Whatever Happened to Manners?

Manners ... should we be more old school? — Perhaps nowhere is more prone to the evidence of gross bad manners than on internet forums, where some think it is open season on being unnecessarily rude and disrespectful to people whose opinions they take disagree with.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Spitters, swearers, armrest hoggers and interrupters be warned: there is a growing gang of radicals coming after you.

Taking aim at what he sees as the demise of good manners, demographer Bernard Salt and his increasing army of followers want to eradicate rudeness.

Affronted by bad manners at business functions Mr. Salt recently formed a Facebook group called the Society for Normal People as a place where people "who feel aggrieved by the bad manners of others can publicly, but ever so politely express displeasure".

He has attracted over 2000 people mad about manners.

"We are a group of normal people and we intend taking over the world with our radical ideas of manners and respect for everyone," Mr Salt said.

"This all flowed from an article I wrote maybe two months ago, where I said I was sick of ... people not returning phone calls, not returning emails, people who hog the armrest on a plane.

"People who go to functions and they talk to each other in tight little circles, so that if you don't know anyone you're effectively excluded.

"Have you ever felt that when you come away from an event like that and you think: 'Am I the only normal person in the world that sees that rudeness?"'

Among the group's pet peeves are people who swear, spit, interrupt others or push their shopping trolleys straight down the middle of a supermarket aisle, he said.

Mr. Salt said he blamed bad manners on people being brought up to think only of themselves.

"I think we are now a society of individuals - we all think we're special, we're all unique.

"We're being told we're special and unique by parents, by teachers, by employers and all of a sudden it's all about us, it's all about me."

Perhaps nowhere is more prone to the evidence of gross bad manners than on internet forums, where some think it is open season on being unnecessarily rude and disrespectful to people whose opinions they take disagree with.

Etiquette queen June Dally-Watkins said it is websites like Facebook and Twitter that are contributing to a demise in manners.

"I think people spend too much time on Facebook and their mobile phones, just pressing buttons," Ms Dally-Watkins said.

"They're losing touch with human beings and they're losing their personality and their charm.

"The greatest part of good manners is being kind and respectful to other human beings."

"Good manners and correct etiquette are all about being courteous and thoughtful and considerate to other people."

Her tips for improving manners included saying "thank you", moving aside to let others through and being aware of other people's feelings.

Ms Dally-Watkins also felt strongly about people who wear sunglasses during conversations.

"When you speak to people you look them in the eye. Don't talk with sunglasses on because our eyes are the window to the soul."

Sydney University's Associate Professor Penny Russell, the author of Savage or Civilised? Manners in Colonial Australia, said manners were once very elaborate rules that helped people define what class they belonged to.

In the 19th century etiquette was something you could read up on, but navigating manners is a little more complex in modern society.

"We do live in so much more of a multicultural society today and also we travel so much more, we belong in a global culture, which means ... being aware of the fact that there are enormous differences across ethnic and social groups about what constitutes good manners.

"So I think we're all aware we can all break rules that we don't even know about in the eyes of other people.

"In the 19th century there was a particular type of rudeness that was 'you should all behave as I do'.

"Now we're required to have a different level of courtesy that is ... how to be respectful of difference rather than to judge people by our own rules."

Etiquette books in the 19th century used to speak of the importance of both good form and good feeling in social settings and the same principle applies today, she said.

"I think it's the most important thing.

"When people launch into tirades about other people's bad manners, when they get personal about it, I think probably the rudest thing that you can do is to point out somebody's else's faults in a way that is designed to expose them as, in some way, inferior or inadequate or as coming from the wrong class." — Sydney Morning Herald, 2011

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

7 Australian Café Etiquette Tips

According to the National Coffee Association, “Coffee grown worldwide can trace its heritage back centuries to the ancient coffee forests on the Ethiopian plateau. There, legend says the goat herder Kaldi first discovered the potential of these beloved beans. The story goes that that Kaldi discovered coffee after he noticed that after eating the berries from a certain tree, his goats became so energetic that they did not want to sleep at night. Kaldi reported his findings to the abbot of the local monastery, who made a drink with the berries and found that it kept him alert through the long hours of evening prayer. The abbot shared his discovery with the other monks at the monastery, and knowledge of the energizing berries began to spread. As word moved east and coffee reached the Arabian peninsula, it began a journey which would bring these beans across the globe.”

The drinking and cultivation of coffee has a relatively short history in Australia. Coffee landed on the Australian shores from 1788 on the first fleet from abroad. It has been said that during the first fleet’s voyage, it made a stop in Rio de Janeiro for plants and seedlings to grow in the new lands. 

At the time, coffee was often mixed with “fillers” like chicory and other food products such as mustard or eggshells, that had no business being in coffee. This changed with the the arrival of immigrants to Australia, notably after the second world war, who brought their own styles of coffee-making with them. Coffee became a well-known, popular beverage and cafés were set up to accommodate a little taste of Greece, Italy, Hungary, and the former Yugoslavia, from the 1950’s onwards. These immigrants  also brought with them different coffee grinders and coffee accoutrements, such as a briki, cafeteria or moka pot, that would fill the walls, piquing the interest of the consumers enjoying coffee and dessert with friends.

By the 1970’s and 1980’s, the hot trend was for Australians to sit at a café and eat newly discovered, and even exotic desserts and biscuits, with their coffee, may it be cappuccinos, lattes, flat whites, long blacks etc. Australian’s are frequently ranked as top consumers of coffee. Many of the original coffee houses in Melbourne, Sydney and Adelaide still stand, even with their original fit out, now making icons of the Australian coffee scene. Namely: Pellegrini's Espresso Barand Mediterranean Wholesalers.

Today, cafés are on the top of many Australians daily or weekly agenda. They will discuss where to get the best coffee, ask for recommendations from friends and family. Research on the web or good food guides. Interest in where the coffee beans are sourced is another subject. Many good cafes won't just choose a certain brand for their café, but also source coffee manufacturers that will provide coffee from growing origins such as Ethiopia, Central South America, and New Guinea and make that a feature of their café.

1. Savor your espresso the Italian way.... with a glass of water. The glass of sparkling water which often accompanies espresso is to cleanse your palate before, and after, a drink of your espresso. Due to its intensity and concentration, espresso can be a lot for the palate at once, so it is nice to have something to prepare the palate, then cleanse it, even during your cup, and at the very last of the cup.
2. If you wish to remain long after you receive your coffee to do work, check around you. How busy is the cafe? Good manners and common sense will help you to determine whether you should stay longer. Some cafes are made for you to stay and access their free wifi and facilities, some want you to eat, drink, then leave.
3. If you are working via phone or online or talking to friends make sure you use your 'indoor voice' so others are able to hear conversation.
4. Bring your best manners along with you, even though the café is a very casual establishment. Cafe's tend to be small and what you say and how your behave can be overhead and seen by the café owners, employees and all other customers.
5. If you are by yourself, choose the smallest table, rather than spreading out and taking up a table and potential earning for the café . 
6. Stop and think before plugging your electronic gear into the walls of the cafe. First and foremost, not all cafés may welcome your added contribution to their electric bill. Besides, you may not be insured if there is a surge and you certainly don’t want to be responsible for causing one. Cords can be a tripping hazard. If someone trips over any of your ‘office on the go,’ liability may fall onto your shoulders. It's good to ask and find out the cafe's policies in advance of pulling out your cords.
7. Cafés are a great place to meet people. Keep a smile with you and don't feel uncomfortable saying “hello” to others, while carrying on with your own day.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Australian Yacht Etiquette

According to a 2006 Guardian News article, former Royal butler, Paul Burrell, told of a Prince who made a memorable faux pas: “If you're faced with a regiment of cutlery and an army of glasses and you're unsure what to do, watch your host to see what they do. I was once on the Royal Yacht Britannia in the South Pacific and the Queen was hosting a dinner for a local Prince. Dessert was served. The Prince forgot to watch what the Queen did - instead, he popped the grapes into his finger bowl, then some cherries, then when the cream and sugar came out, he poured them in too, making a kind of fruit soup. I was standing behind the Queen looking horrified. He was about to raise the bowl to his lips to drink it when he looked at the Queen and realised he had made a terrible mistake. Not wanting to make him feel awkward, she picked up her finger bowl and took a sip. Now that's class.”

Summer is here in Australia, and so are the holidays.  When we think December holidays we think of lounging beside the cool water, swimming and boats.  For some, chartering a yacht is just the perfect time to reflect and unwind.  To make your yachting experience that much easier, these are the captain’s top tips:

 

Safety - It’s essential to listen to the safety briefing.  It really does save lives.  Give your captain and crew your attention at the bringing of your trip.
 
‘No Shoe’ Rule - When you board and cross the passerelle or gangway, there will be a basket for your shoes. The yacht’s beautiful teak wood boards are laid and highly polished.  Wearing anything other than shipshape, approved soft-soled deck shoes, can colour and scuff that beautiful wood. Heels will leave indentations and shoes generally will bring in dirt, dust, gum and even tar from roads and sidewalks.  This is your chance for your pedicures to shine, so don’t be afraid to show them off.
 
Service Staff - If you have boarded an American yacht, then the service staff have been trained to interact with clients.  European service staff will more likely give you the service you need and require, however they will keep more invisible and quiet. 
 
Planning Ahead - The company you have booked through will provide a chance for you to fill in a preference sheet.  This will list your likes and dislikes and what you plan to do while on-board.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Melbourne Cup

As the horses pass you see their flared nostrils, pushing out carbon dioxide into the air, chests pumping to get to the finishing line first! The crowd’s chatter has become hushed tones, as they intently watch like eagles, turning their heads from left to right in a 3200 metre race at 3:00 p.m. exactly, on the first Tuesday in November.  It is known as “the race that stops the nation.” It is also known as the Melbourne Cup.

Can you hear the thundering in the ground beneath you? You can actually feel the horses before they fly past you within seconds, kicking up the greenest, thickest grass with soil into the crowd. The jockeys with laser concentration, visualising what is ahead of them, each one wearing the colours of their company. 

As the horses pass you see their flared nostrils, pushing out carbon dioxide into the air, chests pumping to get to the finishing line first! The crowd’s chatter has become hushed tones, as they intently watch like eagles, turning their heads from left to right in a 3200 metre race at 3:00 p.m. exactly, on the first Tuesday in November.  It is known as “the race that stops the nation.” It is also known as the Melbourne Cup.


The Melbourne Cup, held at Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. The very first race was held in 1861. The race now has been shortened from over 3 kilometers to 3200 meters. It is a time where race meets all over the world and Australia, starting in Spring then coverage to this day and after. You will see Sheiks from the Middle East, Oligarchs from Russia, the rich, famous and invested from Asia, come to the most famous day in November.


Other than viewing the most beautiful horses on earth, you will undoubtedly get to enjoy the site of some truly beautiful spring dresses and hats. It is a time for men and women to show their creativeness, boldness and bravery, which puts into a spin, the local seamstresses, milliners, glove and shoe boutiques. It is the perfect excuse to dress bright, elegant and stand out with a milliner's hat or one that you have designed yourself. 

Of course, you can dress up anytime for a race meet all over Australia, however the major days that you would want to be seen are:

31st October - Victoria Derby Day

3rd November - Melbourne Cup Day

5th November - Kennedy Oaks Day

7th November - Stakes Day

In 1965, model Jean Shrimpton scandalized Australia with her poor manners and white mini skirt — In her memoir, Shrimpton recalled, “The day of the races was a hot one, so I didn't bother to wear any stockings. My legs were still brown from the summer, and as the dress was short it was hardly formal. I had no hat or gloves with me, for the very good reason that I owned neither. I went downstairs cheerfully from my hotel room, all regardless of what was to come.” According to reports at the time, there was a deafening silence in the members' lounge at Flemington when Shrimpton arrived two hours late, accompanied by her then-boyfriend, actor Terence Stamp. Her outfit defied all fashion protocol and was in stark contrast with the other race goers in their accepted, conservative race day attire. By wearing no hat, stockings or gloves, with the minidress, she became the target of catcalls from the men and jeers from the women. The kneeling cameramen surrounding her were all shooting upwards to make the avant-garde dress appear even shorter. 
— Photo source, public domain from ABC Jean Shrimpton.ogv

Dress Etiquette and Style Guide

The VRC (or the Victorian Racing Club) does have etiquette rules for how ladies and gents need to be attired, if one is to enter certain areas of the racecourse. If one is lucky enough to be invited to private and/or member sections, there are a few rules to remember:

Ladies - are required to dress suitable standards of dressing, maintain dignity inside the enclosure. Overseas guests are able to wear their formal national dress of origin. Not acceptable is jumpsuit/playsuits, midriff exposed or shorts.

Gentleman - are required to attire themselves with tailored slacks (tailored chino's), sports coat/blazer, tie and dress shoes. Overseas guests are able to wear their formal national dress of origin. During the hot summer months jackets can be a side item.

Children - are required to be neatly dressed and with an adult.

Member’s Guests - are required to adhere to the above dress requirements.

Fashions on the Field... It’s Competition Time!

This is an amazing sight that brings the colour, fashion and drama to the races. The competition is held in collaboration with VRC and Myer Department Store each year. 

Held for over 57 years, it was first created in an attempt to appeal to more women. What was a male dominated sport suddenly seemed ‘fashionable.’ The fashion competition is now a glam event, held over the four days, and brings in international designers, milliners, and global media attention, along with celebrity judges.

There are some that have made their name known just entering these competitions putting together a stunning outfit from shoes, outfit, hairstyle and hat.

The competition has four sections that attendees can compete in: Women's Racewear, Men's Racewear, an Emerging Designer Award, and a Millinery Award.

This is an amazing time in Melbourne. I hope to see you one day there.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Indigenous Australians

People may associate some terminology to periods of colonisation and assimilation, so do not use the words Aboriginals, Aborigine or Aborigines... “Some non-verbal communication cues (hand gestures, facial expressions etc.) used by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people have different meanings in the Western context. Be mindful that your own non-verbal communication will be observed and interpreted. For example, feelings of annoyance may be reflected by your body language and are likely to be noticed.” according to Queensland Health. Two distinct groups of Indigenous people live in Australia. One group is the Torres Strait Islanders, who come from the Torres Strait Islands north of Cape York in Queensland. The second group is the Aboriginal people, who come from all other parts of Australia.

Having been born and lived in Australia most of my life, we were taught that the Australian Aboriginals were the first to occupy and that was it.  Unfortunately, 35 years ago, we were not taught how to interact, understand their language or culture.  Today, going into classrooms now, we are better equipped and regularly have interactions with elders and now have cultural centres where we can better understand their connections to land and people.

What is Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander etiquette?  I recently asked a Yorta Yorta brother and a Pitjantjatjara sister both living in Alice Springs, their advice:

These traditional cultures place importance with building and maintaining rapport and trust. When introducing yourself, do it with warmth and sincerity.  Talk about yourself first. Be slow, simple and methodical, as English may not be their first language.  Dialects such as Kriol, Aboriginal English or Torres Strait Creole may be spoken.  There are over 300 Aboriginal languages spoken throughout Australia and Torres Strait Islands.

It's best to avoid eye contact at first and look away while you are talking.  It is a gesture of respect.  Direct eye contact may be viewed as aggression, rudeness and disrespectful.  Always observe the other person's body language, then use it to guide your own facial expressions and body language.  Be mindful of cross-gender eye contact, only do so when there is conversation initiated.

Avoid asking too many questions, if you are not familiar with them, explain why you need to ask questions.  The best way is to speak about who you are, where you are from, where your family is from and where you’re going.  Perhaps, use a story to get the answer to your question.  They will tend to open-up.

A form of direct respect is using the titles of ‘Aunty’ or ‘Uncle’, they may not be your actual family or even older than you.  If you have been living in an area a long time and are familiar with its people, you may be honoured and asked to call someone their ‘sister’ or ‘brother’.

Listening is imperative.  Due to spoken and body language differences, the person may make an explanation of something in a way that you are not used too.  Take time out to actively listen, do not interrupt or talk-over, show kindness.  You may want to paraphrase and repeat back what they said to show you are listening and wanting to understand.

Be aware that due to language differences or due to shyness, that an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander may say ‘yes’ to your questions, even if they are not in agreement with you. They may simply wish to end the conversation and by saying ‘yes,’ they feel like they can conclude the exchange, especially if they do not understand what you are saying. It is wise to take time to explain in a parable or story, what you need or require.  You may need to find an interpreter.

Be mindful of personal space.  Standing too close, especially with the opposite gender, could be sending signals that could be interpreted wrongly.  Best to keep the usual amount of distance away.  Always ask permission to touch another person.

Time is counted differently.  Community values and family responsibilities will be prioritized over time.  When making an appointment, be flexible.

Breaches of confidentiality can lead to shame (shame is the feeling of humiliation or distress) based on over-sharing personal and private information with others.  It is advised to have serious discussions, holding it in a place the person is most comfortable, private and away from public spaces.  Talking about ‘men’s’ and ‘women’s’ business needs to be kept private and confidential, you want to engender trust and rapport.  Once that is broken, all association with that person could end permanently.

If you are travelling around Australia and Torres Strait Islands and want to walk on their land, you must ask for the owner or elder permission to approach them, then you are able to ask if you're able to walk on their land.  You must be able to make an acknowledgment of country.  It is a way that we can show respect for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander heritage and have an ongoing and open relationship with the traditional owner of the land.

Please be aware, different states, different areas, tribes or associations of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, culture and language will differ.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

1930’s U.S. Drivers Polite

Volvo admits that its self-driving cars are unable to detect kangaroos because hopping confounds their systems. The company’s “Large Animal Detection system” can identify and avoid deer, elk and caribou, but early testing in Australia shows it cannot adjust to the kangaroo’s unique method of movement. – VolvoHouston.com

WASHINGTON.—BeIieve it or not, American drivers have better motoring manners than some of their foreign colleagues. Commissioner H. H. Newell of New South Wales, Australia, after driving several thousand miles in the United States and Great Britain, remarks, “in no country visited did I find more orderly traffic than that which is to be found in the United States.” He compared rule-of-the-road behavior of the U. S., Great Britain and New South Wales and found that drivers in his own state have the worst record for crossing the center line of the road. –1938

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Australian "Bring a Plate" Etiquette

The official definition of a potluck is “a meal or party to which each of the guests contributes a dish,” not a meal or party to which bringing a dish is optional. The latter is called a dinner party. Offering to bring a dish or a bottle of wine to a dinner party is polite, and you should always do that, too. At a potluck, bringing a dish is not polite. It is a requirement. – From “Squid Ink at L.A. Weekly” 

Have you ever been asked to “Bring A Plate”? Most people have, and it is a great way to divide and conquer. You can feed a small army, or just a few friends, in an economical and delicious way.

The expression “bring a plate” has long been common parlance in Australia, so much so it that appears on an Australian Migration Office list of slang that new arrivals need to know. Other cultures may call it ‘potluck.’

As a cultural tradition, it permeates picnics, barbecues, school events, even Christmas lunch. And increasingly it seems, the dinner party.

Fresh Catering’s executive chef Marco Adler says his approach when bringing a plate to a barbecue or dinner party, is to keep it simple. He also advocates making dishes that can be prepared in advance and served from the dish they are cooked in.

“I work in hospitality and the pot-luck idea seems to be a growing trend. If you look at it from an economic standpoint, it takes a lot of pressure off the host. Not everyone can afford to host an extravagant party, so it brings a bit of humbleness to the party,” says Adler, who was awarded Caterer of the Year in 2013, as well as Best Caterer at a Major Event.

Bring a Plate Tips and Ideas: 

Tip 1: Simply gather together your friends, family and colleagues.

Tip 2: Pick a date, time and location. This might be the local park, or somebody's home, to hold the breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Tip 3: As the organiser, make suggestions as to what type of food to bring and/or a theme. For example: Seafood. People can bring salad, dessert, hot and/or cold food.

Tip 4: Make sure there is enough seating, utensils and cutlery for everyone. Always plan for 15% extra, just in case people bring a friend.

Tip 5: Make sure there are sufficient bins and for each individual to throw away any packaging or paper-towels, plastic plates, cups and cutlery.

Tip 6: As for transporting food, if it’s perishable, you should limit the amount of time it’s not refrigerated and transport it in sealed, airtight containers.


Additional Gifts Are Optional – 

Remember, since guests are providing the food, it is customary to accept the fact that the dish could be considered the only gift to you, or at least a portion of the gift. Encourage this and embrace it! You are saving thousands of dollars!

Food is love, and when prepared by your friends and family, it is love, as well as scrumptious scents in the air. The possibilities are endless. People will go out of their way to really show off their skills, and at the same time, impress you.

Having a successfully covered dish at a wedding reception is all about cooperation and fun with people who are important to you. Your friends and family will love the idea and probably go out of their way to really make it a spread that will impress everyone. If done correctly, your wedding reception could turn out to be much better than any catering company could ever deliver.

The word pot-luck appears in 16th century England, in the work of Thomas Nashe. It appears to have meant,"food provided for an uninvited, or possibly unexpected, guest." Or, it could mean "the luck of the pot" referring to whatever food was on-hand. The term "potluck" in Ireland, comes from a time when groups of Irish women would gather together and cook dinner. They only had one pot so they cooked the meal together with whatever ingredients they happened to have that day. Now, to the Irish, a potluck is a meal with no particular menu. Everyone participating brings a dish for all to share. 

Below are our top ideas for when you need to “Bring A Plate” that are "nut free" and can feed all ages:

1. Fried rice
2. Potato Salad
3. Zucchini Slice
4. Pick “N” Mix Fritters
5. Apricot Coconut Balls
6. Rainbow Fruit Skewers
7. Pick “N” Mix Savoury Pancakes
8. Guacamole Dip with Vegetable Sticks
9. Vegetable Sausage Rolls
10. Gingerbread Men & Women
11. Pick “N” Mix Rice Paper Rolls
12. Baked Apple Tarts
13. Zucchini and Basil Muffins
14. Banana Apple Cinnamon Muffins
15. Chew Me Fruit Oat Bars
16. Zucchini Leek and Ricotta Frittata
17. Cheesy Vegemite Scrolls
18. Tomato Risotto Balls
19. Carrot Cup Cakes
20. Mini Puff Pizzas

From contributor, Amanda King, of "Success with Manners." , an International Business and Social Etiquette Training Facility in Australia and New Zealand. Amanda King's program is uniquely adapted to meet students' varied needs. Success with Manners Pty Ltd an International Etiquette, Finishing School and certification program is based on the traditional principles of the finest Swiss Finishing Schools, training in European Savoir-Vivre that extends well beyond basic manners to also include style, image and elegance.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the 

Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Hints and Advice for Early to Mid-20th Century Australians

"Etiquette in the true sense of the word has been submerged by the pace of modern times, but the possession of good manners will always remain the most important asset to anyone who wishes to be considered socially by their friends." From "Etiquette ; A Handbook for All Occasions to Suit Australian Conditions" circa late 1920s to 1930s

Hints for All

This chapter has been devoted to hints for the various sections of the community in the hope that they may prove assistance to the individuals concerned.

Etiquette in the true sense of the word has been submerged by the pace of modern times, but the possession of good manners will always remain the most important asset to anyone who wishes to be considered socially by their friends.

It is always advisable not to overcrowd the room nor to invite people together who have not the same social standing.

The Hostess 

In order to achieve even moderate success as a hostess it is necessary to be self-possessed and efficient in planning the details of an entertainment. Each guest should be afforded a cordial welcome, and a good hostess will endeavour to place her guests at their ease and give them an opportunity to enjoy themselves.

Should a guest be asked to sing or play, then a hostess should ask for a further performance later on in the evening so that their effort will not appear unappreciated. It is always advisable not to overcrowd the room nor to invite people together who have not the same social standing.

A gentleman never boasts about his conquests with the opposite sex, and always makes sure that his collar and handkerchief are immaculate.

Hints for Gentlemen

A gentleman will never push in front of women when entering a public conveyance, or enter a public room where ladies are present without removing his hat.

It is not good manners to be constantly correcting people or boring them with stale jokes and stories. A gentleman never boasts about his conquests with the opposite sex, and always makes sure that his collar and handkerchief are immaculate. A lady has the privilege of recognizing a man, therefore, he should not raise his hand to her in the street until he has been acknowledged.

A lady is never to be found at a disadvantage.

Hints for Ladies

A lady may be described as one who is kind and considerate to everyone and considers no task beneath her should the need arise. Assuming affectations either in speech or mannerisms, using strong perfume or making-up in public, are acts which are avoided by ladies.

A lady is never to be found at a disadvantage. Should an unexpected visitor call, she does not keep them waiting, as her appearance is invariably trim and neat and she does not apologize for the state of her house or the refreshments offered.

Society frowns upon a girl if she does not keep her clothes clean and in good repair.

Hints for Girls

Society frowns upon a girl if she does not keep her clothes clean and in good repair. Slang expressions are better omitted from a girl's conversation, as they become a habit which is hard to break, also the practice of continually whispering and giggling.

Girls will always be teased by their brothers so take it in good part. Even after school-days are ended, continue to take an active interest in sport and improve upon education by reading recommended literature.

Treat all women folk with respect and draw up a chair for them at the dinner table.

Hints for Young Men

A determined effort should be make to overcome any feeling of self- consciousness, and to walk easily with an upright bearing. Treat all women folk with respect and draw up a chair for them at the dinner table.

When are young man is paying for his first call at the home of the young lady in whom he is interested, the visit should be a general one. Overcoats are removed before entering the drawing-room.

Never neglect to assist a lady from a vehicle by alighting first and always allow her the inside of the pavement.

A wife also will appreciate a husband who keeps his appearance trim and neat and who shows an interest in the affairs of the household.

Hints for Husbands

Many husbands do not show their affection for their wives but this is a mistake, as women generally wish to know if they are still cherished and appreciated.

A man should not forget to extend the ordinary little courtesies to his wife such as crossing the room to open a door, and raising his hat to her in the street. A wife also will appreciate a husband who keeps his appearance trim and neat and who shows an interest in the affairs of the household.

Such occasions as birthdays and wedding anniversaries are important, so do not forget to bring home a gift or suggest some celebration to mark the occasion.

It is important that a wife endeavours to retain a well-groomed appearance at all times.

Hints for Wives

It is important that a wife finds time from her many tasks to enjoy an occasional outing with her husband, and that she endeavours to retain a well-groomed appearance at all times. A good husband will feel rewarded if you received punctual and well-cooked meals, and who has a wife who does not fail to show her love and appreciation of him.

A woman will prove more of a companion if she keeps herself informed about current affairs and refrains from worrying about her husband with small upsets, which occurred during the day.

A wife should not criticize her husband in company, nor should she remind him continually of his faults.

Teach them to think and act wisely for themselves, so that they will grow up useful and independent members of the community.

Hints for Parents


It is well to remember that children will follow the example set them by their parents to some extent. Impress upon them the importance of cleanliness and health, and try is far as possible to have suitable replies to their many questions.

Never threaten children unless the threat is carried out, and teach them to think and act wisely for themselves, so that they will grow up useful and independent members of the community.

A businessman will remove his hat before entering a private office for an interview, and will raise his hat on encountering his senior outside the office.

Hints for Business Men

An employee does not discuss with his friends any confidential correspondence relating to the firm by whom he is employed, nor does he receive personal calls during business hours.

A businessman will remove his hat before entering a private office for an interview, and will raise his hat on encountering his senior outside the office. Should an employer desire an interview with a member of his staff, the employee should remain standing until he is asked to be seated.

Cards used by businessmen never include the prefix "Mr."

When being entertained, never display any signs of boredom, but appear appreciative at all times.

Hints on Conduct

A well mannered person will always show deference to the wishes of others, and never boast about their worldly goods or extensive travels.

Reading a newspaper over somebody else's shoulder is bad form, also addressing comparative strangers by their Christian names. Personal illness or other people's should not be discussed in public. On receipt of a letter, it is considerate to reply promptly. When being entertained, never display any signs of boredom, but appear appreciative at all times.

It is customary to send flowers to a debutante on the evening of her presentation, a bride on her wedding day, and to a mother on the birth of her baby.

Flowers

Gifts of flowers are always welcome, and by giving them one very rarely makes a social error. The atmosphere of a home is not complete without some form of floral decoration and an artistic arrangement transforms the appearance of a room. Flowers also play an important part in the success of any social function, and it is a thoughtful gesture on the part of friends of the hostess to send along offerings from their own gardens.

It is customary to send flowers to a debutante on the evening of her presentation, a bride on her wedding day, and to a mother on the birth of her baby. Flowers are also used to express sympathy and for many other occasions.

Society permits a young girl to attend a luncheon or afternoon tea engagement without a chaperone, but never a dinner or theatre.

Chaperones

At certain functions where a young girl should be chaperoned, a mother, married lady, or brother over the age of 18 act in this capacity.

However, a hostess at a private dance or a similar occasion, often takes over the obligations of chaperone to her young lady guests.

Society permits a young girl to attend a luncheon or afternoon tea engagement without a chaperone, but never a dinner or theatre.

Debutantes must be punctual so that all is in readiness before the official party arrive.

Preparation of a Debutante

When debutante are to be presented, the married lady who undertakes the responsibility of presenting them is called the Matron of Honour. Her duties include those of chaperone until after the presentation, and advising the ball committee regarding such matters as arrangements of the dais and floral decorations. In order that each debutante will know the correct procedure for the evening, their asked to attend tuition classes prior to the ball.

Presentation

Debutantes must be punctual so that all is in readiness before the official party arrive.

When the Matron of Honour makes the presentations, each debutante is expected to make a graceful full courtsey. This presentation marks the official entry of a young lady into society, therefore she is expected to remain dignified throughout the evening and not indulge in smoking.

Dress

Conventions states that a debutante should wear either white or cream. However, pale pastel shades of pink or blue are sometimes worn. The style of frocks are not elaborate, and jewelry is not considered correct.

The bouquet and flowers worn in the hair are white with perhaps a hint of pink. Gloves are essential, and shoes should be of white satin.

Flowers are generously employed for the decoration of the dais, and the lady who received the debutante and the Matron of Honour, each receive a bouquet. — From "Etiquette ; A Handbook for All Occasions to Suit Australian Conditions" circa late 1920s to 1930s

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