Japanese Etiquette Tips

Don’t blow your nose in public in Japan, don’t jaywalk and don’t litter.

Some helpful tips on Japanese etiquette

As an expat, I can confirm that life in Japan takes some getting used to. Several customs are unique to the island nation, and there are more than enough social nuances and contexts to follow. Home life also takes some adjusting as apartments are arranged somewhat differently than back home.

Despite being a great place to live, anyone moving to Japan can expect to commit more than a few faux pas. The worst I was ever guilty of occurred about six months into my time here.

At the time, my Japanese instructor graciously organized for me to attend a tea ceremony at her friend's house. The individual was a certified tea ceremony teacher and a very nice and gentle lady. We arrived at her countryside home and found everything prepared for our visit. Although there were about five of us partaking, as the only non-Japanese participant, I was the guest of honor.

Sure enough, the tea ceremony teacher performed a beautiful ceremony and offered everyone tea. When finished, I was singled out to decide whether or not the group would have refills. I said OK, everyone drank, and again I was asked if we should have more. It seemed like everyone was still socializing, so again I said OK.

Overall, I thought nothing of it. However, on the ride home, my Japanese instructor told me in an admonishing tone that we had likely drunk over 10,000 yen worth of tea. As a coffee-drinking American, I was unaware that high-quality tea could reach such astronomical prices. Furthermore, the experience made it clear that Japanese etiquette would prevent others from “embarrassingly” pulling me aside to stop me from making such a fool of myself. Live and learn.

12 behaviors to avoid

Having said my peace, I figure it'd be worthwhile to study up on Japanese manners and etiquette. Fortunately, YouTuber Abroad in Japan has covered the issue in several videos to keep others from similarly embarrassing themselves.

Abroad in Japan begins by admitting there are a lot of things to learn when it comes to etiquette in Japan. Understandably, it takes a lot of time before things solidify completely.

In a video, the vlogger points out that eating and walking is frowned upon in Japan. Residents prize orderliness and clean streets, so a pedestrian dropping crumbs is no good. Most people eating in public finish their snack while standing in front of the business where they bought it before moving on.

While on the topic of food, chopsticks are also something to be mindful of. More specifically, visitors should refrain from standing the utensil upright in rice or passing bits of food from chopsticks to chopsticks. These actions are traditionally practiced at cremations, and their application elsewhere is disconcerting, to say the least. On the positive side, however, tipping is not a part of the dining culture in Japan.

Abroad in Japan also notes how commuting in Japan is a little different than back home. Trains, for example, have the atmosphere of a library and are very quiet. Naturally, talking loudly on cell phones is discouraged, and many reminders are posted throughout train cars.

Abroad in Japan goes on to note a few more manners to keep in mind.

• Treat business cards with respect
• Don’t blow your nose in public
• Limit physical contact
• Try not to be opinionated
• Take off your shoes before entering a house
• Don’t litter
• Wait for the light, don’t jaywalk
• Don’t worry about making mistakes

Nightlife Tips and Tricks

While that covers the everyday stuff, Japanese nightlife is another beast. Fortunately, Abroad in Japan has also covered the issue:

First things first, while pub crawling, any patron is likely to be confronted with menus covered in Japanese and no pictures. At times like this, asking "osusume wa nan desu ka?" ("What do you recommend") is an easy go-to move. Staff will be happy to suggest several items.

Another tip is to take advantage of the hand towel provided at most restaurants throughout the meal. They are pleasant to use and a lifesaver when handling greasy food late at night. Be prepared to pay a seating charge at some restaurants, an unfortunately unavoidable part of eating out in the country. A final thing to be aware of is that Japan is still largely a cash-based society. This means that at pubs and bars, in particular, credit cards are not usually accepted. So be sure to have cash ready, although, again, there is no need to tip. – Taken from an article by Luke Mahoney, Japan Times, 2020

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Japan’s Manners Steady Even in Crisis

The worst earthquake in Japan’s recorded history left a trail of blazing buildings, inundated coastal communities, wrecked roadways and potentially unstable nuclear power plants. But it barely made a dent in the implacably Japanese trait of exhibiting concern for others even in the worst of circumstances. – Manners and politeness are so important and ingrained in Japanese culture, that they start teaching children healthy social skills early on in their schools.

“Japan’s massive earthquake in 2011 had little effect on the culture’s impeccable manners.” – The world noticed, and this article was just one of many published at that time, highlighting Japanese society’s grace under pressure.

Reporting from Tokyo — She was elderly and alone, injured and in pain. When the massive earthquake struck, a heavy bookshelf toppled onto Hiroko Yamashita, pinning her down and shattering her ankle.

When paramedics finally reached her, agonizing hours later, Yamashita did what she said any “normal” person would do, her son-in-law recounted later: She apologized to them for the inconvenience, and asked if there weren’t others they should be attending to first.

The worst earthquake in Japan’s recorded history left a trail of blazing buildings, inundated coastal communities, wrecked roadways and potentially unstable nuclear power plants. But it barely made a dent in the implacably Japanese trait of exhibiting concern for others even in the worst of circumstances.

The Japanese language is full of ritual apologies, uttered so often as to become almost meaningless: I am about to make a nuisance of myself — please excuse me! Some of this is a matter of mere formality. But at a time of crisis, such politesse can be the glue that holds the country together.

Even though Friday’s magnitude 8.9 quake was shocking and discombobulating, few would imagine burdening a stranger with their anxieties.

On a long flight to Tokyo, amid uncertainty almost until the last minute over whether the plane would actually be allowed to land at the capital’s airport, a fifty-something businessman questioned a seat-mate closely about plans and contingencies: Where are you staying? Why there? Well, the next neighborhood over is nicer. Is someone meeting you, taking care of you?

Only at the tail end of a nine-hour flight did he confide, almost as an abashed aside, that a close relative was missing, and that he would be trying to make his way north, into the tsunami-inundation zone, to determine her fate. He fiddled with his seatbelt, looked around distractedly, and all but coughed out his doubt that he would find her alive.

Some resent the stifling conformity that can accompany social mores such as these. Even in modern-day Japan, speaking one’s mind or making an overt demand can lead to ostracization. Young people, in particular, sometimes feel shackled by rigid conventions of behavior that can seem as arcane as a Kabuki drama.

But in a country where people with a case of the sniffles wear surgical masks in public to avoid infecting anyone, most people seemed determined not to let their anxieties show. That particularly included those attending to customers. “I am trying hard not to let people see how scared I am,” said Masaki Tajima, a hotel clerk in Utsunomiya, north of Tokyo.

Closer to the quake zone, there were cracks in the studied courtesy. At a gas station in Koriyama, about 130 miles north of Tokyo, some customers become anxious and agitated as fuel ran short, attendants said. Kenji Sato, an attendant of 12 years, recited apologies, trying to soothe people. “Sorry, no more gas, very sorry,” he intoned.

Elsewhere, though, the ingrained instinct for orderliness and calm has kept its hold even amid difficult moments. In Tokyo and its suburbs, the quake knocked out much of the usually clockwork-reliable public-transportation system. Yet when trains finally appeared on a few crucial routes, the queue was as orderly as on any mundane commuting day.

Once aboard, people sat quietly, gazing at their cellphones in hope of an elusive signal. “It would be uncivilized to try to push and shove, and what good would it do anyway?” said Kojo Saeseki, helping his wife onto a crowded train on the city’s outskirts. In the city itself, those aboard a nearly empty subway car looked surprised and discomfited when they were asked what had happened to them the day before, but if pressed, they would tell their stories: being trapped in an elevator for hours, or crouching under a desk in a tall building as it swayed like a ship at sea, or seeing a thick pane of safety glass suddenly spider-webbing cracks.

Some were still telling their stories, haltingly, when the train pulled into a station where a small gap presented itself between the door and the platform. And everyone in the car called out to a departing passenger: Kiotsukete! — Be careful! — By Laura King, Los Angeles Times, March 14, 2014 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Social Conduct in Japan

Don’t pass food from chopstick to chopstick (this gesture is reminiscent of a traditional Buddhist funeral, when the bones of the deceased are passed between ceremonial chopsticks of the family members).

 Basic Etiquette Tips For Japan

When traveling or moving to a completely new country, it is expected that you might commit a social faux pas or two. But with some experience and being reminded that "this simply isn’t done here” by the locals, you eventually learn what the acceptable behavior is.

In Japan, as with anywhere else, there are social rules of conduct that would benefit you to follow. The only thing is, the Japanese tend to be a little shy when confronting people about their behavior. In other words, you may never know that you are offending people, as it is possible that no one will tell you. So, here are the top five etiquette mistakes to avoid when in Japan.

Eating or drinking on trains

Generally speaking, people don’t eat while walking on the street or in crowded commuter trains. It’s not necessarily rude, but it does look a little shabby and might annoy others. However, on the shinkansen (bullet trains) and on planes where food is served, it’s fine to consume your own food and drinks.

Speaking in a loud voice on trains

Another thing that annoys people is speaking in a loud voice on trains and other public transportation. Using your phone on a train is a definite no-no. It’s common for people to get off at the next stop to take a call rather than face the collective ire of their fellow commuters.

Japanese people tend to be less vocal and expressive when in public compared with some of their western counterparts, so please keep it down. Yes, I’m talking to you, you loud foreigner.

Public displays of affection

Although this is changing with the younger generation, the Japanese tend to be a little conservative when it comes to physical contact or displaying affection in public.

Friends don’t usually kiss or hug when meeting, and shaking hands is not so common. Things tend to loosen up after drinking and singing karaoke with your friends and colleagues. However, at first, being low-key is the thing when meeting new people.

Incorrect chopstick etiquette

Here are some chopstick etiquette dos and don’ts:

1. Do place your chopstick on the chopstick rest when you are not eating.
2. Do use your chopsticks as much as possible and avoid using your fingers.
3. Don’t fiddle or play with your chopsticks.
4. Don’t pass food from chopstick to chopstick (this gesture is reminiscent of a traditional Buddhist funeral, when the bones of the deceased are passed between ceremonial chopsticks of the family members).
5. Don’t stick your chopsticks vertically in your rice (again, this reminds people of burning incense for the deceased).

Not separating your trash properly

If there is one thing that raises the blood pressure of your poor suffering neighbors the most, it is (gasp!) not separating your trash correctly. In Japan, there are very specific and strict rules about this. Failure to comply might result in passive-aggressive notes left on your front door, or your trash being returned to your doorstep. Plastics, burnable and non-burnable trash have to be properly sorted, inserted into the right garbage cans, and thrown out on the right day. Your apartment building will usually distribute information on how to sort and throw out your trash. It is advisable to read and remember this to avoid problems with your neighbors.

This is, of course, not an exhaustive etiquette list for Japan. There are plenty of other etiquette points, such as being punctual, never making excuses, and not pouring your own beer at a party. However, as with anywhere you travel, a little awareness, common sense and decency toward your fellow human beings are key.

If you do happen to put your foot in your mouth, then check out our next article, which will teach you how to apologize in Japanese (perhaps the single most important social skill in Japan). Good luck! — Asuka Naito, Savvy Tokyo, 2021

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia