras, “fish sets” like these were considered utensils for parvenus or the newly rich, who clearly had not yet developed good taste or good table manners. 
  Fish sets were seen as a frivolous novelty. Those with ancient pedigrees, or “old money,” ate their fish with a fork in each hand. But in Britain and Europe, old money was slowly being propped up by new money coming in from the United States and Americans had fallen in love with all of the new utensils invented during the Victorian era. Americans, by and large, had no such issue with their fish or flatware.

• The “green swirl” Depression glass plate in the 1925 place setting, is a bit early (at least 4 years early for the Great Depression), however, colorful glassware had been popular for some time by 1925, so we took artistic license in our choice.

• The 1955 place setting was for a Bridge Luncheon and the cigarettes, matches and ashtray all reflect the fact that in the mid-20th century, smoking was not only condoned, but enabled at the dining table. Etiquette required that each properly set place setting, or cover, provided a minimum of 3 cigarettes, a lighter or matches and an ashtray.

• Photos shown here were taken at various times throughout the day. Though we tried to keep them from doing so, some attendees picked up a few of the cards to get a closer look, or moved pieces of the flatware after checking to see who the maker was, and for that reason not all of the setting's pieces are exactly where they should be in the photos.

That's Eda Bierman on the left and Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia Site Editor, Maura J. Graber, peeking over her shoulder, as attendees view the settings and read the menus and story cards.

1855's Setting 

1875's Setting

1910's Setting

1925's Setting

1940's Setting

1955's Setting

1970's Setting

1995's Setting

2005's Setting

British Royal Birthday Etiquette

Ruler of Great Britain, King Edward VII, Attains Age of 68 and is Overwhelmed by Tenents and Employes With Tokens of Their Loyalty and Good Will

This being the 68th anniversary of the birth of King Edward, President Taft today sent him the following congratulatory telegram; “I warmly congratulate your Majesty on your happy completion of another year, and wish for you all health and happiness in long years to come.” 

London, Nov. 9—King Edward VII, is celebrating his 68 birthday privately at his residence at Sandringham, Norfolk, today. His birthday was officially celebrated on Coronation Day last June. The counties of Norfolk and Suffolk, which consider themselves part of the Royal domain, have closed their schools in honor of the event, salutes are being fired at garrison towns all over the empire, flags are flying everywhere and thousands of congratulatory telegrams from prominent men and women throughout the world have been delivered at Sandringham, where the King will remain today surrounded by his family and a few friends. Court etiquette forbids the presentation of gifts except from members of the Royal family, but tenants and employees of the King’s own estate are allowed to make kindly little offerings, and with these, Edward is fairly overwhelmed today. – Press Democrat, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Curtsey Lessons for Queen Times 5

Practicing their curtsies, per chance? The Dionne quintuplets were the most celebrated siblings of their day and were famous around the world. Postcards, dolls, silver spoons and more, all carried the images of the fab five girls; Yvonne, Marie, Emilie, Annette and Cecile.

                                                                                         

         The Quints Meet the Queen 

Sturdy stock, these Dionnes! With Washington society already a little breathless over the oncoming visit of the King and Queen of England, up in Callander, Ont., the Dionne quintuplets are taking it all in their stride. These celebrated sisters are also going to have a visit with England’s top royalty. This week they’ve gone into training for the event, learning to recite the proper salutation and to curtsey without falling backwards or tumbling head-on at Their Majestie’s feet. But this week, and for years, that meeting will be just one more event in their busy lives. Today, a bit of drilling on the niceties of court etiquette. Next Monday, a “how-do-you-do” to the King and Queen in person. Week after that, a birthday party when the sprightly five of a kind celebrate their fifth birthday. 

Next comes June, and with it the tourist parade sweeping into Callander and up to the Dionne play-yard. But come tourists, photographers, cameramen, writers or royalty, it’s all one to the quintuplets. Keeping their balance and, on the word of Dr. Dafoe, remaining normal, healthy youngsters. Yet it must be admitted these Dionnes do have an edge. These five smart girls have already amassed a tidy fortune well past the half million mark. By the time their eighth birthday comes round, it’s expected to be close to a full million dollars. With riches and fame in their own right, Canada’s five little queens needn’t worry too much about that curtsey. They’re going to get along! – Coronado Eagle and Journal, 1939

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Early 20th C. Chinese Etiquette

“Specific regulations were drawn up as to the height of the stove-pipe hats which men were to wear on state occasions. 

The old Prince Albert coat, which European capitals have long discarded, was elevated to a place of distinction.”

The Prince Alberts in “Modern China” of 1915

PEKING, Nov. 28. —Chinese dressmakers, milliners and tailors are all in a flurry over the announcement that under the prospective Monarchy fashions will be quite unlike those of the Republic. So sure are the government officials of the result of the coming elections, that the Bureau of Rites has been instructed to prepare regulations for the etiquette of the Monarchy. Under the Republic the costumes and rules of conduct were wholly unlike those which prevailed in Imperial China. 

Specific regulations were drawn up as to the height of the stove-pipe hats which men were to wear on state occasions. 

The old Prince Albert coat, which European capitals have long discarded, was elevated to a place of distinction. In warm weather, distinguished gentlemen calling upon the President were permitted to wear a Prince Albert of unlined alpaca. Practically every detail of the costumes which members of Parliament must wear was fixed by mandate, and there was great confusion when the Chinese officials found it was necessary to shelve their native garb and imitate the dress of western nations. President Yuan Shi-kai has intimated that there will be no restoration of the gorgeous attire assumed under the Manchu regime, but it is generally believed that the new Monarchy will not adhere to the strictly severe toilet of the Republic. 

At conferences held by the Bureau of Rites the following topics have already been considered: First – The etiquette to be adopted in foreign and diplomatic affairs, such as the form of correspondence, the ceremony of receiving guests, the ceremony for diplomatic funerals; Second — The etiquette in connection with domestic affairs, such as the ceremony to be performed when the “Heavenly Son” is ascending the throne; Third— The etiquette for the Imperial household, including funeral ceremonies, marriage rites and birthday celebrations. 

In discussing the deliberations of the Bureau of Rites, the Peking Daily News, which is a staunch supporter of the Monarchial movement, says: “As the re-establishment of the Monarchy is a foregone conclusion, there is every likelihood that changes will be brought about in a very short time, and the etiquette promulgated by the Republic will no longer be applicable when the Monarchial form of government is restored. In view of these facts, conferences have been held by the Bureau of Rites for the various kinds of etiquette and rites to be adopted by the new government, so as to ‘get shelters ready before the rainfall comes in.’” – Associated Press Correspondence, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. French vs Scottish Etiquette

The French use the same knife and fork for every dish and keep them when the plates are changed; and the Misses were horrified to see that the servants who took their plates coolly put their knife and fork on the cloth beside them, and did not give them a clean one until the dessert was served!
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In this tale, the French shine and the Scottish, pale in a comparison of good manners...

“A number of yours ago two Scotch ladies paid a visit to Paris, accompanied by their brother whose business let him to go thither every year. He was slightly acquainted with several Parisian families, but, not speaking French fluently, he had little domestic intercourse with them. The two Misses D––– , on their arrival, expected that their brother's acquaintances would call on them, as they had been made aware of their arrival; but not a soul came near them. They did not know that in France the etiquette is for the stranger to call first—precisely the reverse of what is the practice in England; besides which, they were ignorant of the fact that the French do not cultivate the acquaintance of foreigners, rarely giving them invitations to their houses.  

“Receiving no attentions, the ladies found Paris to be rather dull, their only amusement being sight-seeing. One day, walking with their brother in the Champs-Élysées  be introduced them to a lady whom they chanced to meet. Taking pity on their isolation, she invited them to dine with her on the following day. Here was something good at last. The invitation was accepted. Next day they took care to lie in good time, equipped in their best, in low, pink silk dresses, short sleeves, and white satin shoes, to the great astonishment of their hostess, who took it for granted that they were going to a ball afterward. They were equally surprised to find her in the same high dark silk which she had worn when out walking. 

“Dinner was served, and commenced with the national pot au feu (soup) and bouilli (the beef from which the soup is made), and which the lady carved in shapeless lumps, not in thin slices, as in England; stewed beef with macaroni, vol au vent, fricandeau, and roast turkey followed in quick succession. The lady carved small pieces of each dish, and put them 0n a plate, which was handed round to each guest to help themselves. The Scotch ladies, accustomed to eating potatoes with every dish, were puzzled to find none forthcoming. After the meat came a dish of green peas and salad. The French use the same knife and fork for every dish and keep them when the plates are changed; and the Misses D—– were horrified to see that the servants who took their plates coolly put their knife and fork on the cloth beside them, and did not give them a clean one until the dessert was served. 

“They were greatly perplexed by the variety of dishes served, the absence of potatoes and the arrival of green peas after the meat had been taken away! The dinner was good, but the oddity of the arrangement was incomprehensible. It was a violation of all ordinary conceptions. After dinner the gentlemen led the ladies back to the drawing-room, and cafe noir was served. Strong black coffee, without milk or cream, was not very palatable to the Scotch ladies, though they found the liqueurs which succeeded it —creme de moka and creme de vanille — excellent. After sitting chatting for about half an hour, the hostess astonished the Misses by announcing her intention of going for a walk, it being summer, and the days long; and, said she, looking hesitatingly at the evening costumes of her visitors: ‘As I presume you are going to a soiree, I am sorry I cannot have the pleasure of your company.’ 

“The Scotch ladies were too shy, and too little acquainted to converse in French to ask for explanations, but they thought the lady very rude to turn them out of her house in this cool way; they had not ordered their carriage until half-past ten, so they begged her to allow her servant to fetch one for them, and returned to their hotel, marvelling at the unmannerly impudence of French ladies. They did not know that a casual invitation to dinner does not necessarily imply staying the evening; and no French lady would wear a low dress for even after a ceremonious dinner-party. Full-dress is only de rigueur for a ball or a very large soiree, and then only for young girls. Ladies dress more according to their ago in France than in England; and you never see old, or even middle-aged ladies dressed like young ones; or, if you do, you may be sure that they are not French.” – The Mariposa Gazette, 1875

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gentlemanly Behavior in Public

The gentleman never smokes, or spits upon the walk, to the exceeding annoyance of those who are always disgusted with tobacco in any shape.

Good behavior upon the street, or public promenade, marks the gentleman most effectually; rudeness, incivility, disregard of “what the world says,” marks the person of low breeding. We always know, in walking a square with a man, if he is a gentleman or not. A real gentility never does the following things on the street, in presence of observers:—

• Never picks the teeth, nor scratches the head.
• Never swears or talks uproariously.
• Never picks the nose with the finger.
• Never smokes, or spits upon the walk, to the exceeding annoyance of those who are always disgusted with tobacco in any shape.
• Never stares at any one, man or woman, in a marked manner.
• Never scans a lady's dress impertinently, and makes no rude remarks about her.
• Never crowds before promenaders in a rough or hurried way.
• Never jostles a lady or gentleman without an “excuse me.”
• Never treads upon a lady's dress without begging pardon.
• Never loses temper, nor attracts attention by excited conversation.
• Never dresses in an odd or singular manner, so as to create remark.
• Never fails to raise his hat politely to a lady acquaintance; nor to a male friend who may be walking with a lady—it is a courtesy to the lady.– Beadle’s Dime Book of Practical Etiquette, 1859

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia