1930’s Etiquette and the Sexes

Q. When a man is being introduced to a girl, is it proper for him to offer his hand? 
A. No; he should wait for the girl to offer her hand, if she cares to do so. That is her privilege.

Q. When a man and a girl meet often, but have never been introduced, is it all right for the girl to speak ?
A. Yes, if she is much interested and is courageous enough to run the risk of an undesirable acquaintance.

Q. When a man is being introduced to a girl, is it proper for him to offer his hand?
A. No; he should wait for the girl to offer her hand, if she cares to do so. That is her privilege.

Q. What should a girl do when a young man calls in the evening and doesn't seem to knew when to go?
A. Allowing long lapses in the conversation is sometimes an effective method. If this doesn't work, it seems that a suppressed yawn or two would be justified.  

Q. What does it indicate when a man. in conversation, is constantly talking: about himself, his adventures and experiences ? A. It is a sure indication of ill-breeding, and such a man can never become popular.

Q. Is it ever proper for the parents of a girl’s fiance to announce the engagement.
A. No; this is the privilege of the girls parents only.

Q. Is it sufficient for a bride and bridegroom to thank their friends verbally for wedding gifts.
A. No; a personal letter of thanks should be written by the bride for each gift.

Q. Is it necessary to write the prefix “Mr.” when “Jr.” is used after a man’s name?
A. Yes, both Mr. and Jr. must be used. – Roberta Lee’s “Modern Etiquette,” 1930’s

 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Properly Addressing Correspondence

How to Address an Envelope

It takes seconds to address an envelope.  And yet, we rarely receive a piece of mail with our name handwritten on it.

Sad, because this is the mail that makes our day!

When you check your mail, which pieces do you open first?  That's right, the cards and letters sent to you from someone who cares enough to take a moment and write a few lines - no special occasion required. 

In case you're out of practice, or were never sure how to address an envelope correctly, here are some basic rules for this meaningful task.

Titles

Men are addressed as Mr. and women are addressed as Ms.

Miss is used for girls up to the age of eighteen.  It can be used for single women as well, but the use of Ms. is the standard for adult women today.

Mrs. is used with a husband's name for a woman who is married.  If used with her given name, it signals that she is divorced.

Mrs. Thomas Banks (married)
Mrs. Sarah Banks (divorced)
Ms. Sarah Banks (any relationship status)

The Order of Names

Unmarried couples are addressed on two separate lines.  The woman's name is listed first.  For same sex couples, names may be listed alphabetically.

Ms. Sarah Johnson          Mr. Thomas Banks          123 Alpha Street          Anywhere, USA  09876

Mr. James Allen          Mr. Toby Welchel          456 Alpha Street          Anywhere, USA  09876

Married couples are addressed on a single line.

Mr. & Mrs. Thomas Banks
    or
    Mr. Thomas Banks and Ms. Sarah Johnson

If both names do not fit on one line, place the second name on a separate line, and indent it.

                                               Mr. Thomas Banks
                                                   and Ms. Sarah Johnson

When both recipients have military rank, the person with highest rank is listed first.

Colonel Thomas M. Banks and Lieutenant Sarah J. Banks

This also applies to non-military rank.

Senator Sarah J. Banks and Mr. Thomas M. Banks

Dr. and Mrs. Thomas M. Banks

But if both are doctors, you may shorten it a bit.

The Doctors Allen

Address an Envelope with Good Thoughts

Once you have the names of recipients listed correctly, be sure and double-check the mailing address.  You can look up zip codes and find additional tips on how to address an envelope on the United States Postal Service website.  

As you write the name and address on the envelope, think something positive about the person you're writing to.  Not only does this give you a good feeling in that moment, you may find that it carries over to the moment the envelope is opened!  Give it a try.  

Contributor Candace Smith, teaches university students and professionals, the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia