Full Time Manners Teacher for School

Students were taught more than common courtesy — “What it all boils down to is attitude ... the right attitude ... more respect,” says Mrs. Hogan, the manners teacher. Because more mothers are working today and the lifestyle is faster paced, manners may not be getting as much attention as they once did, Mrs. Hogan said. The curriculum varied from class to class and ranges from table manners to how to react “if you come across a person with no legs,” Mrs. Hogan says. How should one react? “Physically, it makes him different,” Mrs. Hogan says to her students. “But, inside, he is just like you. He has feelings.”

Poor School has Full-Time Teacher of Good Manners

LIBERTY, Okla. (AP) This tiny community has one of the poorest schools in the whole state, but it has a full time teacher who does nothing but teach the children good manners. It was the idea of Leroy Taylor, the school principal for 18 years, who says there is “a national mood a national need for more respect.” The federal Department of Health, Education and Welfare put up $16,000, through the Oklahoma Department of Education, to hire a manners teacher this fall for Liberty's 210 school children and to buy the necessary supplies. If an evaluation to be made this spring shows the program is worthwhile, it could be funded for two more years. Taylor has no doubts that it will. 

“It, potentially, is the finest program we have ever had here,” he said in an interview this week. “It's not like a good calculus course. It can involve every child it just has to. From the most gifted to the one with the least ability, they all can prosper from it.” Most of the parents of Liberty's students work in nearby Fort Smith, Ark. In terms of taxable property, the school district is the second poorest in Oklahoma. So far, there has been no criticism from parents, educators said. Instead, there have been reports the program is working. For instance, first grader James Allsup surprised his mother by quietly pulling back a chair for his fifth-grade sister at a hamburger dinner. Noticing a bit of food at the corner of his sister's mouth, James twirled his napkin into a point, leaned over and deftly dabbed it away. 

“What it all boils down to is attitude ... the right attitude ... more respect,” says Ann Hogan, the manners teacher. Because more mothers are working today and the lifestyle is faster paced, manners may not be getting as much attention as they once did, Mrs. Hogan said. The Liberty curriculum varies from class to class and ranges from table manners to how to react “if you come across a person with no legs,” Mrs. Hogan says. How should one react? “Physically, it makes him different,” Mrs. Hogan says to her students. “But, inside, he is just like you. He has feelings.” The program deals with a variety of topics including how to accept compliments and criticism, bragging and boasting, introductions, and proper dress and conduct, whether on the playground, on a first date or at a funeral. — 1979

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia

How Etiquette Alleviates Negativity

In today's society, many people realize that etiquette does not imply white gloves, children curtsying, and women passing first through every door. But what does not change is the ever-present need for courtesy, respect, and mindfulness of the needs of others.

These are conscious choices individuals must make. Having systems of etiquette in place, in mind and habit, are incredibly helpful. Situations that put you in the company of others are sometimes challenged by technology, noise, or others’ improprieties.

This can be stressful. Especially when there is a lot of negativity “out there” whether displayed via attitude (disagreeable, pessimistic, harsh) or action (rude, uncooperative, unhelpful).

“The word etiquette literally means ‘ticket’ or ‘card,’ and refers to the ancient custom of a monarch setting forth ceremonial rules and regulations to be observed by members of the court. As far back as Anglo-Saxon times, consideration for others, as well as observance of a monarch’s rules, was part of etiquette, as demonstrated in the epic poem “Beowulf,” written around A.D. 700, when Queen Wealtheow, ‘mindful of etiquette,’ offered the goblet first to the kind, then to the courtiers, and finally to herself. And through the centuries the observance of such consideration has remained unquestioned.” –The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette by Nancy Tuckerman, Nancy Dunnan

How Does Etiquette Alleviate Negativity?

How is etiquette your ticket out of negativity? Employing etiquette practices provides an orderliness to life, thus regularizing your own habits. Politeness is always positive. So is courtesy and respect.

Replacing negative habits - like the attitude and action examples above - with the positive habits of etiquette, and being consistently mindful to do so, is part of being etiquette-ful. Etiquette is the language of manners and, though both what is mannerly and what is etiquetteful can change, the principles behind both, do not.

Respect and courtesy are built upon the positive, the embracing of a positive world view, one in which change is realized as a constant and getting along with others is valued daily.

Situations in life are always changing. Asking yourself, “What’s the etiquetteful thing to do here?” is asking what is the most respectful and courteous thing to do.

It may mean that learning about etiquette rules for dining, for example, would be a very comforting thing to do. Comfort leads to confidence and knowledge leads to know-how. This naturally comes into play when you take the time to be mindful of the guidelines for a given social situation.

Mindful = Etiquette-ful

Being etiquetteful means that a person never thinks in extremes. It’s the opposite of what negativity can lead a person to. It is situation specific. It is exclusively in the present moment. It is asking what you should or should not do now. Etiquette is now-oriented. Thus, etiquette is not all-or-nothing. It is never all about you, which is what negative thinking is.

Etiquette is about helping others feel good in certain situations. When you help another feel good by not pointing out a flaw, or welcoming them by extending your hand in an etiquette-ful handshake, you will naturally feel better yourself. And you’ve put some positivity into someone else’s world.

Being respectful and being cheerful are habits that can be cultivated. Just like being: contented, patient, forgiving, compassionate, modest, thoughtful, charitable, honest, truthful, and determined. All are a part of what the “How to’s” of etiquette pertain to.

Social changes, such as the recognition of the equality of women, have led to changes in what’s proper and recognized as courteous behavior. When the first person who arrives at a door knows it’s proper to open and hold the door for the next person(s) it makes what could be a cumbersome situation feel easy and seamless.

Habits of complaining, of being overly dramatic, come from a source of negativity. Etiquette doesn’t allow for complaining, and being overly dramatic limits the time you can spend getting to know someone else by practicing good listening habits.

The bottom line is: when you are positive and etiquetteful, there is simply no room for negative thoughts, attitudes, or actions.

Which will you choose?

Meet our newest contributor, Candace Smith... A retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Business Etiquette Advice

Attitude is important. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

Making Contacts 

Determine the type of job you want. Talk to your friends. What do they do? Discuss it with your instructors. Do research reading. What kind of a firm do you want to work in? Don't rely on your friends to get you a job. Use business associates for contacts. Use agencies. If you must make a "cold" contact, plan your approach. 

Attitude Is Important 

Don't be a clock-watcher. Try to do more than is asked of you. Make an effort to familiarize yourself with terms needed in office use. Admit mistakes. Think of your job as a stepping-stone to a better job. A job is what you make it. Sit and stagnate or develop it and in so doing advance yourself. You do yourself a favor by making yourself a better-than-average employee. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

You and the Business World 

Appearance gives color to an office. Cleanliness and neatness are more important than expensive clothes. Extreme lines and bright colors are distracting in an office. Wear simple, well-pressed clothes —no bobby socks or excessive jewelry. Give special attention to hair and hands. 

Habits 

Be on time. Gum chewing and nibbling are not allowed. Don't slouch. Avoid mannerisms—hair twisting, and leg winding. Use the office phone in emergency only. Smile, be pleasant. Don't complain. Listen, do not talk too much. 

Policy 

Keep private life to yourself. Avoid office politics and religious discussions. Keep business life and recreation separate. Don't be interested in other people's work at the office. – The Corsair, Volume 17, 1945

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia