A Gilded Age Philosophy of Etiquette

Though forks hadn’t started to appear on the tables of the United States until the 1830’s and 1840’s, like early mobile phone usage in the U.S., they soon took hold and were common place within a matter of just 15 to 20 years, as new technology always does. New etiquette was written for them too. By 1883, eating from one’s knife instead of a fork was discouraged in every book and publication of the day, as Granny would well know!

There is an 1883 philosophy in the requirements of good breeding, whether in the etiquette of the table, the street, the call or in the discharge of other social duties and pleasures. The requirements which polite society demands of its votaries are not mere arbitrary rules, but will be found to be invariably the result of a careful study of the greatest good and pleasure of the greatest number. 

Take, for instance, a very gross and marked example: Etiquette requires that the food shall be borne to the mouth on the fork and never on the knife. It is, evidently, most unclean, and, therefore, disagreeable to see a person thrust a knife into his mouth, and exceedingly trying to delicate nerves to see him in continual danger of involuntarily enlarging his mouth by an awkward slip of the knife.- From “Granmaw’s Kitchen” in Hilltop Messenger, 1967

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Importance of Good Manners, 1921

The Sword Swallower at the Table! – Time was when a man might win and still eat with his knife. But that time is past. The “sword swallower” is just as far removed from modern life as is the ape-like of feeding with the fingers. But eating with the knife is only one of dozens of things which should not be done at the table. 

Good Manners a Splendid Asset to Boy or Girl, Man or Woman, Young or Old

Good manners form an international language which every person in the world can understand. Even the Fiji cannibal will enjoy his dinner better if the missionary who forms the foundation of the feast goes into the pot smiling and suave rather than grouchy and crabbed. And —taking it the other way around —the missionary will be less unfavorably impressed with the general outcome of his religious endeavors if the cannibal welcomes him with a grin and gives him a “leg up” into the kettle, instead of swatting him on the head with a club and hurling him into the cauldron. 

Good manners means best of whatever comes along—putting the best foot foremost. Good manners are closely allied with optimism, for whoever saw a persistent pessimist who didn’t forget his breeding? Of course good manners and good breeding are not exactly synomymous, but they are nearly enough so to be accepted without entering into argument in the present instance. There is nothing in the world that makes so good an impression on others as an individual’s good manners. Every boy and girl, man and woman, should make a close study of manners and cultivate their courses of action until good manners become a regular and unbreakable habit. 

The parents should teach good manners to their children. The future life and the chances of business, social or professional success may hinge on the manners of any youth. And of the various kinds and classes of manners, the most conspicuous and the most vital is table manners. Time was when a man might win and still eat with his knife. But that time is past. The “sword swallower” is just as far removed from modern life as is the ape-like of feeding with the fingers. But eating with the knife is only one of dozens of things which should not be done at the table. 

A notable table atrocity is tucking the napkin under the chin. Another is drinking from the saucer. These mistakes, of course, are so flagrant anyone should know not to make them, but even in this enlightened age there are many who do not possess this knowledge or who do not have sufficient personal pride to exercise it. The little refinements, like always keeping your knife and fork on your plate when not in use, keeping your teaspoon in the saucer beside the cup when not used for stirring and never drinking tea or coffee from the spoon— these things be carefully studied, memorized and carried out in everyday life. Also not opening the lips when one chews and never making noises with the mouth while eating. 

Parents should watch these things carefully in their children. ' The child who goes forth without a thorough knowledge of manners and without a complete understanding of the value of manners and the, necessity for applying them is on the open road to failure. The impression that the youth— or the older person, for that matter, makes upon others is his or her greatest stock in trade. 

Great knowledge and splendid ability may be so camouflaged by a veneer of bad manners that they can never break through. Good manners give the same refinements to life that good clothes do to people, or artistic decorations do to rooms or buildings. There is this difference, however, that good manners cost nothing except the effort to acquire them and an occasional beneficial self-sacrifice in putting them into effect. – Los Angeles Herald, 1921

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Eating Off Knives Still Problem, 1910

There was a shock expressed over a German chef not knowing how to make a pie? But no shock expressed over a man eating what was supposed to represent a pie with a knife!?! Believe it or not, in 1910, in all circles of life, men were still eating with their knives and not forks. It had been well over a hundred years since forks had become a common site on tables in the US… longer than that in Europe. But many people found the fork to be unnecessary when dining, even though specific forks had been designed for eating pie for over 50 years at that point. Sometimes new-dangled technology takes longer to be adopted than expected. Forks were just such technology!

Pie-Land in Der Velt Voran

A San Francisco cartoonist represents Ned Greenway, on his contemplated trip to Europe, absorbing the social customs of various countries. The idea is good, and the drawing is good. But the German cartoon represents Ned holding a huge stein of beer, and eating pie with his knife. The beer is all right, and so is the knife. But the pie! Who ever heard of pie in Germany? 

Actually there is no word for “pie” in the German language, and the Germans do not know what pie looks like. We remember serving on a committee, two different Thanksgivings, in Berlin, that tried to teach the chef of the Kaiserhof to make mince pie. He concocted a something that tasted good, but it was not pie. 

The poor man had never seen a pie, and could not understand, from mere description, what so strange a dish might be like. There are a thousand Americans who know what Pökelkamm mit Erbsenpüree is to one German who knows what pie is. Pie, as has been well said, is the palladium of American liberty. Therefore, do not seek it in any military imperialism. – From the Fresno Republican, 1910

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Gilded Age Etiquette History Article

Butter knives, shown above with antique butter dishes and butter forks, were new to tables in the 1830’s- 1840’s. Butter forks and butter picks came later in the 1800’s. Prior to butter knives and individual butter spreaders being introduced, it was very common for diners to butter their bread with their thumbs.

While certain forms of table etiquette may seem altogether conventional, even fantastic, the forms usually observed are founded on good sense, and adapted to general convenience. Table etiquette is not, as is often alleged, merely a matter of fashion, although some things that were in vogue a generation or two ago are no longer deemed polite. The reason is that manners and table furniture have undergone so many changes, have really so much improved, as to require a mutual readjustment.

For example, everybody was accustomed twenty or thirty years since, to use the knife to carry food to the mouth, because the fork of the day was not adapted to the purpose. Since the introduction of the four-tined silver fork, it has so entirely supplanted the knife that the usage of the latter, in that way, is not only superfluous, but is regarded as a vulgarian.

Another example is the discontinuance of the custom of turning tea or coffee from the cup into the saucer. Although small plates were frequently employed to set the cup in, they were not at all in general use; and even when they were used, the tea or coffee was likely to be spilled upon the cloth. The habit, likewise, of putting one’s knife into the butter arose from the fact that the butter-knife proper had not been thought of. Such customs as these, once necessitated by circumstances, are now obviously inappropriate.

Certain habits, however, are regulated by good taste and delicacy of feeling, and the failure to adopt them argues a lack of fine perception or social insight. One of these is eating or drinking audibly. No sensitive person can hear any one taking his soup. coffee or other liquid, without positive annoyance. Yet those who would be very unwilling to consider themselves ill bred are constantly guilty of such breaches of politeness. 

The defect is that they are not so sensitive as those with whom they come in contact. They would not be disturbed by the offence; they never imagine, therefore, that any one else can be. It is for them that rules of etiquette are particularly designed. Were their instinct correct, they would not need the rule, which, from the absence of instinct, appears to them irrational, purely arbitrary.

To rest one’s elbow on the table is more than a transgression of courtesy, it is an absolute inconvenience to one’s neighbors. All awkwardness of position, such as sitting too far back from or leaning over the table, are reckoned as rudeness, because they put others ill at ease through fear of such accidents as are liable to happen from any uncouthness.

These and kindred matters are trifles; but social life is so largely composed of trifles, that to disregard them wholly is a serious affront. We can hardly realize to what extent our satisfaction of dissatisfaction is made up of things in themselves insignificant, until their observance or nonobservance is brought directly home to us.– Scribner’s Monthly, 1884

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

A Table Etiquette Refresher from 1913

“When in doubt, use your fork” is a pretty fair table rule. The knife, of course, is absolutely tabooed except for cutting and spreading. The spoon is used only for liquids and soft desserts. Vegetables served as side dishes are usually eaten with a fork. –Forks at the table were not commonly used in the United States until the early 1800’s. This partial Sears and Roebuck catalog page above was from a 1912 catalog. Inexpensive silver plated knives, forks and spoons were made available to the masses. Just as today, basic table manners were featured in the news, so that every social class could sharpen their utensil skills.

GOOD TABLE MANNERS

It is sometimes difficult to make young people, particularly boys, appreciate the value of correct table manners. “Aw, what's the difference?” they ask when told not to eat with their knives.

The difference is that as a whole table etiquette is based upon the fundamental principles of convenience, neatness and self-restraint. Disregard of it causes the offender to appear slovenly, greedy and inconsiderate of the sensibilities of others, says the Woman's World.

Sit erect at the table. Don’t sprawl with your elbows on the table. Don't attempt to bring your mouth down to your food; raise the food to your mouth.

Don't shake your napkin out with a flourish; unfold it and spread it across your knees. Raise one corner of it to your lips as occasion arises.

In your own home, or in a house where you expect to be a guest for several meals, fold your napkin when you are through with it. If a guest for one meal only, crumple the napkin slightly and lay it unfolded beside your plate. The assumption is, of course, that it will not be used again until it is washed.

Do not break crackers into your soup. Look at the next person you see doing it and observe what an unsavory looking dish it produces. Never dip crackers or bread into any sort of liquid.

In dipping up soup move the spoon toward the outer edge of the dish. Take the soup from the side of the spoon.

“When in doubt, use your fork” is a pretty fair table rule. The knife, of course, is absolutely tabooed except for cutting and spreading. The spoon is used only for liquids and soft desserts. Vegetables served as side dishes are usually eaten with a fork.

In cutting meat, take the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left, cut off a proper mouthful, lay the knife down on the right side of the plate, transfer the fork to the right hand, holding the tines pointed downward, and raise the meat to the mouth.

It sounds slow, to be sure, but rapid eating is neither healthful nor pleasant to watch. – Organized Labor, 1913

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Teaches Legal Lesson

Sharp, steel bladed knives like this gilded age “Bird Knife” (above) designed for cutting an individual game or fowl course, could be disastrous if it was being used also to eat one’s food from, as opposed to just using it for the cutting of one’s food. – Image of Gorham’s Chantilly pattern, “Bird Knife and Fork Set” from the Etiquipedia private library.

 

 

Taught Him a Lesson

Etiquette is responsible for a queer legal decision. A traveler on a German railway train attempted to eat a lunch, and, while in the act of conveying food to his mouth, the train stopped suddenly, and his cheek was badly eut on the edge of the knife he was using. 

The man sued the railway company for damages, but his claim was defeated on the grounds that it was a breach of etiquette for him to eat with a knife. The court recited unto him the chestnut that, “A man can not take advantage of his own wrong.” – The Morning Union, 1890

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Table Etiquette

“A good rule is to use the fork almost constantly, and put only a little upon it at a time. In this way the food is conveyed to the mouth– never with the knife–although in some countries the knife is still used, even amongst royalty.”

A Few of the Things Every Self-Respecting Person Should Know

Table etiquette is almost a science nowadays, and it is necessary to conform to its laws. A good rule is to use the fork almost constantly, and put only a little upon it at a time. In this way the food is conveyed to the mouth– never with the knife–although in some countries the knife is still used, even amongst royalty. If you have strawberries and cream, soup, melons, stewed fruit, preserved fruit, preserves and jellies, eat them with a spoon. These things, because of their juiciness, can not be eaten with a fork. 

Fish should be eaten with a knife and fork, and every well-regulated house, when it serves oysters on the half shell, will place a small, silver fork beside each guest’s plate. When the hostess serves strawberries with the green stems, then they are invariably to be taken up in the fingers (by the stem) and eaten one at a time. Fruit like pears and apples is first peeled, then quartered, and then taken up in the fingers and eaten. 

With salads, the knife and fork are used, if the salad has not been cut up before being served. No hostess who understands table etiquette, nor a waiter who has been well trained, will ever think of offering you more than a ladleful of soup, and if you are at a private or fashionable dinner (anywhere except hotel), and the dinner is too hot, or you do not happen to like a certain dish after it has been served, pretend to eat it, and this consideration on your part will make you the everlasting friend of the host and hostess. 

Don’t stop short and sit back in your chair. That is the most embarrassing kind of embarrassment for both yourself, your host and your associates. These are a few of the things every body should know.- By Farm and Fireside, 1889

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Use of Fork an Index to Breeding

A screenshot of a dining scene in the “Cranford” series shows a young woman eating with her knife after her host models the behavior himself. The dining scene is set in 1840 England. – “It is only within the last half century that the practice of eating with forks has prevailed; yet nowadays it would be regarded almost as an insult to one’s readers even to mention the fact that the knife should never be put in the mouth.”

“It is the manner which is better than all.” 

-Sir Phillip Sidney

Many persons have an idea that it is consistent with good table manners to assist the fork with a small piece of bread held in the left hand. Of course, if enough well bred persons though do so and acted accordingly it would be correct, for after all, good manners are nothing in the world but the present usage of those persons who form what, for lack of a letter term, we call the “better class.” 

This does not mean the wealthier people or the people who claim most aristocratic ancestry; but it does mean the people who take life seriously enough and care enough for their neighbors and for themselves to wish to conduct themselves in the way that will be most congenial and will be most conductive to their own success and happiness. So, although some careful persons use bread to help push food on the fork, the consensus of opinion seems to be unfavorable to the practice. As one recent authority on table manners puts it; “The resort to the bit of bread as a pusher is merely childish.”

Worse than childish is the habit of loading the fork with the knife: at least it is contrary to the best American usage. Children ought to be taught very early the knack of managing their fork, without the assistance of fingers, fork or knife. It is not easy, but to eat with chopsticks must be considerably more difficult, and very young Japanese children learn to be skillful with those implements. 

It might be said that the proper use of the fork is as much a test of the good manners of the American as the ability to use chopsticks is of the Asian. But the fork has been used as an eating implement only in comparatively recent times. The Asians were facile with chopsticks hundreds of years , ago, when the only forks in our homes were those employed in the kitchen for lifting meat in cooking. It is only within the last half century that the practice of eating with forks has prevailed; yet nowadays it would be regarded almost as an insult to one’s readers even to mention the fact that the knife should never be put in the mouth. 

About thirty-five years ago, Alfred Ayres, writing in a little handbook of good manners, warns his readers not to be inconsiderate of the feelings of others in this matter of eating with the fork. He tells his readers that if they happen to be dining at a home where only the old fashioned steel forks are used, that they should eat with their knives, as others do. “Do not let it be seen,” he says, “that you have any objection to doing so, nor let it be known that you ever do otherwise. He that advised us to do in Rome as the Romans do was a true gentleman.” – Mary Marshall Duffee, 1917

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Knifing of Food to Saucering of Drinks

 

In the region within a radius of 50 miles around Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, the knife was commonly, but not always, used by men over 50, but rarely by those under 50, or by women, among “genteel people,” up to about 1875... — Some men owned handcrafted knives (designed like this one pictured above) to more easily eat their food from knives, as opposed to learning how to use forks. 

'Knifing' of Food Went Out With 'Saucering' of Coffee

To the Editor of the New York Times:

Perhaps Charles U. Powell can use data from various parts of the country in clearing up the period when the fork replaced the knife as an instrument for carrying food to the mouth.

In the region within a radius of 50 miles around Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, the knife was commonly, but not always, used by men over 50, but rarely by those under 50, or by women, among “genteel people,” up to about 1875.

The change may have been due to a regard for the niceties of social usage. About the same. Those older men stopped pouring coffee into the saucer, and also removed the spoon from the cup when they drank.

That conditions varied in other parts of the country, and later seems indicated by the usage on steamers in the Great Lakes early in the century. At a certain stage, the steward put his head between the double doors in the kitchen and advised: “Keep your knives, gents; there's pie.”

It is interesting that in an early guide to etiquette, prepared by Christopher Dock, “the pious schoolmaster of the Skippack,” for his pupils, about the time of the Revolution, they were urged to not to convey food to their mouths with their knives or fingers, but only with forks or spoons. — George Dock, Pasadena California, October 1940

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Tales of “Knife Dining”

A hand-made, 19th century, pea knife.

Why He Used a Knife 
Blobbs—See that fellow over there eating with his knife? Slobbs —Yes; he probably wants to sharpen his appetite.—Philadelphia Inquirer, 1908 

Teaching a Bride?
Illinois congressman, Frank T. O’Hair, has a sense of humor. Also, O’Hair got married a few years ago. On the wedding trip, O’Hair frequently mortified his bride by eating with his knife and pointing out objects of interest with his fork. Not until the wedding journey was over, did his bride receive positive assurance that O’Hair really knew better. He had been eating with his knife because he thought it was a good joke on his wife. — Los Angeles Herald, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Discretion and Preservation

“That to eat with a knife is considered a crime against society, though no discoverable reason exists for the opinion. Ethically, a knife is as good as a fork. Essentially, no less polite. Possibly not. But less safe...The danger of cutting the mouth with a knife is reason enough for its general disfavor. A mere ancestral discretion and self-preservation may be at the root of all manners.” — A rare, hand-crafted, early to mid-19th century, “pea knife.” This blunt and rounded-blade knife, has a steel “bar” attached, so that peas and other foods would not fall off of the other side of the blade, when lifting one’s foods from the plate to the mouth.

In San Francisco, one still feels rather foolish when the Floods’ butler announces Mrs. Buchanan Broadway, just as they do on the stage. One remembers fearful attempts at easy grace of stage guests announced. It is necessary to avoid their elaborations. To remain natural and unaffected. One must seem to have been announced before. If one knows an academic interest in manners, the ceremony is interesting. To become absurd at informal affairs, where, for no other reason in the world than to amuse the footman, one is announced for an intimate call. It’s a question of discrimination. When to and when not to announce.

There was the case of Mrs. Blank, who didn’t know whether one of the guests at her bridge tea last week was really a guest, or a thief in disguise. She was perfectly strange. Entered alone and greeted the hostess, to give no hint of her identity. Mrs. Blank was dismayed. Until it was found she was just “Mrs. D.,” known only, it happened, through cards “left.” A circumstance retold to prove a point. The reason and right of announcing guests on occasions. A footman to properly repeat, “Mrs. D,” would have placed her at once for Mrs. Blank. It was some situation of the sort, no doubt, that first suggested the custom. Manners are sometimes less mad than they seem. Even the custom of shaking hands high under the chin was traced to a royal rheumatism or some aristocratic affection in England.

All of which is provoked by a recent arraignment of manners. In an essay of ridicule, Mr. Francis Rolt-Wheeler, Ph.D., has written of their insignificance and general senselessness at length. He declares there is nothing morally binding in etiquette. That to eat with a knife is considered a crime against society, though no discoverable reason exists for the opinion. Ethically, a knife is as good as a fork. Essentially, no less polite. Possibly not. But less safe. Mr. Francis Rolt-Wheeler, Ph.D., must admit it is that. The danger of cutting the mouth with a knife is reason enough for its general disfavor. A mere ancestral discretion and self-preservation may be at the root of all manners. — The Smart Set, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Mistaken Notions

“The Englishman traveled to the town where his victim’s widowed mother lived, and at the end of a two hours’ conversation, he convinced her of his sincere regret and his wish to serve her. She admitted that her son had not died through his fault, but through the mistaken notions of honor current among the youth of Germany.”  What a shame that the Englishman could not exhibit self-discipline and keep his criticism and thoughts to himself. A young fool’s life could have been saved until he could at least grown up a bit and learned from his mistakes.    
“The Code Of Honor—A Duel In The Bois De Boulogne, Near Paris,” wood engraving after Godefroy Durand, Harper's Weekly, 1875, Public Domain... For more on the etiquette of duels, click here

A Young Fool’s Duel 

and an Etiquette Critic’s Remorse

At Heidelberg an English friend once dined at the table d’hôte, and being seated right opposite a young man who wore the badge of a “corps” across his breast, he could not help noticing the extraordinary manner in which the young man took his meal. At first he admired him for the skillful manner in which he managed his knife, which incessantly passed from his plate to his mouth, heavily laden as it was with green peas. But when the student, having finished his meat, took up his gravy with the knife, the Englishman began to feel his blood boil within him. 

Pudding with apple-sauce followed, and the student operated with his dessert knife just as he had done with the larger knife. But the Englishman could control himself no longer. In a hoarse whisper, he addressed his vis-a-vis, saying: “You will cut your mouth open if you don’t leave off eating gravy with your knife.” The student looked up and answered: “What is that to you? I can cut my mouth open to my ears, for all you have a right to interfere.” “Oh nonsense,” said the Englishman, coolly; “you can’t expect a decent person to let you butcher yourself at dinner!” “Oh, but I can, though, and you shall see! Dummer Junge!” With that the student rose and left the room. 

‘Dummer Junge!’ (meaning ‘stupid fellow’) signifies as much as a challenge. When the student’s seconds came to arrange details with the Englishman he was terribly surprised at the serious consequences of what he had deemed a most natural remark. He offered to apologize, and begged them to remember that he knew nothing of German customs and had believed himself in the right But the seconds declared their friend would accept no apology, and they even hinted that the Englishman had probably been told that his opponent was a first-rate fencer, the pride of Heidelberg. 

Of course when matters took this turn, the Englishman spoke in a very different tone, and everything was arranged for a duel with pistols, he being no fencer. He spent a dreadful night, because he was told that the young student was in such a foaming rage that his only desire was to see his opponent lie dead on the ground. The Englishman did all in his power to have the matter arranged, but be did not succeed, and on his way to the trysting-place he said to his seconds: “It is a dreadful shame that I should have to kill this young man because he does not know the proper use of his knife and fork. Still it would be just as unfair to let him kill me.” 

The Englishman intended firing in the air if he had the second shot, but chance was averse to him. He had the right to shoot first —the aim was deadly; the young Teuton fell without a groan. Next day the Englishman traveled to the town where his victim’s widowed mother lived, and at the end of a two hours’ conversation, he convinced her of his sincere regret and his wish to serve her. She admitted that her son had not died through his fault, but through the mistaken notions of honor current among the youth of Germany.— Vienna Correspondent, London Times, 1883

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Diplomacy and Cads

The dapper, Spencer Eddy, spent 15 years working his way up in the U.S. diplomatic service and was briefly the Minister to Argentina (1908-1909), followed by Romania (1909), when he resigned due to his wife’s poor health. What a pity that in his many lofty positions, he never learned that publicly spreading gossip about others was considered poor manners.
—Public domain photo 

Who is the Real Cad?

That brilliant light of diplomacy, Spencer Eddy, who married a granddaughter of the late Claus Spreckels of San Francisco, is said by the New York Globe to be telling a story of the horrible experience he went through when a San Francisco friend ate peas with his knife at a London dinner. Eddy is a Chicagoan, and his story is amusing to Californians, for when Chicago’s millionaires were still serving head cheese for dessert and pigs-feet for breakfast, Californians were returning from European tours where they were indistinguishable from other civilized beings by their table manners, except that Californians conducted themselves at the table better than the average Europeans. 

No Californian abroad has ever behaved in the way British cads have in this country, and several of the cads had titles, too. Nor does it become a New York paper to discuss crudity of table manners, for the public restaurants there give an opportunity for comparison that puts the average Gothamite in the ultra ill-bred class. Here is another point of view. 

Even if Eddy's San Francisco friend did commit the horrible faux pas of eating peas with his knife, he must have been a decent fellow—too decent to have told tales about Eddy, had Eddy, for example, come to California and made a fool of himself, as many such persons do, in discussing local affairs and history. If Eddy told the story credited to him by the New York Globe, it is Eddy who is the boor and the cad for decrying his guest, and not the mythical San Franciscan. — San Francisco Call, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Knife Etiquette is Contrary to Mission

“I have seen, I say, the Hereditary Princess of Potzausend - Donnerwetter (that serenely beautiful woman), use her knife in lieu of a fork or spoon; I have seen her almost swallow it, by Jove! Like Ramon Samee, the Indian juggler. And I did not blench. Did my estimation of the Princess diminish? No, lovely Amelia! It is not snobbish of persons of rank or of any other nation to employ their knives in the manner alluded to.” 

The Table Knife’s Mission... 

or 

First Aid to Hungry Men

After recounting his sad estrangement from Mrs. Marrowfat, following the “atrocious’’ consumption of a dish of peas with his knife, the great historian of the snobs goes on to explain as follows, that snobbery is a purely relative thing that, in short, what is beastly bad manners in a mere English gentleman is quite proper, not to say commendable, in persons of rank and riches, particularly of other nationalities: 

“I have seen, I say, the Hereditary Princess of Potzausend - Donnerwetter (that serenely beautiful woman), use her knife in lieu of a fork or spoon; I have seen her almost swallow it, by Jove! Like Ramon Samee, the Indian juggler. And I did not blench. Did my estimation of the Princess diminish? No, lovely Amelia! It is not snobbish of persons of rank or of any other nation to employ their knives in the manner alluded to.” 

The recalling of this dramatic episode in the history of table manners is suggested by the crusade started by a metropolitan paper of the Effete East in favor of a return to knife-eating. The practice is, it declares, harmless; shows personal bravery and steadiness of hand; gives the onlooker a saluibrious thrill, and offends no one but the “social purist.” Wherefore, then, should it be condemned; and banished from the table of the well-to-do? 

Obviously there is no reason for the rule now, but custom and habit born of an empiric mandate laid down by some past archon of the table. It may have arisen in days when but one knife was provided for each diner, and this was dipped, as occasion demanded, in the single butter plate at the center of the table. Under such conditions, there was something to be said from a sanitary point of view against using one’s knife as a shovel. 

But nowadays, when a separate set of tools is provided for every particular gustatory operation; when the soup, fish, meats, vegetables, salads, pie, and other edibles are ladled, spitted and anatomized by a case of instruments almost as varied and numerous as those used by a surgeon in short, the tools of individual feeding not only never touch the food consumed by others, but are carefully kept from contact with the preceding and succeeding courses, the taboo on knife eating seems absurd. It appears to us that individual preference and convenience should be allowed to determine the question. 

Persons dexterous enough safely to eat with their knives and finding this method of loading more expeditious than that prescribed by custom, should be at liberty to do so without any implication of vulgarity or ill-breeding. The question is one of expedience and convenience—nothing more. Most of us have seen knife eating in all its unique processes in the restaurants about town, and while most of us have always tried to adhere to the correct table manners our mothers so carefully taught us, really it is a source of no little interest and amusement to watch some industrious individual at the other table over yonder shamelessly working away with his knife, while the fork rests idly in the other hand. However, let that individual always be seen over yonder at the other table.— Sacramento Union, 1908

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

How Forks Replaced Knives

The fork was originally, and up to very modern times, used only to hold meat and other pieces of food, while the knife was cutting them. The putting of it into the mouth instead of the knife was only an afterthought, due probably to the unclean appearance of the knife blade after it had been used to shovel into the mouth, gravies, egg yolks, acids, etc... – Photo by site editor Maura J. Graber

Questioning the Fork: 

The Origins of This Very Useful Article and Why it Replaced Eating From Knives

One of those heterodox fellows, who may be found to question everything, asks upon what  sound principle is the law founded that forbids the putting of the knife into the mouth in eating. Why should a plate of steel, he asks, be interdicted from an office that the same steel, bifurcated, trifurcated or quadrafurcated, may properly perform? There is no objection to be made on the score of cutting one’s mouth, for in all ages of the past, when everybody ate with the knife, nobody ever cut his mouth. This heretic asserts that a certain consistency of food can be ‘‘hoisted,” as a western man would say, much more readily by a knife than by a fork. Of course, you can get the bulk of a mashed potato or turnip by dexterously fishing with a fork, but you can do it much neater and in better time with a knife, he continues; and thru the knife will secure all the gravy, which is mostly sifted out by the operation of the fork, and one thus loses the richest part of the meal. 

It is a matter of history that knives played an important part in domestic life long before forks were invented, and that when first the latter implements appeared, it was considered a mark of effeminacy or ultra refinement to use them. To such a degree was this prejudice against them indulged in France, that in the Sixteenth century the use of forks was considered sinful in monasteries, and the monks split up into two parties on the question. Forks originally came into use to save the fingers from soiling, and Italy was the first place where they were used. Ben Jonson writes of “the laudable use of forks brought into custom here as they are in Italy, to the sparing of napkins.” Some time later, a writer praises the King of Hungary for eating without a fork without soiling his clothes. An old writer explains why the Italian used the fork by saying that he could not “endure to have his dish touched with his fingers, seeing that all men's fingers are not clean alike.” 

But the fork was originally, and up to very modern times, used only to hold meat and other pieces of food, while the knife was cutting them. The putting of it into the mouth instead of the knife was only an afterthought, due probably to the unclean appearance of the knife blade after it had been used to shovel into the mouth, gravies, egg yolks, acids, etc... For this reason, silver forks were made; they are cleaner than iron and steel forks. Every step, then, from the original use of the fork as a substitute for the fingers, to its more extended use a substitute for the knife, together with the employment of silver in place of iron, has been dictated by cleanliness. —Good Housekeeping, 1880

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Eating from Knives

A 19th century fork and knife set, featuring steel tines on the fork and a wide, dull and flat steel knife blade. Many who were unfamiliar with utensils and their expected dining usage, found this type of knife blade ideal for not just cutting with, but eating from.

Unlike contemporary table knives, those of the 18th and 19th century had dull and wide, flat blades. Usually they were steel. Many who were unfamiliar with utensils and their expected dining usage, found the knives ideal for not just cutting with, but for eating from. By the mid-1800’s, etiquette books encouraged diners to stop the practice of eating their food from their knives. As etiquette books are often ignored, small numbers of several generations continued the practice. 

A most popular food with which to show off one’s knife dining skills was peas. Many people practiced lining peas carefully upon a steel knife blade, to “pour” into their mouths, much to the chagrin of spouses and parents. A few uncouth, but industrious people even invented and designed special, “pea knives.” It took, as gentle reminders, repeated news and magazine articles over the years to finally get the practice all but abandoned. Two such articles are below:

Eating With a Knife is Not Insanity

LOS ANGELES, Mar. 4 (AP)—Eating with a knife is not insanity. Mrs. Kathryn Brown contended it was, in contesting the will of her sister, Mrs. Margaret Dillon, who left her $25,000 estate to her 12-year-old grand niece, Margaret Keating, of New York. Mrs. Brown testified Mrs. Dillon, although well reared, had been eating with a knife and suffered from a delusion that she was an experienced driver, despite the fact that she owned no car. A superior court jury yesterday found Mrs. Dillon was not insane and upheld the terms of her will. — San Pedro Pilot News, 1931

Gossip of Railwayman

Frederick Shoup of the Passenger Department of the Southern Pacific is a man of many parts. He is not only said to be good looking, but has so persuasive a tongue that it would enable him to sell gold bricks, even to Hetty Green. “Etiquette and table manners are all based on common sense,” remarked Frederick to Charles Burkhalter and John Ross, with whom he was dining at Fresno. “For instance, the reason why a man does not eat with his knife is because he is afraid of cutting his lips.”  “Well, that is true,” replied Burkhalter, as he lifted the duck on which Shoup was feasting from Fred’s plate to his own.  “You see how simple it is.” Shoup rambled on, “Why don't we use a fork for our, soup? Why? Because the fork I could not scoop up enough of the soup.” “Well that is an idea,” observed John Ross, the great chocolate expert, as he appropriated Fred’s vegetables. “Everything is based on common sense,” continued the orator. “Why do we have napkins?” “Why?” asked Burkhalter, as he emptied Fred’s pint of Chianti. “To remove the stains of food from our fingers and mouths.” “Well, are you through talking?” said Burkhalter. “It is time to get to work.” “Work,” shouted Shoup, “why, man, I have had nothing to eat.” — San Francisco Call, 1908

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Dining Etiquette in Legal Decision

His claim was defeated on the ground that it was a breach of etiquette for him to eat with a knife. 

Taught Him a Lesson

 

Etiquette is responsible for a queer legal decision. A traveler on a German railway train attempted to eat a lunch, and while in the act of conveying food to his mouth, the train stopped suddenly and his cheek was badly cut on the edge of the knife he was using. The man sued the company for damages, but his claim was defeated on the ground that it was a breach of etiquette for him to eat with a knife. The court recited unto him the chestnut that, “A man cannot take advantage of his own wrong.” —Chicago Times, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tales of Table Manners of Old

“I saw a fellow eating with his knife. A few years ago any man might have eaten with his knife and no one would have cared. But manners are better than they used to be... He was an elderly man and evidently had learned his manners in the old days.”

“In a restaurant of the lower middle class” said an epicure, “I saw a fellow eating with his knife. A few years ago any man might have eaten with his knife and no one would have cared. But manners are better than they used to be, and this man's proceedings attracted attention all over the room. He was an elderly man and evidently had learned his manners in the old days.

“By the way, are children still taught to leave the last piece of bread or cake for ‘Manners?’ In Charles Leland's child's book, ‘Johnnykin and the Goblins,’ Mr. Manners appears—a thin, cadaverous gentleman in evening clothes, who is supported by what the children leave for him in the dish. 

“Do you still cut off the tip of the boiled tongue before you begin to serve the tongue?” I don't know why that used to be done. Perhaps as a sacrifice to the gods? I think that most of the tongues nowadays come in cans, so that perhaps the tips cannot he cut off as of old. – San Diego Union and Daily Bee, 1895

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Teacher Fired Over Table Manners

Ate with His Knife — Picked Teeth with a Fork — Charge is Made

Proprietor of School Declares Table Manners of Teacher Confounded Etiquette

LOS ANGELES, June 15.—Because it is claimed he ate with a knife and picked teeth with a fork and was disloyal to the school, it was alleged by T. O. Adams, proprietor of the Yale English and Classical School, that Homer Scott, an Instructor in the school, should not collect $150.00 due him on a contract as teacher. The case was heard by Justice Reeves yesterday. 

Many boys were brought into court as witnesses to prove that Mr. Scott was not properly qualified as an Instructor. Scott alleged he was discharged before the end of the term and under the terms of his contract, the money for his services for the entire term of school was due. The case was taken under advisement. — Chico Record, June 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Moral Teaching

Eating food from his knife... “It is horrid and vulgar and all that, of course, to put one's knife between one's lips, but put it there and keep it there, say I, to nil eternity, rather than give room to scornful words and bits of scandal.”

A Victorian Argument for Teaching Morality as Equally as Manners

Did you ever stop to think that if one-half the anxiety expended in teaching a child not to eat with its knife were directed toward teaching it to be charitable and pure, truthful and sweet hearted the world would be a better inn to tarry at? It is horrid and vulgar and all that, of course, to put one's knife between one's lips, but put it there and keep it there, say I, to nil eternity, rather than give room to scornful words and bits of scandal. As for me, I shall grow gray headed perhaps, and decrepit if the Lord spares me; my children's children shall rise up and call me grandmother, the friends of my youth shall wane also as wanes the harvest moon, but even down to and through the palsy of life's decline I shall protect my right to take up a bit of elusive potato with whatever utensil it seemeth easiest to avail myself of. 

I do not think the angel who guards the celestial gate will stop to ask no much whether we used our knives in eating as whether we slashed and stabbed at each other with weapons of scandal and indiscriminating hate. There will be worse things charged against us, I am thinking, than the breach of social amenities or the failure in conventional usages. The question propounded will take hold of deeper matters, and our entrance into the great company of the elect shall depend on graver issues. So let us spend less time in polishing the externals; let us look to it that not only the fabric of the character we weave grows glistening and white, but also that the texture is firm and there are no dropped stitches and shoddy warp for the light of eternity to reveal.—Chicago Herald, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia